My Sister's Secret.

I want to say I love you to let the sweet words spill off my lips like honey falling softly to his ears. Instead though to my dismay they remained lodged in my throat as I look into his eyes. Why now? I scream in my head hating the diary and all the secrets and myself for letting them stand in the way of this true love God has somehow blessed me with. I shook my head not being able to say the words I meant with all my heart to the only man I’d ever felt this way about or this deeply about, I thought to myself looking down.

And to my surprise instead of pushing me away and taking his words back. My sweet sweet Daniel merely pulls me against him with a sigh. And murmurs, “It’s alright sweetheart I think I know how you feel. And I will not pressure you to say the words until you are ready but do know I love you. Though if my assumptions are wrong then I dare say my heart will break.” More tears spill out as he finishes with angst in his voice.

I snuggle against him for a moment wanting this to be it no problems no secrets! Just our love surrounding us to where we never leave the manor and live and love with no problems forever. But unlike mothers books this world doesn’t have fairytales I decide as I silently scoot away from the man I love which I have finally admitted I love him but only to myself… I then decide if we will ever be happy, truly happy I have to find out the answers to all these questions. I jump up and he looks at me startled and scared I quickly look away knowing if I look into his eyes the words will never come. “Daniel I can not tell you why or how I feel at the time being but I promise you I will in the future. However at the time being I think it is appropriate for me to stay at my father’s house. There are quite a few things I need to… figure out alone.” my voice breaks and another tear sweeps down as I imagine the look of dismay playing on that handsome face. “I shall go pack and be gone.” I mutter before running to my room. I hit the door to my room quite hard but I don’t stop because I know if I do I will turn around run into the man I love’s arms and beg him to tell me everything. I quickly grab a small suitcase packing my essentials and a few dresses. I then run back down stairs stopping when I see Daniel’s tear stained face harboring a look so sorrowful I feel sick. “I told the men to get your carriage ready.” he murmurs his voice breaking. I hate this I scream in my head longing to run to him and ease his pain hug and kiss it all away. But I merely look down and mutter “Could you please send the rest of my things to the manor?” I look up and he’s staring right into my eyes I almost turn but he steps out grabbing my shoulders lightly but tight enough that I can’t turn away. Before pressing his lips hungrily against mine I gasp in shock and kiss him back. After a moment he lets me go stepping away from me and walking into the study. I walk to the door looking around the house I had almost thought could be my home before opening the door and as I step out. I think I hear Daniel say “Is there any way I can make you stay?” but I look down thinking I’m fooling myself before walking down the steps and climbing into the carriage that is taking me away from the only person I love and because of him the only place I’ve felt safe…