Inside of You

So don’t say that you just want to run away
Replay all the things that I tried to say

“I hate bus days,” Babe said to John as the lounged in the very back room of the bus. ‘Bus Days’ as the guys dubbed them, were days that the bands had to stay on the bus all day and most of the night to get to the next stop on the tour on time.

John was playing with Babe’s hair and said, “I know. But look on the Brightside! You get to spend the whole day with me! Your best friend.”

“Definitely we’re best friends forever Johnnyboy. Which reminds me I have to make your string bracelet thingy you asked for. Eh, I’m too lazy to go get everything now. I’ll get it later though, I PROMISE,” Babe said not wanting to have to move anywhere.

“You’re so lazy,” John told Babe jokingly.

Babe looked up at him, “This coming from the boy who didn’t get out of bed for 48 hours because it was to ‘comfortable’ to leave.”

“Please you were with me the whole time that happened,” John said in reply.

“Damnit,” Babe muttered trying to think of another point to prove how lazy John was.

John stuck his tongue out at Babe, “I win.”

“Fine,” Babe admitted, she hated losing and John knew that, so whenever she gave into John he considered it a little victory.

John looked at the window and watched as the Ohio countryside flew past them. It was so different from Arizona, John couldn’t help but ask, “Babe. Do you ever think about the future?”

“Sure,” Babe answered simply and she looked at the window to see what John was staring at.

John shook his head, “No, that’s not what I meant. I mean do you ever really think about it? Like what you’ll be doing in the future?”

Babe thought for a second, to be honest she couldn’t picture her life without John, but as of now she had to. Babe took a deep breath then said, “Yeah. Actually I think that after we get back to Arizona I might go to New York or somewhere. There’s nothing left for me in Arizona.”

That was exactly the opposite of what John wanted to hear. The last thing he wanted was for Babe to leave him, “Why would you leave Arizona? It’s got everything. Your friends and family.” And in the back of John’s mind he also added himself to that list.

“Let’s face it John. Sooner than later you’ll be back on tour again. And I’ll be home all alone in Arizona without any of you guys. I can’t just sit around and wait for something to find me. I gotta go out in the world and find it. I’m just gonna run away from the familiar until I find something new,” Babe told John.

“But we’d be back from tour soon enough, or you could even come with us again,” John say getting desperate. He wanted Babe it change her mind so badly. He didn’t want Babe to leave him.

“Let’s face it John. This was fun, but I can’t be your merch girl for the rest of my life,” Babe said, and part of her wanted to be their merch girl for the rest of her life. But there was no way she could do that and see John every day. It was killing her right now that she couldn’t just lean up and kiss him; she couldn’t go through this torture again.

“All the guys will miss you though. What will Pat do when you don’t distract him by playing Mario Kart with him. Or what will Kennedy do when he can’t figure out how to work the DVD player and you’re the only one he ever lets help him? Or what about Jared, what will he do when he can’t pick on you all the time anymore? And Garrett, well he can’t live without those gummy bears you and him are addicted to. And whenever you aren’t here he has like a sugar crash and dies,” John said trying to think of every possible reason why Babe shouldn’t leave.

Babe laughed, “You guys will manage somehow. You did before without me.”

“But I don’t think we could do it again,” John said honestly; then he added under his breath, “I know I couldn’t.”

“What,” Babe asked.

“Nothing, just… Nothing,” John said a little too quickly for Babe to believe him; but she decided to drop it.

“Anyway like I said, you managed before without me. You can do it again,” Babe repeated.
John finally admitted, “Well I’ll miss you a lot.”

“I’d miss you too Johnny. But we can still video chat every single night,” Babe replied, not getting the hidden meaning behind John’s sentence.

“What will you do,” John asked curiously.

Babe looked at him, “After some of those fan girls posted pictures of me online. I got a couple modeling agencies emailing me about doing stuff for them. I sent a couple of places back some more pictures so that they could decide whether or not they would want to sign me. But hopefully they do. That would be absolutely amazing. But I don’t see why all of them are contacting me, I’m the opposite of pretty.”

“You know that’s not true Babe. You’re beautiful,” John told her being 100 percent honest.
Babe smiled, “I just like hearing you admit that.”

“You are so conceited sometimes Babe I swear to God,” John said shaking his head.

“Oh yeah? Name one time I was conceited,” Babe challenged him.

“Besides right now? Fine I will,” John answered, “Remember Prom?”

“Is that even a question Johnny? Of course I remember Prom, you were my date because my boyfriend broke up with me a week before,” Babe said the memories rushing back to her.

“That night you were so conceited. You kept saying how gorgeous you looked to all of your friends,” John said causing Babe to blush a deep shade of red.

“That doesn’t count,” Babe protested, “It was PROM. Every little girl dreams of that night and her wedding night. And besides I told other people they looked gorgeous that night too. Even if I didn’t like them!”

“Fine, okay you win,” John said backing down; apparently you didn’t question a girl about Prom.

Babe thought a minute then said, “Now that I think about it. I went to every senior year formal with you Johnny. We went to Homecoming, Winter Ball, Spring Fling, and Prom together.”

“Duh, because we’re cool like that remember,” John told Babe.

Babe mock-sighed, “Fine I was just trying to bring back happy memories.”

“You call forcing me to dress up in a suit then dragging me to a school dance happy memories,” John said shaking his head, “What are you on?”

“HEY! Those are happy memories for me,” Babe said giggling, “Well then what’s your happy memories of us from way back when?”

John thought about it for a moment and said, “Okay, so remember when our first day of high school?”

Babe laughed then nodded, “We were awkward kids weren’t we?”

“I couldn’t agree with you more. But I remember that was the day you introduced me to the rest of the band, claiming and I quote ‘there as awkward as you but pretty cool dudes anyway. You all should be friends!’”

“I did do that didn’t I? I was a pretty cool kid back then,” Babe replied laughing, “Syyyyyyyyke.”

“Are we having remember when time,” Garrett asked sticking his head into the room John and Babe where in. They both nodded yes, “SWEET! Count me in.”

All the guys eventually wandered into the back of the bus until it was completely cramped, sharing memories and funny stories about each other. The best part for John was that after the rest of the guys came in, Babe and him started holding hands again. Which gave him hope that he still might be able to keep her in his life after the tour ended.