Mercy's All That You Need

Later that night, Mercedes could barely keep her eyes open. She hadn't been able to sleep since she woke up from the dream (or was it a nightmare?) she had that morning. By the time the others woke up, she was wading her way through all of her missed school work. During that time, she hadn't thought about anything but calculus problems, her History research paper, and how the hell she was ever going to catch up.

Still, it was refreshing to have something to focus on other than her life and all of its misfortunes. All she worried about in those hours were getting her work done, and getting it done well. Just before sunset, she slunk back to her room in a dazed state, putting all of her work back into the boxes. She hoped Matt wouldn't notice it; she hoped he'd think she slept through the day, as she should have. She didn’t want him worrying about her more than he already did.

As per usual, someone came down to her room to retrieve her. Doing so was safer, rather than risk her walking straight into another dangerous situation. Mercy got her brother's logic in that sense, but it didn't make her feel any better about her fate, and what it very well could be. If she wasn't safe in this house with the security of the scariest, most protective vampires around, did she have any hope of ever being at ease... anywhere?

Johnny noticed her spaced out, tired stare as they walked down the hallway, Mercedes almost leaning on him for support. With a frown, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and sighed. She could tell she was worrying him, too, and she only felt worse about everything. He hadn't asked to be put in such a situation, to have to protect such a week half-blooded vampire such as herself. No one did, and yet here she was practically being forced upon them.

"Are you feeling okay, Mercedes?" He asked, his tone wary.

"Yeah, I'm fine," She replied in a mumble, swiping her hand across her face in a half-assed attempt to wake up.

He stopped her then, worry darkening his coffee brown eyes. She had to stop herself from swaying when he removed his arm from her shoulder. "Are you sure?"

Quickly, she stood as straight as her stiff, worn spine would allow her and smiled up at him. "Yes, Johnny. I'm positive," She decided to be truthful. "I just didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night. And I'm starving."

She assumed he didn't know about what happened with Ariel earlier, or at least she hoped. Even if it was stupid to do so, she hoped desperately that no one would bring it up. Just for that night, she wanted to forget about all of the problems she would eventually have to face and just relax. Because look where stressing got her... awkward, confusing dreams, it only added to everyone's worries over her, and now apparently, she was starving herself.

Not believing it for a second, Johnny simply smiled and continued walking with her, out through the foyer and into the kitchen where the others were.

Upon seeing Mercedes, Val grinned and waved her spatula encouragingly. She and Gena stood in front of the range, cooking. Mercy found it a little more than slightly weird to see vampires cooking a meal, but excitement stirred her out of her confused, drowsy state. Enough to leave Johnny's side and investigate.

Apparently, she picked the right night to be hungry. Whatever Val was cooking she didn't recognize, but it smelled delicious. It looked like a Mexican dish, and the spicy scent had her mouth watering. "Evening, Mercy," Gena greeted. The rest of the girls had joined the men at the island, and Mercedes chose the smaller group to approach first. After spending so much time with them, she still found it hard being herself around so many people. She didn't know what to say or even how to join into the conversation without making herself feel awkward.

"Likewise," Mercedes replied, smiling at the women. She had to catch herself from saying 'Good morning.'

The first thing she noticed about the group, however, was that Syn was absent. She instantly believed it to be her fault. Perhaps walking away from him this morning wasn't the best decision. She'd been so emotional, so on edge, that she couldn't even face him. But Brian didn't let things like that affect him... or at least, she didn't think he did.

Even through everything… through the entrancing aroma of the food cooking, worrying about her schoolwork and Ariel’s visit this morning, the dream she had and a certain vampire kept her in a constant confused, uneasy state.

Val and Gena both tensed, and Mercedes almost instantly felt eyes on the back of her head. She chanced a glance behind her before turning around again, forcing a smile. Matt and Johnny stood next to each other, talking in whispers. It was obvious who they were talking about, and judging from how tense the girls became everybody heard it. If it weren’t for her cursed still-human hearing, she would’ve known what they were on about.

A lump grew in her throat. She just knew what they were worrying over, and seeing them like this had her more pessimistic than ever. They thought she was like this because of her Change. For once, however, it wasn’t. If she weren’t so tired, she would’ve felt better than she had in a long, long time. And that was just it—she was just tired, and she wished desperately that everyone, including herself, could forget about everything for the night. Ariel, her Change… and Syn. If he were here, it would’ve been better. She wouldn’t have to worry about him so much then.

