Cause Jersey Just Got Colder

Frank sat alone in the library. He was waiting for someone, for over twenty minutes. Frank loved the library, he loved books. He always had, since he was little. He moved on from picture books a long time ago, today he wanted to study. He dropped out of college years ago, and now that he shaped up his life he was going back. He wanted to be a musician. He changed his mind though, and decided to be a music teacher. Music education was his major this time around. Kids and music sounded like a profession that would keep Frank happy.

He had his famous Starbucks coffee in his hand, slowly sipping so that there would still be some left when he started to read. After another ten minutes or so, Frank stepped outside to make a phone call. No answer for the first two times. The third time he gave up before the voicemail picked up.

He must have done a quadruple-take. He thought he just saw-

"Frank?" Gerard. Gerard Way. His first love from high school. The man that stole his heart and never gave it back. The guy Frank was supposed to be with forever...

Gerard must have run up to Frank at lightning speed. He embraced the shorter man and pat him on the back, all the while Frank standing still- frozen.

"I gained weight and you lost weight. How did I know it'd end up this way?" Gerard joked, looking at Frank up and down. "You look so good. Amazing. Wow."

Frank shook his head, angry. "What are you doing here?" he sounded less than amused, and this confused Gerard. He thought Frank would be excited to see him again; after all it had been nearly seven years since they last saw each other.

"I finished up law school and I'm back. I...was going to find you anyway, but I'm glad I ran into you now-" Frank stopped him.

"I'm not. You need to go. I'm supposed to be meeting someone here, and they'll be here any second." Gerard furrowed his eyebrows almost so that they touched.

"Who? If I may ask?" Gerard sounded like a lawyer. So nosy- so inquisitive. Frank hated it. He sounded like a pompous asshole. But that didn't bother him. What bothered him was that his heart ached so much, so so much. He missed him terribly and now that he's back he just wanted to...let go and be with him.

"My boyfriend Tyler, and he's the jealous type so if I were you I'd get out of here before he sees you." The tone in Frank's voice was almost threatening.

Gerard stood there with his mouth open. This wasn't his Frank, no, not at all.

They were both so different.

"Oh- okay. I..." Gerard's heart ached now, just the same as Frank's did seconds before. "I'll maybe see you around then."

Frank said nothing; he just nodded and let Gerard go- again. And he was alone- again. That was, until Tyler finally showed up. He parked his bright yellow Chevy Cobalt across the street and ran up to Frank with his history book. He kissed him on the cheek to greet him, and rubbed up his neck.

"Hey sweet cheeks. How art thou?" So cocky. But that's who Tyler Fountis was, a rich and spoiled brat.

"I've been here for a half hour, sweetie, and called you three times. What the hell?"

He was something to look at though; Frank couldn't stay mad at that face. Such a striking face, but...not as striking as Gerard's.

"Chill, Frankie. I was helping my dad move the new Plasma TV into my bedroom. HD TV. Sweet. We can watch even more movies now."

Frank shook his head and they headed into the library. They read and talked, quizzed each other and drank their Starbucks. Tyler's phone rang, and after the first ring he picked it up. He never, ever picked up on the first ring for Frank.

"Hey. Sup? Oh baby, please! Don't be like that? I'm studyin' come on! ...Okay, okay...see you in ten. Bye baby."

Frank knew. Emma always got her way. She controlled Tyler in every single way. She said jump Tyler asked how high. Every. Single. Time.

"You can't be serious, Ty? We just got here...we need to study. I haven't really hung out with you in over a week!"

Tyler just shrugged his shoulders and pouted. "You know she comes first sweet cheeks. You understand. Don't worry, I'll fuck you really good tonight, promise." he blew a kiss to Frank as he took his keys out and was on his way.

Frank pulled up his sleeve and covered his face with it, quietly whimpering into the fabric. He couldn't count how many times that had happened with all his fingers and toes.

"Bunny, are you okay, what happened?" Gerard. Only Gerard called him Bunny.

"A-Are you spying on me?" Frank asked wiping his face roughly with his opposite sleeve.

If Frank wanted to count leaving, then coming through the back entrance of the library, and then hiding behind a bookcase spying....then yes. Gerard had been guilty of that.

"That doesn't matter. Tyler left and you're upset. What happened?" Something about Gerard's voice was so damn comforting, and Frank didn't really ever have anyone to talk to, so he chose to fess up.

"Tyler is bisexual. He has a girlfriend too. Emma. It's a long story but...she comes first."

Gerard could hate Frank for being so naive. So stupid. "Frank, you are so fucking better than that and you know it! You just let him play you like that? You realize that he goes to her, fucks her, only to come back to you and fuck you too."

Frank sniffed and nodded. "You don't understand. I don't expect you to either."

Gerard took a seat next to him. "Yea you're right, I really don't." Gerard sighed and looked at Frank's books. "Why are you studying anyway? Shouldn't you be out?"

Frank looked at the ceiling for a moment. "Yeah, that's a long story too. I uh, I dropped out. But now I'm going back. Gonna be a music teacher."

