Where'd You Go
1/1
"Lauren, this is stupid!" Jennifer called out to her best friend while she pulled on her arm, hoping to get her up out of the chair that she seemed to be practically living in recently. "Get up! We're going out tonight! You're going out tonight!" she said, continuing to pull on her arm, but Lauren wouldn't budge.
"I can't," Lauren shook her head. "What if Steve calls?" she questioned, referring to the guy she was in love with. In her eyes, they were dating, and they had been for the past three years. But, Jennifer knew that in Steven's eyes, they were just part-time lovers, only when it fit his schedule and was beneficial to him.
Steven had been drafted by the Tampa Bay Lightning just two years ago, and he hadn't thought twice about joining the team when they presented him with a contract, not even consulting Lauren about it. The two of them had been dating for close to a year at that point, and Lauren had honestly thought that the two of them were going to end up together forever, even if they were only seventeen.
She had supported Steven completely, telling him to do whatever was best for him and his career and that she would be behind him one hundred percent. And, she had kept that promise being completely faithful to him over the years. But, the same couldn't be said for Steven, as Jennifer well knew, not that Lauren would believe her any time she brought the subject up.
Lauren had stayed back in their hometown, and even though she was miserable most of the time, she would never do anything to disturb her relationship with Steven. She was so devoted to him that she had now begun to plan her day around him calling her, or at least when he told her that he'd call her. Most of the time, he didn't actually call, and three days later, she'd get an apology through a text message that Jennifer knew was as fake as the extensions the girls he had been sleeping with were.
Jennifer had confronted Lauren so many times, telling her that there was no way that Steven was faithful to her. He was a phenom in Tampa Bay, and she was sure that girls were all over him. She was also sure that Steven wasn't about to fend them all off. But, no matter what was said, Lauren still believed that Steven loved her and was completely devoted to their truly non-existent relationship.
"Lauren, please, come out with us tonight?" Jennifer was practically begging at this point.
"I can't," Lauren shook her head. "Steve promised to call tonight, and I can't miss that call."
"Why not? It's not like he makes it a priority to pick up when you call," Jennifer muttered under her breath, making sure that Lauren didn't hear her, as she didn't want to upset her best friend.
"What?" Lauren asked, not quite hearing her.
Jennifer sighed. "Nothing. If you want to stay here and wait forever for him to call, then fine. But, don't expect me to stay here with you. Call me if you change you mind," she added before she walked out the door, leaving Lauren there by herself, staring at the phone, praying that Steven wasn't going to let her down this time.
Lauren remembered when Steven and her were madly in love. It seemed like it was forever ago that the two of them would see each other every single day, but in reality, it was only a few years ago. When he had gone to Tampa Bay, he had asked Lauren what she wanted to do about their relationship, whether she wanted to be exclusive or not.
She had told him that she would be fine with whatever he wanted to do, and he had decided that they wouldn't put a label on their relationship. Lauren had taken that to mean that their relationship wouldn't change from the way it was then, that they would be the ideal couple. But, Steven hadn't looked at it the same way, figuring that when he went back home they would still be together, but he didn't need to be exclusive when he was in Tampa Bay.
Now, Lauren would sit by the phone practically every single day, simply because Steven had once upon a time promised to call her every day. Now she was even breaking off plans she had with Jennifer, something that her best friend just couldn't understand.
Her eyes were beginning to droop becoming overcome with tiredness when suddenly she heard her phone ringing, and she sprung to life. "Hello?" she asked hopefully.
"Lauren, hey," she heard Steven say, and she could tell by his voice that he was slightly drunk. She glanced at her watch to see it was nearly one in the morning, but she didn't care, as she was currently talking to the man she loved more than anything in the world.
"Hey," she smiled. "What's going on?" she asked. She hadn't talked to him in nearly a week, and she wondered what had been going on in his life.
"Nothing," Steven replied. "You?"
"Nothing much," Lauren said, an awkward silence coming between the two of them. And, this was what most of their phone conversations consisted of. Lauren would wait for hours for a simple phone call from Steven, and once he finally called, she wouldn't know what to say, and there would be silence between the two of them.
After a few more moments, Steven said, "Well, I better get going. Practice in the morning."
