Love Drug

Shit, shit, shit! This can’t be happening. It just fucking can’t be happening! I know I had more money. Shit, I spent it on Jadeyn didn’t I? Damn it, damn it all! What am I going to do? What am I going to do? It’s been three days since I’ve had my last fix. I need one. Fuck I really, really need it.

I have no money though. Owen and Kristophe may be “friends” but they aren’t good enough “friends” to fucking give me free drugs. Hell no, that shit is expensive and they want it for themselves. I don’t blame them. I wouldn’t share either. Maybe I should get a job?

…

Yeah, right. Me, a job? What can I do, be a fucking waiter? Hello cock sucker, tell me what you fucking want. That would work just fine.

“Damn it,” I growl, hands ripping at my hair and teeth chewing mercilessly on my bottom lip. Maybe…just maybe, Owen will give me some for free just this once? Until I get the money and then I’ll pay him back…

Grabbing my cell phone, I toss a jacket on and climb out my window. The moment my feet touch the ground I head for the woods, the only place I feel somewhat safe being in, as strange as that sounds. I just know that no one will follow me in here. I guess that’s why.

I hold the phone against my ear, waiting patiently for him to pick up and after five rings he does. “Yo!”

“Hey man, I’m not really sure how to ask this but…is there any way you could cut me some slack this week?” I run my fingers through my hair angrily. I can’t believe I ran out of fucking money.

“Slack?” Owen asks and I sigh when he doesn’t get it. But moments later I hear him say ‘oh’, so he did get it. “You don’t got any money? Mm, that’s a shame. No job either?”

“No,” I reply with slight hesitancy in my voice. The way Owen said that made a shiver run down my spine and it definitely wasn’t a good one. “So…what do you say?”

“Sorry man. There’s no way I’m giving you anything for free, but…I have an idea on how you can pay me back,” he purrs, voice low and husky and practically screaming what he wanted and to be honest, it slightly disgusted me.

I know if it weren’t for Jadeyn I would have said yes on the spot, but I had to stop and think. Sleep with Owen for the drugs or suffer the withdrawal symptoms until I get the money? If I do the latter there’s a chance Jadeyn will find out, but if I sleep with Owen there’s a chance Jadeyn will find out about that…

I’m sorry Jadeyn, but I need this.

“I’ll accept that offer, but this isn’t going to be like rape or some shit.” There is absolutely no way in hell I am having sex and not getting pleasure out of it.

Owen laughs, as if it were obvious, and replies, “Don’t worry Benji, I wouldn’t do that to you. Be at mine in twenty, I already have some of your precious stash.”

Trust me, it wasn’t what Owen wanted to do that made me rush to his place, but the promise of cocaine. Just hearing about it made my fingers twitch in excitement. I run said fingers across my nose and place them back onto the steering wheel of Launda’s car.

She said I could use it as long as I came back before midnight. Maybe she isn’t that bad. She definitely isn’t as obnoxious as that piece of shit, William. I refuse to believe that creature is my father. Little shit.

I pull into Owen’s drive way, parking the car and hopping out. The chilly winter air bites at my skin, but I know that soon I’ll be warmed up so I rush up to the door and pound on it. It opens to show a rather smug looking Owen, who pulls me inside for a night full of wonder.

And I wake up the next morning, a mess of tangled limbs with Owen, hair a mess, and smelling of sweat and shame. Two things that can only be associated with sex. And what makes the shame even worse is the fact that I enjoyed it.

Fuck, yes I did and I know that if I had known this earlier I would have been fucking him earlier, because damn he’s good. Maybe paying for the drugs this way isn’t so bad?

Wait, what am I saying? Of course it’s bad! Jadeyn. Fuck, what am I going to do if he finds out? What’s more important to me? Jadeyn or the drugs?Is it pathetic that my mind immediately retaliated with drugs?

I push myself into a sitting position, wincing slightly at the pain in my ass. Trust me, I’m not inexperienced. It’s just I normally don’t bottom, but every now and then I let it happen. Sighing, I rest my feet on the ground and crack my neck.

The moment I do I feel a set of fingers running up my spine. I immediately shiver at the feeling of his rough finger tips trailing over my skin and up my neck until they’re caressing my cheek. Owen moves from behind me and soon his chest and his problem are pressed against me.

“Where you goin’?” His groggy, half awake, half asleep voice asks. The hold he has on me turns me to look at him. His lips crash against my own, moving with skill that tells me he’s just as experienced as I. A tongue works its way pass my lips to caress the expanse of my mouth.

We pull away with a soft ‘pop’ and he smirks. “Stay here.”

“As much as I’d love to.” My eyes can’t seem to look away from his male anatomy. “I do have a boyfriend…if he finds out…”

Owen sighs, “Ok…but one more round?”

How much of a bad person does it make me if I said yes?

~

“Why are you late?” Jadeyn asks, not because he’s annoyed, but because he cares. The moment I see his big blue eyes looking up at me I know that I made the wrong choice. I shouldn’t have slept with Owentwice and I shouldn’t have chose the drugs over him but…

Fuck, I really need them, so I suck up all the feelings I have coursing through my very being and make up a bullshit lie. “Felt like it.”

He giggles and comes up to me, wrapping his arms around my neck so I wrap my arms around his waist. He places a kiss to my lips and I think shit, this is so wrong.

But I smile because I don’t want this relationship to end.

But I don’t want to lose the drugs either.

I love my drugs.