The World Is Still Sleeping, While I Keep on Dreaming

At the pregame dinner, I sat next to Jonathan, nibbling at my salad since I was nervous to eat in front of the team. I've always been like that though, afraid to eat in front of guys for some reason. Something that I'm sure they'd break eventually. I met the rest of the team who were pretty cool, especially Andrew Ladd since he made the comment that I made Jonathan less serious most the time. That got me to smile more, even though my face and body still ached from where I had the bruises.

"You know," Jonathan mentioned as Kaner sat at the table next to us, "You should tell Coach about what happened?"

"No," My eyes bugged out of my head at the thought, "No way."

"Blaze, come on, it'll keep you safe. You need to tell someone besides the ones who already know."

"It's not going to solve anything," I glared at him.

"Yeah but if more of us know, the more we can protect you."

"I'll think about it," I glared at him again which he let out a sigh but went back to his food.

A few minutes later, he got over the tension and I found his free hand slid over to mine under the table. He was busy talking to Brian Campbell but I seen him send me a look out the corner of his eye which I wasn't protesting about his fingers being entwined with mine.

My thinking was interupted by Adam nudging my shoulder slightly as I turned to look at him with a smile on my face.

"What?"

"How you doing?" He nodded at me.

"Ok," I shrugged knowing what he was talking about, "I mean I'm not liking being here and around so many fans of his when they don't know what he's like."

"It happens," he smiled to notice that my fingers were still entwined with Jonathan's, "but it looks like someone's not going to let him get to you."

"He wants me to tell your coach and the rest of the team."

"Are you?" Adam raised an eyebrow which earned a long sigh from me.

"I don't want to but I'm scared about him being so close to me and then I don't want your team to be confused about what's been going on with everything."

"It's your choice," Adam shrugged at me, "It's not like we'll force you to tell anyone. Just if you feel comfortable about it."

"Thanks," I smiled while my phone rang, "Hold that thought."

I reached for my phone out of my pocket to find it flashing Paula's number on the screen as I sighed, "Hello?"

"Blaze, hey where are you? We've got to head to the arena in like 30 minutes."

"Oh, I, um, I just went to dinner."

"Well get your ass back to this hotel. We need you over here."

"Alright, alright," I rolled my eyes while making an aggrivated look at Adam who had been watching me the entire time, "Let me just finish up and I'll be there soon."

I hung up the phone to now have Jonathan's attention as well as a few other people around the table.

"What's up?" Jonathan asked.

"I've got to get going," I looked a bit down, "Paula wants me over there in 30 minutes."

"So? Stay a while." His fingers moved across the back of my hand which caused me to smile.

"I'd love to but I've got to change, fix my make up, and do my hair before meeting her."

"Alright," He sighed as I stood up slowly letting out of his hand.

"Good luck tonight," I smiled while placing a soft kiss on his cheek, "I'll be rooting for you out there."

"Hey!" Adam protested which I smirked.

"Of course all you guys," I smiled, "Laters guys."

I headed back to the hotel room to change into some black hip hop dance pants I packed then a red t-shirt, then pulled my hair back into a pony tail before grabbing my phone and room key again. My make up looked ok so I didn't fuss with it too much, except for fixing where you could see the bruises.

Paula's news van then drove us to the arena in which she was going over things with someone on the phone before we got there. It was being on a different turf dressed in Blackhawks colors with the thousand other Flyers fans around. It was already awkward enough walking around the streets but that wasn't going to keep me from showing the Blackhawk pride.

Once the game started, it was intense. Both teams were playing their hardest, me smiling each time Chris got checked by anyone, even more when it was by someone who knew the story behind us. The game went to overtime which I was on the edge of my seat, biting my nails as I watched the players try to score a goal first.

In the end, the Flyers got the point making it their first win in the Stanley Cup. I knew that the guys were probably disappointed but they still had the advantage over them on how many games they've won. Yet, I still that wouldn't help their spirits. No loss was ever something to celebrate.

Paula wrapped up her segement, as I snuck off towards the dressing room to hang out with the guys. I was about to go talk to Jonathan when Sharpie stopped me and guided me back out in the hall.

"You don't want to go in there." He sighed while I gave him a quick look.

"Why?"

"It's one of his bad traits," Sharpie started walking with me, dressed in his suit now, "he gets down on himself after every loss. He's gotten better about it but right now, just he needs his alone time."

"I see."

"It's nothing against you," He shook his head, "Trust me, it's not. He's like that to everyone."

"No problem," I shrugged while I seen others walking out of the dressing room but I stuck with Sharpie, "I mean it does suck that the Flyers snuck one past you guys."

"See," He smiled lightly at me, "We lost yet you still find a way to make it seem like it wasn't our fault."

"Well it wasn't."

"You know," Patrick looked at me for a second, "You so need a jersey."

"What?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Trust me," He kept that smirk on his face but didn't say anything else, "Tomorrow, I'll have the perfect one for you."

"Sharpie, you scare me sometimes." I shook my head as he stopped outside to wait for Adam as I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

"You heading back to the hotel?"

"Actually," I started while watching cars fly by and the crowd die down, "I think I'm going to get a drink before turning in."

"Be careful," He mentioned as I nodded.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow."

I left Patrick at the curb then walked to a bar that wasn't far from the arena or my hotel. Plus cab fare wouldn't be that expensive if I needed to take one back. I just wanted to get a drink since with all that's happened to me lately, I haven't actually had the time to myself to let it sink it but I could feel the weight start to fall on my shoulders from all the seriousness that's happened.

