It's Not Faith

Leila could hear Jimmy and Leana talking quietly about her. She could hear the murmur of both their voices; and occasionally her name popped up; as well as Matt's and Val's. She didn't want to listen; she didn't want to hear what they were saying about her; what their opinions were. She was lying in bed; the clock told her that it was 3AM, and yet; all she could do was think.
Leila had fallen asleep before they even got to the pharmacy; and was not happy when Jimmy gently shook her in the parking lot of the 24 hour pharmacy. She shuffled into the store; and impatiently waited for them to fill her prescription. By the time she had gotten back into the car; she felt as if she hadn't slept for days. When she finally made it back to Jimmy's apartment; she was almost in a coma-like state; she didn't register Leana showing her to the guest room; or Jimmy coming and bringing her pills and some water. She hardly could recall now, what had happened at the hospital. And yet, Leila couldn't seem to sleep.
She could feel her body telling her that it needed sleep; but her mind kept racing. Memories flooded back; she couldn't stop it. Even with the nights events; and that fact that she was in Jimmy's house; she desperately wanted to cut herself. She heard Leana slightly raise her voice; and she cringed. She heard the soft patter of feet against the floor; and a door click shut.
Their most likely fighting about you. Look, you're making everyone upset. First your dad; then Leana and Jimmy. Who's next? Zacky? Val? Fuck.
Leila tried to shake the voice out of her head. She knew that she couldn't cut herself in Jimmy's house; that would be the worst. Instead; she threw back the covers and slipped out of the guest room. She could hear the soft hum of the TV, and she knew that one of them was up. She walked down the hall and found Jimmy sitting on the leather couch; staring into a TV show turned down low.
"I thought you were tired; kiddo." He said, and patted the couch beside him. Leila curled up beside him and leaned on him.
"I can't." She said, struggling to hold her tears in.
Jimmy wrapped his arm around her and held her close.
"I'm sorry that I caused such a mess." She whispered.
She felt Jimmy sigh, and shake his head.
"You didn't make a mess. Did you hear Leana yell? Is this what this is about?"
Leila nodded into Jimmy's chest.
"Leana isn't upset at you- she's upset at me. She wants me to tell Matt; she's just worried about you, and means well. But she didn't like that I'm keeping this from Matt; and she most certainly doesn't like that you're hurting so much that you have to cut yourself. But, Leila she isn't mad at you."
Jimmy's words brought little comfort to her. She still wanted to cut herself; and she still felt horrible. She tried for focus on the TV, realizing that Jimmy was watching children's cartoons. She let out a giggle.
"What?!" He asked, laughing.
"you're watching kid's shows."
Jimmy smiled. "So?"
Leila smiled back and curled up into Jimmy's tall frame. She felt comfort in his arms; in his apartment; in his world. She could forget her angry,bitter, evil world for a bit and just float in this mans fun, caring and loving world.

Leila woke with a start. She found herself head first into a soft black fabric. confused; she sat up and realized she was still on Jimmy's couch; a blanket was wrapped around her and a pillow was near her head. A soft clatter from the kitchen area told her that someone was awake. The clock over the TV glowed the numbers 1:45. The sun shone through the windows and Leila saw the beautiful view Huntington, and then the beautiful ocean, gleaning blue under the sun.

"Oh, good you're up!" She turned and faced Leana, who had a spatula in her hand.
"I'm making pancakes!" She cried, and pulled Leila up from the couch.
"You can shower in the guest washroom. I brought my blow drier and straightener in there too; so you're good to go!"
Leila smiled. "Thanks, Leana."

Leila showered and dried her hair. She threw on tights and a loose shirt; and headed out to the kitchen. Jimmy was sitting in the kitchen; head on the table, and Leana was dancing around with the spatula.
"Save me, Leila!" Jimmy cried, as Leana smacked him on the head with the spatula. Leila simply grinned and sat across from Jimmy. Leana put a plate filled with pancakes in front of her and Leila instantly felt her heart race.
Don't eat them. The voice whispered in her ear. She hated that her own thoughts would do this to her. Betray her.
betray you? I'm just simply looking out for you.
Oh, so now her thoughts had a fucking mid of their own.
"Eat Eat! Their so good! I am so good!" Leana said, tugging Leila from her thoughts.
Leila forced a smile; and slowly cut her pancakes. Jimmy was focusing on his finacé, which was a good thing for Leila; she took tiny bites of her pancakes and moved them around her plate.
"I think Val's moving into your house today." Jimmy said, taking a sip of coffee.
Leila smiled; she was happy for her father and Val. "That's good."
"I said I'd come help, so we should go soon."
Leila nodded, and brought her plate to the kitchen sink.
"That all you ate?" Leana said, concerned eyes looking at Leila.
Leila nodded. "I don't eat a lot in the mornings; makes me sick."
Leana frowned slightly; and nodded. Leila headed to the guest room and packed her stuff.

Jimmy's SUV turned the corner and Leila's house came into sight. She could see a number of black SUV's outside of the house; meaning that the some of the 'extended family' would be there. The car came to a halt; and Leila knew she would need to thank the amazing couple sitting in front of her.
"Uh- before you get out..." Leila began. Jimmy and Leana turned to her.
"I wanted to thank you guys for being so fucking amazing; and for supporting me."
Leana gave Leila a soft smile.
"Lovey, we'll always be here. We're gonna be the aunt and uncle who you always call!!"
"Yeah!" Jimmy cried; and high fived his finacé
Leila laughed, and followed the couple out of the SUV.