The World Is Still Sleeping, While I Keep on Dreaming

After our shower, I found myself lying in Jonathan's arms in my bed. It was peaceful. He looked so cute sleeping next to me, his mouth twitching into a smile every now and then. It made me wander what was going through his mind. It was hard to sleep knowing that he was leaving Sunday night to head to LA for the Jay Leno show. That and I kept wondering about Gina and if she was ok.

It caused for some restless sleep but I found myself passed out next to Jonathan, him snoring every now and then. It wasn't til 7 that I was fully awake again but he still slept next to me. I crawled out of my bed quietly to find a hoodie and walk down the stairs knowing Adam was already up to.

"Morning sunshine," I heard from the kitchen as I carried my half tired body into it to sit on a barstool in front of Adam, "What's up?"

"Nothing," I slumped slightly, resting my head on my already propped up elbow.

"That's not the body language of someone who has nothing going on in their mind?" Adam smirked while stirring his coffee, "Tazer wear you out again?"

"We only made out in the shower," I mumbled to stretch lightly to look at his half amused face, "Have you ever felt like you were about to do something incredibly stupid but can't stop yourself?"

"Sometimes. Why?" He asked looking up at me.

"I've got that feeling."

"What are you going to do?" Adam questioned as I shook my head.

"It's a crazy thought," I tried to put it into words, "But a while ago, me and Gina made this crazy "free pass" list, you know celebrities, singers, all that jazz that we could screw and have it be ok with our significant other."

"I know the concept," He nodded waiting for me to continue.

"Anyways, 30 Seconds to Mars is coming into town soon. Like maybe this week or something and Jared Leto was always on my list."

"So?" Adam shrugged as he took another sip off his mug, "You're with Tazer now and- whoa, wait, Blaze, no."

"I know, it's bad," I shrugged, "But if Jared puts the offer on the table-" I started to see his eyes flicker to mine.

"No, don't you even think about doing it," Adam interjected, "I've never seen Tazer happier or you since I've met you."

"I'm trying not to-"

"Try harder," He snapped at me as I shrunk a bit, his face slowly softening, "Blaze, I'm not trying to sound like an ass but stop and think. I mean, do you really want me to come in to your work to watch you the entire time?"

"No," I looked away from him as he sighed.

"I may not be here forever Blaze. What's really going on?"

"I'm scared," I whispered slightly.

"Scared?" He raised his eyebrow, "Scared of what?"

"Falling too hard for Jonathan. It just feels like it's all happening so fast but at the same time, I like. It's like everytime I'm with him, it's a rush and I'm scared that rush will disappear after being with him for a while."

"So your solution is to fuck some rock star?" Adam reasoned which I knew sounded bad, "Don't bring yourself down to Chris's level."

"I'm not on his level," I glared at him.

"Oh yeah and where would such a thing take place?" Adam countered as I stopped to think for a second my mouth falling open, "Blaze, don't be stupid, you're not like that."

"Who's not like what?" Jonathan yawned from behind me, causing me to jump.

Adam gave me one last look before going to the sink to empty his mug. I looked down at my fingers then turned to look at Jonathan with a smile on my face.

"It's nice," I smiled at him to see him rubbing sleep out of his eyes, "You look tired still."

"I am but I've got to get home and packed for tomorrow," He yawned moving closer to me, mainly straddling my legs as I looked up at him.

"Oh yeah, Mr. Hollywood now," I smirked, allowing him to press my back against the island.

"I am not," He moved closer to me, the space that was closing between us was putting bad thoughts in my head.

"No messing around with some Hollywood bimbo," I smiled at him to hear Adam clear his throat behind me in a coughing matter, "And keep an eye on Kaner."

"I promise," He leant down to kiss me, the minty freshness causing a tingle on my lips.

"Mm minty fresh," I smiled into the kiss.

"Are you coming back to my place?"

"No," I shook my head, "I'll meet you at the airport though."

"See you then," He leant down to me to press his warm lips to mine again.

