The Mixed Tapes

Chapter 8

"Will they get mad if I wake them?"
I stirred from my once peaceful sleep upon hearing Jack's voice. Opening my eyes slowly, I looked towards my bedroom door to see Jack, and Tessa standing there with sad, and half adoring faces, dressed in all black. "Yes?" I ask them softly, careful not to wake the sleeping boy next to me who had finally fallen asleep at four in the morning.
Jack was the first to speak, "Just checking in. How is he?" I shook my head as Alex stirred next to me, pushing his head into my neck as I hugged him. "He fell asleep at 4am, which was okay, better then the night before, because instead of waking up every hour, he slept for the whole six hours." Jack nodded appreciatively, but stared as his best-friend slowly began to wake up. Tessa came and took a seat on my side of the bed, as the three of us watched Alex stretch, with his eyes still closed. Tessa and I watched with sad eyes as Alex opened his own, jumping at the sight of the two new people.
"Morning?" Jack smiled slightly, standing at the foot of the bed. Alex didn't say anything as we continued to stare at him; his eyes searched their faces before he found mind and smiled slightly, before pulling me into his grasp. Tessa let out a pained sob, as the crying over took Alex once again and he burried his face into my chest his silent tears wetting my shirt. I glanced helplessly at Jack and Tessa who both stared at me with pained expressions. Tess pulled on Jack's shirt and motioned towards the bedroom door; "We'll see you guys later, for the...yea."
I nodded as they exited shutting the door behind them. I sighed and stared at the ceiling, watching as my fan spun round and round, just like time and the world.
"I'm not going." With sad eyes, I watched as Alex stared right back at me, serious eyes, and no emotion's in his voice.

"Alex, c'mon." I sighed struggling to pull myself up from my bestfriend's grasp, as he whined holding me tighter, staying under the covers, keeping me there too. I watched as his eyes stared blankly at my face, "Alex, we have to get up."
"I'm not going," he whispered in a harsh tone, before he pushed himself against me holding my waist tightly, half of his face buried in my pillow, my lip touching his cheek, almost the corner of my mouth, I jumped away feeling my face burn, but the more I leaned from him, the more I felt like I was falling.
And I did fall.
"Hadley?" Alex gasped starring over the edge of my bed with wide eyes as I stared up at him, my knees up, and my large tshirt riding up my midriff. "I'm fine," I said standing up quickly, and rushing to the bathroom, ignoring Alex's quizical tear stained stare, and shut the bathroom door tightly. Taking a seat on my bathroom counter, I did my best to slow and calm down my ragged breathing.
The Alex charm, no way to ignore it. . . no matter what state he was in

Stepping out of the bathroom drying my hands on the over size shirt, I stopped short upon hitting someone's foot. "Alex?" starring down quizically, I watched as my bestfriend continued to lay on the floor, starring at the ceiling, "I want to cry. But I can't, I have no more tears."
Without a word, I kicked his foot, and tried pulling him up by his arm, "Alex, c'mon get up."
He didn't answer me, but stayed on the floor limply, watching me with blank eyes. "Alex, I'm serious, get your ass up! You're drowning yourself."
He continued not to answer as I struggled to lift him only mere inches off the carpeted floor.
Groaning in frustration I sat on the floor watching him, angry expression adorning my face. "Why won't you get up?" I snapped at him, watching him flinch at my tone. "You're going to make me go the buriel. I don't want to."
"You're being so selfish," I snapped getting up off the floor, my voice cracked at my next choice of words, "I-i-if you had died, Daniel wouldn't be acting selfish. He would want to honor you, but what are you doing. Moping, "
"I have nothing else to feel, Hadley!" he yelled at me, sitting up off the floor, "Nothing more to do!"
I stayed cowered near my bedroom wall, as he glared at me, "Their is so much more to do, Alex."
With trembling legs, and a shattered heart, I exited my bedroom and headed towards the living room, passing my Parent's room, I stopped and went it.
"Sweetie, what's wrong?" my dad asked as he fixed his tie, starring at me with worried eyes. I shook my head and sat on their bed, tipping my self over I layed on their pillow's, "He's scaring me," My dad sighed, and took a seat next to me, brushing my hair behind my ears, "Sweetie, you're not scared. You're scared that he's scared." he sighed, as my mother opened her bathroom door, coming out with a robe around her, "And he is scared."
I nodded, feeling my lip tremble, as my mother came and sat next to my dad. "You're doing great honey," my mother smiled, "But you need to get him there, to the funeral. He'll have some closure, he'll feel better. Stronger."

