Wanderlust

Ashlyn awoke the next morning with an internal feeling of dread. Her parents weren’t home yet, she knew that from the quietness of their normally busy, loud house. Not to mention that it was nearing ten a.m. and she was still in bed. Amanda would have definitely woke her up to do something by now if they were home. So she simply laid back for a few minutes and relished in the quiet that she so rarely heard.

At ten thirty, she decided that she should probably get out of bed and get some shit taken care of so that she didn’t hear it too bad from her parents. Besides, the store needed to be opened by noon. And she was definitely going to cut it close without having to throw some laundry in, do the dishes and get the garbage all out. Mandy could clean out the cottages and make sure that everything was taken care of with regards to those when she got home.

She actually made it to the store by the time she should have been open, only to find Mrs. Rogers hanging around sweeping the concrete sidewalk outside of her store, the one adjacent to Ashlyn’s family’s general store. Mr. and Mrs. Rogers had run a small sewing and thrift store for as long as the town had been around, it felt like. Mr. Rogers had passed away the previous year, but Mrs. Rogers still kept the shop going, thanks to tons of help from her loving family.

Ashlyn sent her a smile and a wave, getting one in return as she unlocked the door and smiled at the sights around her. There was something about the store that said “home” to her so much more than her actual house. At her house, there was the constant feeling of sorrow and blame. And then there was the constant denial and the fake front that was put on for the world to see, or at least for the small town to see. Ashlyn hated seeing the pictures of Mandy when she could walk just as much as the next person, so she couldn’t understand why her parents insisted on leaving them up there. All it did was hurt the entire family, yet they insisted upon leaving them all over the house.

The ones that her mother continually dusted on the mantel were the worst, though. They were from Mandy’s cheerleader days and they hurt Ashlyn’s heart to see them every single time she had to walk through the living room. It was almost as though they were put there to remind her that things should have worked out much differently for Mandy.

Mandy had always been the athlete while Ashlyn was the brain. Their family was just like every single family that was portrayed in numerous family sitcoms. So when the accident happened, it immediately put them into a different place with their lives.

“Morning, Ashlyn!” Mr. Wells said as he came into the store to get some fishing lures and other such necessities to take out on the lake with him to fish.

“Morning. Think they’ll bite for you today?” She asked as she began to count how much money was in the register. Her town was small so the need to take money out of the cash register every night was non-existent. Besides, Ashlyn was always under the impression that if someone in their small town needed to break into their small shop and steal the little bit of money that was usually in the register, then they obviously needed it more than she and her family did.

“I sure hope so. Susie is craving some fish and I just do not want to spend the prices that the supermarket wants for fresh fish,” He said as the total came up and Ashlyn read it back to him. He handed her the few dollars and waved as he left the store.

She didn’t see Tom that day and she had found herself disappointed that the blonde haired boy hadn’t graced her with his presence. But she wasn’t going to put too much thought into it. She had never really had a relationship with a boy before. Tom was the first one who wasn’t completely put off by her family situation. So she wasn’t exactly sure how this whole thing worked so she was kind of winging it as she went along. She knew that boys were fickle beings, but Tom had seemed so sure last night. He had said he would be here, though. And she was beyond disappointed that she closed up shop without seeing him. Maybe she would go out to the cabins and see him later. But she thought better of it, thinking the plan sounded like she was stalking him or something.

When she got home, her parents van was in the driveway and she sighed at the thought of talking to them about whatever it was. Her happy, quiet house was now going to be full of Mandy’s complaining and her parents bending to her sister’s every whine and whim. She couldn’t help but take a deep breath of the free air before she walked into the house.

“I’m home!” She yelled as she slid her shoes off and set them by the door, trying to please her mother with the simple act. Her parents found the smallest things to get upset over, and wearing shoes in the house was just one of the many.

“We’re in the living room, Ashlyn,” Her dad replied. And by we’re, she knew that he meant everyone was there. She sighed and walked down the small hallway to the living room to find Mandy sitting by the door, a smile on her face and her parents together on the couch, “How was the shop today?”

She shrugged, “Fine. Same old people coming for the same thing they usually do. But you knew that already. What’s up with you guys?”

“Well, we have a few things to ask you,” Her mom said, taking a sip from the coffee mug that sat precariously on the edge of the table. There was an underlying tension, as always, in the room that her mother did nothing to stop from protruding over the entire damn house like a shadow. And Ashlyn couldn’t help but wonder if every other family had this same sort of thing making its known. She had her doubts about that, but she could never really be sure because friends were not something that had ever come very easily to Ashlyn. Her parents didn’t like for her to have anyone over and they rarely allowed her to go anywhere alone as a child, especially not after the accident.

“What’s up?” She asked, twirling the keys to her car on her fingers. She just needed some sort of stupid thing to keep her from going nuts. Her parents put her on edge constantly.

“Well, we’re going to try a different kind of therapy for Mandy and she might be able to walk again soon,” Her mother began. This was a story that Ashlyn had heard for the longest time that she already dreaded whatever would come next.

“But it’s going to cost a lot of money and we’re not sure that we can afford it and your tuition, honey,” She said and Ashlyn honestly almost lost it. She had sacrificed a lot for this family, but she was not going to sacrifice her last chance at living her own dreams. She physically had to force herself to take a few dozen deep breaths before she answered.

“Look. I have given up a lot for you guys, alright? And, don’t get me wrong, I want Amanda to walk again. But I’m going to give up my college for that. I’m not staying here forever. I physically and mentally cannot take it. If you don’t want to pay for it, fine. I’ll figure out a way to do it myself. But don’t come to me for help, alright?” She said in what she thought was a perfectly calm and complacent way. But the look on her mother’s face told her that she was wrong.

“How dare you! It’s your fault that my daughter is like this, Ashlyn! The least you can do is sacrifice a little bit more! She’ll never walk again because of you and you can’t even give up one little thing to help her? Shame on you,” Her mother told her and it was like time stopped in the house. Ashlyn was the first to speak afterward though.

“Well…at least I know where we stand then, huh?” She said quietly and went up to her room to pack a small bag of only the things that she thought were completely necessary.

She really had nowhere to go. But she would figure it out because there was no way that she would stay in that house.