Status: Edited
Much of Muchness
Emma's Muchness.
Emma’s body was aching like she had been hit by a truck, but maybe she had been hit by a truck; she couldn’t really tell. She was laying on a smooth surface; she got up with great difficulty, a long brown curl hanging in front of her eyes, she blew it away with a hand movement.
She looked around seeking for the thing that had brought her here: the white rabbit, but it was gone. Emma sighed, thinking that, maybe, her mother's stories were just that...stories. When she was little, her mother, Alice Kingsleigh, had told her tales about a place called Wonderland and Emma always hoped to visit that place too. But now, at age 18, Emma had grown out of the fairytale stage and knew that her mother had just made up Wonderland, along with all its characters, as a bed time story. She knew that there weren’t such things as white rabbits in waistcoats, or maybe they existed in her imagination but that was it; right now she was just lost and had to find her way home.
She looked left and right trying to find something she was familiar with, but she soon realized she was in a very odd place: she was standing in the middle of a giant chess board but there were no chess pieces around; it was like the board stretched down to infinity. Emma pursed her lips, flattened her dress and made to walk, very determined, towards west. But she had barely moved when a white animal rushed across the board. Emma froze and gasped: it was the White Rabbit.
“Wait!” she exclaimed. It was true; after all, the White Rabbit was there. Emma followed it, panting. In her rush to catch up with it, she didn’t notice that the chess board wasn’t bare anymore: large trees and plants were growing around her, standing in her way. Soon, Emma found herself in the middle of a forest, surrounded by large trees with purple bark, strange looking flowers and, when looking down, she saw the grass was blue. “What an odd place. This isn’t how I pictured Wonderland...” she thought; she took one step backwards and jumped when she heard a high-pitched scream.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” the voice came from underneath her heel. Emma looked down and saw a little brown mushroom scowling up at her.
“I’m sorry” Emma muttered “I-I didn’t mean to...” but the mushroom squealed again and, with a pop, vanished under the grass. It didn’t take long for Emma to figure out why the mushroom had hidden: a large creature was casting a shadow over her head. Emma looked up, expecting to see some kind of monster but, instead, she found the White Rabbit... several times bigger. Emma’s look of amazement was only overpowered by her urge to laugh: the Rabbit’s red bulging eyes were the exact same shade as its waistcoat. Emma smiled and held out a hand for the Rabbit to sniff it.
“You’re a cute little creature...” she said. But oh was that the wrong thing to say. The Rabbit’s face contorted into an ugly grimace, it showed two very pointy teeth and growled.
“Uh-oh...” Emma whirled around and started running as fast as she could; branches tangling in her hair and tearing her dress, but she couldn’t care less. She soon saw a door and, without a second glance at the White Rabbit, opened it.
She collapsed on the cold marble floor. Her chest heaved up and down as she got her breath back. “That wasn’t a very friendly bunny” she gasped. It was, however, the same White Rabbit she had seen that morning: she had been sitting on a meadow writing a letter to her mother, who was away on a business trip, when she saw the little white creature hopping around. First she thought the heat was playing games with her head, but the furry animal was as real as she was; without a second thought, she stuffed the letter into her bag and approached the rabbit. But the poor little animal ran away at the sight of her, it hid behind some bushes and, when Emma poked her head in, it came out the other way, heading straight for the road. Emma rushed towards the rabbit, the road was usually empty but she could hear a truck approaching. Just when she reached the asphalt, something casted a big shadow over her; she turned around and saw, with horror, a red truck just a few feet away. She stood there, eyes closed, waiting for a crash that never came: the driver managed to hit the breaks just in time. When Emma opened her eyes she saw the rabbit standing on the opposite side. She apologized to the truck driver, who seemed utterly confused, and sprinted towards the rabbit. She followed the rabbit into a secluded area surrounded by trees and watched it vanish into a rabbit hole. That reminded her of her mother’s story, but that was just a coincidence. “It’s not like I’m going to fall down the rabbit hole” she thought, amused. She decided that, in order to prove her point, she was going to actually enter the rabbit hole. But she was soon proved to be wrong as she fell down and landed on the giant chess board.
