Hide & Seek

The moment I entered the canopy of trees, I was engulfed in darkness. But I kept walking. The fog wisped around me like smoke from a cigarette, but it was thicker. The damp air was making it hard to breath. I wrapped the jacket around me tighter. Why had I picked my mother's jacket? Mine were much thicker, warmer than this thin piece of fabric.

The forest was thicker than I thought.

I shuffled through roots and weeds, trying my best not to trip. I left my eyes on my feet. My eyesight still hadn't changed - all I could see was dark gray and a few outline of things. I must have lost time faster than I thought.

Fear didn't grip my senses any as I walked through the trees. Only curiosity.

I didn't know how much time had passed. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours even, but it hadn't been too long after I had entered the forest. There was a wide, yet shallow, little river that ran through the trees. Bits of sunlight were reflecting on the the silvery surface.

The sound of it rushing past rocks was soothing.

I bent down to roll up my pants, not wanting to get them wet and have to throw them out - these weren't meant to be worn while walking across rocks over a body of water. And neither were the shoes, but I could buy a new pair so it didn't really matter.

I took a cautious step forward, making sure the rock was sturdy, and then pulled my other foot beside it. Thank you god for giving me good balance.

I took another step, and then another. The water threatening splashed around my ankles. One foot slipped, lodging itself in between two rocks.

I pulled at my pants leg, trying to get it out.

I looked up to see across the waterway, only to find my eyes looking into the dark amber eyes of Isabella Mason. She stood beneath the trees, a small cottage ten feet behind her. I could see shuffling shadows from a window on the side that faced me.

Her expression was that of horror.

Within a matter of seconds, I could feel the sting of my ankle being cut by the edge of the rock. Her eyes turned darker, almost disappearing into the dim lighting already surrounding us. A spark of sunlight filtered through the trees for just a blink of an eye, but that was long enough for me.

Her skin sparkled as if covered in glitter - thousands of tiny diamonds embedded in her skin. I stood there, mouth gaping open.

"NO! COPPER!" her scream was high pitched, like an opera singer. She moved forward to stop whatever was happening, but it was too late.

A blur of white flashed before I could even blink, and I felt myself hurtling through the air.

Pain instantly racked through my body...

Death is peaceful...

Easy...

Parts of my life flashed before my eyes...

Dad taking me to my first movie... my first carnival... my first swimming lesson... my first friend's birthday party...

Mom always locked up in her office... working on a book... and another book... and another book...

Dad would always bring her food.

Mom wouldn't come out for days. Sometimes I thought she was dead.

But that didn't matter, she never paid any attention to me...

Dad was there for my school play - I was the main character.

Mom was at home, working on a book.

Dad was front row, sat there for two hours just to make sure he got that seat.

Mom didn't go to my fifth birthday party - she was at a movie premiere.

Dad and I stayed home, watching old cartoons and having ice cream fights.

Mom came home, drunk. I was sent to bed.

I could hear their yelling. But it was soon muffled by the stomping of feet on the stairs. I turned over, pretending I was asleep.

The next day I found mom sitting a the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in her hands.

She was staring off into nowhere.

I asked where dad was. I didn't get an answer...

I remember moving out of our California home and to New York...

Then Hawaii...

...meeting a famous singer...

Then Florida...

...going to my first movie premiere...

Then Minnesota...

...riding my first horse...

Then Maine...

...getting used to being the new kid...

Then Texas...

...trying to take in the heat...

Then Nevada...

...watching mom play the slots and gamble...

Then Michigan...

...eating my first whole cheese pizza...

Then Georgia...

...finding out I'm allergic to peanuts, and falling in love with peaches...

Then Colorado...

...hiking every weekend and knowing the paths like the back of my hand...

And now Forks, Washington...

...finding out that life isn't as I expected.

I didn't see dad after that night on my fifth birthday party.

It was then that I realized it was mom's fault that he was never in my life.

That he never called me, or sent me presents, or even answered my emails!

It was her fault - all her fault that I couldn't enjoy the company of my father like all the other kids out there!

I kept telling myself that it was his fault, that he left because of something he did, but it was mom.

I had tried so hard to get that memory of that night out, that I filled it with my own lying fantasy.

Death was peaceful...

Easy...

Life was harder...