It's Not Faith

Leila smiled as the sun splashed across her bed. Her curtains were pulled back; most likely Val's doing; and the sun warmed her skin through the window. She could see the blue waves crashing of the ocean, crashing against the sandy beach. Today she felt different; she felt alive. She felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders; she felt free.
That is; until the stark white bandages caught her eye. And it all came crashing back. She felt guilty; she felt horrible. Leila leaned back into her pillows; and sighed. She pushed the negative thoughts into the back of her mind; and slipped out of bed. She could already tell it was already well into the day; she could hear voices downstairs; and through her window she could see that the sun was high, and the beach was crowded. She pulled on some shorts and a tank top; and fluffed her hair. She glanced at the cardigan slung over the chair; almost as if she was having a staring contest with it. Her hand itched to grab it and slid it over her exposed arms; but she knew that she might as well get comfortable with people knowing about her problem. So Leila left the cardigan hanging on her chair; and headed downstairs.
"LEILA!" Zacky's voice carried through the house; making Leila laugh as the grown man came rushing to the bottom of the stairs.
"We've been waiting for hours for you to wake up!" Jimmy cried; coming bhind Zacky.
"Come play video games!" Zacky cried; grabbing her hand and gently pulling her.
Leila laughed at the two grown men’s excitement. Jimmy smiled warming at her; and dissapered. She followed Zacky into the living room and sat down on the couch; crossing her legs and leaning into the cold leather. Zacky tossed her a controller and she began pressing buttons; way to fast to know what they were doing.
"You fail!" Zacky said, lightly pushing her. She laughed, and continued to shoot bullets all over the screen.
"Ew Leila's gonna beat Zacky!" Jimmy cried as he walked into the living room; a plate and drink in hand. He passed Leila the plate of food and cup of coffee.
"I made the food!" Zacky cried, pausing the game. Leila laughed and slowly began to cut her french toast. Jimmy took over her controller and Zacky and him soon began screaming throughout the game.
Three little white pills sat on the corner of her plate. Leila sighed; she knew that once her blood test came back; there was a very real possibility of taking more pills. She tossed all three of the pills into her mouth and took a sip of coffee. She noticed Jimmy watching her as she swallowed the pill. She opened her mouth wide; showing that the pills were no longer in her mouth.
"I didn't mean it like that!" Jimmy exclaimed.
She laughed. "I know, I'm just fucking with you, it's okay. I love pills!" She said, making Zacky laugh and Jimmy frown slightly before joining Zacky in the laughter.
"Where's Matt?" She asked; taking another long sip of coffee.
"Went out with Val for groceries and shit. He'll be back and then there's a meeting with management about tour and shit. But weeeeee get to stay here; and Matt has to go. And Brian. And short Shit."
Leila laughed. "Why them?"
"Cuz Matt has a kid..you...and Brian and Johnny lost rock paper scissors; and Jimmy and I didn't." Zacky said proudly.
Leila rolled her eyes. "You guys decide things by rock paper scissors?"
Jimmy gasped. "Yes! How dare you insult the very democratic ways of RPS!"
Leila laughed at her immature uncles; and leaned her head back. She picked at a fray in her bandages; thinking back to the night when it all happened. Jimmy poked her; causing her to jump.
"Wanna go shopping?" His eyes were filled with excitement.
"WE can cause shit!" Zacky cried; sitting down beside her.
"You guys are what, like thirty? And you want to fucking cause shit at a mall?"
Zacky and Jimmy looked at each other; grinned, and nodded. Leila laughed.
"Fuck yeah, Let me go get ready." Leila said, laughing and leaving the living room. She didn’t waste any time getting ready; quickly throwing on a new shirt and some make-up; grabbing her purse and her phone. Her phone flashed red with a message from Kyle. She had finally replied to his questioning text; simply telling him that she was fine and that there was just an accident. She smiled softly at Kyle’s “Good Morning” Text, and replied. She walked past her cardigan without a second thought; she would leave the house without a sweater; for the first time in ages.
“Ohhh, who ya texting?” Zacky ask; nudging Leila as they left her house into the California heat.
“Just this dude I know.”
“OH!” Jimmy squealed as they got in his SUV.
Leila rolled her eyes; knowing exactly where this was heading.
“Leila has a boyfriend, Leila has a boyfriend!” Zacky and Jimmy sang together as Jimmy pulled out of their driveway. Leila buried her head in her hands.
“You guys are freaks.”
“Hey you’re not wearing a sweater!” Zacky softly exclaimed. Jimmy glanced at her in the rear-view mirror. She looked down at her bandaged arms.
“I mean that in a nice way. Like, we’re proud of you.” Zacky said, making sure Leila didn’t feel embarrassed. Leila smiled and looked up. She shrugged slightly. “Everyone knows; it’s not like I have to hide it anymore…” She trailed.
“High Five Bitches!” Zacky cried; high fiving Jimmy and then leaning back to offer his palm to Leila. She giggled; and smacked her palm against his. The car turned into a large parking lot; and pulled to a stop. Zacky gave her a crazy grin, and hopped out of the car. She linked arms with Jimmy and Zacky and headed into the mall.

