Hey Stephen

Who ever would have thought break-ups would cause so much damage? I mean I may be only seventeen, and may not know what loves about, but I had strong feelings for Stephen. He was a mysterious boy with a clever sense of humor. His dark brownish-black hair sweeps past his chocolate brown eyes, as he beams at me, without a care; yeah, that’s how I knew. Stephen was the only person who could turn my grey days to pure sunshine. He was an instant lifesaver, that’s why I miss him so much.

I bring my knees to my chest, resting my chin on them. Stephen and I were dating for about three months, steady and strong. We don’t go to the same school, but we do work together. We were inspirable. Every couple wanted to be like us. We just had that sense of passion around each other that drove every one of them insane. The two of us together, we were just too damn fortunate we lasted as long as we did. Why? Stephen just thought we were too clingy and needed space. I assumed that we were just fine the way we were, but I guess not. Needless to say, I’m just stuck in a rut, hoping that maybe he would change his mind and come back to me, but right now all I keep doing it spinning out, leaving an even bigger mess on my hands.

I can’t believe I feel so broken inside. I mean we weren’t dating that long to actually fall in love, but I feel like I have. Maybe, it’s just messing with my head. Maybe, Stephen and I aren’t meant to be and this was all just a big mistake. Maybe, I should just give up.

No, I’m not going to do that. Stephen is a good friend too. I’m not going to give up on what we have. This thing with being too clingy is all just a horrible excuse for what? That’s what I’m going to find out. Stephen is a bad liar. I should have known that from the start, so why did he say that? Is there something about me that he doesn’t like? Is there something I need to change? Does have anything to do with me, or is something I don’t know about him? I’m dying to know.
***

I quickly stand up from my front porch swing and pace off down the steps of my house. I race down the driveway to my Ford Fusion, where the keys were still left in them. Quickly, I start up the ignition and back out without letting the engine warm up. As I back out onto the street and begin driving to go find Stephen at work, all memories of us start flooding my head.

Michelle, you are so funny.

Michelle, I love your laugh.

Michelle, you have a cute smile.

All those comments that make my heart soar above the clouds. Those are the memories that I shall cherish forever, no matter what happens next. Stephen is a great charmer; I only wish that I could do the same to please him. I just want to do something to make it up to him, that we are suppose to be. Again, I’m still not sure on that, but something deep down tells me that we are.

For miles after miles, I waste my time down the highway, driving what felt like hours, only fifteen minutes of pure misery. I finally pull into the employee parking lot and race quickly into the zoo. Yes, we work at the town zoo, because we both love animals. I show my employee id to the security guard and he lets me in.

I swiftly walk around the entire zoo, but there is no Stephen, which is odd because today is his day to work. I went up to one of the stand and see a familiar face, Pamela, who works in the same department as Stephen and I, and also knows us very well.

“Michelle, what are you doing here? Aren’t you off?” Pamela asks, wiping down counters in front of one of the food stands.

I nodded. “I’m looking for Stephen. Isn’t he working today?” I reply, looking around us every so often, incase I would see him.

She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, I left early today. I don’t know why, he just said that he had to go.” She apologizes with a concern expression.

“I could really use a wish right now,” I murmur, follow by a sigh.

Pamela let out a small snicker, not because she wanted to, but because I always quote song lyrics. She puts a hand on my shoulder. “I hope work out between you two. I have a feeling he went looking for you, that’s why he left.” I jerk my head towards her. Yeah, I don’t think he went out of his way to leave early from work to see me. I mean he did when we were dating, but we are slowly drifting apart. Before I can get out another word, Pamela speaks out and says, “I really need to get back to work. If one of the managers sees me talking instead of getting work done, you know what could happen.”

“I know thanks though.” I say softly, as she turns to get back to work. I sigh and close my eyes. What am I going to do now? I have no idea where Stephen is now. I just want to talk to him and make things right.

I walk out of the zoo and back to my car, but don’t get in it. I lean up against the hood of my car, crossing my arms over my chest. I feel tender tears touch my skin, and fall onto my arm.

“I'm sick, and sad, and tired, and angry, and confused. All I want is for you to come back to me, and I pray every second that you will.” I whispered to myself, looking up at the sky one last time, and then back down at the ground.

Stephen isn’t going to keep me this way is he? I mean what kind of man would he be if he did? A selfish, stupid man is what he would be. I shake my head, sigh loudly once again, and stand back up and head to the driver side door, but I stop and gasp. Someone is leaning up next to the door, looking back at me. Who else would it be?

“Stephen, w-what are you doing here?” I stutter, as he just chuckles softly. I attempt not to blush, because he knows every time he laughs, I blush. It’s a bad habit that he thinks is cute.

He shrugs his shoulders, questioning me “I was about ready to ask you the same thing.”

I wish I can find some way to not blush, but he’s too irresistible for that. “I came to get my paycheck,” I fib, placing my hands on my hips, trying to act casual.

He shakes his head. “It’s only Tuesday, paychecks don’t come out until Friday. Plus, I can see you blushing.”

“Stephen, would you just shut up and stop acting like you don’t know already!?” I shoot back angrily, which isn’t intentional, but seeing him in front of me is driving me wild. “This is your entire fault that things are the way they are. Why did you have to lie about us being too clingy? We were fine until you said that we needed space? What is it about me that you don’t like? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me, because I’d love to know.”

Stephen purses his lips, as if he is going to say something smart back, but then he takes in everything that I had said. His expression gets mellow and heartbreaking. I can’t tell why, but something is sure going on and I need to know.

I inhales and exhales slowly. “I messed up, I know. Michelle, I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just that I’m the wrong guy for you. I’m doing bad things that can affect our relationship if we are together. I don’t want you to harm you.” He explains in a caring tone, hoping that I would listen to him. I don’t understand though.

“What kind of things are you doing?” I hesitate, hoping it isn’t as bad as he says it is. I know that if I need to, I can help him overcome it.

The look on his face grows more depressing. “I’m doing drugs, Michelle. I’m doing the worst you can possibly think of. I know you must hate me for lying to you, but I couldn’t let you know about my addiction, that’s why I had to break things the way I did. I care about you too damn much.” He states, walking towards me slowly. I don’t move. I can’t tell if he’s on anything now, but this appears to be the same Stephen I fell for, he’s just… changing. He wraps his hands around mine. I glance down at them as he speaks. “Listen, if you wanna go now after what I told you, that’s fine. That’s what I want you to do, I just don’t want you to leave without me doing this first.”

Stephen roughly, but romantically plants a swift kiss on my lips; our first kiss too. It is defiantly something I had been longing for all my life and you know why? I see fireworks, I feel the zap of lightning through my veins, and I know that once you experience it all, you found them. The one you’ve been waiting for that would show up in your dreams. We were meant to be. I can’t just let this go.

He pulls away from me, as I look in his brown eyes. I smile, as his face is slightly perplexed. “I’ll help you get over this. I’m not leaving you.”

“Why? Aren’t you worried I may hurt you along the process?” Stephen questions uncertainly, as I wrap my around his neck. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I can’t control myself when I’m on this shit.”

I nod and reply nonchalantly, “Love is unstoppable. That’s all you need to know right now.”