Now that she had managed to escape the Giant White Rabbit, Emma was sitting on a small room with a glass table. She smiled, very pleased with herself, remembering what her mother had told her about this place: the key is on the glass table, the little bottle will make you smaller and the cake will make you bigger. She jumped to her feet, shaking a few leaves of her hair and sighing at the sight of her favourite dress ruined (the blue dress had once belonged to her mother, but it had been altered to fit Emma), and looked for the little silver key on the glass table. She grabbed the key, looked around for the little door that she knew was there, and took a couple of gulps from the bottle. She felt like she had a thousand live worms in her stomach fighting to get out, she was beginning to feel a little queasy when she realized she had shrunk to exactly ten inches. She opened her hand to make sure the silver key was still there and smiled, relieved. She opened the door, ready for Wonderland.
****
Emma had been expecting to see a garden, but instead she found herself facing a large dinner table under a big pink cherry tree, in the middle of a meadow, not unlike the one she was sitting in that morning. Several weird characters were gathered around the table; Emma could recognize the Duchess, the March-Hare, the Gryphon, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the Lion and the Unicorn, and an old pack of playing cards sprawled all over the grass. Emma cleared her throat to make herself known. Nobody seemed to pay any attention to her.
“My dear child” said the Duchess, putting ungodly amounts of pepper onto her bowl “If you wish to sit down, just do so”. Emma blushed but sat down at the table. A very battered Queen of Hearts came running in with a bowl of mock-turtle soup.
“Oh” said Emma, only mildly surprised “So that’s where you ended up”. The Queen of Hearts frowned and pointed to an egg-cup. Emma directed her attention to it: what she had taken for a hard-boiled egg was in fact Humpty Dumpty muttering to himself.
“’Tis very provoking...” the little egg said.
“I beg your pardon?” whispered Emma.
“I said, ‘tis very provoking” said the egg a little louder “Very provoking...”
“What is?” asked Emma. But the egg didn’t reply and Emma didn’t wish to actually provoke him.
When Emma looked up she saw a very familiar bushy orange hair under a large purple hat. “The Mad-Hatter!” thought Emma. But then, that means...
“Wait a minute!” shouted Emma, jumping to her feet. Everyone started at her, spoons suspended under their mouths.
“I thought this was supposed to be a tea-party!” she said, indignantly. She looked straight into the Mad-Hatter’s big yellow eyes; he looked amused by her reaction. An angry whisper travelled across the table; Emma began to feel very embarrassed by her audacity and sank back into her chair. People where staring at her outraged, she blushed so deeply she resembled a large cranberry.
“And who are you?” Emma heard the voice near her left ear. She looked down on her shoulder to find a blue butterfly. She smiled.
“I’m Emma Kingsleigh” she said.
“Kingsleigh?!” a new whisper travelled through the table, except this time it was full of curiosity.
“You’re Alice’s daughter” said the Mad-Hatter from across the table.
“Yes” said Emma. The table went very quiet. Emma was looking into the Hatter’s eyes in a very dignified way, but he was just looking at her like he had been expecting to see her anytime “Are you going to tell me why are we having dinner? I know this is supposed to be a tea-party!”
“Time fixed himself” said the Hatter.
“I’m sorry?” said Emma politely as she raised one quizzical eyebrow.
“The Queen of Hearts apologized to Time. But then she insulted him again and now it’s always 5:30” said the Hatter shrugging. Emma opened her mouth to say something but the look on the Hatter’s face stopped her. He gave her a very mischievous smile and said, in a low voice, “Come. We must speak”.
Emma gulped. The blue butterfly flew away and everyone who was gathered around the dinner table watched her go with concern in their eyes.
“I thought tea time was dinner time” said Emma, once the Hatter and her were alone. The Hatter chuckled.
“Did your mother ever figure out the riddle?” he asked.
“No” said Emma, she laughed too. She had been trying to figure out the riddle herself, but she never managed to do it.
“You’re 18 years old” said the Hatter, as if it was a very common thing to state people’s age. Emma was completely puzzled, she knew the Mad- Hatter was, well, mad, but she always found him a very endearing character; she was, in fact, looking forward to meet him once she learned where she was.
“Indeed, I am” answered Emma, eyeing the Hatter suspiciously. They walked for a little while; the noise from the table under the pink cherry tree was gone. They found a path that led into the forest but, upon entering, Emma stopped and, without really thinking why she did it, grabbed the Hatter’s arm. He looked at her with curiosity, his big eyes piercing hers.
“I’m sorry” said Emma, letting him go.
“I could feel your muchness...” he said, in a very dreamy voice.
“My what?” asked Emma.
