Dying of the Light

After school, I half expected Ben to have left without me. He and I hadn’t spoken at all after government, and I’d gone to the lunchroom to eat with my brother and his friends instead of going to our bench. Luckily, he was sitting in his car waiting to drive me home as always. I didn’t feel like having to walk home, or worse, call someone from our group of friends to pick me up. I didn’t need the gossip that would surely follow. They didn’t need to know that we’d had an argument.

Ben didn’t say anything when I climbed into the passenger seat. He didn’t talk as he pulled out of the parking lot, either. The silence was tangible.

I couldn’t stand it. “Bennie, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Really, I didn’t. But I couldn’t sit and watch people exile Asher. I have to believe that he deserves better than that.” Ben sighed and didn’t respond. A few minutes later, he pulled into my driveway and turned off the car.

My parents never got home before four, but they trusted Ben, so he was still allowed over. We went through our after-school routine easily: he poured two glasses of orange juice while I made two peanut butter and banana sandwiches. We went to sit on the porch behind my house.

Finally, he said, “Molly, I’m just trying to understand here. If he doesn’t like that he hasn’t got any friends, it’s his own fault. He walked out on us. And I’m not used to you choosing other guys over me. I don’t like it.” I frowned and opened my mouth to tell him that I hadn’t chosen Asher over him, then snapped it shut. That’s exactly what I had done.

“Let’s just forget about this, okay? You’re going to have to learn to accept Asher, because I’m going to be trying my best to be his friend. I don’t want that to affect us. You’re still my best friend.” His expression was still strained, but he smiled at me and put down his sandwich, then stood and looked at me expectantly.

“Let’s go running,” he suggested. I grinned and ran into the house to change into cooler clothes. This was one of our favorite things to do together- it always turned into a vicious game of tag.

We got back right at four o’clock, just as Asher pulled into the driveway. I needed time to change- there was no way I wanted to be showing as much skin as I was around someone I was less than comfortable with. I shot Ben a what-do-I-do look, and he nodded towards the stairs that led to my bedroom. I ran up them and changed back into normal clothes quickly as I could. I was in such a hurry that I almost put on my shirt upside down, and had to try again.

I sprinted down the stairs and froze in shock. Asher and Ben were witting on the couch, talking. It seemed like they were getting along. Bennet was still shirtless from the run. They both stopped and stared at me, and Ben looked like he was trying hard not to laugh. I looked down and saw that my shirt was inside out. The blush that rose on my cheeks must have looked incriminating. I could only imagine what Asher thought Ben and I had been doing.

“Hi, Asher. Thanks for coming,” I said after a few awkward moments in which I tried, unsuccessfully, to compose myself. I shot Ben a look, trying to get him to leave.

He shook his head and said, “I’m staying until Fletcher gets home,” in a tone that made it very clear that he wasn't leaving because he didn’t trust Asher alone with me. Luckily, my brother should be getting home soon.

“Fine. But you’re staying in the kitchen,” I ordered. He gave me a funny sort of a look, but headed towards the kitchen, nodding his head to let me know he wanted me to follow. I refused and just before the door shut, I heard him call, “Yes, Mother!” That jerk.

“Sorry about him… again,” I apologized lamely. To my surprise, Asher was smiling at me. He had a clear expression and, for once, his eyes weren’t sad.

For the first time, I actually got a project done quickly. Usually, Ben and I got sidetracked so much, it took days of us ‘working’ to finish. With Asher, though we talked and joked as we worked, we still got things done.

After we had our poster finished, there was really nothing else to do. Asher stood up and looked like he was about to leave, but I stopped him. I wanted to spend more time with him.

“Why don’t you stay for dinner?” I offered. We frequently had people eat over, so I knew my mom would be okay with it. He hesitated, seeming to fight some inner battle before he agreed.

I didn’t know what to do after that. I was glad he was staying, sure, but I had no experience with having people over when I didn’t know them well. “Let’s go for a walk,” I suggested. He shrugged, and I took that as a ‘yes’. He seemed surprised when I headed towards the woods. If he thought it was odd, though, he didn’t say it.

“So why did you suddenly show up at school three weeks ago?” I asked. There were plenty of rumors explaining his appearance, but I doubted any were true. After all, no one had bothered actually asking him.

He thought for a while before answering, “Well, I just moved here this summer, and I thought I would go to the public school. Something came up, and… I was home schooled for the first month.” He stopped and cleared his throat.

“Are you going to tell me why, or not? I’ll understand if you don’t.” I examined his expression carefully, something I’d learned from my father, Jack. He was good at reading people. Right now, he looked conflicted and… sad again. He was studying my face, too, and I’d never seen someone so vulnerable. I took his hand and squeezed, hoping to comfort him somehow.

“Won’t we get lost?” he asked. I couldn’t help myself- I laughed.

“No way. I know these woods as well as I know my house.” After we walked a little farther, I decided to get him talking. I was happy with silence, but I wasn’t sure he was. Besides, I needed something to get my mind off of the pressure of his hand still clasped in mine. “Tell me about your friends at your old school.”

His answering swearing would make a pirate proud. “They… weren’t really my friends. As soon as they found out…” he trailed off. I looked away so that I could compose my expression. What could they have found out about him that would make them keep away? It was suddenly very clear to me that I was out in the middle of the woods with a boy I hardly knew. This was probably one of those scenarios that my father had always warned me to avoid. Whoops.

It was embarrassing, but suddenly, I was trembling. I had to remind myself that I had a small advantage in that I was far more familiar with these woods. I knew he could probably feel my hand shaking, but he didn’t say anything.

“Go ahead and ask,” he said woodenly. I froze- I stopped walking and I stopped breathing, and I did my best to stop thinking, too. “Ask me!” he shouted, ripping his hand away from mine. Though he sounded angry, there was an underlying note of despair. He sank to the ground, staring off at nothing.

“What is it they found out?” I asked after long moment, when I could be sure my voice would be steady.