It's Not Faith

Leila tried to hold back tears as she waved to the four, large and tattooed men. She was standing in the "departures" section of the airport, with Val, Michelle, Leana, Gena and Lacey. The ladies have been through the good-byes a thousand times; to Leila, this was all new. She didn't want to cry like a dumbass, but she really, really didn't like her father leaving her for a large portion of the year. She was allowed to come out for her birthday for four days, and the boys would be home for Christmas for a few days, and then it would be nothing until Spring Break. She sighed, but her sixteenth birthday was in a few weeks, so she would hopefully get to see everyone soon.
"c'mon hun, Let's go out for coffee with the girls, k?" Val said, lightly grabbing Leila's hand. Leila followed Val and the girls out of the airport, and back into their giant SUV.

Leila sighed as she fell backwards on her bed. She was physically and mentally exhausted. After her coffee date with the girls, Val had dropped her off at her therapy appointment. She hadn't want to go, but in a way she felt better going. She explained to her doctor how she felt after her father left, how she cut herself the night of the party and skipped ther therapy session that week.
"Why did you cut yourself on a night that's supposted to be fun?" Her therapist asked, looking Leila in the eyes as she frowned slightly. "I don't have a clue. It just...everything was building up inside of me and it hurt. And everyone was so happy, and I wasn't." "Everyone feels like that sometimes, Leila. You just have to realize that it's not worth cutting yourself over."

Leila sighed as she pushed the memory of her therapy session to the back of her mind. She didn't want to remeber all the bullshit her therapist fed her. She still hurt and she knew it would never leave her. She missed her father and the guys already. She wanted to sleep forever and never have to wake up and go to school, or deal with therapy, and pills, and cutting. She wanted to leave everythign behind. But she knew she couldn't do that, not right now. She couldn't leave Val to clean up that mess. It would just have to wait. She closed her eyes and gently shook her head to try and get rid of all the thoughts of ending her life.

"Leila. Leila, hun, It's 8. Time for school." Val said, shaking Leila from her dream-filled sleep. She had been up half the night with nightmares, and had just fallen asleep at six. "Val, I'm exhausted." She half-whispered. "Leila, I'm sorry, but you've missed so much school, and I know you don't want to go to summer school!" As Val started to walk out her door, Leila found ehr voice to tell the truth. "I had...I had mightmares." Val turned around slowly, and sighed. "I'll write you a note. You can miss first period, but I want you there for second, okay? Go back to sleep, I'll wake you up in an hour." Leila smiled, and lay back onto her bed.

The hallway was crowded and noisy. Kyle had texted her to meet her in second period, but she had gotten to school during the middle of second period, and decided to just skip teh rest, and smoke outside. "Leila!" Kyle called, as she wandered through the hallway, with teh sea of people headed towards their third period. She Hugged Kule, and headed off to their third period. "So your dad's gone, eh?" Kyle whispered, as they took their seats at the back of the class. Leila nodded. She liked how Kyle had already known who his neighbour was, before she was there, so when she mentioned him as her dad, he didn't freak out. Leila sighed as the teacher began talking, and drowned out all the voices around her.