Take My ***ing Hand

It was getting close to dark, and we still hadn't managed to find any type of spring or water source. I would like to say that through out the journey there was nothing but awkward silence between Brendon and myself, but really he's just been bitching the whole time. "My feet hurt." "I'm thirsty." "My belly is fucking cold." 

"Ryan, it's getting fucking cold out here, and this shirt isn't helping." he said gesturing to his bare mid drift. 

"Well would you rather have your arm rot and fall off?" I spit back obviously annoyed. But then again, when wasn't I annoyed with Brendon? I got no reply, proving that I was right. 

We continued walking and I noticed him constantly trying to pull his shirt down so it covered his belly, but it just slid back up… exposing the flat slightly tanned planes of his muscular lower torso. It was then that I noticed just exactly how tight his pant were, and how they rested on hisperfect reasonably sizedass hips.

Suddenly I pictured him lying on top of me, my hands tracing the planes of his chest and sliding down past his hips…

Okay stop it mind. You don't have to be having these thoughts. Especially if they're about a certain self absorbed ass-hole. 

Why would I even be having these thoughts about him to behind with?

Okay fine. I admit his kindaextremely hot.

But he's still a total dick and I can't stand to be around him. 

Besides, that's the only reason he has so many fuck buddies. 

Because he's so hot…

"It's getting dark." Brendon mumbled pulling me from my thoughts. 

"What do you want me to do about it?" Okay, so sometimes with Brendon, automatic bitchiness is a knee jerk reaction. I don't always mean to be so bitchy... It's just hard to control myself around him. 

"Back off Ross. I was just saying that maybe we should find a place to settle down for the night. Now quite PMSing and let's find somewhere to sleep." He said sticking his foot out purposefully tripping me. 

He laughed and held out a hand to help me off the ground, which I slapped away, pulling myself to my feet and sending him the worst death glare I could manage. He continued to laugh as I stormed passed him.

~*~

It took all of about fifteen minutes to find a reasonable shelter. And by reasonable I mean, we won't get eaten by a bear if were lucky, and possibly we won't get wet if it rains.

It was almost like a little cave, but not quite. It was on the side of a huge rock/mountain. About maybe four feet off the ground, part of the rock stuck out creating a nice roof type thing. On one side there was a huge type of plant creating a wind block. On the other side sat a pile of rocks creating a nice shelter.

It would be an okay place to sleep. Protection From rain and what-not. It had a length of about six feet. I guess There was enough room for two . . .

"I guess this will be fine for now." I mumbled to him.

"Yeah, whatever. I just need to get out of this wind." he grumbled as he crawled into the hole type thing. "I just hope this doesn't belong to some sort of rabid animal. I don't need my face getting torn off any time soon."

I sighed and crawled in myself. Both of us on opposite sides of the den. It was freezing cold by now, and i was shaking through my thin little hoodie and t-shirt.

I wasn't quite ready to sleep, so I pulled out my camera and began playing with it a little. I loved this thing. My mom bought it for me a couple years ago before she died. It was fairly large, but good quality. It was definitely my favorite thing in the world. I began looking through some of my recent pictures. The last one I took was of the pretty clearing at the airport just before all this crap that's happened. Before that one was a picture of Spence and Vicky acting like the dorks they are. It brought a small smile to my face. I missed them. I missed my dad and my home. But most of all I missed the comfort and safety of my room. The walls covered with posters ranging from The Beatles to My Chemical Romance. The floor that always seemed to be littered with clothes or trash of some kind, and my guitar that sat nicely in the corner, just waiting to be played.

Next was a picture of my dad, trying and failing to hide from the camera. It brought another smile to my face.

"H-Hey R-Ryan?" I looked over and had to squint because it was almost pitch black. Even in the darkness I could see him shivering.

"Yeah?" I asked kind of surprised by the niceness in his voice.

"Um, t-this is g-going to s-sound stupid," I raised my eyebrow, but he couldn't see it so it was pointless. "Y-You know w-what they say about how the easiest way t-t-to get w-warm is to sh-sh-share body heat?"

"Uh . . ." Was all i could manage. Was he really suggesting . . .?

"Um, I am really freezing over h-here. L-like seriously. Do y-you th-think maybe . . . ?" He trailed off.

Was he serious? This had to be a joke. I looked over and in the dim light he was still shaking. Possibly harder then before. 

I was slightly dumbfounded, so it took me a minute to form an actual sentence.

"I-I guess?" I blinked a few times and there was a minute of awkward silence. "But you have to come over here. I'm not moving." I negotiated. Part of me wondered if he really was serious. 

I heard shuffling and more shuffling. "W-Where are you?" I was about to speak when a hand collided with my face. Then suddenly there was another hand on the side of my head. He continued to feel up my face. 

"B-Bren..Brendon!"

"Is that you?" he asked. I used my camera to add the tiniest bit of light to illuminate my face. 

"No shit Sherlock." I grumbled. 

"Uh, sorry." he apologized. Wait... Apologized? 

I felt him sit down next to me, and I curled up on my side facing away from him. I felt him lay down next to me and let out a breath. 

"You know it might work better if you face this way." he suggested. I was too tired to argue, so I let out a sigh and turned towards him. Suddenly he reached out and pulled me tight against his chest. "You also kind of have to be close." he said like he was talking to and idiot. I wanted to respond with a good comeback, but I was just too tired. So I ignored him and just sort of melted into his warmth. I could tell that he did the same. It was also fairly comfortable, despite the fact that I was laying on twigs and pine needles. His arm rested under my head like a pillow, and one of my arms was curled up to my chest while the other was wrapped around his waist. His free arm wrapped around my waist and his chin rested on top of my head. Even though I was taller.

Soon I found myself drifting into unconsciousness, a lot more tired then I thought I was. 

~*~

I sat on my couch writing in my journal like most normal nights, when suddenly there was a knock on the door. I got up to answer it, and there stood Brendon. He was dressed in a tux with a red bow tie holding a bouquet of red roses. 

How cliche. 

I smiled and invited him in grabbing the flowers as I did so. I set the flowers down on the table and joined him sitting on the couch. 

He smelled like cologne and red bull. 

He grabbed my hand as I sat down and laced our fingers together. He turned to face me and looked straight into my eyes. We soon found ourselves leaning closer and closer, until he gently grabbed my face and pressed my lips to his in a light sweet manner. No tongue. Nothing lustful. Just a sweet passionate kiss. 

He pulled away, and held my gaze as he whispered quietly. 

"I love you Ryan Ross, I will always love you."

~*~ 

My eyes fluttered open and I felt unusually happy. It was light outside and I felt like skipping around in circles throwing rose petals in the air. 

What the fuck?

I then remembered my dream and my jaw nearly dropped. The happy feeling I had, gone. Now it was sheer embarrassment. 

The lack of food and water must be going to my head, because that was by far the weirdest dream I've ever had. I noticed Brendon was still holding on to me, only now he was on his back and my head was resting on his chest. I glanced up to see that he was still sleeping. He looked kind of... Peaceful. Innocent. 

Looking at him made my heart flutter. 

Wait... What? 

It was the same feeling I experienced in my dream. It felt like I was the happiest/luckiest person alive and all I wanted was him to hold me in his arms. To whisper "I love you" in the same sweet whisper only meant for me. 

No. I'm going crazy. 

That goes against everything I've thought about him since day one. 

It's just the dream. The dream has me in a bit of a confused daze. That doesn't mean anything has changed. In a couple hours I would have forgotten all about it and things will be back to normal. 

The Brendon in my dream was fictional. There's no way he could be that sweet. Or caring. 

It was just a weird dream that's all.