The World Is Still Sleeping, While I Keep on Dreaming

I had to follow Paula around the entire day before the game, listening to her babble on and on about stories she had to cover and their ideas. To be honest, I wasn't feeling it. I wasn't feeling much of anything right now. I think it was being here in Philly, so close to where there were so many memories of the good times with Chris and the fights we had.

"So you never did say where you got those bruises," Paula started as I rolled my head to look at her, "What?"

"I wasn't planning on it." I sighed as we kept walking minus a camera man now.

"They look painful," She pointed out, trying to get me to break but I wouldn't.

"They're not too bad."

"Blaze," She sighed while stopping to look at me, "was it a guy?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," I shook my head as we kept walking but Paula wouldn't let it go.

"No, wait, Blaze. Come on, I've known you for close to two years, you're probably one of the coolest interns who've stuck with us for a while. You can talk to me."

"Off the record?" I questioned hoping she wouldn't say anything to anyone.

"Off the record," She nodded with a smile, "As a friend."

"Have you ever just had a relationship so full of passion and energy that you didn't want it to stop?" I looked at her smiling at the memory. "One that could make any hot summer night seem like a winter one?"

"I can't say I did exactly," She shook her head as I let out a light chuckle.

"Not many people have," I looked down then went on, "I did and it was magical. It was fun, exciting, gave me hope to a life that seemed so dull and boring. Ever since the first night we met, we were crazy, wild, bold, daring, everything and it never seemed to stop."

"What happened?" She asked while we stopped at a tree as I watched the people walk past me.

"All good things come to an end. But when you're on that high like we were, they don't just end, like any normal relationship would."

"Blaze?" She questioned as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"He was sweet. His family loved me, my family loved him. Then after a year together, he decided that he wanted to bring home some blond whore from the bar. I ended it that night but he wouldn't let it go. He swore he would win me back, that I'd regret leaving him."

"And?" She questioned as the slight breeze blew my hair across my face.

"I found that being single for 7 months changed things. I liked my new life, liked having to be alone. I finally felt like my wild ride came to a stop and I could see things for what they were." I let my smile creep across my face for a bit but then it slowly faded. "But for him, he still wanted me back in his life. Back to how we were. But people change."

"And he did this?" Paula gasped as she looked at my face in which my eyes barely looked at her.

"Never in a million years did I think it'd go to this extreme. I loved him and I thought he'd never hurt me in this way. I guess I was wrong."

"Oh my god," She gasped at me as she studied my face. "What's his name? I'll hurt him or something."

"Paula, let it go," I shook my head lightly, "This isn't your fight."

"But no one and I mean no one deserves to be treated like this."

"I'm fine now," I smiled at her, "Trust me."

"You don't look fine," She tried to reason with me.

"I've got people watching my back. And I've finally found someone that's slowly finding himself into my heart."

"So there is a new guy," Paula smirked now changing the subject, "I was wondering where you went last night."

"What are you talking about?" I blushed while walking away from a tree.

"You don't think I noticed you weren't missing? Come on, where'd you go?"

"Do reporters always have to be so nosy?" I questioned with a smile as we kept walking and she followed me.

"It's my job," I heard her follow me but I wasn't going to tell her what happened, "And besides you've moved. Now, are you going to tell me who you're living with?"

"Maybe," I smirked at her, "maybe not."

"Blaze, I swear-" She shook her head as I bumped into someone wearing a Flyers jersey from behind which had Chris Pronger's name and number on it.

"Pronger's an ass," I mumbled as I hoped that person wouldn't hear when they turned around to look at me, "Excuse me."

I moved passed the person quickly as I knew Paula probably heard me but I just didn't want to be on the streets. Especially since we were walking to a strip of the street that I used to roam with Chris that probably still had employees working there who were familiar with us. I was about to make my escape to head to the hotel room again when I heard it.

"Blaze Chasez?" I turned a girl's voice in which I turned around to be face to face with some "old friend" of Chris's who used to live not far from us when I stayed in Philly.

"No, you've got me confused with someone else," I shook my head and started to walk.

