Love Drug

Benji P.O.V

“R-Really?” Jadeyn squeaks through the tears staining his delicate cheeks. I stare at the boy before me who broke down just moments ago, but now here he is, staring up at me with adoring eyes that make me feel even more guilty.

“Really what?” I ask. There were a lot of things I just admitted to him, but if he wants to focus on just one I’m ok with that.

“Do you…r-really mean that you l-love me?” Whatever I was previously thinking about disappeared. My fingers tingled and heart started jumping. Love…do I love Jadeyn? I just said earlier that maybe I love him, but maybe doesn’t sound quite right.

I love Jadeyn.

It sounds so right. It is right. I do, but how could I? I did such terrible things. I’m on drugs. I couldn’t even choose him over the drugs. I cheated on him for the drugs. Damn, how could he believe me if I said that?

“Yes…I do…I love you, Jadeyn.” I use my lengthy hair to shield my face. I don’t want to see what his reaction is. I don’t want to see the hate and rejection in his blue orbs. It’ll be easier not to see him walk away…

“That’s good…I was scared.” What? “I…thought that you were bored with me or hated me for my inexperience but…I love you too, Benji. M-More than you know…”

My head shoots up to look towards the boy. He has his head lowered, blonde locks hiding beautiful blue eyes and pink cheeks. His fingers are fiddling with his shirt and he chews on his bottom lip ever so cutely. And oh, how I adore this sight but really…

“Jadeyn, did you hear anything I just said? I-”

“O-Of course I did!” Suddenly our eyes are locked and he reaches out to grab hold of my hands. Holding them within his smaller ones, he smiles so beautifully and I feel like my heart caught fire, but not in a bad way. It’s just warm and tingling. “And it’s why…why I’ve decided I’ll do my best to help you!”

“Say wha?”

“I…I know it’s hard but I know you can do it! I’ll help, I’ll do everything I can.. I know you can get over the drugs and together we can…fix everything. I’ll forgive you Benji if you just…let me help you.” Earnest eyes look up at me with such determination and care that I can’t help but smile.

I really should have just told him from the start. If I had then this wouldn’t have happened. I’m sure we could have just kissed and made up. And that now we would be in love, kissing, cuddling, and holding each other like in all of those cliché movies.

But…since that didn’t happen, I’m happy that it’s happening now.

“You should be angry with me.” Holding him in my arms is the only thing I can think of doing, so I do just that. And I sigh, breathe in his intoxicating scent, and smile because…moving here is definitely the best thing to ever happen to me. “Why aren’t you yelling at me?”

“I’m not quite done yet.”

“Yeah…?”

Jadeyn pulls away and before I know it, his fist connects with my face and I stumble backwards, not expecting it at all. I bite my cheek and hold onto it and look at Jadeyn who is glaring angrily at me. He stomps towards me and shoves me backwards while screaming, “You’re the biggest fucking idiotic jerk to ever hit this fucking planet! You’re an asshole and you’re selfish and stupid and down right retarded, gah, I can’t explain how fucking wrong you are and how you should have just told me in the first place!”

“It’s wrong to cheat and you’re an asshole for doing it, especially for drugs! And how could you do it with Owen, Owen! He probably has diseases and now you probably do too, stupid Benji and…and…you’re using your hand until I say so!”

“What! Since when were you so cruel?” I whine out but smile when Jadeyn pulls me back in for a hug.

“But I…love you anyways.”

I can’t help but smile and hold him. “I love you too.”

~

“What do you think you’re doing, Benji? I told you to help me out with the yard, but here you are sleeping, again! If you don’t get up to help me right now you will not be seeing Jadeyn for the next week.”

I scowl and glare at the man who I sadly know as my father. “Fuck you. I ain’t doin’ shit and I’ll see Jadeyn whenever I please, old man.”

William stalks towards me and I know what’s coming. The pressure against my cheek is expected so it doesn’t take me long to recover. Shooting him a glare, I smirk. “You haven’t changed. You’re still that worthless excuse of a father. I feel bad for Mary and Joey for being cursed with you.”

“Why you little…”

“William! William!” Launda’s panicked voice screams. The both of us start and look to the entryway to my room as if she was there, but she wasn’t. “M-My…my water just broke!”

The both of us look at each other with widened eyes and simultaneously we bolt for the stairs. I can hear Launda downstairs, begging to go to the hospital. William calls up to me, saying that he’s going ahead and to bring the kids when ready.

“All right!” I shout, the sound of the door slamming shut and tires skidding against gravel is the last thing I hear before Joey and Mary come stampeding towards me.

“Where are mommy and daddy going?” Mary asks, holding onto her brother’s hand. Joey chews on his toy car, which I take and scold him for putting into his mouth. He knows not to do that, what if he choked! God I sound like a mother…

“Mommy is having her baby,” I answer with a smile that soon appears on both their faces. Mary squeaks and starts squealing about having a baby sister while Joey pouts and looks at me with wide cute eyes.

“Will Ben-gee wuv the new baby more than Joey?” He’s just…too cute!

“No way!” I exclaim, holding him against my chest. “You’re my little brother, Joey. I’ll always love you. Now you and Mary go get ready, we have to go to the hospital with your mom and dad.”

They both nod eagerly and we all run off to get them ready. I can’t believe I’m being here for her to give birth. This is just weird…I get to meet the Spawn of Satan. Hopefully he or she grows up to be nothing like William.