I Was Born To Hate You, Not Love You

Finally class was over and I could get away from Edward. I cant imprint on him, I cant love him, I have to hate him.But God did I want him. That's all I could think about as I opened my locker, how much I wanted him. It was the first day so no homework,but I was still not loving the way my day went. I pulled my empty book bag over my shoulder and began to walk out.
"Hey Jacob,"Bella yelled down the hall.
"Whats up."
"wondering if you want to hang out."
"I'm not really in the mood to be around Edward."
"He's not going to be their, he's out hunting."
"Maybe some other time, I just want to go home."
"Ok,"she sighed sound disapointed.
We both got in are cars right next to each other and waved bye before going are different ways. I didn't really have any plans I just wanted to go home. The clouds looked like ran but I got home before anything could come down.
"Hey loser,"joked Rachel
"Hi," I mumbled.
"Whats wrong, did Edward turn you down."
"WelL. I told him and Bell I'm gay and he told his blood-sucker sister."
"Whoa, so your like 'out' now."
"I guess," I sighed flopping on the sofa next to her. "I think I imprinted today."
"You imprinted?"Paul said walking out of the kitchen with a sandwich in his mouth.
'Uhh no," I said quick.
"You just said you did, so who is it," he asked wrapping his arm around Rachel.
"It's not important."
"Come on Jacob, just tell us," my sister pleaded.
"Ok,"I took a deep breath."It's Edward."
"Your gay,"Paul yelled in anger.
"Ya, calm the hell down," Paul had a habit of turning and attacking before rationalizing.
"Ok fine, Edward who," he asked behind gritted teeth
"Edward Cullen."
"What,"Paul yelled.
He started to get really angry so I pushed him outside just as he took form. I had not other way to calm him down so I turned too. Before I knew it he was charging as he was came at me. I bit his leg as he clawed me in the stomach. We fought hard for a while but without a lot of blood shed. He did manage to claw me in the face before he finally calmed down.
"Sorry man,"Paul sighed back in is human form. "Do Embry and Quil know."
"Quil knows I'm gay but you and my sister are the only ones who know about Edward, so don't tell anyone," I pleaded and he nodded ok.
"Are you going to tell dad,"Rachel asked.
"I guess."
"Good, tell him on the way back from picking him up at Charlie's," Rachel smiled throwing me my keys.
I could have argued but insted I just got into my car and drove to Bella's house trying to figure out the right way to tell Billy. Nothing sounded right in my head and once I was to Bella's all hope was lost. I got out of the car to help Billy in before folding his wheelchair. We said bye to Charlie and I quickly pulled away before Bella could come say anything about today to me. Riding with my dad was always quite but this was awkward quiet.
"Dad," I sighed," I imprinted today."
"Wow, that's great. Who's the lucky girl."
"Boy," I corrected him
"What?"
"Who's the lucky boy. dad, sorry," I began to feel tears in my eyes."But I'm gay."
"Why are you sorry, you cant help who you love," Billy said putting his arm on my shoulder,"So who is the lucky boy."
"Edward Cullen."
"Bella's boyfriend? The vampire?"
"yeah."
"Hes a vampire and your a werewolf, you two cant even be friends," Billy said stern as I stopped the truck.
"You just said 'you cant help who you love'" I reminded him as I got out and unfolded his wheelchair so he could get in it.
"Cant you just un-imprint on him."
"I wish,"I sighed wheeling him into the house."I'm going for a drive. I need to clear my head,"i sighed going back out to my truck. I got in and started driving down the road completely zoned out. The sound or rain on my window broke my empty thoughs. Tears started to form in my eyes as I drove faster. I was all the way up to 70mph and had not intention of slowing down. I just wanted to end it all. I cant love Edward when he loves Bella and even if they broke up. I cant love Edward when he is a vampire. I closed my eyes and started to speed even faster. I prepared for the worst but instead my truck stalled and then stopped in the middle of the road.
"Shit," I yelled slamming my head against my steering wheel. I got out of the truck and opened the hood. It was raining really hard causing water to blur my vision but I could see the motor was steaming."damn it," I yelled slamming the hood shut.
"Need help?" someone yelled over the rain as they pulled up next to me.
"ya can I get a lift," I asked turning around to see Edward."Never mind."
(How likely is it he would turn up here), I asked myself.
"Not likely.Your not going to get anywhere in this weather," he yelled getting out of his car and opening the passenger door."Now get in, your soaked."
"Fine,"I mumbled sliding in as my heart beat went faster and faster in my chest.
"Why were you all the way out here?"
"I was trying to kill myself," I said blunt.
"Just because of the feeling you have for me?"
"I don't know what your talking about,"I brushed him off. I looked over at him and he looked at me with shocked eyes before pulling over on the side of the road. "What" I asked as he began to lift his hand.
"What happened," he asked touching my face.
"Nothing, Paul and I just got in a fight."
"Why?"
"Because I'm gay and because..." I couldn't tell him.
"And Because?"
"Why are you asking so many questions," I yelled as I hit his hand away, "just drive."
"Ok," he smiled pulling back onto the road. He continued to drive down the road with a smug smile that made me want to kiss him and hit him all at once. "He doesn't like that you like me right?"
"Well he probably wouldn't if I did, but I don't."
"Then why were you having dirty thoughts about us in class."
"What?" I yelled in anger.
"It's only fair, you listened to my conversation with the teacher so I read your mind. Although I didn't think you would be thinking about having sex with me" he said stopping at my house. He leaned into me so close I could feel his breath on my lips. I started to lean in to kiss him until I realized what I was doing.
"I cant do this," I whispered as my heart raced.
"Do what," Edward whispered in my ear, sending pleasure down my spine.
"This, with you," I pushed him away. "I want to kiss you but I cant. I have... We have to hate each other," I yelled getting out of his car and running into my house.I ran into my room as water dripped all over the house. Once in my room I pulled my wet clothes off so I was only in my boxers.
"Whoa, what happened to you?"Quil asked coming in my room.
"Oh," I sighed looking at my stomach, "Paul got a little mad at me."
"What did you do this time."
"Told him I imprinted on Edward Cullen,"I said quick in one breath as I pulled on pajama pants.
"What, Eward Cullen," he yelled, "That bloodsucker, how can you imprint on him."
"I don't know how the hell imprinting works," I sighed flopping on my bed. "Dad feels the same. He thinks I can just un-imprint."
"You came out to him?"
"Ya and at school too but I still have to tell Embry and Sam."
"Don't worry Embry already knows," he blurted out.
"How?" I asked giving Quil a death glare.
"how what?" he tried looking innocent.
"Quil," I said stern.
"I told him,"Quil smiled. "But he totally doesn't care."
"Sam's probably going to kick me out of the pack."
"Ya, probably," Quil sighed.
"Wow, best friend. Thanks for that it really makes me feel better."
"Hey man, If you go, I go,"Quil smiled patting my back.