"No, you were dating Chris Pronger for the longest time," She smiled at me as she continued and Paula stopped as well as a crowd now, "Everyone around here thought he'd pop the question. We heard about the break up? Did you guys work through it?"

"No," I glared at her in a low voice, "He's an ass. I broke up with him and never want to see him again."

"I wouldn't say those words too loudly around here," She half chuckled as I rolled my eyes.

"He's not the person everyone thinks he is," I kept my glare at her, "if they knew half the truth of what he does on his own time, then they'd think twice."

"You're a Chicago fan, aren't you?"

"That has nothing to do with why I hate Chris," I spat as my anger grew, "I'm not debating this. If you want to fuck him, then be my guest."

I walked off as I heard Paula follow me, in which I knew she connected what was going on but I didn't want to talk about it. It was just frustrating and annoying that everyone wanted to praise him but I couldn't do it. I couldn't put aside what he's done to me in the past couple weeks just like that, like they've never happened.

I found myself walking to the Blackhawks hotel rooms in which I was hoping that these next two games and the time inbetween them would fly by since I really didn't want to be here. I made it up to the team's floor in which I was going to knock on their doors but I ended up sliding down the wall in the hall, my tears forming in my eyes.

I heard a door open then feet move over to me, then someone pick me up in their arms to take me out of the hallway. My mind was hazy as I was being moved but I took a look to my side to see Jonathan pulling me through the door then shut it behind him. I knew he sighed heavily since he was there yet again to pick up my broken pieces.

"What happened?" He asked as he sat on the edge of the bed and me on the chair across from him.

"I opened up and all that happened was I bled."

"What are you talking about?" He questioned looking at me like some crazy person.

"Paula wanted to talk to me about stories and stuff which then off the record, she asked about who did this," I pointed towards my battle scars now, "I didn't tell her but I told her the story of me and Chris."

"And?"

"It just, opened a door. Too many memoriese, too much good to think it all went this bad."

"You never told me the whole story," He watched me as I nodded then told him everything that I had told Paula in which he took it all in.

"Til then," I sighed while looking at him, "I thought I was fine being by myself but when I broke down, no one was there to fix me, tell me everything was going to be ok. Nothing, I was alone."

"You didn't talk to anyone about it?" He questioned as I shook my head.

"Yeah, almost everyone loved him in my family and I couldn't open up to anyone about the whole desire he brought out in me. Then how I felt when he broke my heart into a million pieces by cheating on me."

"That had to suck," Jonathan looked at me as I nodded.

"It did," I smiled lightly, "he didn't think he did anything wrong and always said it was a mistake if I left him. It's a mistake I even met him now."

"So have you given up on trying to find love?" Jonathan questioned, sending me to actually think for a second.

"Not really. I've just kinda fell back a bit, you know? Let love find me for a change. Let Mr. Right walk up to me and follow me around until I realize it."

"So, I never did ask," He shifted a bit in his spot, "what do you look for in Mr. Right?"

"Looks aren't everything but if his personality was good and his intentions, I'd find him attractive. He'd have to be sweet, caring, always helping others. And I know it'll sound crazy but I want him to challenge me. I want him to annoy the crap out of me so I can do it back to him yet still not totally mean it."

"Sounds like you just described Bur," Jonathan chuckled lightly as I snickered.

"He's like that long lost best friend I've been missing," I smiled lightly at him. "There's actually someone else who I've got in mind. Not to mention, he seems to be picking up my pieces pretty easily."

"Really?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Sure, he can't fix me but I'm not sure if anyone can fix me."

"Give it time," Jonathan looked over at me, "You gave up on love but what if it never gave up on you? Maybe all you need is a little patience?"

"Maybe," I smiled while locking eyes with him to hear my stomach grumbled, "Sorry."

"I was just going to go eat with the team," Jonathan smiled while standing, "Wanna come with?"

"Sure," I shrugged as I took his now outstretched hand.

"Maybe tonight you'd join me on the roof and we can talk more about what you're not saying about Chris?"

"Why?"

"I want to help mend the pieces of your heart," He looked at me seriously. "You shouldn't be cold forever."