"Alex get your ass up, now." I spoke sternly barging into my bedroom, but stopped short when I saw him standing infront of me, looking as though he was about to go downstairs. "I'm up," he stated lowly. I glared at him, and dragged his hand out of my bedroom, down the hall towards the kitchen, where I forced him to take a seat at the counter, where he stared at me, cautiously as I stood at the other side, leaning foreward. "We have cereal, toast, or I could make you pancakes." I spoke, watching him look disgusted at the words of food. "I'm not hungry, Hadley."
"Cereal it is!" I said, turning away from him, and walking towards the cabinets, where I pulled out the drawer so Alex could see the choices, I heard him sigh, "Captain Crunch."
Smiling with my back to him, I poured him a bowl, and grabbed the milk; Walking back towards the counter, he had his head on his arms, not moving.
"Eat," I said softly, placing the bowl in front of him, and left the kitchen, smiling at the sound of the spoon meeting the ceramic bowl.

"Alex I have your suit," I called, from my bedroom, hearing his soft footsteps coming towards my bedroom, he gave me a stern glare before he made a movement to leave, "Alex, please." I begged tiredly, the energy I had this morning and the day before, now leaving my body. He watched me cautiously, before running a hand through his knotted hair, before he muttered, "Fine." And headed towards my bathroom grabbing a towel, and fresh boxers. Sighing as the door shut softly, I collapsed on my bed, smiling as I heard the shower begin to run, closing my eyes, I breathed in deeply, but stopped as I heard a small thud, come from my bathroom, sitting up quickly, my heart began to thud in my chest violently, and terrified.
"Alex?" I knocked on the door softly, but stopped when I heard sniffling on the other side of the door, "Alex, I-I'm coming in."
"Okay," a small voice said, walking in I saw Alex on the tiled floor in only his boxers, causing my face burn, "What's wrong?" I said taking a seat next to him, letting him lean into me, "I can't do this," he said sobbing, gripping my shirt, "I don't want to say good bye."
"Oh, Alex," I said holding him tightly, "No one ever wants too. But sometimes, you just have to hold your head high, and just do it."
He nodded his head in my neck, and I heard him let out a shaky sigh, "okay."
He stood up, and with his boxers still on he stepped into the shower.

"Alex?" I asked, uncertain when I heard no noises from behind the curtain, "Alex, Wha-?" Pulling back the curtain, I felt water hit me in the face, sputtering and opening my eyes, Alex smiled at me, the shower head pointed at me dripping slightly. "Alex," I whined, and sighed, grabbing the shower head I turned it so it wasn't facing me, and pointed it towards the drain, "Do you want help, you baby?" He shrugged at me, meaning a yes. Groaning, and grabbing the shampoo and conditioner I lathered it in his hair as he held his eyes closed, small tears escaping the tightly closed lids. As I continued to wash his hair, I chuckled as he leaned into my hands, "Okay," I said finishing up and rinsing my hands, "You rinse off okay?"

Alex sat on my bed, his suit on, his tie still undone, watching me, as I put on a little bit of makeup. Through the mirror, I watched him watch me, smiling slightly, when he met my gaze. Sighing I placed my make up down, and walked towards Alex, motioning him to sit up, I grabbed the tie, and fixed it, ignoring the gaze on my face, "Okay, done." I stated smiling, I looked up at him, his face blank, fresh tears ready to fall. "Alex, we can go for a little bit, okay. We can leave when you want. But do this for your mom, and dad. For Daniel." He met my eyes, at the last name, and nodded, "Okay."

The group sat on the grass, in the park a few blocks away from the Gaskarth's house. With solemn faces, we watched Alex from a few feet away. He was seated on top of the 'big slide', his shirt unbottoned, and his tie undone. Olivia held my hand as I leaned tiredly on Zack's shoulder. "Is he going to school on Monday?" Vinny asked softly, watching his friend jump off the slide, landing on his feet, he came towards us. "I hope so." I muttered, watching as Alex came and sat infront of me, before he leaned down and layed on my legs, his head on my stomach.
He leaned his head backwards, and smiled small, but it was there, "Thanks, for everything Hadley." Nodding, I felt him grasp my hand and hold it tightly.
"Jack, Rian, Zack, when do we have rehersal?"
Smiling, and as did the rest of the group, we welcomed back the old Alex that would soon come back 100%.