A City of Fools

Eli tossed her books on the desk she dubbed as her own in study hall before sitting down. Pulling out a notebook and her favorite purple pen, she started working on her first paper about Alex. He wasn't going to cooperate, she knew that. But what were the chances that Mr. Torres knew all of Alex's story? She could easily tweak parts of it and write about what she did know and exaggerate the rest. It wasn't the smartest idea but she refused to have her grades drop because of him.

Alex slouched down in the seat next to her, propping his legs up on his desk. “How's your paper going?”

Eli sent him a glare through her peripheral. “Wonderful, considering my partner refuses to tell me anything.”

Alex smiled softly. “You didn't ask.”

Eli sighed. “What's your story?”

“Nope. Not telling,” Alex told her, shaking his head.

Eli rolled her eyes. “Not surprising.”

Alex laughed.

“Shut up,” she muttered before going back to working on her paper. She scribbled down a few more sentences before she felt Alex shaking her shoulder.

“Hey! Hey!” Alex whispered loudly, switching between shaking her shoulder and poking her ribs.

“What the hell do you want?” Eli asked, keeping her voice barely above a whisper. She spared a glance for the study hall instructor who was sending the two of them a glare.

“What's up?”

“I hate you,” Eli muttered before going back to writing on her paper.

Alex smiled. “Hey, Eli!” he whispered again, moving his feet from the desk and leaning over to tap her on the shoulder again.

“What do you want?” she asked again, through her teeth. Her knuckles were about to turn white from how hard she was gripping her pen; she was definitely not in the mood to deal with his attitude. She looked over towards him, surprised to see he was leaning so close, and she subconsciously leaned back a little bit.

“How did Gabe do it?” he asked, the teasing tone that was in his voice previously had vanished.

Eli's pen dropped out of her fingers and she would later blame it on sweaty palms, she wouldn't admit that it was due to her stomach dropping at the memory of that one moment in time she tried to forget. “Wh-What?”

Alex rested his elbows on his knees and leaned a little closer, ensuring that no one else was eavesdropping on their conversation. “How did he do it?”

“I... Well,” Eli stuttered, shaking her head. “I mean. I don't really want to talk about this,”

“We have to. For the paper,” Alex said. “I mean, you want the top grade, right?”

Eli bit her lip. “I thought you didn't care about the paper,” she commented.

Alex shrugged. “Then forget about the paper. We can talk as...friends,” he suggested.

Eli scoffed loudly. “Friends? We're not friends.”

“Yeah, I almost choked on that one as well,” Alex said, smiling.

Eli laughed, just barely. “I wasn't aware that you had jokes, Gaskarth.”

“You're not aware of a lot of things I possess, Carter,”

Eli's eyes narrowed at that comment and she didn't miss the subtle way his eyes softened towards her. “That's possible,” she said softly. It took her a minute but she finally looked away from his deep brown eyes and back to her paper, scribbling down a couple more sentences.

“Eli.”

Eli sighed. “He shot himself, okay?”

Alex's eyes closed briefly as he shook his head. “Oh, my God.”

“And I heard him do it,” she told him. “Can you imagine? Walking into the house just in time to hear your brother shoot himself in the head?”

“I can't,” he told her. “I only found Daniel afterwards.”

Eli sighed, bringing up her hands to wipe away the stray tears on her cheeks. “Who's Daniel?”

Alex paused.

She knew it was the wrong question to ask the minute the words slipped from her tongue. Alex's eyes hardened instantly and he sat back, putting a good two feet of distance between them. He grabbed his books in his hands and stood up before walking out of the study hall room. Eli cursed under her breath and slammed her notebook shut, her pen falling next to it before rolling on the floor. She rolled her eyes before she leaned over to grab her pen. She didn't know who Daniel was and she didn't know how she was going to finish her paper.

But she did know one thing.

Alex Gaskarth was a lost cause.

+

“He's never going to fucking tell me anything, Ren,” Eli complained as she and Lauren walked out to the parking lot after school.

Lauren shrugged. “I don't know what you're gonna do, Eli. Are you going to come to practice or not?”

Eli sighed, waving off the question with her hand. “Could you get information out of Jack for me? I think that's the only way I'm ever going to get any of this shit done.”

“I can't do that, Eli,” Lauren told her. “There's a Bro Code, you know?”

“Damn that Bro Code,” she said, frowning. Her frown deepened when she saw Jack and Alex walking over to them.

“Hey, Jack,” Lauren greeted as she kissed her boyfriend quickly.

“Hey, boo, what's up?” Jack asked.

Lauren rolled her eyes before flicking her finger on the top of his hat. “I don't know why you wear it to the side—you're no gangster.”

Jack scoffed. “Don't hate,” he told her. “I heard someone cursing the Bro Code.”

“That was me,” Eli said, holding a hand up.

