The World Is Still Sleeping, While I Keep on Dreaming

You Almost Lost Me

"What the fuck does "I'm sorry" mean?" I gritted through my teeth on phone.

"I'm sorry," He stammered on the other end.

"Then you wouldn't have fucking done it!" I snapped as I heard his response.

"I'm sorry Blaze, it's just-" Jonathan started again.

"No, you don't get to explain," I felt my eyes on the edge of tears. "It was fucking Sabrina! Sabrina, Jonathan!"

"I know and-" Jonathan started.

I didn't want to hear him, it was half my hormones, half my actual pissed off self not wanting to talk to him anyone. I just hung up the phone and tossed it onto the couch, proceeding to cry as my knees were pulled up to my chest. I had locked the door, hoping he didn't come home tonight. I was mainly pissed off because he told me he was going to a movie premier with Kaner only to end up being there with Sabrina. Honestly, I may not have found out but media was around and word from Ryan Manno and a few friends in broadcasting texted me to let me know what wsa going on.

My heart broke in an instant, not only because he was out with Sabrina but because he lied to me. Of all things, he just had to lie and couldn't say who he was with. Granted she could've just been there but he could've said that when he texted me a few minutes before everyone else did.

I sat there, tears rolling down my cheeks when there was a knock at my door. I got up from my spot to answer it to see Duncan standing there with Kelly as I went back to my spot on the couch. They were both coming over for a movie night but now, I wasn't feeling it. I wasn't feeling anything right now.

"Blaze," Kelly walked over to me. "What's wrong?"

"I told Jonathan he could go to a movie premier," I shrugged hugging my knees. "I'm fine."

"That's not the look of someone who's fine," Duncan pointed out.

"Duncan," Kelly looked at him as he took a deep breath.

"Yeah, well, I'm as fine as I could be when I've been lied to," I pushed tears back with my hand. "I mean if you're going to hang out with your ex-girlfriend, don't fucking lie about it when I ask you."

"Aww, sweetheart," Kelly looked at me.

"Wait," Duncan stopped what he was doing and had all his attention focused on me. "Is Jonathan out with an ex-girlfriend at this movie premier that he damn well could've taken you?"

"Yeah," I sniffled. "With Sabrina and he lied about who he was with," I nodded as I tried to hold the tears back. "I had to find out from people like Ryan Manno who he was actually with."

"Blaze," Kelly started.

"And you know the worst part?" I let out a bitter snicker. "The worst part is he just apologized over and over again for being out with her. And I didn't even have to say anything. I mean the fuck did he just do that he's got to apologize like that?"

"I'm going to kill him," Duncan finally seemed to exhale as Kelly shot him a look.

"No one is going to kill anyone," She shoot him a look then looked at me. "Blaze needs us, especially since Abby and Sharpie aren't here."

"I just want to be alone," I sniffled.

"No," Duncan shook his head. "You're not staying alone tonight. You're too far along right now and you're not in the right place emotionally."

"I just," I took a deep breath. "I don't know. It just feels like he stabbed me in the heart and it hurts."

"Because he shouldn't of lied," Kelly rubbed my back. "He should've just told you."

"I wouldn't be as pissed," I shrugged.

The next couple hours were spent with Duncan and Kelly hanging out with me, making sure I didn't do anything stupid. Mainly watching movies and me eating for two now. Sure I was now just a week shy of eight months pregnant, so it felt good to have people help me out with a few things.

I ended up falling asleep a couple hours later which was about the time that Patrick and Abby came over to watch me. It wasn't a deep sleep since I was in the bedroom, half crying and half up with these Braxton Hicks.

I thougtht I finally fell into a peaceful sleep when I heard shouting come from the living. Well not so much shouting but loud talking. I pulled myself out of the bed with a bit of force since it did take a lot of energy to get out of bed and made my way to the living room where te shouting was coming from.

My feet tiredly carried me out to the open area where I seen Patrick and Abby really letting Jonathan have it about what just happened.

"Well look who decided to show up," I glared at Jonathan as he hung his head.

"We'll let you guys talk," Abby pushed Patrick towards the door as I went to lock it behind them in silence, yet I still could hear Jonathan get up.

"Blaze, I'm-" He started as I turned around, no expression on my face.

"Stop," I put my hand up. "I'm tired, I'm going to bed."

"You've been crying," He reached out to touch my cheek but I pushed his hands away.

"Don't," I looked at him as he backed away slowly and I started to walk towards the bedroom. "You know where the sheets and pillows are."

With that, I walked off to the room and shut the door behind me. I leant against the door frame and slowly let a few tears falll from my eyes half wishing he'd rush back into the room to be with me, but I knew I was still pissed at him. I crawled over to the bed and got in. I pulled the covers around my body, trying to fall into a sleep again but couldn't. Something just felt wrong, it seemed wrong.

I sat that staring at the space on the wall before my breaking heart took over and walked out the door to the living room again. I walked over to Jonathan who's sad eyes looked up at me and was about to speak but I stopped him and just grabbed his hand and took him back to the bedroom with me.

I lead Jonathan back to the bed in which we crawled into the bed and his arms rested slowly on me, careful not to get rejected in the process.

"I love you Blaze," Jonathan whispered before kissing the side of my head.