Take My ***ing Hand

I found myself sitting in a clearing. There was a small opening of trees that I decided would be an acceptable place to sit and feel sorry for myself think. It. Was beginning to get cold and windy, but being as stubborn as I was, I wasn't going back to the campsite. It doesn't matter if it starts snowing. It has nothing to do with the fact that I might be lost.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and just sat there. My tears were gone, and all I had left to do was sit and hope and pray that my dad would come find me and take me home.

I groaned in frustration when I felt rain drops hit the back of my neck.

Brendon's POV

I don't know what that kids problem is. He started crying and ran off because I kissed him?

He's been gone for hours now, and it's starting to rain. I should go find him.

Not that I care or anything.

I just don't want to be stuck here all alone. It gets scary. Especially at night.

I decided I should start looking for him before it gets dark. That stubborn kid better not have gone and got himself killed.

I headed off in the direction Ryan went, calling out his name.

~*~

Eventually, and I'm not sure how, I stumbled into a clearing, where a scrawny boy sat, knees pulled up to his chest, face hidden. There were droplets of water visible on his grey hood.

I finally fucking found him.

How could he not have heard me calling him?

Oh he probably did. He's just refusing to respond.

"Ryan? God damn it. There you are!" I exclaimed. He didn't move.

Oh shit. He better not be dead.

I slowly inched closer to him, picking up a stick along the way.

Once I got close enough, I poked him with the stick. His head snapped up, as if he was startled by his being poked.

He must have fallen asleep.

His look of surprise turned into a glare when he spotted me.

He grabbed the stick and tossed it, scrambling to his feet.

"I came out here to get away from you, not so that you could follow me." he growled before beginning to storm off in the other direction.

"Wait!" I exclaimed, grabbing his arm before he could get much further. "Are you crazy? I don't care how pissed you are at me, going out there by yourself is stupid!" I said.

He tried to pull his arm from my grasp, but I held on tighter.

"Stop calling me fucking stupid!" he exclaimed, still desperately trying to yank his arm free. "I'll do whatever the fuck I want!" he added.

"No! Listen, Ryan stop!" I said, trying to get him to stop so I could talk some sense into him. At this point, I didn't even care about trying to get with him anymore. I just wanted him to calm down and come back to the campsite. He was acting like a lunatic.

"Stop?! You want me to stop?!" he exclaimed. He then used his other hand to punch my arm, causing me to let go because it hurt. He then turned to face me. He looked so pissed I swear his head was about to spin around while smoke came out his ears.

"Why should I huh? Why should I listen to you when you ask me to stop? I've been asking you to stop for three fucking years. And have you? No! You did just the opposite! I was fucking open with you. I told you why I was such a dick to you. And you still wouldn't fucking stop!" he exclaimed. I've never seen him this angry. He was even flailing his arms around in the air. I was almost afraid of him.

Was this really the reason he was so pissed at me? Because I wouldn't leave him alone? Did something in that head of his finally snap?

He wouldn't be this freaked out about me kissing him if the only reason was because he didn't like me.

Maybe…

Maybe his problem is that I was right, and he is attracted to me, but he's just too stubborn.

But then again, that's not something that would make a kid cry. Especially him.

Then I remembered what he told me before about how he didn't want to get hurt. But how could he get hurt if there's not emotional attachment to begin with?

Oh shit.

What if he likes me? Like, like-likes me?

But he doesn't want to.

Because I'm an ass hole and a whore.

And he doesn't want to get hurt, so he pushes away.

But I keep pressuring and pushing at him.

God. Now guess who feels like an ass.

I would hate me too if I were him.

It seriously took me this long to figure this out?

I stood there and stared at him like an idiot while all this ran through my mind.

Meanwhile, he stormed off into the trees.

"Ryan! Wait!" I began to chase after him, but then he started running. "Ryan!" I called after him.

"Leave me alone!" he called back.

I continued to run after him at full speed.

Out of nowhere he stopped dead in his tracks.

About a centimeter or two from the tip of his toe was a huge drop. Possible fifty or so feet. Unfortunately I didn't know this at the time. So being unprepared for his sudden stop, I slammed into him, pushing him over the edge.