I sat at the bar, alone, keeping to myself while drinking my pina colada and listening to the excited chatter of all the Flyers fans around the bar. They left me alone for the most part which I appreciated. I heard a stool scrape the ground next to me as someone was now sitting next to me.

"Can I buy you a drink?" I heard a male voice which I turned my head to look at him. It was Chris, only this time, there was something different about him.

"Depends," I shrugged, "if I say no are you going to beat the shit of me?"

"I'm sorry," He looked at me seriously.

"Not accepted," I nodded not looking at him, "I still hate you."

"It's just one drink," He mentioned as a beer was placed in front of him.

"It's never been one drink with you, Chris," I took a sip off mine as I looked at him, "one drink will lead to two, then two will lead you to trying to sweet talk me into sleeping with you."

"It's different this time."

"Chris," I sighed while facing him, "the only thing that's changed is what you've done to me." I motioned to my face which he looked at the bruises seriously before I went to continue. "This is what you've done now and I can never accept your apology for what you did."

"You're talking to me, so that's a start," He flashed a smile in which I think he hoped.

"I don't understand what would make you want to hurt me like this?" I gave him a bitter laugh. "I didn't do anything to you. I broke up with you because you cheated on me. I loved you but you loved fucking some slut from a bar. I never promised you everything like you promised me than broke. And I don't understand why you sit there now, smile spread across your face, striking up a conversation like nothing in the past week actually happened."

"I still love you."

"Nice way to show it," I took the last sip off my drink then went to stand. "Get over it, I don't love you anymore."

I went to walk towards the door when I heard him follow me which I wasn't sure what was going to happen but his hand reached for mine lightly as I pulled mine out of his grip to see a pissed yet hurt look on his face.

"Let me go," I looked at him seriously, "Just let me go."

"I can't do that," Chris caught his breath as I rolled my eyes.

"I'm walking out this door and this is the last time I'll be in your life," I stood my ground, "Don't call me. Don't follow me, don't even think about trying to find me anymore."

"But our apartment-"

"You kicked me out, it's yours. Sell it, I don't care. I don't love you anymore. Goodbye Chris."

I walked out the door, feeling like a world had been taken off my shoulders. I'm not sure if it got through to him what I meant but I felt like I finally got to say what I wanted to him, it made me feel better. To see that hurt looked on his face of not getting me back the way he thought he would.

I made my way to my hotel room, the moonlight stretching across the streets, sending beautiful shadows through my windows as I fell into my bed, my mind on one person and one person only. I only wished that he was here now to talk to him about what happened at the bar but I knew he was probably still frustrated with himself and losing the game tonight. I wasn't sure if he even wanted to talk to me tomorrow, hell what Sharpie said made me wary of even wanting to approach him tomorrow.

I listened to the sounds of the street below me for a while, my mind wandering around all different thoughts when I heard a knock at my door. It brought my attention back to the dark room as I slowly walked across the room to open it slightly.

Standing in the door frame to my room was none other than the one person I had been thinking about and hadn't seen that night except for dinner before hand.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered into the quiet hallway.

"I asked around to find what room was yours," He watched me as I leant against the door frame, "I just need someone to vent to."

"Come in," I opened the door for him as he walked into the room and I shut the door behind him.

Jonathan sat on my bed as he started going over the game and what happened, where he thought he went wrong, what he could'vd done better to win. I sat there against my pillows listening to him tell me everything for an hour or so, paying attention to what he had to say which I know he needed right now.

"You must think I'm crazy don't you?" He finally mentioned as I shook my head.

"No, it's perfectly logical," I sat up slightly to look at him. "You're the captain. It can be a big responsibililty for you to take on. But you're doing such a great job. You just lost a game, it happens sometimes. You just got o take that loss, learn from your mistakes so you can improve."

"I'm sorry I kept you awake," He smiled at me lightly.

"You're not."

"You know," He watched my features, "You're the first girl I've actually been able to talk about this without getting bored or thinking I'm just being a paranoid or something."

"You're talking to the girl who's been through hell and back lately," I smirked at him, "I've had to make some tough decisions too."

"Oh, like which record I want to listen to is anything in comparison," He rolled his eyes teasingly as I smacked him.

"Hey! I'm not all like that," I scouffed, "I've got tough decisions to make too."

"Ok, outfit."

"God," I shoved him lightly as I heard him chuckle in the dark, "Can you stop being a dick for two seconds?"

"Sorry," His smile caught the moonlight, "I know what you mean. And thank you."

"No problem. You've listened to my problems so much, it's my turn to be there for you."

Jonathan got silent for a second, "Blaze?"

"What?" I questioned as he moved closer to me.

"Is it wrong that I want nothing more to kiss you?"

"No, it's wrong that you haven't yet," I stuck my tongue out at him as he leant down to kiss me.

I felt his tongue beg for entrance, feeling the stubble against my face him still bothered me but it wasn't that bad. His tongue slowly massaged mine as he held his body over mine. He broke away from me to rest his forehead against mine as I looked at his chest.

"You should be getting back," My fingers ran down his arm, "it's late and we both need our sleep."

"I'll see you later," He whispered as I nodded and he gave me one last kiss before getting off me.

I got off the bed to walk him to the door as he kissed my cheek before walking off towards the elevator as I closed the door.

I leant my back against the closed door with a smile as I bit my bottom lip.

"You give me so much hope Toews," I mentioned to myself before heading to my bed to fall asleep.