The Story
Today Is A Winding Road;
My toes sunk deeper and deeper down into the sand with every step I took. The way he looked seemed almost impossible to keep in my memory. His smile faded when he saw tears in my eyes.
I knew this was goodbye. I had to let go of him...
"Bye." I choked out as his mouth parted slightly and he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him.
I took in his musky, wonderful scent one last time. I slapped him hard across the face, my hand red and burning from the slap.
His hand flew to his cheek as he rubbed it slowly.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled as I gulped and shook my head as tears trickled down my cheeks.
"Don't be. I don't want an apology from you." I whispered.
"I should've told you about Lisa." He spoke softly as I continued to sob into my hands.
"Well, you wanted her...and you can have her because obviously you never wanted me in the first place." I said, getting ready to walked the opposite way of the beach.
"That's not true!" He yelled, grabbing my wrist again and turning me back around once more.
"Alex, forget you! I don't need you! I'll find a way to make it. Senior fucking year just ended! And you...always find some way to get by." I whispered, wiping away my tears as he stared at me and let go of my wrist.
"Are you saying goodbye? What the fuck, Bell! What about tour?" He said as I shook my head.
"I am not helping with the merch table after what you did right there in front of me! I'm tired of being a pushover! I'm tired of always..." I paused and then took in a deep breath. "Giving you what you want..."
"Look, Bella...We weren't even in love anyway! So why the fuck does it matter?"
"It matters to me!" I shouted, pointing to my chest with my index finger as he swallowed hard.
"Why?" He spoke softly.
"Because you're everything to me, Alex! And I...love you. I always have. I'm tired of being your...bitch." I sighed as he gave me a confused look.
"My bitch?" He laughed as I nodded slowly and stared down at his converses in the sand.
"Yes! You know what I mean...this is goodbye." I whispered as he continued to stare at me while the waves crashed up against the rocks and silence over came the space between us.
"I'll miss you." He mumbled, meeting my eyes with his deep dark brown ones.
"I hope you do because...I certainly will not miss you."
"What the hell did I do? Big fucking deal! She's my girlfriend! I'm sorry I didn't tell you and I am so fucking sorry that I used you! Get over it and come on tour with me! Please. It won't be the same without you." He said as my eyes stung with tears once again.
"I've always wanted to be more then just...a casual fuck." I whispered, biting down hard on my lip so I wouldn't cry anymore but that was useless.
"Bell, you're my best friend...you already are more then a casual fuck." He chuckled as I rolled my eyes.
"That's not what I meant, Alex. I meant...I want to be Lisa. I want to be that girl that feels special and loved...I'm tired of waking up with my make-up smeared and my clothes on the floor with my bed sheets tangled up around me and you gone." I said as he rolled his eyes.
"Bella, just come on...don't do this a day before tour." He told me as I shook my head and thunder was heard in the distance.
"Fuck you and your damn band." I whispered as tears streamed down my cheeks, making my eyeliner run.
He stared into my eyes as I licked my dry lips and froze in my tracks.
"I guess I have to stop loving you...because your heart belongs to someone else..." I paused and then tried not to sob. "But you will always hold the key to mine." and then I walked away leaving him there speechless...
I knew this was goodbye. I had to let go of him...
"Bye." I choked out as his mouth parted slightly and he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him.
I took in his musky, wonderful scent one last time. I slapped him hard across the face, my hand red and burning from the slap.
His hand flew to his cheek as he rubbed it slowly.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled as I gulped and shook my head as tears trickled down my cheeks.
"Don't be. I don't want an apology from you." I whispered.
"I should've told you about Lisa." He spoke softly as I continued to sob into my hands.
"Well, you wanted her...and you can have her because obviously you never wanted me in the first place." I said, getting ready to walked the opposite way of the beach.
"That's not true!" He yelled, grabbing my wrist again and turning me back around once more.
"Alex, forget you! I don't need you! I'll find a way to make it. Senior fucking year just ended! And you...always find some way to get by." I whispered, wiping away my tears as he stared at me and let go of my wrist.
"Are you saying goodbye? What the fuck, Bell! What about tour?" He said as I shook my head.
"I am not helping with the merch table after what you did right there in front of me! I'm tired of being a pushover! I'm tired of always..." I paused and then took in a deep breath. "Giving you what you want..."
"Look, Bella...We weren't even in love anyway! So why the fuck does it matter?"
"It matters to me!" I shouted, pointing to my chest with my index finger as he swallowed hard.
"Why?" He spoke softly.
"Because you're everything to me, Alex! And I...love you. I always have. I'm tired of being your...bitch." I sighed as he gave me a confused look.
"My bitch?" He laughed as I nodded slowly and stared down at his converses in the sand.
"Yes! You know what I mean...this is goodbye." I whispered as he continued to stare at me while the waves crashed up against the rocks and silence over came the space between us.
"I'll miss you." He mumbled, meeting my eyes with his deep dark brown ones.
"I hope you do because...I certainly will not miss you."
"What the hell did I do? Big fucking deal! She's my girlfriend! I'm sorry I didn't tell you and I am so fucking sorry that I used you! Get over it and come on tour with me! Please. It won't be the same without you." He said as my eyes stung with tears once again.
"I've always wanted to be more then just...a casual fuck." I whispered, biting down hard on my lip so I wouldn't cry anymore but that was useless.
"Bell, you're my best friend...you already are more then a casual fuck." He chuckled as I rolled my eyes.
"That's not what I meant, Alex. I meant...I want to be Lisa. I want to be that girl that feels special and loved...I'm tired of waking up with my make-up smeared and my clothes on the floor with my bed sheets tangled up around me and you gone." I said as he rolled his eyes.
"Bella, just come on...don't do this a day before tour." He told me as I shook my head and thunder was heard in the distance.
"Fuck you and your damn band." I whispered as tears streamed down my cheeks, making my eyeliner run.
He stared into my eyes as I licked my dry lips and froze in my tracks.
"I guess I have to stop loving you...because your heart belongs to someone else..." I paused and then tried not to sob. "But you will always hold the key to mine." and then I walked away leaving him there speechless...
♠ ♠ ♠
Alrighty, so, new fucking story! :]Please fucking comment!
Thanks :]
This plot will be interesting...believe me on this one guys.
Love & Rockets, Faith (Faye) <3