The World Is Still Sleeping, While I Keep on Dreaming

The hospital was busy with people rushing around, getting to doctors, checking people in, everything. I made my way to the front desk where the lady told me where they were.

Gina was still in surgery but Chris had gotten out and was in his room. I walked to the waiting room of the area his room was and debated if I should go in. I knew about the restraining order but still, it was like everything that he did to me, I forgot and thought of him as a human being. Who would've thought, huh?

Jonathan was on his way to the hospital but he was picking up Sharpie and Adam. Then Lucas and everyone else were heading there too. I sat in the chair, thinking when a doctor told me that Chris was awake, I nodded looking at the time to see it was 1 now. Making my decision, I slowly got up to walk to his room.

My mind raced while I stepped into the room, feeling uneasy and nervous about everything, especially him hooked up to machines. I was about to walk out when he sighed then turned to look at me.

"I know you're there," He spoke lightly, "It's ok."

"I just," I stammered, "I mean-"

"You're fine," He looked away from me, "Forget the restraining order for five seconds."

"You're mad about that," I moved slowly over to him.

"I don't understand it," he looked seriously at me, "I thought we were-"

"You hurt me, Chris,," I cut him off to be in silence again, "I'm only here to make sure you're ok because my friend is so in love with you."

"Don't lie to me," He scouffed, "You were worried."

"As much as I hate you," I looked out the window, "You don't deserve to be like this."

"You know it wasn't always as bad as everyone has seen."

"Well except for what you're telling Gina," I shrugged.

"You know what I mean," he cleared his throat for a second, "I did love you."

"I know," I looked back at the window, "but that's the past and we can't go back."

"I know."

"Then stop trying to," I rolled my eyes, "I may not like it but my good friend is so into you, she's having your baby but you won't let it go. You've got to let me go, Chris. I'm not coming back."

"Then why are you here?" He looked at me.

"Because, I told you. I may hate you but I don't want to see this happen to you."

"What do you even see in Jonathan Toews?" He asked with venom in his voice.

"Are you seriously asking me that question?" I crossed my arms to see a figure pass by the open door, "That's the stupidest thing you've ever asked me."

"No it's not. Why are you with him?" Chris pressed again which earned an eye roll from me.

"Because I love him-"

"You barely know him."

"And that makes you the person to tell me who I can and I can't see? Chris, you sitting there, the shit you've put me through, made me do, I barely know you anymore."

"So you just admitted you don't know him?"

"Pronger," I pushed myself away from the wall to move closer to him, "I know more about Jonathan Toews than anyone else does or maybe ever will. Yes, I've only known him for 2 months but when you find that one person who makes your world complete, makes you stop breathing just by looking at them, then it doesn't matter. I don't expect you to understand because you'd never shut up just to listen to that moment of silence. So if you're trying to keep me from him, you won't win."

"Blaze-" He started while I walked towards the door.

"I'm checking on your girlfriend," I mentioned walking into the hallway to turn my head to the left to see Jonathan sitting against the wall.

"He's an ass," He sighed.

"I know," I walked over to him slowly to sink down next to him, "I know you're probably mad I went to see him but I couldn't see him die or something."

"I get it," He nodded looking at me, "You don't have to explain."

"I just-"

"I heard you in there," Jonathan smiled lightly at me, "Thanks for defending me."

"I can't help it," I shoved him with a smirk, "You've grown on me Toews."

"And part of me's growing in you," He smirked to which I pushed him over.

"Get over yourself," I stood up slowly to dust myself off as he did the same.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"It's kinda personal?" He shrugged.

"Ok."

"You don't have to answer it if you don't want to."

"What?" I started walking down the hall with him.

"I know you said you didn't think Chris would ever hurt you like he did, but before you even crashed into my world, did he hurt you like that?"

"When things were good they were amazing," I smiled lightly at the memory, "But when they were bad, god, were they bad."

"Blaze?" Jonathan stopped with a hushed whisper.

"I'll tell you tonight. My new place," I smiled at him the best I could. "For now, can we go see Gina?"

