Love Drug

I kiss down the nape of his neck, nuzzling my nose affectionately against it. Jadeyn giggles cutely and squirms in my grasp but I only tighten my grip around his thin waist and continue. He starts kicking his legs and trying desperately to get away from me but I just laugh and blow against the nape of his neck. He shivers immediately.

“You’re too cute,” I inform him, reaching up to stroke his cheek. He looks back at me and leans up to kiss me. It’s a sweet, innocent kiss that two lovers share after doing the “dirty deed.”

“I love you, Benji,” Jadeyn sighs contently and he turns so he can face me. He buries his face into my bare chest and runs his hands up my back. I smile and hold him close, burying my face in his beautiful blonde locks.

“Mm, love you too, Jadeyn.”

Just when I think sleep is going to take me there’s a knock on the door. Both Jadeyn and I look at it as if we expect one of our parents to come in, hollering at us about precious events. But when they don’t and I just hear William say, “Benji, your mother is on the phone!” We both sigh in relief.

I kiss Jadeyn once more and he cuddles with a pillow when I get out of bed. I grab the phone off my bedside table and answer, “Hello?”

“Benji, hey it’s mom,” Erica says from the other line and I force myself not to groan in annoyance. She has the worst timing. I’m trying to cuddle here!

“Oh…hey. Do you need something?” I can’t help but sound a little annoyed. This causes Jadeyn to smack me in the back and give me a “be nice” look. I stick my tongue out at him immaturely and turn away.

“Your father and I were talking and well, he told me that you’ve been doing really good and we just finished talking to the judge. You’re coming home! Isn’t it great!”

Whatever she had to say afterwards I couldn’t hear. The only thing ringing through my head is you’re coming home! No…ringing isn’t the right word, more like beating against my skull with such force that it made my entire being shake.

Home…I haven’t…even thought about it. I feel my eyes look back to the blonde sleeping soundly behind me. There’s a beautiful smile on his face and his small fingers are curled into the fabric of my pillow. His blonde hair is a mess atop his hair and slightly damp with sweat. I feel this…string…in my chest snapping in half and suddenly the good mood is dead.

“Benjamin! Are you listening to me?”

“No,” I reply in all honesty because really, I wasn’t. Home…I’m going home? “W-When am I leaving?”

“We still have to buy the plane ticket but you should be out of there by the end of the week!”

My hands are shaking and I don’t know what to do. What am I supposed to do? Can I really go downstairs and ask William if I could stay here, with Jadeyn? I’ll only cause them trouble and they just had a new member added to the family. And Erica…what am I going to do about her? She is my mom after all…

“Benji…sweetie, is something wrong?” She somehow sensed my discomfort and I bite my lip because I don’t know what to do or how to say this but I just want to stay here, forever, with Jadeyn.

“I uh…just…I’ll call you back.” I hang up before she has time to object. I hang up the phone and throw my head in my hands. Running my fingers down my face, I try to think of some type of option.

If I stay here there’s William but if I leave I won’t have Jadeyn. If I leave I just know that I’ll get back into the scene. I’ll start drugs again. I’ll steal and fuck up like I use to and…I don’t want to. For once in my life, I just want to live a peaceful life, with Jadeyn.

Said boy suddenly wraps his arms around me. I stiffen and turn my head to come nose to nose with him. Jadeyn frowns and he asks with concern dripping from every word, “Benji…are you ok?”

How am I supposed to say I’m leaving you? But I don’t want to say that because I’m not leaving. I just can’t but if I don’t leave I’ll be stuck with William. Sure, we had that “moment” a while back but it doesn’t mean our relationship has really improved.

Sighing, I shake my head and decide that I’ll deal with this tomorrow. For now, I just want to lie here forever with Jadeyn.

~

“You…what?”

I bite my lip and scowl. “You heard me…”

“I’m just not sure if I heard you right,” William replies, leaning against the table. He rubs his ear as if he expects something to fall out and prove that he heard me wrong. “You want…to stay here? Why, exactly?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” I glance out the window to Jadeyn, who is currently walking with Joey up to the swings. Mary is right behind him, skipping with flowers in her small hands. I look back at William who slowly turns his attention to me with a soft smile.

“Oh,” he chuckles. “I see.”

“Yeah…”

“Listen, I have no problem with keeping you around Benji but if you’re going to stay here we have to lay down some rules that you will have to follow or I will send you back,” he scolds and I groan at the mere idea of rules but I have to do it, for Jadeyn.

“Keep yourself out of trouble, for once. Help me and Launda out every now and then and you have to visit your mom over the holidays. Pretty simple, I think.”

“Says you,” I grumble, crossing my arms. “I hate rules.”

“Mm, life sucks.”

“It does.”

William smirks and reaches across the table to ruffle my hair. I snort and swat his hand away but he simply laughs and says, “I’ll call and tell your mom since I’m sure your pride won’t let you.”

“Damn straight it won’t!”