It's Not Faith

Leila was sitting watching her father in the small vocals booth. Jimmy was perched on the back of the couch, braiding her hair, and pulling it.
"Ow, fuckhead, stop it!" She cried. As Jimmy pulled a lock of hair.
"But I'm trying to braid! I don't know how!" He cried.
She couldn't help but laugh at the tall man. These five men, including her father, were really just a bunch of teenagers. Zacky kept making noises as he practiced his part on guitar; Johnny had thrown a carrot at Jimmy which had resulted in a huge vegetable war, Brian had wandered off to "find somewhere to nap", and her father kept laughing too much to record anything.
"If I was working with you, I would have kicked you all in the ass!" Leila cried, pulling her hair away from Jimmy's hand.
"Hey, I wasn't finished!" He cried.
"But I am!" She said, and moved closer to Zacky.
Zacky smiled, and wrapped his arm around her.
"See, She doesn't like you."
"Fuck off shit head, she so fucking does!"
Leila could only laugh at the men.
"So I heard about your paaarty last night!" Zacky said, laughing.
Leila grinned, and nodded. "Yep, It was crazy I fucking did a like a crack off some girls ass and then we fucking took off all our clothes and fucking jumped in this pool and then I had to run without a shirt on 'cause the cops were coming!"
Leila could barely hold in her laughter as the entire recording studio went silent.
She could feel Jimmy shaking with laughter; he, of course, knowing the truth.
"Oh, shit, did I say loudly?" Leila said dramatically.
Matt had moved to the door of the vocal booth; Leila didn't want him to freak out.
"Dude, I'm fucking joking."
Jimmy burst out laughing.
"Oh, Jesus, Matt, your fucking face!" Jimmy cried, clutching his side.
Matt was still standing there; hand on the door handle; door half open.
Zacky, Johnny and Leila had joined Jimmy's loud laughter; but Leila still kept her eye on Matt, waiting for a reaction. Finally, she got the one she was looking for. His face broke out into a huge grin, and he came fully out of the vocal booth.
"You fucking scared me!" He cried, and really starting to laugh.
Leila tossed his a lazy grin. "That is my goal as being your teenage daughter."
Teenage Daughter. Leila just let the words flow out of her mouth, and for once, they didn't feel awkward or strange.
She was pulled by her thoughts by loud chatter.
"A venti latte." Zacky said.
"Fucking girl!" Matt said, laughing
"Shut up!" Zacky cried, throwing a guitar pick at Matt.
"Come Leila, I'm going to Starbuuucks!" Jimmy cried, getting up, clearing the confusion in Leila's head about the conversation. He pulled at Leila's hand until she lazily stood up.
"Fuuck, Jimmy I'm so tired, Let me stay!" She complained, as he grabbed his wallet off of the table.
Jimmy only pulled her hand more, and she followed him lazily. They exited the recording studio, and Jimmy lead her to a black SUV.
"You guys drive too many SUV's" She cried, as she slid into the front seat.
"That's 'cause we're pimps." Jimmy calmly replied, and pulled out of the parking lot.
Leila laughed slightly, and leaned her head against the cool glass of the window.
"Are..Uhm, I just..Are you okay from last night?" Jimmy said, glancing over at her.
Leila sighed softly. The poor man was just trying to help her.
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, It's only a once in a while thing."
"Still, Leila, you need to be careful."
"I am, honestly!" She cried.
"Listen, Jimmy, I had to grow up a lot faster than normal kids. I've been going to parties since I was thirteen. I've smoked weed since I was twelve. I know how to take care of myself."
Jimmy let out a sigh. "But that's what I fucking hate! Why should you have to take care of yourself? You're not even sixteen yet, you deserve someone taking care of you!
"well shit just doesn't work out the way we all want it to, does it?" Leila replied, bitterly.
Silence filled the care, and Leila felt the tension fill the air. She didn't like being a bitch to Jimmy; after all, he was the one who she felt it was easiest to talk to.
Jimmy drove up to a Starbucks drive Thu, and the car sat for what seemed like hours.
