Love Will Tear Us Apart, Again

This is what it comes to, him on one side of the couch and me on the other side. The leather had begin to stick on my skin. I knew any move I make can make up our decision. After two years of on and off it all comes down to this decision. Since we go to different schools and we don't even live in the same state anymore. It was now or never. I knew I wasn't going to see him ever again. But every time we'd try to go out we end up hurting ourselves. I checked my phone several times to see if I had any messages to keep me from going insane.

Everyone was having their own conversations and there we were just siting there. So intense I even heard his lightest breath. Waiting for him to come around and say something was like waiting for President Obama to do something about current issues. He flipped his sandy blond hair, pursed his lips and then looked at me with those gorgeous blue eyes. Even in the dim light you could still see how beautiful they were.

"I need to talk to you," He whispered. I nodded my head and followed him outside. My mind was racing and I couldn't stop fidgeting,"I've been thinking...," He started to say. I looked away and pulled my self together.

"I know what you are going to say, so just say it," I bit my lip so hard that if I kept doing it scarlet blood would start gushing out. I looked up and I couldn't tell what he was thinking, usually when I looked at him I knew exactly what he might say. He sighed, I didn't even want to know how he would say what I think he was going to say.

"I don't want to this anymore, this, us, everything," As the words left his lips I forced myself not to shed a tear.But all of a sudden the black eyeliner that was traced around my eyes started to run by the tears that had came down. I quickly stopped myself, I didn't want him to see my cry, even when I felt completely comfortable with him.

"Why? It doesn't have to end, I don't want it too." I said silently like if I didn't want anyone to hear me. I doubt he heard me either.

"I don't want it to end either but this is stupid, and you know it too," I could believe what he was saying, after everything we had been through, friendship-wise also.

"S-so it's not that far, I mean, distance shouldn't matter," I stuttered then looked away.

"It's not like you're down the street anymore."

"So, Sid and Nancy made it work out and he was always on the road." I said justifying our actions. That wasn't the best excuse but it at least it was one?

"Sid? Sid Vicious? HE STABBED NANCY WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE," He started to yell for no reason,"Do you want me to stab you with a knife SEVEN fucking times?"

"You might as well!" I yelled back,"I bet it hurts much less than this."

"Listen, I don't want to this anymore than you do, SO JUST SHUT UP!"

"NO! I WON'T SHUT UP." I yelled. The acid in my stomach started to bubble and I couldn't tell which emotion was more dominate, sadness, or anger.

"You how much it kills me to know that I can't see you everyday?" His voice finally lowered. He put his hand on my shoulder, chills went up my spine.

"It was your choice to go out there, don't blame me." I also lowered my voice,"Whatever do what you want."

"We can still be friends, right?"

I hesitated to answer, truth is I didn't know whether I wanted to or not. I felt a vibrate in my left pocket. I knew I had to leave. I pursed my lips. He was standing there still waiting for an answer. He knew I wasn't going to answer his question. He looked away and took a breath then tried to shrug it off.

"I have...," Before I could finish my sentence he pulled me closer to him and hugged me. His warmth made me smile but I had to go and leave this all behind,"Love will tear us apart....again."

He pursed his lips and nodded, that was my sign to leave and get out of there. I walked through the gates and never thought about looking back.