Mercy's All That You Need

Collapsed against the door of her room, Mercedes held her face between her hands and cried. She cried so hard that she couldn’t as much as catch her breath, and when she did it was through forced, hiccupping sobs. At first she swiped each tear away as it fell in an effort to conceal her crying, but soon after she couldn’t even control that much.

What just happened? She could hardly believe it. Matt had always been so kind to her, it was a shock to have his anger directed to her for once. She believed he finally lost his patience with her… the weak link in the house. She couldn’t even fess up to her feelings, so logically what kind of vampire would she make? A crappy one, just like Syn said all those weeks ago.

She gasped and launched herself away from the door when a soft knock resonated from the other side. She stared at the door, eyes watery and hands still pressed to her flushed cheeks. All the possibilities prattled through her mind at once, and she imagined it to be Matt on the other side keen on yelling at her again. Or maybe it was Brian to tell her how much of a crazy she was for having those damned dreams about him.

They were the root of this mess, after all.

Seconds later, Val’s harmonious voice filtered past the heavy wooden door. “Please open the door, Mercy. Matt’s gone. We just want to talk.”

We?

When all Mercedes could do was stare at the door in a panicked trance and stumbled back toward her bed, the door handle turned ever so subtly. Her olive eyes darted toward her bathroom door and she contemplated locking herself in there and what good it would do. She couldn’t face them—she couldn’t face reality.

Now her brother hated her, too.

The door nudged open then, just a crack. She never thought to lock it, having figured everyone would respect her privacy like they always did. She wiped at her eyes in a frantic manner even while she knew there was no hope of disguising the fact that she just bawled her eyes out. A head of brunette hair peeked in. Leana only had to spare one look at her in sympathy before pushed the door the rest of the way open and made her way into the room.

“Oh, honey, come here,” she pulled Mercedes into a tight, comforting hug. Val wasn’t far behind her, and she pushed the door shut gently behind her. She crossed her arms as she watched the girls embrace, brow pinched in upset.

Mercedes remained tense in Leana’s hug, one arm held tightly to her side and the other around Leana. Really, what was supposed to be comfort only caused her to cry more. Why couldn’t she be strong enough to face things head on? She didn’t want anyone’s pity.

“Matt’s being such a jackass,” Leana muttered after she released Mercy. “When I see him…”

Coming forward, Val interrupted her with the wave of her hand. “He’s just concerned, Leana,” she reasoned. “But he can’t just treat Mercy like that.”

“I’m fine,” Mercedes tried to say, even though her voice cracked and wavered near the end. Her throat felt constricted and full. The girls chose not even acknowledge the claim, and for that Mercy was almost grateful. It wasn’t exactly something she felt like arguing over, especially right then.

“I’m so sorry, Merc. You know how he is. He loses it when he can’t magically fix whatever’s wrong.”

“Thanks, Val,” Mercy sniffed. She tried to take Val’s words to heart, but there really wasn’t much that could console her. She just wanted to sleep, and she couldn’t even do that. She was exhausted. “Where is he?”

“On the way to the party. He needs some time to cool off, that’s all,” Val explained.

“Hopefully he’ll have everything ready so we won’t have to stress when we get there,” Leana cracked a futile smile. “Then we can focus on hair and makeup.”

Val rolled her eyes at Leana’s newfound silver lining in the dilemma.

Mercedes forced a tight smile through her tears, but it didn’t make her feel better like she hoped. If anything, she felt even more tired from just the small action. She imagined what she looked like right then—hair a mess and sticking to the sides of her face, eyes puffy and cheeks red. Unless the girls were miracle workers, she knew she’d look like crap at the party later that night.

But none of it mattered, anyway.

Although Mercy had a hard time in believing Val’s kind words she tried to suck her emotions in as best she could. Matt might have been ill-tempered on his best day, sure, but rarely did he blow up in such an explosive way. Maybe if it was directed at Brian or Ariel, but never to her. Mercedes knew that he wasn’t’ angry at her, not really—he was angry at the situation. He couldn’t fix it, like she told him in the heat of their argument, and so he dealt with it the only way he knew how.

Had he bitten off more than he could chew by choosing to help her? Did he realize that today—was that what this whole thing was about… was he finally done with her?

So far all signs pointed to a firm yes… the very thought sent a tremble of dread through Mercedes. She didn’t want to go back to live with her mother again. Mercedes would have done anything to stay there. With Matt and Val and even Brian. Everyone. They had turned into her family, and she couldn’t be without them. She was sure she wouldn’t survive it.