"Okay," Lauren said in a disappointed tone, knowing he was lying to her when she heard some girl's voice in the background telling Steven she was ready to go back to her place. "Love you! Call me tomorrow?"
But, Steven didn't answer her, instead immediately hanging up the phone. Lauren slowly got up out of the chair, walking to her bedroom and crawling into bed, wondering how different her life would be if Steven hadn't been drafted by Tampa Bay.
The following day, Jennifer went over to Lauren's place to check on her best friend like she always did, only to find her still in bed at nearly one in the afternoon. Fortunately, it was a weekend and she didn't need to be at work. If it had been during the week, Lauren surely would have been fired, as she had been late to work or completely missed it altogether due to sulking in her bed.
"What happened this time?" Jennifer asked with little sympathy in her voice. She loved Lauren like a sister, and she wanted her to be happy, but she knew that wasn’t with Steven, and she was waiting on the day that Lauren realized that, too.
"Nothing," Lauren mumbled, not getting out of bed, but turning over so she was looking at Jennifer.
"Did he call?"
"Yeah," she sighed.
"And?"
"And, we said maybe five words to each other before I heard some chick tell him she was ready to go back to her place," Jennifer said, staring up at the ceiling.
"Lauren! Do you not see what's happening?" Jennifer questioned. She felt she had this conversation with her every few days, but she never got through to Lauren. "He's not in a relationship with you anymore like you think he is! You need to end this. Look at what it's doing to you! You're lying in bed on a Saturday afternoon, while he's in Tampa Bay having the time of his life. Stop letting him do this to you. Stop doing this to yourself!"
"I love him," Lauren muttered.
"I know you do, but you can't live like this. You just can't!" Jennifer exclaimed before turning around and leaving Lauren's apartment, hating to see her friend like this.
Lauren continued to lie in bed, thinking about what Jennifer had just said to her. Her mind kept racing, going from thought to thought, from what had taken place last night with the phone call to all the good times with Steven when they were younger to all the times he'd let her down lately.
She knew Jennifer was right. She needed to get out of this relationship. It was killing her. And, so it was decided right then and there that she was going to change her life around. She had to get out of this relationship that was eating her alive. She hated the person she'd turned into, and Steven hadn't even noticed the change.
She got up out of bed and went to take a shower, getting dressed, and for the first time in a long time, she went out, not worrying about if she was going to miss a call from Steven. She met a few of her friends for dinner and then went out to a movie with them.
When she got back to her apartment, she heard her phone ringing, and she walked over picking it up. "Hello?"
"Hey Lauren," she heard Steven's voice say, and her heart began racing again, like it always did when she heard his voice or saw his face. She then heard a few female voices in the background and her world came crashing back down to reality.
"Hey," she said.
"I can't talk long," he said, and she heard a gasp coming from him, and her mind wondered what exactly those girls were doing to him.
"That's fine," Lauren shrugged.
"Really?" Steven questioned, not believing her. She'd always kind of been clingy when it came to him, and he was expecting her to be upset.
"You know what, Steven, I've had it with everything. I bet you don’t even think about me when you're in Tampa Bay," she said, finally letting him hear all the things that she should have told him a long time ago. "You're never here when I need you," she continued.
"This is my job, Lauren!" he said loudly. "It's my career."
"I've had it with your career," she said simply. "And honestly, I don't even know who you are anymore. Where did the real you go?"
"What are you talking about, Lauren?"
"I can't do this anymore. You can go out with all those girls and not worry about it affecting me…not that I think you ever thought about me in the first place…because I'm through with everything. When you come back home, I won't be here."
"What?"
"Goodbye," she said, hanging up the phone.
Of course as soon as she hung up, she regretted saying those things, and she wanted to call him back and beg him to come home, but she knew she couldn't do that. Waiting around on Steven had ruined her life, and she couldn't do it anymore.
And, just like she had told him, she wasn't there when he came back in the summer after the Lightning's season had ended. He had expected to go to her apartment, quickly talk things out with her and have their summer relationship go back to normal.