“Your muchness...” repeated the Hatter, tilting his head to the right so much that his hat almost fell to the ground. Emma had to fight the urge to laugh out loud as the Hatter said “Your muchness... I really like it, you know? You have so much of it...”
“Well” she said, smiling “I could feel yours too.”
“Really?” the Hatter’s eyes became, if possible, even bigger.
“Yes” said Emma “And I really like it”.
The Hatter smiled in a way that made Emma blush, he took her hands into his and, without so much as a warning, pulled her into a tight embrace. He smelled of freshly baked treacle tart and heavy rain.
“I knew someone would come” he whispered into her ear.
“What do you mean?” asked Emma, pulling away from the hug. The Hatter looked into Emma’s bright green eyes like he was trying to read her soul.
“Someone who could feel my muchness. No one has ever been able to feel it.”
“Oh?” Emma thought that, up close, the Hatter looked less mad: his hair wasn’t really orange, it was more like a coppery brown; his eyes weren’t really yellow, they looked more like dark hazel. Emma was standing on her tiptoes, looking right into the Hatter’s eyes; he parted his lips a little bit, tilted his head to the side and leaned towards Emma’s mouth. But he stopped. He smiled and then started laughing madly. He pushed Emma away and started jumping about like a mad goat, while the poor girl, who had fallen to the ground, stood there, close to tears.
“He had me totally bamboozled” she said in a whisper, looking at the Hatter rolling with laughter on the ground a few feet away from her.
“He is mad after all” said a distant voice. Emma turned her head around; she wasn’t surprised to see the Cheshire Cat floating above her head “Remember what I told your mother?” said the Cat.
“Yes” said Emma very firmly “You’re all mad here”.
The Cat’s smile became bigger, it whirled in mid-air ending up-side down, though Emma couldn’t really tell which side was up and which was down.
“That’s right” said the Cheshire Cat “So, smile sweet child, it confuses people”.
Emma grinned as the Cat vanished with a puff of purple smoke. The Hatter suddenly stopped laughing and got to his feet; he walked towards Emma and held out a hand for her. She took it with a frown.
“I’m sorry about that” said the Hatter “I was just so very happy”.
“About what?” asked Emma appalled.
“Nobody has ever been able to feel my muchness, you’re the first one. And that makes you special.” His eyes twinkled but Emma could only purse her lips. She looked at the forest and explained why she was afraid of going in: the Giant White Rabbit might still be in there.
“You mean that one?” asked the Hatter, as a furry White Rabbit in a red waistcoat came hopping happily towards them.
“Sorry about that, young miss” said the Rabbit to Emma “I didn’t mean to scare you”.
“It’s alright” said Emma. The Rabbit hopped away, heading towards the dinner table. The Hatter smiled at Emma who soon realized the forest was gone.
“What an odd place this is” she said with amazement.
“It is Wonderland” said the Hatter with a deep sigh “I must apologize again. I am mad, you know?” Emma nodded, scared that he might start laughing again.
“But I always thought I was mad because I didn’t have anybody to share my muchness with” the Hatter continued, after a brief pause “Do you wish to share it?” He gave Emma a very wide smile. The Cheshire Cat was right: smiles were confusing.
“What do you mean sharing?” she asked “I didn’t know muchness could be shared?”
“Of course it can!” said the Hatter, bouncing up and down with joy “Let me tell you how it’s done: first you need to close your eyes...” he looked at her as if expecting her to do so; Emma blinked stupidly but shut her eyes.
“Now” continued the Hatter “Empty your mind of all thoughts of your previous life...” Emma wondered how she could such thing “Become a part of Wonderland and now... pucker up!”
Emma opened her eyes with surprise as the Hatter lunged at her and pecked her on the lips, rather roughly. He looked at her with his big golden eyes and started laughing again. Emma sighed, wondering if the Hatter will ever be able to show other emotion apart from excessive joy. It was at that moment that Emma saw a bug fly in front of her; it buzzed around and stood on her shoulder, tickling Emma’s skin.
“Ew!” she said with disgust “What an awful thing!” and, without a trace of remorse, smashed the poor little bug. Suddenly the sky went completely grey and the Hatter froze on the spot.
“You smashed a Rocking-horse fly...” he said, quietly.
“A what?” asked Emma, bemused. The Hatter gasped as he lunged at her, grabbed her hand and sprinted towards the cherry tree.
