The World Is Still Sleeping, While I Keep on Dreaming
Here Is Gone
Slowly my head left his chest while he sat up to answer his door. I straightened my hair, then grabbed my clothes to change without saying a word to Jonathan as I did. I could hear Patrick in the room from the bathroom which I knew was probably to head to the airport.
I slid my jeans on, then walked out of the bathroom while pulling my shirt over my bruised body.
"Hey Blaze," Patrick nodded towards me with a half smile on his face.
"Hey," I grabbed my keys and phone from the table to look at Jonathan, "Hey, I'll see you in Philly."
"You don't have to leave," He rushed over to me, "I can take you back."
"You've got to catch a plane," I smiled lightly at him, "Besides I've got to get to work."
"You don't have a car."
"Burko doesn't live far from here," I gave him a smile while his eyes were still locked on mine, "I'll just meet up with him and we'll get some coffee before heading in."
"Are you sure?"
"Fine," I smiled at him while opening his door, "I'll see you later."
I seen the look that Patrick gave Jonathan, one that looked like "sorry" or something and I could see the look in Jonathan's eyes that looked hurt, but I had this feeling that if I let him get too close than one of us might get hurt. I knew I was probably overreacting but everything with Chris was making me retreat farther back than I wanted to.
Everything in my body was telling me to turn back around and run up to Jonathan to kiss him goodbye and wish him good luck before he got on the plane but my feet kept carrying me in the opposite direction.
Like I said, Burko didn't live far away either. Well ok, a 45 minute walk but still, it wasn't too bad. Once I made it to his apartment, he welcomed me in but knew I had a lot on my mind and he wouldn't let the bruises go either. It's why I knew I would break with his questions since he knew about my relationship with Chris from the start and everything that's been happening in between, except this until now.
"Here," He slid me a cup of coffee as I stucked down the sweet taste of nicotine which I hadn't done in 7 months.
"Thanks," I smiled lightly while he sat across from me, "I know I'm a mess right now but I'll be ok once I get into Empire."
"You do know he cares about you," Burko looked at me referring to Jonathan.
"They all do," I mumbled while taking my last hit off the cigarette before putting it out in the ash tray.
"But Jonathan's not the one who broke you," He pointed out as I rolled my eyes, "To me, from what it sounds like he really does like you and cares more about you then the others."
"What's your point?"
"That you shouldn't be pushing him away like this. It's been 7 months Blaze, give the poor guy a chance before you block him out completely."
"We should go to work," I stood up quickly, "Joe's coming in today."
Work didn't help either, from the playlist that was playing in the background, it seemed to describe my feelings. What was even creepier was when Goo Goo Dolls "Here is Gone" started playing which the line "I'm not the one who broke you..." stuck in my head while I rested my head on my hand at the front counter thinking. Yet I still couldn't bring myself to text Jonathan or call him. Joe was in the backroom with Lucas and Burko so if I didn't text him they wouldn't know. Not they minded but they'd rather me be working than texting to someone who I knew was probably upset with me.
I watched the people walk down the street as it was still too early and there were like 5 people total in the store right now. I actually wished it was busier so it'd keep my mind off everything. My plane wasn't leaving til 6 tonight and I was leaving at noon to pack the rest of my things then have Paula pick me up to head to the airport.
By 10, the hours flew by before I found myself rushing around Adam's apartment to finish packing everything that I needed. I heard my phone ring in my pocket but I ignored it just because I needed to get things done before I left. Granted Adam's place and now mine was pretty organized but all my stuff was still everywhere. As I finished my last suitcase, I sighed, taking my phone out of my pocket to see I had like 5 missed calls from Jonathan, two from Adam, 3 texts from Patrick, 5 texts from Sharpie, and then a text from Paula telling me, she was on her way to pick me up.
Deciding that I'd call everyone back and what not later, I got my things outside to see a yellow taxi pull up and Paula help to put my bags in the car then get to the airport.
The plane ride didn't take too long but I found myself falling asleep on the ride instead of getting back to everyone like I wanted to. Once it landed and I got my bags and everything, it was close to midnight as Paula drove to the hotel we were staying at but I took out my phone to find where Adam and Sharpie were.
After a few rings, Adam finally answered his phone as my smile spread across my face.
"Hey, sorry I didn't get back to you earlier. I got busy," I hoped he bought that since it was pretty much the truth.
"It's fine. Are you in town yet?" I heard him yawn.
"Yeah, we just got to the hotel but I wanted to talk to you guys."
"You need to talk to Jonathan," He sighed as I knew someone was going to say that, "Seriously, Blaze, he's not the reason that any of this happened to you. He's just trying to help you and he fell for you but he never caused any of these bad things."
"I know," I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Is he still up?"
"I don't know," He paused on the otherside, "He might be."
Adam told we their room number and their hotel in which they were staying as I made my way over to them. I got to Adam and Sharpie's room to find Kaner still up and talking to them. It must've been worse than I thought. As I stepped into the room, I was met with an icy glare from him.
