Is It Me You're Looking For?
1/1
Kurt sat in the Glee room alone, needing to find a place of solace and peace and quiet. He was still shaken up about the fight he and Finn had had last night. Kurt hadn’t gone upstairs for dinner last night, opting instead to have his father bring it down to him. His dad was angrier about Finn’s choice of words than Kurt, and it was apparent in the way Burt was acting fiercely protective. Kurt appreciated his dad’s need to protect him, but he couldn’t sit at the breakfast table and watch his dad glare at Finn while Finn tried to make it all better again.
Kurt had woken up an hour earlier than usual, getting dressed quickly and speeding through his morning process. He left a note for his dad in his neat handwriting, explaining that he had gone to school earlier than usual to get some tutoring in math.
He didn’t need the tutoring, obviously, but it would give him an excuse to come to school early. He had convinced one of the janitors to let him into the Glee room, and now he sat in the completely silent room alone. He had put his stuff down in his usual seat up in the risers, and had moved down to the piano bench. His eyes wandered over the keys, his fingers itching to play but his mind unable to break the silence in the room.
He exhaled, giving in to what his hands wanted. His fingers started moving across the keys, a bit clumsily at first, but soon becoming smooth, graceful. Playing piano was like riding a bike for Kurt, it didn’t matter how long it had been since he had played, he would never forget. He wasn’t sure what he was playing or if he was really playing anything, he was just…playing. The notes flowed out of the beautiful music making machine and filled the previously silent room, surrounding Kurt with music that soothed him.
He was so wrapped up in the music and playing that he didn’t notice when the door to the room swung open quietly, or when someone walked in. He didn’t even notice they were there until they spoke.
“Kurt?”
Kurt jumped, causing his hands to hit the wrong key, ending the song on a sour note. He turned, fully prepared to yell at whoever it was that had disturbed him. He blinked twice, caught off-guard by the sight of Finn.
“Finn.” Kurt’s voice was short and clipped, and he turned around, fully prepared to keep playing. “Why are you here?”
“Uh, your dad said you were at school. He said something about math tutoring, but you’re too smart for that kind of stuff, so I came here.” Finn said quietly, almost shyly.
“Well, you found me. What do you want?” Kurt asked, putting his foot on the soft pedal as he started to play, so he could listen to Finn and the piano at the same time.
“I want to say I’m sorry, Kurt, you know I didn’t mean any of wha-”
Kurt held up a hand, silencing him.
“Finn, I don’t want to hear your excuses. You did mean it. You meant every word you said. I was trying to accommodate you; I was trying to be nice to you. I was only thinking of you, and you threw it all back in my face. I thought you were different, Finn Hudson. You seemed to not care that I was gay, you accepted that I was still a human being with feelings. But it seemed I was wrong.” Kurt said, feeling the familiar burning of tears in his eyes. He turned away from Finn, starting to play the piano again. The notes felt more familiar this time, and he recognized the song quickly.
It was one his mother used to play whenever he would get upset, and it was one of the first songs he learned. It was one of her favorites. Hello by Lionel Richie. Kurt blinked the tears away as he played furiously, the music flowing out of the piano. It was quiet in the room save for the music, and Kurt had almost forgotten Finn was there until he spoke again.
“Hello? By Lionel Richie?”
Kurt didn’t stop playing, speaking snippily over the music.
“Yes, as a matter of fact. I’m sorry, does it bother you? Is it too faggy for you?” He spat. Finn winced at the harsh word, realizing how much he had really hurt Kurt.
“No, no. Uh, it’s just, my dad used to play that for my mom. She plays the record every year on his birthday and their anniversary.” Finn said quietly, shuffling his feet nervously near the door. Kurt didn’t glance up or make any outward movement to show his surprise, but surprised he was. He didn’t think that he would share something so precious to him with Finn, of all people.
He jumped slightly when Finn sat down next to him on the piano bench, but he scooted over so Finn would have room to sit. He continued playing, needing to calm his frazzled nerves.
I’ve been alone with you inside my mind, Finn started singing softly, quietly, his voice blending with the piano. Kurt’s eyes widened softly; Finn wasn’t really going to sing this song, was he?
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times, Finn continued to sing, answering Kurt’s mental question. Kurt felt his fingers start to shake.
I sometimes see you pass outside my door, Kurt sang quietly, surprising Finn and himself. His fingers continued to fly across the piano keys, graceful as ever.
Hello, is it me you’re looking for? They sang together on the next line, their voices a perfect blend of high and low.
I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile, you’re all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide, Finn sang, his voice gaining volume. Kurt felt his heart falter, and his shaky fingers turned into shaky hands, and then shaky arms.
'Cause you know just what to say, and you know just what to do, and I want to tell you so much, I… Kurt’s voice started to waver and his fingers stopped playing. “I can’t do this,” He breathed, pushing away from the piano, from the bench, from Finn.
“I’m sorry, I can’t, I…bye,” He whispered frantically, scrambling up the risers, grabbing his bag and running out the door, the most ungraceful he had ever been around anyone. He ran out the door, letting his slam behind him. Finn jumped when the door slammed, watching with wide and upset eyes as Kurt ran from him. He buried his face in his hands, running one hand through his hair. He had seriously screwed up, and he knew it.