“Wait!” yelled Emma “What’s going on?” There was no need to explain: a horde of flying insects were approaching rapidly, zooming madly at them. Emma understood that killing that bug wasn’t a very wise thing to do. As they rushed past the dinner table, Emma could see, as if in slow motion, the Duchess (who had managed to make a heap of pepper on her bowl) sneezing and cursing at the low quality of the spices. Humpty Dumpty had fallen of the egg-cup and the March Hare was licking it away happily. Tweedledee and Tweedledum were having a heated argument with the Gryphon about the contents of the mock-turtle soup, while the Lion and the Unicorn had engaged in a very silly battle over who should start eating first.
The Hatter jumped and propelled both him and Emma to the top of the tree, right before the raging Rocking-horse flies attacked them. Emma landed on a very wide branch, amongst pink leaves that looked like cotton candy, she could still hear the insects zooming outside, but the Hatter explained they didn’t really like cherries, so they wouldn’t harm them there. Emma then saw a couple of birds bickering about something.
“This is my tree!” complained a Humming Bird.
“It is no! This is public property!” answered the Sparrow.
“No, it isn’t; it’s mine!”
“I don’t see your name written in it!”
Suddenly, the little Sparrow vanished and the Humming Bird flew away. A wide smile materialised out of thin air, then a pair of big green eyes and then a cat’s face was fully formed.
“Oh, Cheshire... you didn’t...” said Emma, bringing a hand to her mouth.
The Cheshire Cat smiled and opened his mouth to reveal the little squeaking brown mushroom Emma had stepped on earlier that day. She laughed not knowing what else to do.
“I thought we were having a tea-party...” said the Cat. The Hatter smiled and took his hat off. Emma wondered if he was going to pull a rabbit out of it, but instead he took out cups and saucers, a tea pot and a basket of scones. He poured Emma a cup of tea and offered her a scone, while the Cat licked the few milk drops that had fallen on the branch.
“Hatter” said Emma after a while. He looked up as he buttered a piece of scone “I’ve thought about it...and...I think I want to go home...” she didn’t know why, but she suddenly started sobbing bitterly and threw herself at the Hatter, crying on his chest. He patted her on the back, but then he hugged her tightly.
“It’s ok” he whispered “You’ll be home soon, why are you crying?”
“Because I don’t want to leave you!” she said “I want to stay with you forever, but this place is very scary and I don’t want to be killed by a stampede of raging tea-cups!”
“Raging tea-cups?” said the Hatter. He cupped her hand and looked her straight in the eye. He smiled. Not the mad smile, no, a lovingly smile; a smile so warm and tender, Emma had to make an amazing effort not the melt into a puddle. He wiped her tears of very gently and said, in a barely audible whisper:
“Thank you for letting me share my muchness with you”.
“I didn’t get to share mine with you...” she replied, with a wicked glint in her eye. The Hatter smiled and kissed her very softly on the lips. Emma felt the Hatter’s warmth spreading from her mouth to the tip of her toes. She hugged him tightly, digging her face into his shoulder, as he whispered into her ear:
“Are you ready?”
She nodded. The Hatter put all his weight on top of her, making them both fall of the tree. Emma braced herself for the crash, but when she peered out, she realized they were plummeting down, into the void. She screamed but the Hatter only held her closer to him.
“I don’t want to leave you!” she said, fat tears pouring down her cheeks and flying in every direction.
“You won’t. You’ll come back. I promise!” he said “I would never leave you. Never.”
Emma shut her eyes. She could still hear the Hatter’s heart beating; she could feel his hands on her back and smell his skin. The she heard a distant, dreamy voice that said:
“It’s time...”
A bright light blinded her and she didn’t know more.
*****
Emma Kingsleigh opened her eyes to find her mother, Alice, smiling down at her.
“What happened?” said Emma, she was about to ask for the Hatter and the Cheshire Cat when she understood it had all been a dream.
“You fainted” said her mother, pulling some stubborn curls out of her daughter’s face “It was very hot in that meadow and the truck gave you quite a fright. But you’re ok now. You should rest, dear”.
Emma nodded, she felt close to tears. She rolled on her back and covered her face with the blanket. She felt her mother kissing her as she whispered into her ear:
“You’ll go back. Trust me.”
She pushed a small piece of paper into her hand and left the room.
Emma opened her hand to find a very battered piece of yellow paper. It had the numbers ten and six written like this: 10/6. She turned it around and found, in a very curvy letter, a little note that said: “I said I’d never leave you...”
