Right Girl

“Hey Ross! Is John here?” I asked as I walked into the O’callaghan’s living room.

“Nope. I think he’s at band practice.” He said as he followed me.

“Oh well I guess I’ll just hang with you until he comes back.” I told him pretending to not want to.

“Gee thanks. It feels great to know I’m your second choice.” He joked back. “Are you hungry? I was just about to eat lunch.”

“No, thanks though. But I’ll watch you.” I smiled as he led the way to the kitchen.

“So, tell me what’s been going on with you?”

“You know just chilling with my boys.”

“Ok cut the crap dude. I saw you with a girl, who is she?”

“Hey! I can have girl friends they don’t have to be girlfriends.” I gave him a look. “Ok fine. Her name is Jessica. She’s tall thin and pretty. She’s really smart and funny and she likes cars and I really like her. She’s so sweet and kind.”

“Aww. That is so cute. I am so happy for you!” I gushed.

“They don’t know yet. John and Shane. Mom saw me and I think she knows and told dad but I’m not sure.” He told me.

“Oh, are you going to tell them?”

“Well, yeah. I want to. I really like her. I just…don’t know how. ” He confided. “I mean they know I’ve had other girlfriends but this time it’s different. I want it to be different she’s special and I want them to like her.”

“You know what you should do you should bring to dinner!” I suggested. “I know, we could all have dinner at my house. I’ll cook and everything. It’ll be fun and this way it won’t be so awkward. I’ll be there and maybe we could invite the rest of the guys.”

“That sounds really good actually…I think.”

“It is, now we’ll do it on Friday so you have a couple days to I dunno be the secret couple you are.”

Soon after, Jenny came back from the grocery. As we helped her unload, Ross and I tried to tell her about dinner while still keeping the air light. About an hour later Ross left and Shane came home with his dad.

“So do you want to help me with dinner?” Jenny asked as she got up.

“Yea! I would love to.” I followed her into the kitchen. “What are we making?”

“Well, I was planning on making roast pork with maybe some corn or spinach. ” She told me.

“Ok cool. Do you want me to go see if Shane wants to help?”

“Sure, why not? Make this a family affair.” She laughed and soon enough Shane and John the IV were in the kitchen as well.

As I watched Shane set the table, I could not help but feel a sort of longing. I knew, watching the O’Callaghan family bond even if not the whole family, that this would be my dream. I wanted to live this way. I wanted to have kids who wouldn’t mind cooking with me. I wanted to be able to spend some summer evenings in the safeness of the air-conditioned house. I wanted to be able to laugh at things with someone who could love me for everything I am. But I was scared.

It was a scary thought, the future. Nothing is ever certain. Nothing ever stays the same forever. We all grow up and change. And sometimes we lose ourselves but if your surrounded with people who care, I guess sometimes you can find yourself again.

I almost started thinking of that fateful night before I was pulled out of my thoughts.

“Tori? Anybody in there?” Shane asked waving his hand manically.

“Yeah. What’s up?” I looked at him as I shook the feeling off.

“The pie’s ready. Can you pull it out please?”

“Sure.”

“Momma! Rex is staying for dinner.” I heard John call as he walked through the house.

“So anyway, that song was sick man. Too bad the album’s done already.” I heard Rex say.

“I know man. We’ll probably play it on tour or something.” John replied as they reached the kitchen. I made a sign to Shane to stay quiet until they got in so we could scare them.

“Boooooo!” I screamed the same to Shane made this squeaky noise.

“Ahhhhhhh!” They both screamed and Shane and I started laughing the looks on their faces were just too much. I mean it wasn’t even scary.

“Hey baby!” I said when I calmed down enough to get the words out.

“Not funny, Tori.” Rex said.

“Your faces were funny!” Shane said.

“They were pretty funny.” I agreed when John gave me a look.

“Whatever! What are you doing here babe?” John asked pulling me close to him.

“Oh, I was hanging out with Ross. earlier Then I helped with dinner. I was looking for you actually but you weren’t here so I just chilled.” I said. We were just about to kiss when we heard whines.

“Oh no, please. It almost dinner.” Rex complained.

“Shut up, Rex.” John ordered moving his head closer slowly just to annoy them.

“JOHN, THERE’S PIE! DON’T DO THIS TO ME!” Rex said. We kissed. “Well, there goes my appetite”

“You are such a baby.” I told him. “But whatever more pie for us.”

Dinner was entertaining. Watching Ross and Shane try to out eat each other was hilarious. Shane won, that boy has a stomach made of steel it’s crazy. Even after the 4 slices of pork, a serving of corn and 3 diner rolls, he still had appetite for a big slice of pie. It’s a wonder how he stays so thin. Then again, John was just the same.

“So, how was practice?” I asked John as we lay on the lounge chair in the backyard.

“Great! The set is coming together. It’s gonna be a great tour I can already feel it.” He told me animatedly.

“That’s great.” I gushed enthusiastically.

“Yeah! The new songs are really fun to play! I’m so excited to let fans hear it!”

“I’m so happy for you, baby!” I really was happy for the band. This was their dream and seeing them continue to grow was amazing.

“I am too. I just I don’t want to leave you so soon.” John whispered pulling me closer to him. “I just got you.”

“I know. I don’t want you to go either but you have to do what you have to do.” I whispered back.

“John?”

“Mmm?”
“I am so proud of you. You know that right?” I said looking into his eyes.

“I love you, Tori.” He murmured before kissing me. I sighed. “You don’t have to say it back. I know you’re not ready. I know you’re still hurting. And I…I’m ok with that.”

“You have no idea how much that means to me, especially today. It’s 3 years today.” I told him.

“You’re gonna be ok, Tori. It’s gonna be ok.” He spoke as he looked into my eyes. I wondered how much of me he could see as he looked in it. ”I’ve got you…I’m sorry I wasn’t with you today.”

“It’s ok.”

I drove back home, glad that the day was over. 3 years that’s how long ago it was but I wasn’t over it. I wished I was over it so I could finally breathe freely. I wished the memory would just leave me alone. I wished I could talk about it without crying. Most of all I wished it never happened. But I am not, I can’t and it did.

“Hi daddy.” I said into the phone.

“Hey baby girl. How are you?”

“I’m good. How’s grammy?”

“She’s fine. We all miss you here.”

“I miss you guys too.”

“Well, I was just checking on you.” He told me. “Your mom told me you’re working at that starbucks again. I hope you aren’t giving boys there a hard time.”

“Dad!” I laughed. “I’m actually with John now.”

“What? Well, wouldn’t you know it. After all those years telling your mothers you’d be together, you finally are. Score one for Me, Zero for your mom.” He joked. “I always knew you’d be on my team. You always were daddy’s little girl”

“I can’t believe you!” I was baffled by the idea of my own dad thinking of me with a boy when I was not even five. Especially since he said over a thousand times that “No you will not have a boyfriend til you’re 30.”Your little girl’s growing up dad.”

“You’ll always be my little girl no matter what.” He told me.

We talked a little more before I got ready for bed. I was just about to close my eyes when I got a call.

“Taylor?” I asked.

“Tori, I need your help.”