At hearing the conversations become subdued, the girls bottling up their excitement and the general mood of the room taking a plunge, Mercy heaved a sigh and went for the island. She planted herself on a chair and leaned forward so she could rest her elbows against the cool marble countertop. She didn’t bother a look at any of the guys, she knew she attracted attention to herself just by simply moving.

“Are you feeling alright, Mercedes?” At hearing her brother’s voice right next to her, Mercedes nearly jumped out of her skin. The last time she looked, he was standing on the other side of the island, next to Johnny. She was beginning to hate all the perks that came with being a vampire.

Mechanically, she nodded. “I’m fine,” It would probably sound more convincing if she added a verbal response, she figured. As usual, she was going to be truthful. “I didn’t get much sleep last night… or, today.”

They both cracked a smile, despite the conversation. She doubted she would ever get used to the nocturnal part of being a vampire… or any part of it.

Matt’s smile quickly fled, however, and this in turn had Mercy frowning again, looking down at her pale hands. “Well maybe you should go back to your room and try and get some sleep again, yeah?”

She caught his gaze and held it for several seconds, seeing something other than worry over her sleeping pattern in his hazel eyes. She knew what it was right away… he was just as confused as she was about this morning. And angry—something she couldn’t comprehend when it came to herself and her feelings toward her mother.

Quick to deny it, she shook her head back and forth. “I swear Matt, I’ll be fine. I just need to wake up.”

What she said didn’t exactly make sense because she was never really asleep in the first place, but Matt bought it. She felt surprised at that… her brother never backs off that easily. Maybe it was because of tonight’s circumstances; it looked like it was going to be a ‘family’ night… something she was ecstatic about.

If it was what she guessed, then this would be the most normal thing they’d done since she arrived. Judging from the feast Val was cooking up it would be the first real meal everyone would be eating together, too. Mercy was quick to decide against asking whether it was normal for vampires to eat human food… she almost felt like she would offend someone if she brought it up.

As the minutes ticked by, Mercedes found herself a little bored and subjected to her own thoughts. She wondered about Brian and where he possibly could’ve been at that moment, and then cursed herself for thinking about him at all. After the more than slightly creepy dream this morning, she should’ve known better than to do this to herself.

Should’ve. Right then though, she felt like she couldn’t help herself.

She didn’t know how to feel about his disappearing act. First and foremost, this was his family before it was hers. She didn’t want him excluded just for her sake—if that even was what was happening. She tried to find a bad side to having Syn join them, but she found it increasingly difficult with each though that crossed her mind about him.

No one could forget about the incident in the hallway this morning, or the dream… for Christ’s sake, the dream. She couldn’t get it out of her head. All she could think about was the way he looked up at her, wearing that small smirk of his, as he bite her wrist. How his lips felt against her skin as he kissed his way up her arm… it felt right, in a twisted sort of way.

Before she could read into it any further, Mercedes shook her head rapidly, as if she could clear her own thoughts away.

There was no denying it, though. It changed her feelings toward the vampire. She wasn’t so scared of him anymore... more confused than ever, sure—but definitely not scared of him anymore. She knew it wasn’t rational, because he had no real part in that dream. It was all her imagination.

All her imagination. She had to remember that.

Fifteen minutes later Matt and Val were nearly having a conversation with their eyes. From the looks of it, a very heated one. Finally, Val turned the heat down on the range and Matt went for the dining room and out the patio door. Jimmy and Johnny joked around with each other as they followed suit, Zacky and the girls behind them.

Just when Mercedes was about to heave herself out of her chair, she saw that Val remained behind. She saw this coming. Matt wouldn’t be Matt if he weren’t on top of things, which was partly why he was able to hold this group together as well as he could. And that, with Ariel this morning? That was most certainly a thing.

As if not to scare the girl as much as her brother had earlier, Val made her way over to Mercy at a slow, almost comforting pace. She wasn’t looking to corner the redhead, no. All she wanted to do was make sure she was okay, and Mercy realized that. On the other side of the counter, Val leaned across and gave Mercedes a sympathetic smile.

“How ya’ holding up, huh?”