"Can...Can, oh for fucks sake, Leila you're the only girl I think who has ever had me at a loss of words." Jimmy said, looking over at her.
Leila burst into laughter. "Well, I deserve a fucking trophy then. I can see it now, First girl to Make the Legend; the Rev, shut up!" She said, laughing harder.
Jimmy punched her lightly in the arm. "Can you imagine the mobs of people, running across the country, to kill you?!?!" He cried dramatically.
"What the fuck?!" Leila laughed. Jimmy shook his head, and they finally ordered their coffee.
"Oh, get me a Venti Extra hot non fat shot of espresso in a latte!"
Jimmy looked at her like she was crazy.
"That was more confusing than Val's drink." He said, laughing.
"I take it you go on coffee runs a lot?"
Jimmy pouted. "They always send meee!" He cried as he paid for their coffees.
Leila laughed, and they started their drive back to the studio.
"Okay, so before we got all side tracked; I wanted to ask you, If you...K I'm gonna do this without stuttering or anything!" He cried, smiling.
"I wanted to ask you if you cut yourself when you crashed from the coke."
Leila was shocked for a moment about Jimmy's bluntness, but then soon realized that Jimmy was blunt
"Yes." She replied, just as bluntly. She closed her yes, unsure of what would happen next.
She heard Jimmy sigh. "It hurts me so fucking much!" He cried, breaking the silence. This is what Leila hated. She hated the fact that she was hurting other people. That was all she seemed to be doing lately, being a burden on other peoples' lives.
:I'm sorry." She whispered.
"Oh, Hun, it's for sure, one hundred fucking percent, not your fault. I just hate seeing you hurting so much, that's all. It's not your fault."
Leila couldn't take it. "It is my fucking fault. I do this to myself! Does someone shove the razor into my wrist?! No, I fucking do! I fucking slice my own skin open! I'm the one telling myself to do it, I'm the one that's ugly, and fat and stupid and a fuck up, and It is all my fucking fault!" Leila lost her control of everything inside of her head. She lost control, and began to pull at her hair. She felt the car swerve to the side of the road and stop.
"Hey, Hey, none of that, stop!" Jimmy's hand reached out to her hand and gently lifted it from the lock of hair she was pulling. "Shh, Hun, Oh God, please stop!" Jimmy pleaded as she sobbed harder. Jimmy's arms were wrapped around her as best as they could in the car. Soon, her sobs became farther and farther apart.
"I'm so sorry" She hiccuped.
"I just kinda let it all out, I didn't mean to."
"Hun, that was probably the most healthiest thing you've done in a while. Keeping things bottled up wont help you."
Leila's breathing slowly returned to normal. "I'm okay, I'm fine now, Jimmy."
Jimmy pulled away.
"Come, the coffee is gonna get cold." She said, trying not to look the man in the eyes.
Jimmy turned the car back on, and pulled back onto the road. Leila sighed as she smudged her eyeliner that had ran down her face, off.
"There's some mascara in the glove box."
"That is one of the weirdest things you have ever said."
"What?! Leana always keeps a spare of everything where ever she goes!" He defended, laughing.
She pulled out the tube of mascara and fixed her make up.
"Thank you Jimmy."
"Hun, you're so welcome. But you don't have to thank me. I'm not gonna pry or ask what triggered you; but that will come in time. I just want you to know that I'm here, and right now, that's all I can do."
Leila let Jimmy's words sink in.
"I had my phone in my fucking hand. I had my fucking finger on number four, 'cause that's your speed dial. But no, I just couldn't fucking press the fucking button!" Leila cried out.
The car stopped, and Leila realized she would have to mask her distress; they were back at the recording studio.
"It'll come with time, soon you'll be able to press the button, love. You'll be okay."
Jimmy said, as they got out of the car. He wrapped his arms around her the second he could properly.
"You know we all love you; even short-shit! We all love you, we're all worried about you, we all want you to adjust to this life as best as you can, okay?"
Leila nodded into the tall mans chest.
They both headed into the studio; Jimmy's arm draped lazily over Leila's shoulder.