"Of course."

Jonathan took my hand in his, leading me down the hall to a recovery room in which people were walking out of the room Gina was in. I slowly stepped into the room, my shoes squeking against the floor which caused her to look up at me. Her face was cut up and stitched, she had a long gash that started at her shoulder blade and moved down but was bloacked by the gown and her right leg was in a cast.

"Hey," I smiled softly at her, "You look like shit."

"I feel like it too," She half chuckled as I shifted awkwardly.

"Are you-"

"I'm ok," She smiled lightly, tears forming in her eyes with a nod which I knew was my cue for me to hug her.

I hugged her lightly, afraid to hurt her anymore, "I was so scared."

"Me too," She whispered as I pulled away from her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore," She nodded slowly, "But thankful Chris stopped me from going through the window."

"How's your baby?" I questioned looking at her.

"The doctor said it'll be ok," She smiled at me, "He said Chris stopping me, helped."

"That's good," I whispered to look at her, "I'm so sorry."

"Blaze, it wasn't-"

"For not talking to you," I stopped her, "Maybe your right, maybe things are different now."

"Will you tell me your story?" She looked at me, "Of what happened between the two of you?"

"Maybe one day in the future," I smiled at her, "When you're all old and gray and won't hurt me."

"Thank you," Gina smiled at me.

"For what?"

"Being a kick ass friend," She smiled.

"All in the job description," I smirked at her to have her look over my shoulder at Jonathan.

"Keep this one in check for me," She smiled at him.

"I will," Jonathan smiled standing next to me now.

"I'm tired," Gina nodded, "I'll talk later."

"You rest," I smiled at her giving her one last hug, "I'll see you later."

I decided to head back to Sharpie's place, well my new home now too since it was getting later and I was starved. Then I had Jonathan follow me since I think he wanted to know what I had to tell him. Getting out of the car, which reached there before Jonathan did since he got stopped at a few lights, I walked up to Patrick's conda which was now, Patrick, Abby, and my condo but I still felt weird calling mine. Patrick wasn't home which was a good thing since before Jonathan got there, I stepped out onto the balcony to take out a cigarette. I knew I shouldn't but everything that happened this morning was crazy and too much.

Feeling the nicotine hit my lungs, I let out a long breath just as voice behind me caused me to jump.

"Jonathan's going to kill you," I heard Abby behind me as I spun around.

"I'm not addicted," I went back to my cigarette before she joined me.

"You know this isn't good for you or the twins."

"I know," I nodded leaning against the railing, "But I'll stop."

"Patrick knows you do it," She picked at her fingernails.

"I know."

"That's why he wants to talk to you tonight. We both do."

"When's he coming back?"

"He's at the gym with Adam, so 6 or so."

"Alright," I nodded then heard the door, "Can you get that? It's Jonathan."

"Of course," She smiled to head to the door as I stomped out the half used cigarette before he walked through the door.

I walked back into the house to smile at him. Abby smiled at the two of us before grabbing her keys and taking Shooter out the door. My guesses were that she was taking for a walk then probably picking up dinner since no one really wanted to cook lately. It was a bit lazy but the three of us have just been so busy that by time we all get home, no one wants to do anything.

"Come on," I motioned to Jonathan towards the couch, "It's better if you sit to hear this."

I took a seat on the couch in the corner, my knees pulled up to my chest as Jonathan sat in a chair that faced me. What I was about to tell him, I never told anyone. I even tried to deny to myself for the longest time but it was time to come clean and get things like this off my chest.

"I'm sure you've seen my other tattoo, right?" I questioned referring to the one that I hardly shown anyone. It wasn't bad or anything, it just it had painful memories as to why I got it.

"You mean the AAR and lyrics?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," I nodded, "It's my All American Rejects tattoo which any normal fan would've shown off to them but the story behind it hurts too much."

"What happened?"

"The lyrics are from their song "Stab My Back" you know chorus?" I questioned as he nodded, "I got it after the first time anything happened with me and Chris that I tried to deny."