Emma closed her eyes and fell asleep, beaming, clenching the note in her hand.
She looked around seeking for the thing that had brought her here: the white rabbit, but it was gone. Emma sighed, thinking that, maybe, her mother's stories were just that...stories. When she was little, her mother, Alice Kingsleigh, had told her tales about a place called Wonderland and Emma always hoped to visit that place too. But now, at age 18, Emma had grown out of the fairytale stage and knew that her mother had just made up Wonderland, along with all its characters, as a bed time story. She knew that there weren’t such things as white rabbits in waistcoats, or maybe they existed in her imagination but that was it; right now she was just lost and had to find her way home.
She looked left and right trying to find something she was familiar with, but she soon realized she was in a very odd place: she was standing in the middle of a giant chess board but there were no chess pieces around; it was like the board stretched down to infinity. Emma pursed her lips, flattened her dress and made to walk, very determined, towards west. But she had barely moved when a white animal rushed across the board. Emma froze and gasped: it was the White Rabbit.
“Wait!” she exclaimed. It was true; after all, the White Rabbit was there. Emma followed it, panting. In her rush to catch up with it, she didn’t notice that the chess board wasn’t bare anymore: large trees and plants were growing around her, standing in her way. Soon, Emma found herself in the middle of a forest, surrounded by large trees with purple bark, strange looking flowers and, when looking down, she saw the grass was blue. “What an odd place. This isn’t how I pictured Wonderland...” she thought; she took one step backwards and jumped when she heard a high-pitched scream.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” the voice came from underneath her heel. Emma looked down and saw a little brown mushroom scowling up at her.
“I’m sorry” Emma muttered “I-I didn’t mean to...” but the mushroom squealed again and, with a pop, vanished under the grass. It didn’t take long for Emma to figure out why the mushroom had hidden: a large creature was casting a shadow over her head. Emma looked up, expecting to see some kind of monster but, instead, she found the White Rabbit... several times bigger. Emma’s look of amazement was only overpowered by her urge to laugh: the Rabbit’s red bulging eyes were the exact same shade as its waistcoat. Emma smiled and held out a hand for the Rabbit to sniff it.
“You’re a cute little creature...” she said. But oh was that the wrong thing to say. The Rabbit’s face contorted into an ugly grimace, it showed two very pointy teeth and growled.
“Uh-oh...” Emma whirled around and started running as fast as she could; branches tangling in her hair and tearing her dress, but she couldn’t care less. She soon saw a door and, without a second glance at the White Rabbit, opened it.
She collapsed on the cold marble floor. Her chest heaved up and down as she got her breath back. “That wasn’t a very friendly bunny” she gasped. It was, however, the same White Rabbit she had seen that morning: she had been sitting on a meadow writing a letter to her mother, who was away on a business trip, when she saw the little white creature hopping around. First she thought the heat was playing games with her head, but the furry animal was as real as she was; without a second thought, she stuffed the letter into her bag and approached the rabbit. But the poor little animal ran away at the sight of her, it hid behind some bushes and, when Emma poked her head in, it came out the other way, heading straight for the road. Emma rushed towards the rabbit, the road was usually empty but she could hear a truck approaching. Just when she reached the asphalt, something casted a big shadow over her; she turned around and saw, with horror, a red truck just a few feet away. She stood there, eyes closed, waiting for a crash that never came: the driver managed to hit the breaks just in time. When Emma opened her eyes she saw the rabbit standing on the opposite side. She apologized to the truck driver, who seemed utterly confused, and sprinted towards the rabbit. She followed the rabbit into a secluded area surrounded by trees and watched it vanish into a rabbit hole. That reminded her of her mother’s story, but that was just a coincidence. “It’s not like I’m going to fall down the rabbit hole” she thought, amused. She decided that, in order to prove her point, she was going to actually enter the rabbit hole. But she was soon proved to be wrong as she fell down and landed on the giant chess board.
Now that she had managed to escape the Giant White Rabbit, Emma was sitting on a small room with a glass table. She smiled, very pleased with herself, remembering what her mother had told her about this place: the key is on the glass table, the little bottle will make you smaller and the cake will make you bigger. She jumped to her feet, shaking a few leaves of her hair and sighing at the sight of her favourite dress ruined (the blue dress had once belonged to her mother, but it had been altered to fit Emma), and looked for the little silver key on the glass table. She grabbed the key, looked around for the little door that she knew was there, and took a couple of gulps from the bottle. She felt like she had a thousand live worms in her stomach fighting to get out, she was beginning to feel a little queasy when she realized she had shrunk to exactly ten inches. She opened her hand to make sure the silver key was still there and smiled, relieved. She opened the door, ready for Wonderland.