"Hey," I smiled lightly, "Nice greeting."
"Dude, you need to talk to him," Patrick looked at me, "he's worse than usual. I swear it's Captain Bi-polar times ten."
"It's why I'm here," I smiled lightly then walked to the direction of their room with Patrick who let me in as the room was dark except for the light coming from the TV.
I seen Jonathan laying stretched out across the bed, staring at the ceiling as I cleared my throat slightly which got his attention.
"Hey." I flashed him a sweet smile as he didn't look at me.
"Hi."
"Look," I moved closer to him as I sat on the edge of the bed next to him, "I'm sorry for acting how I did before I left. I just I got nervous."
"Nervous about what?" He asked in a serious tone, no concern or anything in it.
"Letting you get too close. I didn't want to hurt you." I picked at the comforter hoping that he wouldn't be pissed.
"I'm not like him." He spoke with venom in his voice as I nodded.
"I know that," I looked up at him to see his eyes meet mine, "I just, I don't know. I thought if I got too close to you, you'd end up seeing all my flaws you haven't yet and you'd want nothing to do with me."
"I've seen you with a bleeding cut above your eye and haven't left you," He looked at me seriously.
"I know and I'm tired of trying to keep you out. It's not working for me," I nodded while keeping my serious face still on, "I don't want you to be kept out."
Jonathan sat up slowly to watch my eyes, slowly bringing up a hand to my cheek and running his fingers lightly over the bruise under my eye and on my lip before slowly leaning in to kiss my lips. He slowly leant me back against the mattress, careful not to crush me with his weight as he didn't break his kiss from me. My fingers ran through his hair when his beard scratched me and I pulled back from him.
"What?" He asked while looking into my now smiling eyes that moved down to my lips.
"I'm not going any farther with you until you shave."
"But-" He started as I pressed a finger to his lips.
"I'll kiss you but that's it until you shave."
"But the finals aren't over yet," He whined as I smirked up at him.
"I guess you'll have to just wait then huh?" I smirked as he rolled his eyes, "Not to mention, nothing official with us yet."
"You drive me crazy, you know that right?" He raised an eyebrow as I nodded.
"You know you like it?" I smirked as he leant down to kiss me again which I pulled back from with a smile, "And you need sleep and I've got to get back to my hotel room."
"You know, they're going to wonder they I'm losing my mind," He looked at me while I slinked out from underneath him.
"And I'll tell them it's because you're crazy and unstabble."
"Blaze," He groaned as I stood up with a smirk to head to the doors.
"Bon nuit, Jonathan."
I slid my jeans on, then walked out of the bathroom while pulling my shirt over my bruised body.
"Hey Blaze," Patrick nodded towards me with a half smile on his face.
"Hey," I grabbed my keys and phone from the table to look at Jonathan, "Hey, I'll see you in Philly."
"You don't have to leave," He rushed over to me, "I can take you back."
"You've got to catch a plane," I smiled lightly at him, "Besides I've got to get to work."
"You don't have a car."
"Burko doesn't live far from here," I gave him a smile while his eyes were still locked on mine, "I'll just meet up with him and we'll get some coffee before heading in."
"Are you sure?"
"Fine," I smiled at him while opening his door, "I'll see you later."
I seen the look that Patrick gave Jonathan, one that looked like "sorry" or something and I could see the look in Jonathan's eyes that looked hurt, but I had this feeling that if I let him get too close than one of us might get hurt. I knew I was probably overreacting but everything with Chris was making me retreat farther back than I wanted to.
Everything in my body was telling me to turn back around and run up to Jonathan to kiss him goodbye and wish him good luck before he got on the plane but my feet kept carrying me in the opposite direction.
Like I said, Burko didn't live far away either. Well ok, a 45 minute walk but still, it wasn't too bad. Once I made it to his apartment, he welcomed me in but knew I had a lot on my mind and he wouldn't let the bruises go either. It's why I knew I would break with his questions since he knew about my relationship with Chris from the start and everything that's been happening in between, except this until now.
"Here," He slid me a cup of coffee as I stucked down the sweet taste of nicotine which I hadn't done in 7 months.
"Thanks," I smiled lightly while he sat across from me, "I know I'm a mess right now but I'll be ok once I get into Empire."
"You do know he cares about you," Burko looked at me referring to Jonathan.
"They all do," I mumbled while taking my last hit off the cigarette before putting it out in the ash tray.
"But Jonathan's not the one who broke you," He pointed out as I rolled my eyes, "To me, from what it sounds like he really does like you and cares more about you then the others."
"What's your point?"
"That you shouldn't be pushing him away like this. It's been 7 months Blaze, give the poor guy a chance before you block him out completely."
"We should go to work," I stood up quickly, "Joe's coming in today."