But, when he knocked on her door, he found a newlywed couple living there instead. And, he realized that she hadn't been lying when she told him she wasn't going to be there. He sat down on the floor outside of the apartment actually saddened. And for the first time, he was now feeling what Lauren had felt for the last two years: disappointed and, in one word, miserable.
"I can't," Lauren shook her head. "What if Steve calls?" she questioned, referring to the guy she was in love with. In her eyes, they were dating, and they had been for the past three years. But, Jennifer knew that in Steven's eyes, they were just part-time lovers, only when it fit his schedule and was beneficial to him.
Steven had been drafted by the Tampa Bay Lightning just two years ago, and he hadn't thought twice about joining the team when they presented him with a contract, not even consulting Lauren about it. The two of them had been dating for close to a year at that point, and Lauren had honestly thought that the two of them were going to end up together forever, even if they were only seventeen.
She had supported Steven completely, telling him to do whatever was best for him and his career and that she would be behind him one hundred percent. And, she had kept that promise being completely faithful to him over the years. But, the same couldn't be said for Steven, as Jennifer well knew, not that Lauren would believe her any time she brought the subject up.
Lauren had stayed back in their hometown, and even though she was miserable most of the time, she would never do anything to disturb her relationship with Steven. She was so devoted to him that she had now begun to plan her day around him calling her, or at least when he told her that he'd call her. Most of the time, he didn't actually call, and three days later, she'd get an apology through a text message that Jennifer knew was as fake as the extensions the girls he had been sleeping with were.
Jennifer had confronted Lauren so many times, telling her that there was no way that Steven was faithful to her. He was a phenom in Tampa Bay, and she was sure that girls were all over him. She was also sure that Steven wasn't about to fend them all off. But, no matter what was said, Lauren still believed that Steven loved her and was completely devoted to their truly non-existent relationship.
"Lauren, please, come out with us tonight?" Jennifer was practically begging at this point.
"I can't," Lauren shook her head. "Steve promised to call tonight, and I can't miss that call."
"Why not? It's not like he makes it a priority to pick up when you call," Jennifer muttered under her breath, making sure that Lauren didn't hear her, as she didn't want to upset her best friend.
"What?" Lauren asked, not quite hearing her.
Jennifer sighed. "Nothing. If you want to stay here and wait forever for him to call, then fine. But, don't expect me to stay here with you. Call me if you change you mind," she added before she walked out the door, leaving Lauren there by herself, staring at the phone, praying that Steven wasn't going to let her down this time.
Lauren remembered when Steven and her were madly in love. It seemed like it was forever ago that the two of them would see each other every single day, but in reality, it was only a few years ago. When he had gone to Tampa Bay, he had asked Lauren what she wanted to do about their relationship, whether she wanted to be exclusive or not.
She had told him that she would be fine with whatever he wanted to do, and he had decided that they wouldn't put a label on their relationship. Lauren had taken that to mean that their relationship wouldn't change from the way it was then, that they would be the ideal couple. But, Steven hadn't looked at it the same way, figuring that when he went back home they would still be together, but he didn't need to be exclusive when he was in Tampa Bay.
Now, Lauren would sit by the phone practically every single day, simply because Steven had once upon a time promised to call her every day. Now she was even breaking off plans she had with Jennifer, something that her best friend just couldn't understand.
Her eyes were beginning to droop becoming overcome with tiredness when suddenly she heard her phone ringing, and she sprung to life. "Hello?" she asked hopefully.
"Lauren, hey," she heard Steven say, and she could tell by his voice that he was slightly drunk. She glanced at her watch to see it was nearly one in the morning, but she didn't care, as she was currently talking to the man she loved more than anything in the world.
"Hey," she smiled. "What's going on?" she asked. She hadn't talked to him in nearly a week, and she wondered what had been going on in his life.
"Nothing," Steven replied. "You?"
"Nothing much," Lauren said, an awkward silence coming between the two of them. And, this was what most of their phone conversations consisted of. Lauren would wait for hours for a simple phone call from Steven, and once he finally called, she wouldn't know what to say, and there would be silence between the two of them.
After a few more moments, Steven said, "Well, I better get going. Practice in the morning."
"Okay," Lauren said in a disappointed tone, knowing he was lying to her when she heard some girl's voice in the background telling Steven she was ready to go back to her place. "Love you! Call me tomorrow?"