"What happened?" He questioned quieter.

"Chris just won a game with his team," I thought back to that day, my eyes fixed on a spot on the coffee table, "The team went out to celebrate so he took me with them. There was a lot of drinking and everything but Chris didn't drink much since he was anitbotics at the same time, and he was being responsible. Anyways, we got home a few hours later, a few of his teammates came to the house to hang out but Chris's mood change. He was tense, something I've never noticed before.'

'Anyways, the night before I had been at Empire til 4 am with inventory and shippment which caused me to come home late. Chris said he understood but that night he snapped. I was in the bedroom, changing into some active wear clothes when he closed our bedroom door. He started yelling at me about coming home late, being gone a lot, working at Coyote and lying to his parents, he wouldn't listen to me. Then I tried to leave him but he wouldn't let me. He pushed me against the wall, punched the wall behind him, which I told him he didn't scare me'

'That's what sent him off even more, he grabbed my arm to toss me to the other side of the room and before I could stop him or anything, I felt the blow to my face. It's then when I grabbed my face and felt the tears in my eyes that he realized what he did, but by then I was already gone. I went to get this tattoo because I felt like he stabbed me in the back and it was just so fitting. When I came home that night, he apologized for what he did, claimed he'd never do it again but I should've seen through the lie."

"He hit you again?" Jonathan's voice raised slightly.

"I had a pregnancy scare just after the first time he cheated on me," I looked down at my knees, "He told me I was a whore and it wasn't his. Then pushed me around and hit me but he always made sure he could hide his marks. I thank god that I wasn't, it was like some silent prayer was answered."

"Blaze, I didn't-"

"I didn't want anyone to know," I looked towards him. "I think that's why it took me so long to tell you. There was part of me that was still scared of what Chris did and I didn't want to test the waters and have it happen again."

"I'm so sorry," Jonathan moved off the chair to wrap his arms around me, "I'm not him."

"I know," I nodded slowly, "I was just scared at first but seeing your face yesterday and seeing how much you care, I know I've finally found the right person."

"What about Gina?"

"I honestly don't know," I shrugged, "I mean she's still a friend but after everything, especially with her, things change. So who knows at this point."

"I love you Blaze," Jonathan kissed my temple.

"I love you too," I smiled but shook out of his grasp.

"What?" He looked up at me standing up to which my smirk appeared.

"Enough serious stuff," I stretched, "It's why too depressing and I don't feel like going through any more drama tonight."

"So?" He watched me, "What should we do til Sharpie and Abby come back?"

"Well," I drew out to see a smirk start to spread on his face, "Talk about why the hell I have to tell your couch and parents tomorrow about our twins?"

"Blaze, come on," Jonathan stood up, "You know we've got to."

"We? What's with all this we stuff?" I smirked walking off.

"Because we're still a couple."

"I'm sorry, who are you again?" I questioned seriously to have him send me a glare.

"Not funny."

"No seriously," I kept looking at him, "do, I know you?"

"You're still going to drive me insane, aren't you?"

"Oh wait, you're Jonathan Toews," I smirked at him not paying attention to him, "Wow, dude no offense or anything but Patrick Sharp is so much hotter than you."

"Blaze," He sighed just as I ran from him and the front door opened to reveal Patrick and Adam, and a soon now present Abby.

"What are they doing?" Adam questioned just as Shooter and Abby walked back in.

"She told him Patrick's hotter again," Abby smiled with a shake of her head, "Can't say I don't blame her."

"Still?" Adam questioned just as I ran into Adam and hugged him tightly.

"Base!" I stuck my tongue out at Jonathan, hiding next to Adam.

"Bur, move," Jonathan looked at him.

"Ok."

"I hate you!" I shouted at Adam just as Jonathan threw me over his shoulder to throw me on the couch and tickle me.

"10 bucks says they're married before Halloween," Patrick mentioned to Adam.

"Make it 20 before pre-season starts," Adam stuck out his hand to which they shook hands.

"Deal," Patrick smiled back at him.