****
Emma had been expecting to see a garden, but instead she found herself facing a large dinner table under a big pink cherry tree, in the middle of a meadow, not unlike the one she was sitting in that morning. Several weird characters were gathered around the table; Emma could recognize the Duchess, the March-Hare, the Gryphon, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the Lion and the Unicorn, and an old pack of playing cards sprawled all over the grass. Emma cleared her throat to make herself known. Nobody seemed to pay any attention to her.
“My dear child” said the Duchess, putting ungodly amounts of pepper onto her bowl “If you wish to sit down, just do so”. Emma blushed but sat down at the table. A very battered Queen of Hearts came running in with a bowl of mock-turtle soup.
“Oh” said Emma, only mildly surprised “So that’s where you ended up”. The Queen of Hearts frowned and pointed to an egg-cup. Emma directed her attention to it: what she had taken for a hard-boiled egg was in fact Humpty Dumpty muttering to himself.
“’Tis very provoking...” the little egg said.
“I beg your pardon?” whispered Emma.
“I said, ‘tis very provoking” said the egg a little louder “Very provoking...”
“What is?” asked Emma. But the egg didn’t reply and Emma didn’t wish to actually provoke him.
When Emma looked up she saw a very familiar bushy orange hair under a large purple hat. “The Mad-Hatter!” thought Emma. But then, that means...
“Wait a minute!” shouted Emma, jumping to her feet. Everyone started at her, spoons suspended under their mouths.
“I thought this was supposed to be a tea-party!” she said, indignantly. She looked straight into the Mad-Hatter’s big yellow eyes; he looked amused by her reaction. An angry whisper travelled across the table; Emma began to feel very embarrassed by her audacity and sank back into her chair. People where staring at her outraged, she blushed so deeply she resembled a large cranberry.
“And who are you?” Emma heard the voice near her left ear. She looked down on her shoulder to find a blue butterfly. She smiled.
“I’m Emma Kingsleigh” she said.
“Kingsleigh?!” a new whisper travelled through the table, except this time it was full of curiosity.
“You’re Alice’s daughter” said the Mad-Hatter from across the table.
“Yes” said Emma. The table went very quiet. Emma was looking into the Hatter’s eyes in a very dignified way, but he was just looking at her like he had been expecting to see her anytime “Are you going to tell me why are we having dinner? I know this is supposed to be a tea-party!”
“Time fixed himself” said the Hatter.
“I’m sorry?” said Emma politely as she raised one quizzical eyebrow.
“The Queen of Hearts apologized to Time. But then she insulted him again and now it’s always 5:30” said the Hatter shrugging. Emma opened her mouth to say something but the look on the Hatter’s face stopped her. He gave her a very mischievous smile and said, in a low voice, “Come. We must speak”.
Emma gulped. The blue butterfly flew away and everyone who was gathered around the dinner table watched her go with concern in their eyes.
“I thought tea time was dinner time” said Emma, once the Hatter and her were alone. The Hatter chuckled.
“Did your mother ever figure out the riddle?” he asked.
“No” said Emma, she laughed too. She had been trying to figure out the riddle herself, but she never managed to do it.
“You’re 18 years old” said the Hatter, as if it was a very common thing to state people’s age. Emma was completely puzzled, she knew the Mad- Hatter was, well, mad, but she always found him a very endearing character; she was, in fact, looking forward to meet him once she learned where she was.
“Indeed, I am” answered Emma, eyeing the Hatter suspiciously. They walked for a little while; the noise from the table under the pink cherry tree was gone. They found a path that led into the forest but, upon entering, Emma stopped and, without really thinking why she did it, grabbed the Hatter’s arm. He looked at her with curiosity, his big eyes piercing hers.
“I’m sorry” said Emma, letting him go.
“I could feel your muchness...” he said, in a very dreamy voice.
“My what?” asked Emma.
“Your muchness...” repeated the Hatter, tilting his head to the right so much that his hat almost fell to the ground. Emma had to fight the urge to laugh out loud as the Hatter said “Your muchness... I really like it, you know? You have so much of it...”