“You don't diss on the Bro Code,” Jack said.

“Well, then maybe your bro shouldn't be so difficult,” Eli snapped.

Jack shrugged. “I don't control Alex. No one does.”

Alex stood there quietly, arms crossed over his chest, his backpack slung over his shoulder. He had pulled his hood over his head and just stared at Eli, refusing to break eye contact when she looked over at him. He nodded his head towards the left before walking way, hoping she would get the clue to follow him.

Eli bit her lip before looking over at Jack and Lauren, who collectively motioned for her to follow him. She rolled her eyes before sighing and following him. She followed him out of the parking lot and onto the sidewalk. She pulled her sunglasses out of her bag before putting them on, the bright Baltimore sun was almost too much at three on a Monday afternoon. She didn't question him as he led her down a road she wasn't familiar with, and she didn't question him when he made a pit stop at a Speedway to grab a forty-four-ounce Coke Iee, but when he sat down on the sidewalk in the shade, she had to say something.

“What's going on?” she asked after a brief period of silence.

Alex shrugged before holding out the Icee for her. “Do you want some?”

She shook her head. “No, thank you. I would, however, like some answers.”

“To what questions?” Alex asked before taking another drink of his beverage.

Eli sighed. “What are we doing? Why did you bring me here?”

“You didn't have to follow me,” Alex told her.

“Okay, now I'm starting to get agitated,” she muttered, running her hands over her hair. “What is going on?”

“You didn't have to follow me,” he repeated.

“I was hoping to get answers. So I could finish my damn paper,” she told him. “But it's clear that's not going to happen.”

“Not yet,” Alex told her.

She rolled her eyes. “What's that supposed to mean?”

Alex shrugged, taking another drink of his Icee. “This subject...is very hard for me to talk about,” he told her. “So, honestly? I'd take whatever I give you and just run with it. Because you're not going to get much. I don't even talk about it with Jack and he's my best friend. So I won't be saying much because I'm not comfortable with you,” he explained.

“Well,” she started, taking a deep breath, “thank you for being honest.”

“You don't have to act so surprised. I'm many things but I'm not a liar,” he said.

“I never said you were a liar, Gaskarth,” Eli told him, growing annoyed. “I'm sorry that I'm not used to having a normal conversation with you.”

Alex smiled softly. “You know, I never would have guessed that you could get so mean. I thought cheerleaders were supposed to be nice.”

Eli froze. “Oh my God.”

“What?” Alex asked, looking over at her.

“I'm a cheerleader.”

“Yeah, and...?”

“I haven't gone to practice since Gabe died,” she said softly. “They're gonna kick me off the squad, shit! I have to talk to the coach—“

“Wait, wait, wait,” Alex said, shaking his head. “You actually liked being a cheerleader?”

Eli paused. “Well, no, but—“

“So why are you going to talk to the coach so you stay on the squad?”

“Well, I—I mean, it's... Ugh, you wouldn't understand, Gaskarth,” she told him.

“You're right. I don't do things that I don't want to do,” he said. “You don't look like you love it when you're out there.”

Eli rolled her eyes, standing up. “Yeah, right, like you've actually been to any of the games.”

“I've been to the games. And yes, before Jack was on the team,” he added before she could interrupt. “You've always looked...miserable. Like there are thirty other places you'd rather be.”

“Well...” she trailed off, unsure of what to say. “There might be a few others places I'd rather be but it's not like it's the worst thing on earth.”

“Do you love it?”

Eli paused.

“Don't do it, then,” Alex told her, grabbing her arm and pulling her back down onto the cement next to him.

“But—“

“Jesus Christ, Eli, be a rebel and do what you want to do for once. You're not crazy about cheerleading so just don't do it anymore,” he told her, shrugging. “It's the most simple decision in the world.”

Eli sighed. “Maybe for you.”

“What's the supposed to mean?”

“Your parents must not have any sort of expectations for you at all,” she muttered, frowning. She yanked her arm out of his grasp and crossed hers over her chest.

“For my parents, the fact that I'm alive has surpassed all of their expectations,” he told her softly. “So don't make assumptions about my family or my home.”

“Fair enough,” Eli commented.

Alex sighed, setting his drink aside. “Tell me about Gabe. I only know what I heard.”

“Yeah? And what did you hear about my brother?”

“That he was gay.”

“He was,” Eli said. “And it's not a disease.”

“I never said it was,” Alex told her. “Unfortunately, not everyone thinks the same way I do. So.”

“So?” Eli asked.

“Tell me more about him.”

“Why are you so interested all of a sudden?”

Alex shrugged. “I don't really have a choice in this paper, do I? Might as well try.”

That simple sentence actually managed to bring a smile to Eli's face. “Does that mean you're gonna give me the little details of you life?”

“Not yet. Now. Tell me about Gabe. What was he like?”