But, Steven didn't answer her, instead immediately hanging up the phone. Lauren slowly got up out of the chair, walking to her bedroom and crawling into bed, wondering how different her life would be if Steven hadn't been drafted by Tampa Bay.
The following day, Jennifer went over to Lauren's place to check on her best friend like she always did, only to find her still in bed at nearly one in the afternoon. Fortunately, it was a weekend and she didn't need to be at work. If it had been during the week, Lauren surely would have been fired, as she had been late to work or completely missed it altogether due to sulking in her bed.
"What happened this time?" Jennifer asked with little sympathy in her voice. She loved Lauren like a sister, and she wanted her to be happy, but she knew that wasn’t with Steven, and she was waiting on the day that Lauren realized that, too.
"Nothing," Lauren mumbled, not getting out of bed, but turning over so she was looking at Jennifer.
"Did he call?"
"Yeah," she sighed.
"And?"
"And, we said maybe five words to each other before I heard some chick tell him she was ready to go back to her place," Jennifer said, staring up at the ceiling.
"Lauren! Do you not see what's happening?" Jennifer questioned. She felt she had this conversation with her every few days, but she never got through to Lauren. "He's not in a relationship with you anymore like you think he is! You need to end this. Look at what it's doing to you! You're lying in bed on a Saturday afternoon, while he's in Tampa Bay having the time of his life. Stop letting him do this to you. Stop doing this to yourself!"
"I love him," Lauren muttered.
"I know you do, but you can't live like this. You just can't!" Jennifer exclaimed before turning around and leaving Lauren's apartment, hating to see her friend like this.
Lauren continued to lie in bed, thinking about what Jennifer had just said to her. Her mind kept racing, going from thought to thought, from what had taken place last night with the phone call to all the good times with Steven when they were younger to all the times he'd let her down lately.
She knew Jennifer was right. She needed to get out of this relationship. It was killing her. And, so it was decided right then and there that she was going to change her life around. She had to get out of this relationship that was eating her alive. She hated the person she'd turned into, and Steven hadn't even noticed the change.
She got up out of bed and went to take a shower, getting dressed, and for the first time in a long time, she went out, not worrying about if she was going to miss a call from Steven. She met a few of her friends for dinner and then went out to a movie with them.
When she got back to her apartment, she heard her phone ringing, and she walked over picking it up. "Hello?"
"Hey Lauren," she heard Steven's voice say, and her heart began racing again, like it always did when she heard his voice or saw his face. She then heard a few female voices in the background and her world came crashing back down to reality.
"Hey," she said.
"I can't talk long," he said, and she heard a gasp coming from him, and her mind wondered what exactly those girls were doing to him.
"That's fine," Lauren shrugged.
"Really?" Steven questioned, not believing her. She'd always kind of been clingy when it came to him, and he was expecting her to be upset.
"You know what, Steven, I've had it with everything. I bet you don’t even think about me when you're in Tampa Bay," she said, finally letting him hear all the things that she should have told him a long time ago. "You're never here when I need you," she continued.
"This is my job, Lauren!" he said loudly. "It's my career."
"I've had it with your career," she said simply. "And honestly, I don't even know who you are anymore. Where did the real you go?"
"What are you talking about, Lauren?"
"I can't do this anymore. You can go out with all those girls and not worry about it affecting me…not that I think you ever thought about me in the first place…because I'm through with everything. When you come back home, I won't be here."
"What?"
"Goodbye," she said, hanging up the phone.
Of course as soon as she hung up, she regretted saying those things, and she wanted to call him back and beg him to come home, but she knew she couldn't do that. Waiting around on Steven had ruined her life, and she couldn't do it anymore.
And, just like she had told him, she wasn't there when he came back in the summer after the Lightning's season had ended. He had expected to go to her apartment, quickly talk things out with her and have their summer relationship go back to normal.
But, when he knocked on her door, he found a newlywed couple living there instead. And, he realized that she hadn't been lying when she told him she wasn't going to be there. He sat down on the floor outside of the apartment actually saddened. And for the first time, he was now feeling what Lauren had felt for the last two years: disappointed and, in one word, miserable.