Saving Sloane Winters

Sloane Erin M. Winters
Keywords speech, be, in, your, head, so, fucking, bad, joint, Teak Richardson

The next encounter I had with Teak Richardson was nearly two months later.

Late October, and the air’s dumped the cold and got together with heat. Laughing as Kay rolls down her window, and Bess turns up the volume to some horrible but ridiculously catchy ‘The Veronicas’ song.

“Take me on the floor, da da da da dada—dude, who the hell’s sitting on your doorstep?”

My head perks up, and I squint through the dirty window of Kay’s old car. “I… what?”

Kay nods in the direction of my house. “There’s someone there, is it Tristan or something?”

“No, he’s at soccer tonight,” I say slowly, and make to open the door.

“It’s Teak.”

Kay’s head turns so sharply towards Bess, that her head snaps off. She shrieks out her disbelief as she super glues it back on. “What?”

Bess shrugs. “It’s Teak. You can tell my his posture,” she turns in the front seat towards me. “What’s he doing here?”

My hand feels cold as I open the door and close it carefully. “I have no idea.”

“You don’t have to go talk to him,” says Kay quickly. “You can come home with us, if you want. Sarah’s there, she’ll want to see you.”

I shake my head. “No, that’d be running away. Since when have I ever done that?”

Bess rolls her eyes. “You sure?” she looks at the dark figure on the steps. It’s as if when she lets me go, I’ll come back with my heart in two.

Silly Bess, I almost want to tell her. You can’t break a heart in two when it’s already broken.

“Very,” I mutter, and hoist my backpack higher on my blazer clad shoulder. “Sarah saw me yesterday anyway, she’ll live without my beautiful face and blinding presence.”

“Modest,” Kay mumbles, and then they’re driving off down the lonely road, and I’m in front of the boy on my front step.

This was my next encounter with Teak Richardson.

And this time, he was completely and utterly stoned.

“I’d like it if you stopped doing drugs on my front step, Bonnie’d flip if she saw you.”

He looks up, and his eyes are bloodshot. “Bonnie?”

“Dad’s girlfriend, but I suppose he’ll propose to her and do that wedding shit soon. Not that you’d know though, she came along late June,” I shrug carelessly, and dump myself on the seat next to him. “You’re high, why are you high?”

Doesn’t seem to hear me though, because his mouth keeps moving. “Late June, when I kissed Mandy.”

I snort, can’t help it. I want him to feel guilty. “That’s it? Didn’t do more, didn’t ya? I’d thought that’s what you did, Teak. Have ‘tea parties’ with girls before you dump ‘em.”

“You don’t deserve any of the shit I’ve given you the whole year,” He says, and drops the joint into one of Bonnie’s flower pots.

“Hell yeah, I don’t,” I mutter, under my breath. I add a snort for extra effect, to make him even more embarrassed.

So what, I’m a sadistic bitch. Whatever.

“No, you really don’t deserve it. I give lots of shit to people who don’t deserve it, to mum, to Quinn, to Riley, now you. But that’s who I am, Sloane. I give, and don’t take. But I give shit, and don’t take help for it,” he laughs humourlessly, “Funny ain’t it?”

I shake my head. “Hilarious, really.”

He ignores my jibe. “I was a loner, you know. Just living my life alone, mum, Quinn and Riley on the sidelines, there whenever I needed them. I needed them the whole time, but I just didn’t go to them. They still pick it up, all the shit I drop, though. I don’t know why they do it, I wonder why they haven’t left me yet.”

“Because they care about you,” I say, watching him from the small metre distance between us.

“My dad left me, but not because he was tired of me—I was alright before he left, that’s why I’m a loner now, even with the tattoos and the drums, it makes me some kind of badarse of something. But still a loner. My dad was a loner too, I guess. Always did things alone, no help from anyone. He went to a club when I was eleven, Quinn wasn’t here yet. He was alone when he got bashed to death by some gang for no fucking reason,” his words were like vomit, horrible and never stopping.

“Don’t—“

He cuts me off. “So now I’m alone, I don’t know why. I think I’m being exactly like my dad, just because it’s all I can do to relate to him. I dunno, but I’m a right bastard, ain’t I? I’m horrible to everyone around me, but they just deal. And then you came along,” his voice softens, and he tilts his head back and stares up at the sky. “And I suppose I was a dick to you as well, I never told you about myself really, and you’d share lots with me. It’s not about trust anymore, Sloane, I figured that I trusted you ages ago. But I didn’t want you to just be in the sidelines too, and deal with every single shit I throw your way. I didn’t want you to be like mum, Quinn and Riley. I could’ve just dumped you, you know, just ended it in a simpler way. But I kissed Mandy because even when you were gone, I wanted to be in your head. That’s all I want, Sloane, to be in your head.”

“Teak, I think you should go—“

“I want to be in your head so fucking bad, you know. I want to be the one thing that’s nearly always in your mind. I want you to be thinking about me all the fucking time, and I have no fucking idea where this shit is coming from, I’m never like this. I never care about anything else, really. That’s just me, but something about you is just making me freak out, and I want to drop every single fucking wall I built around myself and let you in. But I didn’t and I’m a total shithead, and I’m so fucking sorry. That’s it, really. I’m sorry, so, so fucking sorry for everything. You hate me, don’t you?"

I blink dumbly.

He sighs. "It’s torture seeing you with Tristan, you know, but you have every right to, because he won’t treat you like his bitch. You hate me, but I wish you didn’t—because you’re a really awesome girl, you know? So fucking awesome but I just had to go and fuck up one of the things that made me happy, I do that all the time. I could’ve had you, I know I could’ve but I lost you, and I’m fucking sorry about me and my shit. So you don’t want me anymore, but that’s just shit for me, because god fucking dammit, I fucking want you to be in your head as much as you're in mine..”

"I... shit." I breathe.

He looked at me, like he really didn’t mean to say all of that, and exhaled noisily, “Whaddya think, then?”

“I think,” I say slowly, and stand up, but my legs are shaking. “I think I’m going to call Riley, and we’re going to get you home.”