Kurt sank to the ground outside of the Glee room. Normally, he would never let his stark-white Marc Jacobs pants come anywhere near the dirty floors of McKinley, but this was a desperate situation. He buried his face in his hands, careful not to mess up his hair.
And I want to tell you so much, I love you, he sang, his voice breaking at the end of the note as he finally let go and started to sob.
Kurt had woken up an hour earlier than usual, getting dressed quickly and speeding through his morning process. He left a note for his dad in his neat handwriting, explaining that he had gone to school earlier than usual to get some tutoring in math.
He didn’t need the tutoring, obviously, but it would give him an excuse to come to school early. He had convinced one of the janitors to let him into the Glee room, and now he sat in the completely silent room alone. He had put his stuff down in his usual seat up in the risers, and had moved down to the piano bench. His eyes wandered over the keys, his fingers itching to play but his mind unable to break the silence in the room.
He exhaled, giving in to what his hands wanted. His fingers started moving across the keys, a bit clumsily at first, but soon becoming smooth, graceful. Playing piano was like riding a bike for Kurt, it didn’t matter how long it had been since he had played, he would never forget. He wasn’t sure what he was playing or if he was really playing anything, he was just…playing. The notes flowed out of the beautiful music making machine and filled the previously silent room, surrounding Kurt with music that soothed him.
He was so wrapped up in the music and playing that he didn’t notice when the door to the room swung open quietly, or when someone walked in. He didn’t even notice they were there until they spoke.
“Kurt?”
Kurt jumped, causing his hands to hit the wrong key, ending the song on a sour note. He turned, fully prepared to yell at whoever it was that had disturbed him. He blinked twice, caught off-guard by the sight of Finn.
“Finn.” Kurt’s voice was short and clipped, and he turned around, fully prepared to keep playing. “Why are you here?”
“Uh, your dad said you were at school. He said something about math tutoring, but you’re too smart for that kind of stuff, so I came here.” Finn said quietly, almost shyly.
“Well, you found me. What do you want?” Kurt asked, putting his foot on the soft pedal as he started to play, so he could listen to Finn and the piano at the same time.
“I want to say I’m sorry, Kurt, you know I didn’t mean any of wha-”
Kurt held up a hand, silencing him.
“Finn, I don’t want to hear your excuses. You did mean it. You meant every word you said. I was trying to accommodate you; I was trying to be nice to you. I was only thinking of you, and you threw it all back in my face. I thought you were different, Finn Hudson. You seemed to not care that I was gay, you accepted that I was still a human being with feelings. But it seemed I was wrong.” Kurt said, feeling the familiar burning of tears in his eyes. He turned away from Finn, starting to play the piano again. The notes felt more familiar this time, and he recognized the song quickly.
It was one his mother used to play whenever he would get upset, and it was one of the first songs he learned. It was one of her favorites. Hello by Lionel Richie. Kurt blinked the tears away as he played furiously, the music flowing out of the piano. It was quiet in the room save for the music, and Kurt had almost forgotten Finn was there until he spoke again.
“Hello? By Lionel Richie?”
Kurt didn’t stop playing, speaking snippily over the music.
“Yes, as a matter of fact. I’m sorry, does it bother you? Is it too faggy for you?” He spat. Finn winced at the harsh word, realizing how much he had really hurt Kurt.
“No, no. Uh, it’s just, my dad used to play that for my mom. She plays the record every year on his birthday and their anniversary.” Finn said quietly, shuffling his feet nervously near the door. Kurt didn’t glance up or make any outward movement to show his surprise, but surprised he was. He didn’t think that he would share something so precious to him with Finn, of all people.
He jumped slightly when Finn sat down next to him on the piano bench, but he scooted over so Finn would have room to sit. He continued playing, needing to calm his frazzled nerves.
I’ve been alone with you inside my mind, Finn started singing softly, quietly, his voice blending with the piano. Kurt’s eyes widened softly; Finn wasn’t really going to sing this song, was he?
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times, Finn continued to sing, answering Kurt’s mental question. Kurt felt his fingers start to shake.
I sometimes see you pass outside my door, Kurt sang quietly, surprising Finn and himself. His fingers continued to fly across the piano keys, graceful as ever.
Hello, is it me you’re looking for? They sang together on the next line, their voices a perfect blend of high and low.
I can see it in your eyes, I can see it in your smile, you’re all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide, Finn sang, his voice gaining volume. Kurt felt his heart falter, and his shaky fingers turned into shaky hands, and then shaky arms.
'Cause you know just what to say, and you know just what to do, and I want to tell you so much, I… Kurt’s voice started to waver and his fingers stopped playing. “I can’t do this,” He breathed, pushing away from the piano, from the bench, from Finn.
“I’m sorry, I can’t, I…bye,” He whispered frantically, scrambling up the risers, grabbing his bag and running out the door, the most ungraceful he had ever been around anyone. He ran out the door, letting his slam behind him. Finn jumped when the door slammed, watching with wide and upset eyes as Kurt ran from him. He buried his face in his hands, running one hand through his hair. He had seriously screwed up, and he knew it.
Kurt sank to the ground outside of the Glee room. Normally, he would never let his stark-white Marc Jacobs pants come anywhere near the dirty floors of McKinley, but this was a desperate situation. He buried his face in his hands, careful not to mess up his hair.
And I want to tell you so much, I love you, he sang, his voice breaking at the end of the note as he finally let go and started to sob.