Val seemed to notice the spike in Mercy’s mood—or perhaps the haunted look in her eyes—and she took one of Mercy’s hands in her own. Her eyes held pity, and Mercedes felt as hapless as ever. “Come on, we still have the party to look forward to. Forget about Matt.”

She ushered Mercedes to the bathroom, her steps light and hand on hers cautious. “Calm down and take a shower, okay? When you’re ready, pack up a bag for the night and we’ll hit the road.”

She nodded. A shower would help, and plus the sooner they got out of there, the sooner she might be able to temporarily forget about the conflict between her and her brother. That was a big might, though, and judging from the worried look in Val’s eyes she didn’t really believe everything could be fixed with a shower and a drive either.

Mercedes cried while she undressed, thankful she was alone, yet she wished in desperation she had someone there for her. Someone who understood… she felt as if she couldn’t trust anyone with her thoughts and feelings (especially those relative to Brian). And then she wondered when she turned into such a jaded person to the point where she wouldn’t allow herself to really talk to anyone. At least about anything important.

Halfway through her shower she forced herself to stop with the crying charade, and she put up a new front. One she almost wanted to believe: maybe tonight would solve everything or perhaps the tension between some of the people in the household might dissolve. A night out of town might be good for everyone, including herself. She recalled her excitement about seeing a little of Los Angeles, and that alone was her driving force to finally get out of the shower.

When she emerged from the bathroom, body and hair wrapped in towels, Leana was laid in the middle of her bed texting. Mercedes smiled at the sight on a hunch that she was texting Jimmy when in reality they were only across the house from each other. They were indeed a cute couple—she was a little envious. They had the one thing she needed and would probably never receive.

Leana sideways glanced at Mercy, still in a towel, and smiled in return. “Val’s gone to get ready. She’ll be back here in a bit. Get cracking, I want to leave soon!”

Mercedes released a much needed giggle, feeling herself let go of a little of her tension while she headed to her closet. “Give me five minutes.”

She dressed in a pair of cute light blue denim shorts and a tank top. She was excited just at the thought of getting some sun, and more than just a glimpse of the sunset. Before she left her closet she picked out a pair of flip flops, too, sure to take advantage of California’s nice weather whenever she had the chance.

After she dressed, she hurried to the bathroom and brushed her hair out so it resembled something close to presentable. She would let it dry by itself because she liked her hair’s natural wave. Not two seconds after she had her bag packed for the night with her dress, a pair of heels and some accessories safely tucked at the bottom, the girls could be heard chatting loudly in excitement through the hallway.

Val walked through the door with Gena and Lacey, and Mercedes knew they wanted to get a move on already if they were all congregated in her room, waiting on her. She adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder and smiled as best she could. As if the fight with Matt hadn’t happened, though it still played on everyone’s minds.

Gena, sensing that the mood had upturned now that they had something new and exciting to look forward to, grinned and reached forward to touch Mercy’s hair. It had gotten longer in the past months, and by then it reached her mid-back. Gena’s eyes twinkled with excitement.

“When Brian sees you tonight he’ll wish there really was a reason for Matt to be so pissed at him.”

Mercy flushed and while the rest of the girls couldn’t contain their chuckles, Val elbowed Gena. Turning serious, Gena smiled then. “Your hair will look gorgeous curled. That’s what we’ll do.”

Leana clapped her hands and set off for the door. “Come on then, let’s get a move on!”

It wasn’t long before they all had their bags and were heading out, then back in their happy little bubble full force. To them the source of all the tension—Matt—was out of sight and therefore out of mind. The truth of course was that Mercy was at the very root all of this. With the dreams. Too often her thoughts drifted back to her displeased brother and how she got them there in the first place. No, as much as she wanted to she found it increasingly hard to enjoy this time with everyone.

On the way out the girls all put their sunglasses on, and Mercedes observed them in wonder as their features scrunched under the bright afternoon sun. She dreaded the day she could no longer take solace in the simple pleasure of warm sunlight on her face.

She stayed near Val and watched her enter a code into the security system and lock the house up. Mercy felt a jolt of apprehension at the thought of leaving the house—her one refuge of safety. For one single moment she didn’t want to face the world and all of its ugly possibilities.

When Val turned to her after she shut the front door and Mercy caught on to her uneasiness, she wasn’t quite sure she even wanted to go to the party anymore. Staying back seemed like a great escape right then.