“Well” she said, smiling “I could feel yours too.”
“Really?” the Hatter’s eyes became, if possible, even bigger.
“Yes” said Emma “And I really like it”.
The Hatter smiled in a way that made Emma blush, he took her hands into his and, without so much as a warning, pulled her into a tight embrace. He smelled of freshly baked treacle tart and heavy rain.
“I knew someone would come” he whispered into her ear.
“What do you mean?” asked Emma, pulling away from the hug. The Hatter looked into Emma’s bright green eyes like he was trying to read her soul.
“Someone who could feel my muchness. No one has ever been able to feel it.”
“Oh?” Emma thought that, up close, the Hatter looked less mad: his hair wasn’t really orange, it was more like a coppery brown; his eyes weren’t really yellow, they looked more like dark hazel. Emma was standing on her tiptoes, looking right into the Hatter’s eyes; he parted his lips a little bit, tilted his head to the side and leaned towards Emma’s mouth. But he stopped. He smiled and then started laughing madly. He pushed Emma away and started jumping about like a mad goat, while the poor girl, who had fallen to the ground, stood there, close to tears.
“He had me totally bamboozled” she said in a whisper, looking at the Hatter rolling with laughter on the ground a few feet away from her.
“He is mad after all” said a distant voice. Emma turned her head around; she wasn’t surprised to see the Cheshire Cat floating above her head “Remember what I told your mother?” said the Cat.
“Yes” said Emma very firmly “You’re all mad here”.
The Cat’s smile became bigger, it whirled in mid-air ending up-side down, though Emma couldn’t really tell which side was up and which was down.
“That’s right” said the Cheshire Cat “So, smile sweet child, it confuses people”.
Emma grinned as the Cat vanished with a puff of purple smoke. The Hatter suddenly stopped laughing and got to his feet; he walked towards Emma and held out a hand for her. She took it with a frown.
“I’m sorry about that” said the Hatter “I was just so very happy”.
“About what?” asked Emma appalled.
“Nobody has ever been able to feel my muchness, you’re the first one. And that makes you special.” His eyes twinkled but Emma could only purse her lips. She looked at the forest and explained why she was afraid of going in: the Giant White Rabbit might still be in there.
“You mean that one?” asked the Hatter, as a furry White Rabbit in a red waistcoat came hopping happily towards them.
“Sorry about that, young miss” said the Rabbit to Emma “I didn’t mean to scare you”.
“It’s alright” said Emma. The Rabbit hopped away, heading towards the dinner table. The Hatter smiled at Emma who soon realized the forest was gone.
“What an odd place this is” she said with amazement.
“It is Wonderland” said the Hatter with a deep sigh “I must apologize again. I am mad, you know?” Emma nodded, scared that he might start laughing again.
“But I always thought I was mad because I didn’t have anybody to share my muchness with” the Hatter continued, after a brief pause “Do you wish to share it?” He gave Emma a very wide smile. The Cheshire Cat was right: smiles were confusing.
“What do you mean sharing?” she asked “I didn’t know muchness could be shared?”
“Of course it can!” said the Hatter, bouncing up and down with joy “Let me tell you how it’s done: first you need to close your eyes...” he looked at her as if expecting her to do so; Emma blinked stupidly but shut her eyes.
“Now” continued the Hatter “Empty your mind of all thoughts of your previous life...” Emma wondered how she could such thing “Become a part of Wonderland and now... pucker up!”
Emma opened her eyes with surprise as the Hatter lunged at her and pecked her on the lips, rather roughly. He looked at her with his big golden eyes and started laughing again. Emma sighed, wondering if the Hatter will ever be able to show other emotion apart from excessive joy. It was at that moment that Emma saw a bug fly in front of her; it buzzed around and stood on her shoulder, tickling Emma’s skin.
“Ew!” she said with disgust “What an awful thing!” and, without a trace of remorse, smashed the poor little bug. Suddenly the sky went completely grey and the Hatter froze on the spot.
“You smashed a Rocking-horse fly...” he said, quietly.
“A what?” asked Emma, bemused. The Hatter gasped as he lunged at her, grabbed her hand and sprinted towards the cherry tree.