The rest of my day, I spent unpacking everything for the past week or so traveling with Paula. I hadn't done much of it, so now I finally could catch up. That and making a list of what clothes I had to wash since I did need to wash them. Adam wasn't talking to me much either since this morning and I didn't blame him. I mean if someone else came to me with the same problem, I'd do the same thing. It gave me time to think about it which I needed.

Finally I was headed to the airport to meet Jonathan which I was half dreading since I didn't want to see him go. I stood in the terminal with Patrick, Duncan, Brent, and now Jonathan who walked back from the bathroom to wrap his arms around me.

"I wish you could come with me," He whispered into my ear slightly.

"I've got to work," I leant into him, "I wish I could too."

"Really?" He asked as I thought about it then faced him.

"Yeah," I looked into his eyes, having every doubt fade away, "It'd be fun. Seeing LA with you. Hanging out, getting out of Chicago."

"You should come back home with me to Canada," He smiled as I let that smirk spread across your face.

"Slow down Tazer, we're not getting married," I giggled causing him to send me a playful glare.

"I'd want you to go with me," He mentioned, his hands sliding down to my hips.

"We'll talk later."

"But-" He started.

"Right now, just shut up and kiss me," I rolled my eyes, then felt his lips press against mine.

Our sweet innocent kiss was soon getting heated, his hands were starting to roam places that they shouldn't in public, just as his tongue was battling mine for dominance. I could feel him tug at my belt loops which brought me back to reality.

"Jonathan," I hissed slightly at him with a blush, "not here."

He let out a throaty groan to give me a look, "The bathroom was pretty clean."

"I'm not having sex with you in a an airport bathroom," I sighed not moving from my spot.

"We've got time," He mentioned directing his eyes towards the bathroom which was tempting but I shook my head.

"If you don't drag me in that bathroom, I promise when you get back, I'll show you a good time."

"Promise?" He raised an eyebrow at me with a hopeful look.

"Promise," I smiled to kiss him again, "Now go before you miss your flight."

"Alright," He sighed pulling away from me which I hated since his body heat left me now, "Here." I watched as he took off his hoodie he had been wearing to hand it to me. "It might get cold later tonight."

"Thank you," I smiled as he kissed me then headed to his flight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mondays suck.

Not that they didn't any other time but they sucked more today because for the first time I was seriously missing him. I mean I did when we fought but then I was half pissed at him but now, when I didn't have annoyed feelings for him, he was a missable guy.

Not to mention the store had been super slow right now. No one was walking through the doors at the early hour, making me think even more about him. I rested my head on my hand, thinking about what'd he be doing right now when I heard the bell chime over the door.

I watched as Gina walked in, a spring in her step, smile plastered to her face as she went to clock in. I rolled my eyes just as she passed, seeing Chris's car drive off. Stupid couple.

Gina went about her work to clean off the shelves of records and sweep the floors as a few other co-workers walked through the doors to start their shifts. My mind was occupied on other things as I slowly turned the pages of the Sports Illustrated I had been reading, just as the phone rang.

"Empire Records, open to midnight. This is Blaze speaking. How may I help you?" I let out in one breath, it was way to rehearsed.

"Is this Blaze Chasez?" I heard a guy's voice on the other side ask.

"Yes," I drew out now paying attention to what he had to say, "Who is this?"

"Hi, my name is Jordan. I'm Christina Aguilera's manager," He mentioned as I thought it was a joke.

"You're kidding right?" I raised an eyebrow looking around the store.

"No. Christina's starting a new tour soon and needed a new dancer. She asked around Chicago, asked around a few college campuses and your name was thrown around."

"My name?" I questioned not believing it.

"Apparently you've got moves kid," I heard him laugh as I tried to wrap my mind around things.

"Wow."

"Anyways we're both in town today and Christina was wondering if you'd be willing to audition today at say 6pm?"

"Yeah," I nodded snapping back to reality, "Yeah sure. Um, yeah, wow."

"Great, we'll see you then."

"Ok bye."

I was in shock. If this was for real, this was the break I was waiting for. Something to shake up my world that I needed. Something to keep my life interesting, even though it already had been. To top that off, Gina had some news to tell me that was about to shake my reality and everything else. I was beginning to think Mondays weren't so boring anymore.