“Okay, Mercedes. I have something to tell you—please don’t freak out.”

Val sure knew how to get her attention. The girls hovered near the entrance, anxious of her response to whatever Val had to lay on her.

It was impossible not to panic at Val’s quiet plea, but Mercedes nodded and tried to look confident as best she could. She wouldn’t let her reaction get in the way of tonight. Whatever Val had to say she’d let roll off her back. Nothing else would ruin tonight, if only for the sake of everyone else’s happiness. They deserved it much more than she did.

“Matt called earlier and he said for you to ride with Brian to L.A.,” she raised her hand when Mercy’s mouth flew open to protest (for once) quite loudly. “He told me Gary has eyes on us. He’s waiting to see if anyone slips up.”

Mercy wanted to ask what their enemy planned to do if they did mess up in the charade or how Matt even got such intel in the first place. Then common sense kicked in and she realized she didn’t want to know.

Of course they recognized that by Mercedes attending the party they’d attract attention. She was a figurative herbivore in the midst of natural born, blood drinking predators. One thing no one counted on was for Gary to be on top of them so soon, and Mercedes shivered in fear of the thought of his eyes on her, even as they made an innocent forty minute drive.

Wary, she searched the expansive drive way and saw one of the Suburbans parked in the shade. Brian leaned against the back bumper, arms crossed and waiting. He wore his aviators again so Mercy was incapable of reading his mood or take on this new turn of events. But she knew for certain that he was watching her, and if anything that only caused her to panic more. She felt as if she shriveled under his gaze.

Ever aware that his eyes were on her, she sucked a deep breath and nodded through her ruse of self-confidence, feeling silly the whole time. Confident around Synyster Gates? Impossible.

“It’s cool,” she managed to say over the roar of her racing heart. Her hands trembled as she adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder yet again, and that was her only giveaway.

The girls all breathed a collective sigh of relief. No, Mercedes’ reaction wasn’t too severe—she was in too much shock to produce any outward signs of exactly how freaked out she was at the prospect of spending an hour in a car with Brian. She couldn’t quite believe after everything that happened between Matt, Brian and herself that her brother actually wanted her to go with Brian… perhaps he had come to his senses, but Mercy knew still that Matt was only having her do this because there was no other choice.

“Who else is riding with us?” When all she got from the girls was a mute shake of their heads, she stuttered. They couldn’t have been serious.

Scratch being in a car with him. That then was the easy part; being alone in a car with him? She all of the sudden felt very faint, and she clutched her bag as if it was a lifeline.

“Sorry Merc,” Lacey voiced in her usual soft trickle. Not even Val had the nerve to speak up. “But Matt was right. You two have some stuff you need to work out, and this might be your chance.”

Leana held up her hand while she danced away from the group, near skipping in glee with thoughts of tonight’s party. “Yeah, I’m not getting between that.”

Mercedes huffed. She didn’t dare to even look back at Brian, not when she was on the verge of having a panic attack over spending some time alone with him. Even if it was in a car speeding down the freeway. Being so close to him was sure to bring about those same feelings she kept trying and trying to avoid for him.

Val couldn’t help but to laugh then, at the sight of Mercedes having a fit as quietly as possible. Gena and Lacey gave her looks of sympathy, though they seemed as if they were about to laugh too.

Mercedes tried to find the humor in the situation to no avail. “I’m glad you find this funny.”

On a snort of laughter, Val turned the younger woman around and gave her a light-hearted push in Brian’s direction. “Relax, honey. He won’t eat you alive.”

As she made her way over at a hesitant and obvious pace she overhead Gena snicker, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” and then the three girls finally broke down in a fit of laughter. Mercedes couldn’t help but to smile then, too, if only because they seemed to find such humor from a crappy situation.

Crappy for her, at least. She pushed down the nervous, flittering feelings in her belly as she approached Brian.

She recalled the last time she was alone in a car with him, all those weeks ago when the vampire attacked her at the mall. She was thankful to have finally done away with that awful bandage on her neck, though it still left a tender and red mark from the monster of a man’s teeth. And then she remembered how Brian saved her—albeit a little late, but he saved her nonetheless. She remembered she clung to him and he’d let her, and how he carried her to and from the vehicle and into the house. And that he stayed around afterward when he didn’t even have to.

There was undoubtedly more to him than met the eye.

