The World Is Still Sleeping, While I Keep on Dreaming

The Test

That damned piece of paper was going to be the death of me, I swear. I had just pissed in a stupid cup and had a blood test ran by the doctors before they could move on to x-rays. Both of which, the results were the same. The same two results that I kept reading over and over again, trying to make sure I wasn't making this up.

positive

I kept trying to think back to anytime we weren't safe, I mean I could've sworn we were safe and it most definately wasn't Chris's, trust me. That night with him when I was shitfaced, he was super safe since there were like two wrappers lying around. Come on, Chris have kids with me? Yeah, that man didn't love me that much. Loved to hurt me but anything to keep his distance was what he always muttered into the night.

My mind raced as I handed Talia the paper to have her read it then hand it over to Sharpie. I knew their mouths were hitting the floor by now.

"Was there ever a time when you weren't?" Talia questioned quietly next to me.

"Maybe, a few," I shrugged thinking back to after the Finals and after the Chris issues.

"How much is a few?"

"3 maybe 4 times," I shrugged, picking at my nails.

"And this comes as a shock to you?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Will you just shut up?" I snapped harshly. "Not only is my ankle killing me but I'm fucking pregnant."

"You've got to tell him," Sharpie looked at me.

"He's in Canada."

"So?" Patrick shrugged at me, "He deserves to know. Hell if my girlfriend was, I'd want to know."

"Not a word to anyone about this?" I stood up quickly, "Do I make myself clear?"

"Are you going to tell him?" Talia questioned following me back out to the car.

"I don't have to."

"Yeah, that's a look I'd like to see you explain to him," Patrick rolled his eyes at me, "You puffed out and making up some excuse."

"Yeah, um, no."

"It's not that hard," Talia rolled her eyes getting in the car, "All you have to do is say "hey we're having a baby" or "I'm pregnant" end of story."

"Wow, you're a pro at that," I scouffed, "Trade places?"

"Blaze," Patrick sighed, "Be serious about this."

"I am!" I countered, "We haven't even been together that long and he's a Stanley Cup Conn Symthe winner, pro hockey player. He's getting so much attention now, why be the one to stand in his way?"

"Because you need to," Patrick ran a hand through his hair, "Even if he doesn't want to help with the baby, you'll be staying with me and I want him to know he is so I can hound him if he leaves you."

"Threatening yet concerned," I smirked at Patrick, "It's what I love about you."

"Don't change the subject," Patrick looked at me in the rearview mirror, "Tell him."

"God, fine," I rolled my eys at him.

Once back at Adam's house, he started asking questions about my ankle, what the doctors said and everything. But Sharpie was quick to add that there was more to say then my ankle.
Adam turned his attention to me while I got a Diet Coke then sat on a barstool to look back at him.

"Blaze, what's he talking about?" Adam questioned.

"It's nothing," I shrugged running my finger across the top of the can, "Just your captain got me pregnant."

"What?" Adam's eyes went wide and his mouth dropped at me.

"Yeah, I'm pregnant," I locked eyes with him.

"Does Tazer know?"

"No," Sharpie jumped in, "She still hasn't told him."

"He deserves to know," Adam looked at me when my phone decided to make this the oppurtunity to interupt this rather awkward conversation.

"Gotta take this," I smiled walking off to answer my phone call from Jonathan with nerves building up in my stomach.

"Hey, what's up?" I smiled at knowing he was calling, walking out to the back porch.

"How was your doctor's appointment?"

"Fine," I sighed, "Just tendons and ligament issues." Ok, so it wasn't a total lie, but I was having a battle of if I should tell him or not.

"That's good," I could hear him smile with the tone of his voice.

"How's Canada?" I cleared my throat slightly.

"Good. Just wish you were here."

"You'll have fun," I smiled leaning against the door.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Blaze, don't lie to me," He warned over the phone, "Are you ok?"

"Fine," I felt tears sting my eyes, "I just miss you."

"I miss you too but it sounds like something's wrong."

"It's nothing," I sniffled hoping he wasn't catching onto how upset or nervous I was. I just didn't want to crash his entire world.

"You say that but I know you're lying."

"When are you coming home?" I dried a few tears, shaking that nervousness from my voice.

"The 26th. Blaze, if there's something you need to tell me-" He started but began to trail off, "Are you cheating on me?"

"No."

"Dying?"

"No."

"Hurt?"

"No," I shook my head trying to get out of this conversation, "I'll tell you when you get home."

"Blaze, now you're worrying me."

"It's nothing to worry about," I did my best to smile into the phone, "So enjoy your time with your family and everything."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine," I smiled lightly looking down at my stomach.

"I love you," Jonathan mentioned.

"I love you too. Tell your family I said hi."

"I will."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone to run a hand through my hair and let out a sigh. This was going to be harder than I thought. I mean the guys and Talia were right, Jonathan did deserve to know but I was having trouble telling him what was going on. Hell, I was still trying to come to terms with knowing I was pregnant now.

"Did you tell him?"

I jumped at the sound of the voice to turn around to be face to face with Adam. My heart beat slowly came back down just as his eyes locked with mine.

"I don't want to tell him over the phone," I shook my head. "And I'm so scared."

"It'll be fine," Adam hugged me quickly, "Can I tell you what I have to?"

"Do I have a choice?" That sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I knew what it was going to be about.

"Not really," He pulled away from me slowly, "I signed with the Dallas Stars."

"Dallas?" My throat tightened at hearing where he was going. "So you'll be moving to Dallas?"

"Not for a while, maybe around training camp but til then, I'll still be here," He flashed me a smile.

"I don't want you to go to Dallas," I crossed my arms over my chest.

"I know but you knew this could happen."

"You can't. Not now, especially since I'm pregnant now. I'll need you," I looked up at him.

"Hey, I'll be here for a while. And you know you can always call or Skype me."

"I know," I nodded stretching a bit.

"You ok?"

"For the most part," I nodded. "Still freaked about being pregnant."

"You'll be a great mom, don't worry," Adam flashed me a smile.

Over the next week, I spent time at the dance studio, closing Empire, and getting these crazy cravings for exotic food and what not. So I found myself in the kitchen a lot, cooking up things that I didn't finish which meant I often cooked for Adam and Sharpie or anyone who'd show up. I think that's why I found Campbell around the house a lot of times as well as a few others if they were in town.

This day in particular was sucking since I had been up since 6, puking everything I ate the night before, up and into the toilet. It sucked because my stomach would start to feel better and I thought I could eat but the smell of the toast cooking in the kitchen from Adam at then now 9 am, made my stomach churn and caused me to run to the bathroom again. This time I felt Adam pull my hair back.

"Are you sure you're pregnant?" Adam questioned rubbing my back, "What if you're just sick?"

"Those two tests and the hosptial were both positive, Adam." I groaned leaning against the wall. "Trust me, this doesn't feel like being sick, it's a different feeling."

"How so?"

"Only food smells are making my stomach hurt. I'm still starved."

"Poor thing," Adam smiled at him, "Now wouldn't it be something if you were pregnant with twins?"

"Adam Burish, don't you even fucking think of that."

"Hey, it's just a thought," He laughed while I got up to freshen up.