Work didn't help either, from the playlist that was playing in the background, it seemed to describe my feelings. What was even creepier was when Goo Goo Dolls "Here is Gone" started playing which the line "I'm not the one who broke you..." stuck in my head while I rested my head on my hand at the front counter thinking. Yet I still couldn't bring myself to text Jonathan or call him. Joe was in the backroom with Lucas and Burko so if I didn't text him they wouldn't know. Not they minded but they'd rather me be working than texting to someone who I knew was probably upset with me.
I watched the people walk down the street as it was still too early and there were like 5 people total in the store right now. I actually wished it was busier so it'd keep my mind off everything. My plane wasn't leaving til 6 tonight and I was leaving at noon to pack the rest of my things then have Paula pick me up to head to the airport.
By 10, the hours flew by before I found myself rushing around Adam's apartment to finish packing everything that I needed. I heard my phone ring in my pocket but I ignored it just because I needed to get things done before I left. Granted Adam's place and now mine was pretty organized but all my stuff was still everywhere. As I finished my last suitcase, I sighed, taking my phone out of my pocket to see I had like 5 missed calls from Jonathan, two from Adam, 3 texts from Patrick, 5 texts from Sharpie, and then a text from Paula telling me, she was on her way to pick me up.
Deciding that I'd call everyone back and what not later, I got my things outside to see a yellow taxi pull up and Paula help to put my bags in the car then get to the airport.
The plane ride didn't take too long but I found myself falling asleep on the ride instead of getting back to everyone like I wanted to. Once it landed and I got my bags and everything, it was close to midnight as Paula drove to the hotel we were staying at but I took out my phone to find where Adam and Sharpie were.
After a few rings, Adam finally answered his phone as my smile spread across my face.
"Hey, sorry I didn't get back to you earlier. I got busy," I hoped he bought that since it was pretty much the truth.
"It's fine. Are you in town yet?" I heard him yawn.
"Yeah, we just got to the hotel but I wanted to talk to you guys."
"You need to talk to Jonathan," He sighed as I knew someone was going to say that, "Seriously, Blaze, he's not the reason that any of this happened to you. He's just trying to help you and he fell for you but he never caused any of these bad things."
"I know," I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Is he still up?"
"I don't know," He paused on the otherside, "He might be."
Adam told we their room number and their hotel in which they were staying as I made my way over to them. I got to Adam and Sharpie's room to find Kaner still up and talking to them. It must've been worse than I thought. As I stepped into the room, I was met with an icy glare from him.
"Hey," I smiled lightly, "Nice greeting."
"Dude, you need to talk to him," Patrick looked at me, "he's worse than usual. I swear it's Captain Bi-polar times ten."
"It's why I'm here," I smiled lightly then walked to the direction of their room with Patrick who let me in as the room was dark except for the light coming from the TV.
I seen Jonathan laying stretched out across the bed, staring at the ceiling as I cleared my throat slightly which got his attention.
"Hey." I flashed him a sweet smile as he didn't look at me.
"Hi."
"Look," I moved closer to him as I sat on the edge of the bed next to him, "I'm sorry for acting how I did before I left. I just I got nervous."
"Nervous about what?" He asked in a serious tone, no concern or anything in it.
"Letting you get too close. I didn't want to hurt you." I picked at the comforter hoping that he wouldn't be pissed.
"I'm not like him." He spoke with venom in his voice as I nodded.
"I know that," I looked up at him to see his eyes meet mine, "I just, I don't know. I thought if I got too close to you, you'd end up seeing all my flaws you haven't yet and you'd want nothing to do with me."
"I've seen you with a bleeding cut above your eye and haven't left you," He looked at me seriously.
"I know and I'm tired of trying to keep you out. It's not working for me," I nodded while keeping my serious face still on, "I don't want you to be kept out."
Jonathan sat up slowly to watch my eyes, slowly bringing up a hand to my cheek and running his fingers lightly over the bruise under my eye and on my lip before slowly leaning in to kiss my lips. He slowly leant me back against the mattress, careful not to crush me with his weight as he didn't break his kiss from me. My fingers ran through his hair when his beard scratched me and I pulled back from him.
"What?" He asked while looking into my now smiling eyes that moved down to my lips.
"I'm not going any farther with you until you shave."
"But-" He started as I pressed a finger to his lips.
"I'll kiss you but that's it until you shave."
"But the finals aren't over yet," He whined as I smirked up at him.
"I guess you'll have to just wait then huh?" I smirked as he rolled his eyes, "Not to mention, nothing official with us yet."
"You drive me crazy, you know that right?" He raised an eyebrow as I nodded.
"You know you like it?" I smirked as he leant down to kiss me again which I pulled back from with a smile, "And you need sleep and I've got to get back to my hotel room."
"You know, they're going to wonder they I'm losing my mind," He looked at me while I slinked out from underneath him.
"And I'll tell them it's because you're crazy and unstabble."
"Blaze," He groaned as I stood up with a smirk to head to the doors.
"Bon nuit, Jonathan."