Turn Right On Miracle Street

Going cross-country had been a dream of mine ever since elementary school, and now I actually had a reason to go. But the first problem was which way to go. My worst fear was that Nick had moved out of the country and become a monk in the Netherlands like some of those rumors had said. But that wasn't likely - Nick's family had never been religious in the slightest, and the move had been a spur-of-the-moment thing, seemingly. Half of their furniture was left in the house, food still in the fridge, posters still on Nick's bedroom wall.

People had all kinds of theories. Aliens, some people said. Or maybe they were spies - and they had to move to Japan on a secret mission! Nick was always the quiet type, rarely talking in class, but known by everyone for his explosive temper. He didn't take shit from anyone. The spy theory, though, seemed to be the most popular. Tied with the aliens, actually. Ridiculous. People would do anything for gossip.

But he had just disappeared without much of a trace. I searched their house for clues, and to save some of Nick's old belongings, but found nothing to go on. It was a mystery around the town for quite some time - the only relatively interesting thing to happen in cute little Wyckoff - until, like everything else, it was forgotten and never spoken of again. Even I hadn't thought about it for quite some time. Until, on the side of the school we attended together - the one I now teach at - I saw the words we engraved into the brick together eight years ago, still indelibly etched into the wall.

N.J + J.N.

We used to joke about how our initials were the opposite of each others, and I felt a pang of nostalgia as I looked at it.

That was the year I had really begun to live. Nick and I spent the whole summer together. We shared our deepest secrets, even though we'd just met that summer. We'd lie awake on his rooftop at night talking about school and life and friends and parents, about how badly we wanted to get out of this town. I never thought I'd lose him, though. We had many of the same views on life, but he had an ever-optimistic attitude that I always admired (even when I thought ht was crazy). So many nights we shared on that roof, talking until the sun would rise. After so long of being an outcast at school, it was hard to believe I really had a friend.

We met at Andrew's party, when I finally found the confidence to go to one. The music as too loud and there were too many people bumping and shoving me, so I regretted coming instantly. Cigarette smoke was choking me. Needing peace, I went out to the back porch. It was a cool, misty night - moisture hanging in the air, but not actually falling from the sky. I took a seat, and realized that I wasn't alone.

We sat out there all night. First we talked about all the ridiculous people inside, the stupidity and pointlessness of it all. Then we talked about school, and our life at home, and life in general. At first I thought it was the beer in his hand causing him to talk so easily and go off on quick little rambles and then shut up and listen so intently, but I needed someone to talk to, and someone to talk back. None of my current friends could give me that. And it felt so good to finally have someone.

I had a relatively normal family life, but Nick told me about his fighting parents and his brother who always took off without warning and didn't come back for days. I shared more on that deck k on that night with a boy who was a complete stranger than I ever had with anyone else. While I didn't have any immediate problems at home, school was a daily struggle and I longed for companionship. And Nick offered someone to talk tom to relate to, and to talk back.

We were inseparable after that. Being in different grads, we had no classes together, but we were together at lunch, sneaking off campus and just driving around town, sometimes doing a little bit of vandalism just for the thrill. Sometimes we didn't go back, and getting in trouble was worth the time I spent with him.

Summer came again and we escaped to his roof for hours on end. I'd comfort him when he needed to vent about his parents and he'd do the same for me when I'd had enough of school. Those rooftop nights could last forever, just staring up at the stars. One day, we couldn't stand this town anymore, and we left. Leaving a note to our families and promising to be back, we headed up to New York, just to get away. Neither of our parents were happy about it, and forbade us from seeing each other, but that didn't stop us.

Somewhere along the lines, deep conversations and loving touches turned into more. I didn't know Nick was gay until school started again and he found himself a boyfriend., Jake was weird, to say the least. I didn't like the way he talked to Nick and pushed him around, and with the problems in his life, it was the last thing my best friend needed. He was desperate,. and I guess he figured having a boyfriend would suddenly fix everything.

if only he had told me. Though, it never really came up, and then again, I didn't tell him, either.

Nick had showed up a mess at my house one night, sputtering something about his dad. I held him and comforted him, talked to him, did everything I could. But it was all useless when Jake showed up. Said he went to Nick's house and his mom had said nick was here. The nerve, I thought, but Nick went with him. I remember being worried about him all night until I finally drove over to his house. No parents were home, and no Jake. But where was Nick? I still remember creeping through the eerie dark house, seeing the light coming from under the bathroom door. I found it locked, and when I picked it I found my best friend curled up naked on a green rug, a plastic cup near his hand. I remember picking him up and helping him into a bath, washing him off as gently as I could. He tried to explain, through tears and slurred speech, how Jake had forced him to drink something and then... but I stopped him. I could figure it out. When he'd composed himself, we went up to his roof and just held each other. The effects of whatever he'd taken made him confused and sluggish, but it wore ff as we stayed up there all night. I started singing to him, making up the words as I went along. Then we wrote a whole song together, line by line, and sang it over and over so we wouldn't forget it. But to this day, i only remember one line: rooftop nights could last forever.

No one ever pressed charges against Jake, as much as I tried to convince him to. Nick never told. Even when he beat Nick up for breaking up with him. That his parents found out, but they couldn't afford that kind of legal trouble. But, miraculously, Jake left us alone after that.

My house became Nick's second home. i lost most of my friends in twelfth grade when they either got too cool for me or I withdrew from them. Nick became my rock and somewhere along the lines he became more. Hugs turned into long, loving embraces, kisses on the cheeks became kisses on the lips, and sleepovers turned into passionate encounters. We kept our relationship a secret from out small-town school, and no one ever found out.

Until he disappeared. Nick was the quiet, anti-social kid that sat in the corner, but everyone knew him. The lack of his presence was obvious. And no one had a clue.

I cried for days, but eventually, as everyone dies, I got over it. I never forgot him, though, especially teaching at the same school. I never moved out of some irrational hope that one day he'd come looking for me.

Now, though, instead of waiting for him to come back, I was going to go looking for him.