Love Drug

There are many things I don’t like in life and one of them is flying. I hate flying. I admit, the sky is beautiful and seeing the small towns below is fun, but the fact that one little thing can go wrong and send us crashing to a fiery death makes my stomach coil.

Fuck flying.

My nails dig crescent shapes into the armrests beside me. I taste metallic on my tongue and I know I’m bleeding. I know my teeth are digging into the flesh of my lips, but can you blame me? I’m scared shitless.

The engine roars and I can feel us lifting off the ground. My heart is hammering inside my chest and I clench my eyes, waiting for us to finally straighten out and when we do I turn on a movie, trying to focus on that and not on the fact that I’m thousands of feet in the air…

A soft woman’s voice comes over the intercom and announces our arrival. For once, I actually wish to stay up in the air. Sadly, we land all too quickly and I find myself standing in an airport, far away from my home in Los Angeles.

As I stand in the middle of the airport with a bag thrown over my shoulder I debate on just leaving with my clothes and disappearing. But how could I make it here? I’ve never been here before so I guess, for now, I’ll have to live with…that man.

“Benjamin!”

Speak of the devil,literally.

“Benji.” I toss a bag into his arms, which were once open to hug me, but they quickly catch the bag and he stops dead in his tracks. He doesn’t seem shocked by my actions, not that I blame him. We haven’t spoken in 6 years.

“Your name on your birth certificate is Benjamin.” My father, William, scolds, tossing my bag onto his back.

“Does it now? What does that have to do with anything?” I push pass him, heading for what I assume is the exit.

I hear his sigh from behind me and I think we both know that the ride home is going to be long and awkward.

And it is.

We’re silent while the car rolls down the road. We’ve left the city, going far into the country. There’s nothing but tree’s, endless fields, and animals all around. We pass small house after small house and farm after farm.

It smells like a mixture of horse and cow shit. In other words, it smells horrible. How people can stand living in such an environment I’ll never understand. I need my sense of adventure and here…it’s just plain boring.

“I expect you to treat my children and wife with kindness and respect,” William finally breaks the cold air between us. But it seems his attempt at conversation is pretty pathetic, because it only makes the atmosphere between us ten times worse.

With a snort I reply, “And what makes you think I’ll treat them in such a way when you couldn’t even do the same to your own wife and child?”

William tenses considerably in the drivers seat. I smirk at the fact that I won, that I made him stick that foot in his mouth and eat it. It seems he’s realizing quickly that I still haven’t forgiven him for what he did.

“How…how is your mother?” His eyes stay on the road, but I can tell his mind is somewhere else.

“How do you think?” I lean my head against the cool glass, glaring at the greenery. I wish the dozers would come here and knock them all down and finally build up a nice city full of drugs, alcohol, and parties.

“Can’t you answer my question for once without being a smartass?”

“Can’t you just shut the fuck up?”

William growls and knuckles turn white. “Don’t use that language with me Benjamin Tyler Huntington!”

“I will say whatever the hell I want to you William Paul Gibson!” I mock like the five year old that we all know I truly am at heart.

“You should be thankful. You could be in juvy but I took you in,” William shouts, turning onto a dirt path that I’m assuming is leading us to hishome barn.

“I rather be in juvy,” I grumble under my breath after William slows to a stop and pulls up to a barn. Before us stands a two story high farm house with fields in front and behind. There’s a large tree in the yard with three swings hanging from the branches along with a vegetable garden where a woman is kneeling, a hand over her enlarging stomach.

Great, the slut is pregnant with another kid. Please let her have a miscarriage! I am such a dick…

“Now listen here Benjamin-”

“Benji! Damn it, my name is Benji! Sound it out if you have to!”

“All right, all right, Benji I don’t, well I do, but I don’t care if you continue this behavior towards me but I’m begging you…don’t use it in front of my kids. They’re young and-”

“Naïve, stupid, mentally retarded? Yeah, yeah I get it.” I wave him off, ignoring the scolding he was about to send my way and jumping out of the car. I slam the car door shut and grab my bags from the trunk. The loud ‘bang’ tells me he got out too and it attracts attention.

“William! You’re back!” The woman wraps her arms around him and I scowl. When she pulls back and sees me she throws on a smile that I want to rip off, but resist doing so. She steps towards me and sticks out her hand for me to shake, but after I raise my eyebrow at it she realizes I’m not going to do anything. “Um…I’m Launda it’s nice to meet you Benja-”

“Benji.” Why does everyone call me Benjamin? What the fuck? Honestly, who has that name and actually uses it? Exactly, no one.

“Oh…Benji. Dinner is almost done. I can have Mary show you to your room.”

Great, now I’m going to have to meet the kids. Isn’t this just fucking fantastic? Someone kill me now…