“I… I’m doing okay, I guess,” Mercedes didn’t quite know how to put her feelings into words anymore. “I’m shocked more than anything, I mean… all these years…”

That was all she could get out before she felt her vision blur. Just thinking about her mother had her in tears. The betrayal was too great. She almost wish she’d let her brother protect her from it all like he tried to do.

She paused altogether when she heard footsteps heading toward them, knowing it could only be one person. Her heart raced as she twisted in her seat just in time to see Syn breeze past them in the hallway as he headed into the dining room. Mercedes flinched at the sound of the patio doors shutting, although they weren’t slammed in the slightest.

She can’t help the rush of feelings or the fact that she was left reeling just at the sight of Syn. He was mystery to her more than ever, then. Desperately, she wished he would just drop the tough exterior for once. And then, of course, she felt terrible. By walking away from him like she had that morning, she probably made things a thousand times worse.

In one hasty movement, Mercy turned back around to face Val, who stared back at her with a raised eyebrow. She felt the all too familiar heat of a blush creep up her neck once again, and mentally cursed herself when she felt her cheeks heat up, too. Obviously, Val noticed the one-sided exchange between Mercedes and Brian but thankfully she didn’t comment on it.
Wanting nothing more than to draw attention away from herself, she smiled. “I just want to enjoy tonight, okay? I want to forget about all of this… for once.”

A smile broke out on Val’s face, and Mercy couldn’t help but grin back at her. “Well come on then, let’s relax a little.”

Relaxing is what they did. She sat poolside with Val and the girls instead of her usual place, near her brother and his friends on the deck. With each minute that passed, Mercedes could feel herself loosening up. She wasn’t just a kid with a butt-load of life threatening problems, at least not tonight. Tonight, she felt like she could finally be herself around her newfound friends and family. She pushed off her drowsy thoughts about anything other than having fun. All she ever did was worry, so even after just a few minutes she felt refreshed and almost as if she had rested all day.

Mercedes had a good night. At least, until it came around time for everyone to sit down and have dinner. Brian hadn’t uttered a single word to her the whole night, which wasn’t out of the norm in the slightest, but she couldn’t help but wish that would change. Regardless of what had happened today. She’d been upset, nearly out of her mind at the betrayal she felt. Syn couldn’t possibly hold that against her, could he?

It slowly ate at her, all throughout the course of the meal (which she enjoyed possibly a little too much—she would never question Val’s cooking skills.) Sure, Brian was acting normal as far as the past few weeks have gone. Shouldn’t this morning have changed something though? After all, that was the only reason she ventured out of her room in the first place. To fix things with him. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have caught her mother’s visit. She would still be living in her own naïve little world.

He’d barely even look at her as he passed her the salad, ignored her smile as she tried to thank him. Then, he could laugh and talk with the guys as if he weren’t giving her the cold shoulder.

Instead of making a scene, instead of leaving the table and retreating to her room like she so desperately wanted, she forced a smile at the girls and continued through the meal, as if nothing bothered her. She even helped clean the dishes and put them away, but after that there was no way she could bring herself to stay around. She felt like an outsider again, simply because she still wasn’t accepted by one member of the group. The member that could very well make her life a living hell, and the one that she was so intrigued by.

The one that she apparently dreamed of.

“Mercy! Where are you going?” Leana demanded upon seeing the teenager attempting to flee the kitchen. She caught the younger girl by the arm and gave her a pout. “Everyone’s hanging out in the living room, maybe watch a movie,”

Mercedes felt bad for bailing out early, but her next words were nothing but the truth. “I think I’m just going to head to bed, now, if that’s okay.”

She looked past the brunette in front of her and to the rest of the girls, looking for approval. Before anyone could disagree, Val stepped forward.

“I’ll let Matt know, hun. You go on to sleep,” Val sounded more motherly then than she ever had. Mercy was almost thankful for it.

After saying goodnight Mercedes fled to her room, nearly collapsing onto her bed as soon as she got there. She buried her head into her pillow, feeling foolish… she knew she was making something out of absolutely nothing. Brian didn’t have any reason to treat her any differently than he had all along. Maybe he really just didn’t like her. Maybe there was nothing that could be fixed.

As she drifted off to sleep, she could only hope and pray that with rest, she could get her mind off of Synsyter Gates, and finally, be at peace for once.