Ways to Love Your Brother

Mom and dad left me at the hospital, sitting next to Gerard. And no, I never left his side. I was afraid that if I left, he would leave too. I was paranoid every time I went to the bathroom.

The nurses and doctors came and went through out the rest of the day, and through out the night. They were all concerned that I wasn't sleeping, and I told them all, that I was fine. At the time, I didn't care about my health, all I cared about was Gerard's.

The nurses offered me food, and I said no to most of the offers, but if they did give me food, I didn't eat much.

Some of the nurses were nice, like the blond who announced my father; her name was Carrie. She was pretty cool, and she at least tried to comfort me.

The others were okay, but there was one I totally hated. Her name was Gretchen. She had brown hair, and she was young, like Carrie. It was completely obvious she hated working here, and it was obvious that she didn't care about the people here even more.

I didn't mind them, they came and went doing their jobs. One more effectively than the other, but doing their jobs non the less.

The doctor came in every few hours or so, asked how I was doing, and checked Gerard's readouts. He offered the bed next to him, Gerard, to me for when I was ready to sleep. And like all of tho their offers, I didn't use them to their full advantage.

I didn't want to leave Gerard's side, and lying in a bed on the other side of the room, seemed like a mile away. And besides... I was afraid to sleep, for I know I would wake up, but Gerard might never open his beautiful, golden-brown eyes ever again.

Tears would leak every now and then, some leading to heavy sobbing, and others just fell silently, and unnoticed. I had been crying all day, ever since I found Gerard on our bedroom floor. Ever since I read his letter.

Once I re-gained control of my emotions, I leaned back in my chair, and gave a great sigh.

"How are we," asked Carrie, giving me a warm smile.

"I'm fine," I answered, "What are you still doing here?"

"A few of the nurses are sick, so I volunteered to take on extra hours."

"Oh."

"Aren't you tired," she asked, suddenly more concerned about me than Gerard.

"No, I'm fine, thank you," I gave her a smile, but it faded when I looked at Gerard.

"You must be really close."

"We are," I answered, "When we were younger, we used to dress a like. We would play superhero games.... We did everything to together. He's my best friend in the entire world."

"I wish I ha siblings like that," Carrie said smiling affectionately at my brother.

"Are you an only child?"

"No. I'm the youngest out of twelve kids."

"Wow."

"But.... They were all my step-father's kids."

"What happened to your real father?"

"He.... He died of cancer when I was ten."

"I'm sorry." she gave me a small smile.

"My mom re-married, and suddenly, I was thrown into the midst of eleven kids, all older than me."

"I guess you can say that I know who you feel."

"Really?"

"Well, Gee is my only sibling, but most of my cousins are older than me, and my brother has friends who are older than me, but yeah basically it;s the same feeling."

"I guess so," she agree smiling, "How old are you?"

"I'm fifteen," I answered, "Gerard is eighteen."

"That's cool," Carrie said, smiling.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty two," she answered.

"Awesome," I gave a great yawn, which caused my eye lids to droop.

"You should get some sleep," she said helping me out of my chair, and across the room.

"No-no! I'm-" yawn, "Fine."

"A growing fifteen year old should get as much sleep as he can."

"But.... What about Gerard?"

"He will be fine.... He's in a hospital, what could go wrong?"

"He could die," I answered flatly, Carrie didn't answer, she just gently pushed me down on the other bed, and pulled the sheets away.

"Take your shoes and socks off," she instructed. I did so, and she made my lie down. Covering me up, she went to the window, and drew the blinds closed.

I tried to stay a wake. I focused on the beeping of Gerard's monitor, but soon sleep took over me, and soon, my eyes were close,d and a distant beeping sound became a very long note.

*_*Next morning*_*
Waking up, I saw Gerard's empty bed, and sat up.

"Mikey," mom said, her voice ringing from across the room.

"Where's Gerard," I asked. Mom had obviously been crying, and my question obviously provoked more tears.

"Oh Mikey....," she said, pulling me into a hug, "Oh Mikey.... I'm so sorry."

"What happened," I asked holding on to her like a scared toddler.

"Gerard's gone," mom whispered. I didn't say anything.... I couldn't say anything.

"When?"

"Three o' clock this morning," she answered. My heart stopped. That was when I fell asleep. Tears seeped out of my eyes, as I stared at my brother's empty hospital bed.

"I'm so sorry Mikey," she said. That was it.... I burst. My sob cut through the room, as I let everything out. My shoulders shook, and I held onto my mom, not wanting to feel alone.

We stayed there, me being comforted by mom, and me staring at my brother's empty bed, still not believing that he as gone.... Still not excepting that this was happening. I didn't want to believe that I killed my brother.

I didn't go to school the next say as planned, but this time, it was to mourn my brother's death.

The following week passed by quickly, and soon we were at his funeral. Frank, Ray, and Matt were there, tears streaking their faces, but non of them were crying. Not crying like me. None of them felt the same as me.

After the funeral, Frank came over, and gave me a hug.

"I'm sorry Mikey," he said.

"I am too," I answered.

"I don't think this could- Mikey wake up!"

"What?"

"I said I don't think that- Mikey wake up," Frank grabbed a hold of my shoulders, and started shaking me, then I closed my eyes.... Or perhaps.... I opened them....

*_*At the hospital*_*
"Mikey," mom said, "I'm so glad your awake," looking around, I saw I was in Gerard's hospital room. It was very dark, and I could see that there were other people in the room along with us.

"What happened," I asked, "What time is it?"

"It's eleven thirty in at night. It's Saturday, please calm down. Mikey.... Gerard's awake!"