“You’ll never take me alive!” Leila screamed; watching out of the corner of her eye Jimmy shaking with laughter; as Zacky and her got hauled away by mall security. Zacky had thrown a book at her; causing her to chase him around the entire small book store. After being ‘kindly’ asked to leave; Zacky had followed Leila into the women’s change room; and ended up in a dress. Security was called to Macy’s and Jimmy had left before they could arrive, leaving them stranded in the Women’s change room in dresses. They were escorted out; and when Leila caught sight of Jimmy, sitting alone on a bench outside the store with a smirk on his face, she knew she had to make a scene for him.
“You whore you said you wouldn’t tell anyone I was a man!” Zacky screeched in a high-pitched voice. Leila pulled herself away from the security gaurds grip; but he held on tight. She screamed back at Zack a line of profanities until they reached a door marked “Security.”
She looked back before they entered the room, and saw Jimmy standing now closer to the office, smirk still playing on his lips. The security guards placed Zacky and Leila in chairs and sat down.
“Is there anyone we can call..to discuss this issue? Maybe a parent?” The officer said. Leila started laughing at the fact that Zacky was old enough to be a parent himself.
“Yeah, call 206 555 6869” Zacky said, reciting Jimmy’s cell phone number with a smirk forming on his lips.
“That’s our…dad…Mr. Sullivan.”
Leila couldn’t hold in her laughter anymore, and started to shake as the guard dialled Jimmy’s number.
She blocked out the conversation that the security guard had with Jimmy; thinking back to the event that happened barley half an hour ago.
“You’re…father said he’ll be here in about five minutes. Now, don’t the two of you understand mall etiquette? You two look like you’re both eighteen, you should know better than that.” The guard started.
Zacky and Leila both started shaking with laughter.
“We’re…so sorry!” She cried, laughing harder. Zacky nodded in agreement; unable to speak with all the laughing.
Suddenly; a knock brought everyone’s attention to Jimmy standing at the door; trying to keep his laughter in.
“My God, I am so sorry!” He dramatically exclaimed; sweeping the room with his arm.
“These things that I call children will be seriously punished for what they have done!” He cried; taking two large steps to stand in front of the security guard; who looked a little terrified.
“But I shall be the one doing that. Is that all for today; kind Sir?” Jimmy asked; raising his eyebrow at the guard.
“Uhm, well…Mr. Sullivan; we are banning…Jake and Samantha from this mall for a year. We’ll take their pictures up and if a guard recognizes them, there will be worst consequences.”
Jimmy nodded; “Sure suure, go ahead. Make sure you get a good one of this kid.” He said, putting is hand on Zacky. “He’ll try to get in again.”

“Jake and Samantha? What the fuck!” Jimmy cried; laughing as they headed to the car.
“What? We didn’t want to give them our real names!” Zacky defended.
“And I’m your father? What the fuck?! How did that douche bag think your fucking eighteen?” Jimmy said, punching Zacky lightly in the arm.
Leila laughed at the incidents that had happened in the mall. She left the mall empty handed; she wasn’t that upset, but she did want a few new shirts.
“Yeah, well now I can’t fucking shop at the mall anymore you dicks! I have clothes to buy you know!”
Zacky and Jimmy laughed at Leila as she stomped her foot and got in the car.
“Oh well, that just gives you an excuse to go to a better mall.”
“Yeah, but I can’t tell Matt about this! He’ll flip!”
“Naww, we’ll be fine.” Zacky said.
“Yeah, but you guys get to leave! I have to stay there!”
“I have a guest bedroom!” Zacky cried.
“So do I!” Jimmy exclaimed, giving Zacky another high five.
Leila rolled her eyes at the immature men in front of her, and laughed. The drive home was fast; soon they were in front of Leila’s house again. This time; another SUV was in the drive way.
“Your Daddy’s hooome!” Jimmy cried, as he stepped out of his car.
“Oh, Joy.” Leila sarcastically replied. She followed Jimmy and Zacky into the house, already hearing Jimmy start to explain their day.
“And then, fucking Zacky puts on a dress!” She heard Jimmy exclaim; sitting himself down in the kitchen as Val and Matt unpacked groceries.
Leila rolled her eyes at Jimmy’s dramatics, and slid into a seat beside him.
Her phone vibrating pulled Leila away from the conversation at the table.
Party tonight. Wanna come? The text from Kyle said. Leila smiled at the thought of a party. She could forget about everything and just let her body flow to the music.
“CAn I go out tonight?” She asked when Jimmy quieted down.
“With who?” Val asked, turning to her.
“Kyle, the guy from next door.”
“Where?” Her fathers “I’m your father” voice came into play.
“A party.”
“Don’t you think it’s a little too soon?” He asked, his voice slightly strained.
Leila frowned; knowing where this conversation was headed. “Too soon?” She questioned, although she knew exactly what her father was talking about.
“Well, I mean you did just get out of the hospital..” He trailed, trying avoid going into detail. Leila didn’t like it when her father got all father-figure. He had no right telling her what to do; he hadn’t told her what to do all her life.
“Well, I mean you just walked into my life.” She retorted.
“What?”
“Don’t think that you can tell me what to do, Matt.”
“Leila, I am your father-”
“Yeah, sure, you’re right about that. But you can’t. Tell. Me. What. To. Do.”
“Why not?” Her father replied.
It was as if Val and Jimmy and Zacky had all disappeared. In reality; they were all sitting quietly as the father and daughter bickered.
“You think that you fucking have the right to say anything about my life;but you don’t. Because maybe if you were in my life in the first place; I wouldn’t be like this.” She screeched.
Leila turned on her heel and headed upstairs. She hated how great days could get ruined so fast.
Too bad you’re the one ruining it for everyone.
Even thought she walked away from everyone; she could never walk away from the voice inside her own head.