The World Is Still Sleeping, While I Keep on Dreaming

Jonathan was now quiet in his apartment, leaving me to find something to drink but him in that awkward, yet uncomfortable silence of his own. I wasn't uncomfortable but you could tell something was bothering him. He still hadn't told me what Patrick had to say, so I guess I had to get it out of him.

"So?" I drew out slowlyl stirring my tea then joining him on the couch, "What's this about that whore taking things now?"

"It's kinda personal," He mumbled slightly.

"Then how did Kaner know?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Um, promise not to get mad at me?" He gave me a sincere look.

"Why? It's not like you bought an engagement ring and now it's missing just as you were going to purpose, right?" I smirked at him to see if that smirk would creep across his face but he still had that serious look on his face. "I'm joking, Jonathan. It's a bit early to get engaged, don't you think?" He still sat there stiff as my heart speed up. "Tell me it's not a ring, Jonathan."

"It's not a ring," He finally got out but played with his fingers, "but would it be totally crazy if I did happen to buy one and did ask you to marry me?"

"I still think it's a little too soon," I shrugged thinking of it, "I couldn't give you a straight answer right now anyways."

"So you're unsure about spending the rest of your life with me?" He questioned now finding a way to turn this around or whatever he was doing.

"No, that's not it," I rolled my eyes shaking my head a bit, "I love you. Really I do. It's just the thought of marriage, I don't know. It makes me nervous."

"How?"

"For one, we haven't even lived together yet," I pointed out, "You just gave me a key to your apartment, you haven't asked me to move in with you yet. And we're still getting on each other's nerves to the point where we don't talk to each other for three days."

"So, if I were to get down on one knee right now," Jonathan shifted to look at me, "And ask you those four words, what would you do?"

"Can we not talk about this?" I shifted trying to break his gaze, "We should really talk about what Kaner called about and what Sabrina did take."

"Why are you so edgy on the subject?" He pushed.

"Because, I need time, Tazer," I stood up from the couch walking away from him. "I need time to wrap my head around everything before I can be totally sure that I want to settle down with you."

"So you'll wear my jersey, you'd move in with me, and you'll have my babies, yet you won't get engaged."

"Honestly I feel like it's all just because I'm pregnant," I looked over at him, "Are you sure you're not feeling the pressure of your parents about having kids out of wedlock? Because if you are, don't listen to them."

"I just want to know what we have is real."

"Oh, it's fucking real," I crossed my arms at him, "In this short time you've saved my life, stole my heart and kept it. I want you to but marriage doesn't make anything real."

"So is it completely out of the question?" He countered as I rolled my eyes with a sigh.

"Right now, yes. I need time. Please?"

"I can't wait forever for you to decide," He mentioned but I just shook my head, directing my eyes up and to the right.

"Are you being serious right now?" I looked back at him, "You see, this is why I can't give you a decision. This is why I'm so edgy about things with you. Hell, it's why I called you Captain Bi-polar that first day we met. I swear to you, you'll get an answer but if it comes at the cost of me losing you to some other girl, then you're not being real."

"Most girls wouldn't have to take time to decide."

"Did you fail to notice we aren't most couples?" I countered back but he stayed silent. "God, see, I just came back with after not talking to you for three days and we're fighting. I'm tired of it." I went to pick up my keys and purse as he watched.

"Where are you going?" Jonathan stood slowlyl up.

"I don't know," I shrugged throwing my arms in the air, "Somewhere. Anywhere. Someplace where I won't be so annoyed with you!"

"Blaze, come on," Jonathan walked towards me.

"Just stop," I backed away from him, "Let it go, Jonathan."

I got in my car, only to sit at the steering wheel and look at it. I couldn't leave the parking lot. I don't know what it was but my heart wouldn't let me leave. It wanted me to head back up to his apartment and apologize or something. But then on the other hand, my mind was screaming to run, get away, just leave. They keys were in the ignition but my heart was keeping it from starting when I heard a knock at the passenger side window.

Jumping slightly, I seen Jonathan standing there, a serious look on his face, motioning for me to open the door. I pressed the unlock button, then watched as he got in the car next to me. I rested my elbow on the door then put my head in my hand, the silence still between the two of us.

"I'm sorry," He whispered into the darkening car surrounding the two of us, "I didn't mean to jump into things like that."

"It's a big decision, Jonathan," I looked at him, "Are you sure you even want to commit to that with a girl like me."

"Yes," He sighed looking out the window, "and before you ask, I have thought about it for a while now."

"I'm sorry for snapping at you like that," I ran my fingers down the console, "It's just I've seen marriages fall apart at such a young age and I didn't want that to happen to us. I don't want to lose you."

"I won't let it," His fingers met mine,"I promise I'll do everything I can to keep us together."

"I don't want you to be miserable too."

"Hey," He turned my face to look at him, "I won't be miserable. Just seeing your smile, even when we're fighting like cats and dogs, makes my world so much better." I smiled lightly at him to his grow wider. "See, I knew you had one in you."

"Jerk," I pushed his hand away to hear him chuckle but still felt bad.

"You wanna come back in?" He motioned his head to his apartment, "I promise no more marriage talk."

"Ok," I got out of the car.

"As long as you promise not to get too upset about what I had to tell you in the first place."

"Fine."

Jonathan helped me out of the car then carried me all the way back up to his apartment where he sat me down on the couch, then put my legs in his lap. His fingers ran up and down my shins as I leant against the arm rest waiting for him to tell me what he was going to.

"Ok, so where to start?" He cleared his throat.

"Um, to what Sabrina took that night when I said she would," I smirked at him.

"Right," He ran his hands up my thigh which caused me to shiver but I pushed those thoughts aside, "My parents told me they did leave my apartment for a while that night. They went down to the ice shoppe not far from here for about an hour before coming back. Anyways, when they did come back, Sabrina was watching something on TV, so they didn't think anything happened."

"Highly unlikely," I rolled my eyes.

"It's what I thought. So when I came back, I found that some things were out of place in my room, it was like she had been looking for something."

"And?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"It's why Kaner's been calling. There have been rumours circulating on message boards, chats, things like that about our tape."

"The tape?" My eyes went wide as he nodded, "Oh my god, I so just ruined your hockey career didn't I?"

"No, no, you didn't," Jonathan stopped me quickly, "Right now, they're just rumours and she may not even have the tape, she could've just seen it or something and decided to make the rumour up."

"Do you still have the tape?" I questioned.

"I looked where I kept it locked away but haven't found it yet."

"Well come on," I stood up then held my hand to help him up, "You need a fresh pair of eyes to help you look for it."

"But what if she has it?"

"Something tells me, she doesn't," I smiled at him, "I mean she may be an evil diabolic bitch, but I don't she took the tape."

"You think she watched it?" Jonathan questioned while I walked towards his room.

"No doubt," I smirked looking behind me, "But she strikes me as the type of girl who isn't the brightest crayon in the crayon box."

"She wasn't," Jonathan chuckled to himself.

"So, I'm betting the tape's still here because when you're parents walked back in, she freaked and stashed it somewhere. Hopefully that somewhere isn't in the wrong hands."

"But what about the rumour?" Jonathan questioned.

"It's a rumour," I smirked at him, "With no hard evidence, it's hard to prove."

"You're right."

"Although," I started looking around things, "It would really suck if she wanted to get back at me and make me out to be a bad person and put the tape in your parents luggage and labeled it "family memories" or something."

"Speaking from experience?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"No, a friend's," I smiled back, "And in that case, we'd still be fucked, just not on a media, everyone knowing basis."