"Well, that's good...but why did you drop out? Its okay, Frank. You can tell me." Gerard happened to know Frank wasn't the best of students back in high school. He figured maybe Frank dropped out because it got too hard. But that was far from the case.

"Um. Well. I was in rehab. Don't- don't interrupt. Let me finish. Like I said, it's a long story. Mmkay. So. The reason why I lost so much weight is because I was on cocaine. For a while. But that wasn't the main reason why I went to rehab. It was really alcohol- that was the worst. I mean. You were gone and. I didn't have anybody. I tried to get better by myself. I went to college but I got worse. I was sick, Gerard. I was so sick. I was sick of myself." Frank's eyes were watering, and Gerard's were a little bit too. "So I went to rehab...and I met Tyler. We...we helped each other get better. He was with Emma before he went to rehab, and she broke up with him, and said that she'd get back with him once he was better." Gerard nodded, now understanding slightly where Frank was coming from.

"It took a while," Frank said, eyes getting glassier by the second. "I fucked Tyler over a couple times. If I didn't have money for drugs, I'd have sex with someone for it while we were 'dating.' I...Tyler never told me he was rich. I didn't know he could have given me the money. But that didn't matter. We broke up a lot anyway. I was really messed up, Gerard. And I felt like I hit rock bottom. But I eventually got better. So did Tyler. He said he still wanted to be with me even though he knew Emma would come back to him. I minded a lot but I didn't say anything. I didn't want to be alone."

When Frank's lip quivered, Gerard hushed him and took him into his arms. All of this shit- all because of him. Gerard left the poor boy and look what happened. Gerard never felt guiltier in his life.

“I’m so sorry, Frank. Holy shit, if I knew this would happen I swear I’d never leave. I…I know that what I did to you was fucked up but…I thought you’d be happy to see me again. I thought by now...you'd I don't know...miss me?"

Frank laughed a bit too bitterly. "You changed your number, lied to me and made your parents lie to me, Gerard! Did you really expect me to be waiting patiently for you to come back?"

Gerard shook his head no. “No, Frank. No I didn’t. But I had to do that. Listen, this isn’t the right place to talk about this. Come to my house and we’ll finish, okay? Please?”

Frank nodded and followed Gerard in his own car. But this was not the house Frank knew. This was an apartment. The inside was beautiful…and…so Gerard. His artwork was on his walls and everything.

“Frank…I’m here for good. I came back to you, for you. I…I had to change my number…and lie, and make my mom and dad lie. I had to, or else I could never focus. I would stay on the phone with you for hours and never get any work done. I knew you’d find others…but I never thought you’d…have to go through all of that because of me. I would never hurt you on purpose, Bunny, and you know that. You should have just trusted me…”

“Yeah I did trust you, until years went by, Gerard. I was fucking broken. I didn’t care who I was with, Gerard. I just didn’t care. Anyone who wanted me could have had me at certain points. I just…I didn’t know what to do. That’s why I started drinking. That’s why I got into other shit. I just…snapped. I tried to get over you but I. I never quite did.”

Gerard half smiled and took Frank’s chin in his hand. "For the six and a half years I was away I've only been with one guy. His name was David. He...he reminded me so much of you.

Frank let an unwanted tear slip down his cheek. “Only one? For how long?”

“A couple of years. God, Frank, the resemblance. David had this way about him that was almost identical to yours. He played bass and guitar. He had piercings and tattoos. He had quirky little mannerisms like you. He was playful…he was just this ball of energy. But he’d never let me sing with him while he played- like you, you let me. He’d never let me touch his face, he hated it- you loved it. He didn’t understand my art, and you- you always did. He…he just wasn’t you. So I ended it and was alone. And when I finished law school I knew I had to come back to you. Because I love you.”

Frank looked at Gerard with a deer in headlights sort of look.

“You once told me that your whole life was in New York. What happened to that?”

Gerard smiled. “Frank, you are my whole life. And you’re here in Jersey. So, I’m here to stay. With you. If you’ll take me?”

Frank burst into happy tears. “Of course I will…I love you. I always have and I always will and I don’t care how over-used that expression is because I mean it. I know I shouldn’t trust you again so easily- because you have the power to destroy me…but I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. I hope you know that.”

The older man nodded against the soft skin on Frank’s cheek. “Shut up and let me make love to you.”

Frank’s heart skipped a beat and his stomach twisted in knots. He’d finally get the feeling of love while he had sex again. He’d finally be in Gerard’s arms- for good this time.

Gerard kissed him everywhere, just to familiarize himself with his lovers’ body. It was skinner than it once was- but it was all still beautiful. He had new tattoos that he’d have to memorize- and that’s the way he loved it.

As they cuddled up in bed, Frank felt complete. But there was a side of him that felt…bad for Tyler. If it weren’t for him then…Frank may have still been in rehab. But Tyler didn’t deserve him…and he’d probably end up marrying Emma anyway. Frank just closed his eyes and cuddled himself closer to Gerard. He’d end things with Tyler in a classy manner, and everything would fall into place.

“Gerard, I love you. I could stay with you forever. I never want to leave.”

Gerard giggled and kissed Frank’s messy hair. “You don’t have to,” he whispered softly. “You’re not going anywhere.”