Not good, she chanted to herself. Don’t think about it. You’ll only make yourself seem crazier.

Brian didn’t react to her presence, not even when she stopped a few safe feet away from him. She was only able to tell he was aware of her existence when he reached out to take her bag. In haste she slid it from her shoulder and handed it to him, confused by his behaviour, and made the effort to ensure their hands did not brush when she passed him the bag.

He popped the trunk and laid her bag on top of several metal, ominous looking boxes. All locked securely, they took up the majority of the space in the SUV’s large trunk. Mercy could only guess what was in them. Probably survival supplies or something a lot more violent, like weapons and ammo. Matt had mentioned it after all, and she knew he was serious when it came to everyone’s safety.

Maybe even a supply of blood. Nothing surprised her anymore, and it was no secret that everyone in the house needed blood just as much as all other vampires did.

Before she knew it, she was sitting next to Brian in the passenger seat and he was pulling onto the Pacific Coast Highway. Not a single word had been uttered between the two, and as the drive progressed Mercedes could feel the tension continue to surge.

An unfamiliar metal tune played low on the radio, and it wasn’t enough to fill the awkward silence. Mercedes opened and closed her mouth several times in an effort to find the right thing to say. What could she possibly tell him to make the situation any better—hey, I’m sorry my brother seems to have it out for you since I came around… oh, and I’m having these totally steamy dreams about you almost every night.

He’d probably pull the car over and force her out. Besides, she’d never have the nerve to lay it all out like that anyway. She was at a loss even while she felt as if she had to at least try, that this drive would be a total failure if she didn’t. Maybe tonight would be a little more bearable if she at least attempted to patch things up.

Discreetly, she glanced at him every so often. She found that she was unable to help herself. Today he’d gone the same casual route as she had and he wore another of his grey v-necked t-shirts and a pair camouflage shorts. That wonderful mixture of cologne with an underlying, inoffensive trace of cigarettes permeated the small space. She quickly identified it as his smell, the smell of his hoodie that she still had. She forced herself to uncoil and leaned her head back against the headrest, closing her eyes and breathing deep through her nose. If she relaxed, maybe she’d find something to say to make all of this better.

“Your brother is an idiot,” she jerked when Brian broke the silence, not thirty seconds later. She noticed that his grip on the steering wheel had relaxed, and so she took this as a good sign. She wished he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses—as good as they looked on him—so she could see his expression.

“He means well,” and he did. Mercy was sure of that much.

Brian smiled then, probably at the fact that she was still willing to stick up for her brother. “I guess the oaf does.”

Mercedes was about to let loose a small giggle at Matt being described as an oaf. Sometimes, she admitted, it was fitting. Especially when he wanted to use brawn over brain. But Brian soon turned serious, lips in a hard line while he glanced at her before he focused back on the road. “Listen, Mercedes. I… I want to apologize.”

Stiffening, Mercedes shifted in her seat so she could look at him. “Brian, like I told Matt—none of this is your fault.”

“Some of it is,” he objected, turning heated and angry. He too adjusted himself in his seat, but he didn’t take his eyes off the road. He took one hand from the steering wheel to run through his spiked hair in frustration. She didn’t dare to protest, not again. “In the beginning. I’m sorry for how I treated you then, Mercedes. I am. And I know it’s why Matt doesn’t trust me with you now, but I can’t change the past.”

In possibly her boldest move yet, she reached over on instinct to rest her hand on his forearm. He tensed underneath her hold, but she refused to let go like she otherwise would have. It was obvious Brian felt terrible about this, and in turn she did too. Before today she wasn’t aware he even cared.

“I understand,” she said, and she did.

Her response frustrated Syn even further, however, and she reeled back and watched in fright when he punched the steering wheel. She held onto her door and looked at him with wide, frightened eyes. Only when he glanced at her after several muttered curses did he seem to realize exactly how much he startled her.

He lightened up his foot on the gas and breathed slow and methodically, as if to try and calm himself. “No, Mercy. I don’t want your understanding. I don’t even want you to accept my stupid fucking apology; I just want you to know that I’m sorry.”

Still pressed against the passenger door, Mercedes’ hands shook as she unclenched her hands from around the door panel. She nodded, the movement automatic. It was obvious Brian didn’t want a response, and she didn’t have the nerve to open her mouth again anyway.

It didn’t sound like he was sorry for just picking on her when all of this started—no, it sounded like he was sorry for much, much more.