“Wait!” yelled Emma “What’s going on?” There was no need to explain: a horde of flying insects were approaching rapidly, zooming madly at them. Emma understood that killing that bug wasn’t a very wise thing to do. As they rushed past the dinner table, Emma could see, as if in slow motion, the Duchess (who had managed to make a heap of pepper on her bowl) sneezing and cursing at the low quality of the spices. Humpty Dumpty had fallen of the egg-cup and the March Hare was licking it away happily. Tweedledee and Tweedledum were having a heated argument with the Gryphon about the contents of the mock-turtle soup, while the Lion and the Unicorn had engaged in a very silly battle over who should start eating first.
The Hatter jumped and propelled both him and Emma to the top of the tree, right before the raging Rocking-horse flies attacked them. Emma landed on a very wide branch, amongst pink leaves that looked like cotton candy, she could still hear the insects zooming outside, but the Hatter explained they didn’t really like cherries, so they wouldn’t harm them there. Emma then saw a couple of birds bickering about something.
“This is my tree!” complained a Humming Bird.
“It is no! This is public property!” answered the Sparrow.
“No, it isn’t; it’s mine!”
“I don’t see your name written in it!”
Suddenly, the little Sparrow vanished and the Humming Bird flew away. A wide smile materialised out of thin air, then a pair of big green eyes and then a cat’s face was fully formed.
“Oh, Cheshire... you didn’t...” said Emma, bringing a hand to her mouth.
The Cheshire Cat smiled and opened his mouth to reveal the little squeaking brown mushroom Emma had stepped on earlier that day. She laughed not knowing what else to do.
“I thought we were having a tea-party...” said the Cat. The Hatter smiled and took his hat off. Emma wondered if he was going to pull a rabbit out of it, but instead he took out cups and saucers, a tea pot and a basket of scones. He poured Emma a cup of tea and offered her a scone, while the Cat licked the few milk drops that had fallen on the branch.
“Hatter” said Emma after a while. He looked up as he buttered a piece of scone “I’ve thought about it...and...I think I want to go home...” she didn’t know why, but she suddenly started sobbing bitterly and threw herself at the Hatter, crying on his chest. He patted her on the back, but then he hugged her tightly.
“It’s ok” he whispered “You’ll be home soon, why are you crying?”
“Because I don’t want to leave you!” she said “I want to stay with you forever, but this place is very scary and I don’t want to be killed by a stampede of raging tea-cups!”
“Raging tea-cups?” said the Hatter. He cupped her hand and looked her straight in the eye. He smiled. Not the mad smile, no, a lovingly smile; a smile so warm and tender, Emma had to make an amazing effort not the melt into a puddle. He wiped her tears of very gently and said, in a barely audible whisper:
“Thank you for letting me share my muchness with you”.
“I didn’t get to share mine with you...” she replied, with a wicked glint in her eye. The Hatter smiled and kissed her very softly on the lips. Emma felt the Hatter’s warmth spreading from her mouth to the tip of her toes. She hugged him tightly, digging her face into his shoulder, as he whispered into her ear:
“Are you ready?”
She nodded. The Hatter put all his weight on top of her, making them both fall of the tree. Emma braced herself for the crash, but when she peered out, she realized they were plummeting down, into the void. She screamed but the Hatter only held her closer to him.
“I don’t want to leave you!” she said, fat tears pouring down her cheeks and flying in every direction.
“You won’t. You’ll come back. I promise!” he said “I would never leave you. Never.”
Emma shut her eyes. She could still hear the Hatter’s heart beating; she could feel his hands on her back and smell his skin. The she heard a distant, dreamy voice that said:
“It’s time...”
A bright light blinded her and she didn’t know more.
*****
Emma Kingsleigh opened her eyes to find her mother, Alice, smiling down at her.
“What happened?” said Emma, she was about to ask for the Hatter and the Cheshire Cat when she understood it had all been a dream.
“You fainted” said her mother, pulling some stubborn curls out of her daughter’s face “It was very hot in that meadow and the truck gave you quite a fright. But you’re ok now. You should rest, dear”.
Emma nodded, she felt close to tears. She rolled on her back and covered her face with the blanket. She felt her mother kissing her as she whispered into her ear:
“You’ll go back. Trust me.”
She pushed a small piece of paper into her hand and left the room.
Emma opened her hand to find a very battered piece of yellow paper. It had the numbers ten and six written like this: 10/6. She turned it around and found, in a very curvy letter, a little note that said: “I said I’d never leave you...”
Emma closed her eyes and fell asleep, beaming, clenching the note in her hand.