Take My ***ing Hand

That night, Brendon had insisted that I sleep with him on his bed, rather then the tiny uncomfortable couch. I accepted the offer just because my emotional distress insisted on some form of close presence from another person, and Brendon really was the perfect candidate, even if I had completely humiliated myself the day before.

He held me all night while I slept, in a caring comforting way, and it only reminded me that he had in fact changed, and I was an idiot for thinking otherwise.

If he hadn't changed, he wouldn't have stopped me last night. He would have let me hurt myself, then he wouldn't have comforted me and took care of me like he did. This isn't the Brendon Urie I knew six months ago. I'm not sure what happened, but I'm not going to question it anymore.

I did wake up to an empty bed however, and wondered for a second before glancing at the clock and realizing that it was 3:30 in the afternoon.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and made my way down the stairs, still not fully awake.

Brendon sat at the table sipping orange juice as his mother sat a plate down in front of him. He took sight of me, caught my eye, and smiled.

"Oh hey honey, would you like something to eat? It's a little late for lunch, but I can make you a sandwhich or something anyway." Mrs. Urie offered graciously.

"Uh, sure." I accepted, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Alright, is tuna okay?" She asked. I nodded and thanked her.

"It's no problem. did you sleep alright last night?" She asked.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks again for letting me stay here." I said, sitting down across from Brendon.

"Any time sweetie." she said before turning back to the counter and preparing the sandwhich.

"Feeling better?" Brendon asked. I nodded, not meeting his eye. I felt better I guess. Then again, I still wasn't quite awake, so who knew how'd I feel in a couple hours.

"Good." He said. "So what did you want to do today? We can just hang out if you want. I hear there's some good movies playing... I'll let you decide when you're more awake." He said with a smirk, taking in my tired expression.

I nodded, and he nudged me with his foot under the table.

"Alright, I have to leave for work in about twenty minutes, you guys behave while I'm gone okay?" Mrs. Urie announced.

"Alright mom." he said, before she turned and headed upstairs.

Once she was out of sight, he leaned over and whispered, "How does a movie, Romantic dinner, and a stroll through through the park sound?" he offered, grabbing my hand.

"It sounds like you had this all planned out." I smirked.

"Well, what do you say? A romantic evening, no?"

"It sounds like you're buttering me up, or trying to destract me." I said.

"Okay, well you lost your chance, I'm making the choice for you. You don't get a say, sorry."

I play fully rolled my eyes. "Well, I don't have any money with me." I said.

"I'll pay. Now go get freshened up dear, I'll wait here." he ordered.

~*~

Brendon's attempts at destraction proved to be quite successful. The evening turned out to be everything he promised. A little movie make out time, a nice romantic dinner at the local Subway, followed be a night stroll through the park. It was almost amusing how movie like it was. A few weeks ago I would have laughed at the idea of Urie doing somethng thoughtful, especially if that something was a romantic gesture for his new boyfriend.

But here we are, walking back towards the car hand in hand.

I'd gone almost the entire day without thinking about my father, or last night's incident, so I was in a fairly good mood when we returned to his house.

Once inside, I took sight of Mrs. Urie having an intense conversation with someone sitting opposite her.

That someone just had to be my father of course.

I froze in the doorway, and Brendon held the same worried expression as his mother.

He met my eye, expressionless, as Mrs. Urie turned to us.

"Hey Ryan," She said.

"Hey Ryan." My dad said. "Could you give us a sec?" he asked Mrs. Urie.

"Of course." She said. "Come one Brendon." She beckoned him to follow.

"No Brendon can stay." I said, resisting the urge to hold onto his hand. "Anything you have to say, you can say infront of them." I mumbled, trying to avoid his eye.

Brendon kept his gaze on the floor, and Mrs. Urie left the room anyway, probably feeling it better to leave than to stand there awkwardly.

He sighed before speaking. "Ryan, look I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about what happened. I don't know what came over me. I was drunk, and stupid, and I hate myself because of it. I promise it wont happen again. Will you come back home please?"

I stared at the carpet, resisting the urge to cry. Shit. "You have a problem, dad. You need help." I mumbled.

"I know, I know." He said. "I'm working on it. I got rid of all the alcohol in the house, and I have an AA meeting on Monday."

I looked up at him in surprise. "Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. Ryan, you're..." He broke off, voice craking, holding back tears. "You're all I have left. I can't loose you."

I wiped a tear or two from my face before nodding. "Okay." I Said. "I'll come home, after your first meeting."