I Knew You At Once.

The minute I saw you I recognised you. you did not remember me, but I didn’t expect you too. Who would remember someone they had known 10 more than ten years earlier, and hadn’t even known well then?



I remember. The first time I ever heard someone better than me. Standing there, her hair draped around her, like a hooded cloak. She looked shyly around and took a deep breath. It was as if she had dropped her mask. She was no longer a nervous six-year-old, she was a performer.

She nodded at the pianist, and then turned to stare above our heads.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

It felt like someone had punched me in the gut. In the whole eight years of my life, I had always been the best. Everyone said so, and I had never doubted it, never considered there might be someone just as good as me, if not better. It was a new idea, completely foreign. And there was this little girl. She was younger than me. And there was a possibility she was better. I shook my head as I listened to the rest of the song:

Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cause I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

Just enjoy the show

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I dont know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

dum de dum
dudum de dum

Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

I want my money back
I want my money back
I want my money back
Just enjoy the show

The lyrics suited her, it was like she was telling a story, and that it was her story. She was just a girl, who looked just as confused as everyone else, but really, she had it all sussed. Life was a show. Only the best of us know that, my eight-year-old self thought.

The girl looked up, she had dropped her eyes as the song finished. Her eyes were big and brown, and she look surprised. Like she had forgotten she was supposed to be performing for other people, for a contest, because she knew that really it was all for herself. If other people enjoyed it to, so much the better! It was how I often felt after an exceptionally good performance.

‘Jesse St. James?’ the stage director read from the clip-board.

‘Yes!’ I said, standing up.

‘You know what you are singing? Go tell Mike at the piano.’

I had known what I was going to sing. I had been about to sing These Streets, but I suddenly had a much better idea. If only I had been listening when they had called out the girls name! I could just guess, I thought. What was her name likely to be? Not Mary, nor Alice. And I didn’t know any songs with girls called Alice or Mary in them anyway. I could only remember two song of the top of my head that had girls names in them: Hey there Delilah and Elenore, and Elenore as a name suited her better.

I didn’t really understand it, but my singing teacher said it was a love song, about a pretty girl called Elenore, and it seemed to suit, so I went over to the guy named Mike and told him, praying he would know the song. Luckily he did. I looked up and smiled at the girl. Then I opened mouth to sing.

You got a thing about you
I just can't live without you
I really want you, Elenore, near me
Your looks intoxicate me
Even though your folks hate me
There's no one like you, Elenore, really

Elenore, gee I think you're swell
And you really do me well
You're my pride and joy, et cetera
Elenore, can I take the time
To ask you to speak your mind
Tell me that you love me better

I really think you're groovy
Let's go out to a movie
What do you say, now, Elenore, can we?
They'll turn the lights way down low
Maybe we won't watch the show
I think I love you, Elenore, love me

Elenore, gee I think you're swell
And you really do me well
You're my pride and joy, et cetera
Elenore, can I take the time
To ask you to speak your mind
Tell me that you love me better

Elenore, gee I think you're swell ah-hah
Elenore, gee I think you're swell ah-hah
Hah

It was a good performance, even by my standards. I had always know I would win the contest, but it was nice to win by a long shot!

I looked over at the girl again. She glared at me and then stomped off. It was most infuriating.

Twenty minutes later, the man with the clipboard got up.

‘We have the winner!’ I was barely listening. I knew the drill, they said my name, I walked up, shook so hands got given my trophy or medal or whatever, acted surprised, then sat back down.

‘Rachel Berry!’

What? I thought, looking round. Who was Rachel? It had to be a joke.

The Elenore girl squealed and stood up. So she was called Rachel. And she beat me.



I never expected to see you again. When Mrs. Corcoran told me she needed me to make friends with a girl called Rachel Berry, I almost fell out of my seat. I remembered the name.

When I first saw you, I knew it was you, Rachel, the first and only person to ever beat me. We sung together, and you said you were nervous. I replied that I remember when I used to get nervous. I didn’t. I had never been nervous in my life. I was great. Expect for then. It was the first second time ever. The first was the other time I sung near you.

And that is why I don’t regret what I am about to do. You asked for it. And you didn’t remember me.

I chuck the egg strait at your face. Splat.

‘I loved you.’ I say. I want to tell you about the contest. How you forgot. But I don’t. Its more horrible to keep you guessing. Me knowing, and you not. Maybe then you will feel this bad, this horrible. Maybe you feel the same nothingness as me.

I turn, and walk away. I want to forget, maybe you could teach me.