Ways to Love Your Brother

We had received our new uniforms over the weekend I was with Gerard at the hospital, so I was glad mom got it.

Looking in the mirror, I cringed at our "creative" uniforms. A gray long sleeved, turtleneck with a navy blue coat, navy slack, and fancy shoes, thanks to mom.

Our school crest was printed on the left breast of both the shirt and coat. One of the worst things is, we have like.... Seven different shirts and slacks, that we have to wear on certain days so everyone looks the same.

I continued to look at myself in the mirror, and smile formed on my face at the thought of what Gerard would do when he got home to find our uniforms.

But hen, the smile started to fade at the thought of just Gerard himself.

Gerard gas been sent away to our local mental ward, and is to stay there, alone, without visitors, for one week.

I still couldn't help but feel terrible that I did this to my Gerard. That I was the cause of his suicide attempt. Even though we're back together there's always the chance of him always second guessing my promises and trust. There's always going to be a thought in the back of his mind, reminding him that I had cheated.

"Mikey," mom called, "Come on down, I'll give you a ride to school," I gave a sigh, and grabbed my book bag, and made my way downstairs to where my mom was standing on the last step.

"Cheer up, Mikey," mom said, pulling me into a hug, "Gerard will be back in no time."

"I know," I admitted, "It just.... Feels so weird being in that room without him... I mean... we're so close."

"I know you are, honey, I know you are," mom lead me into the hallway, and out into the garage.

The entire ride to school was spent in silence, and with me pulling at my terrible uncomfortable turtleneck. God! I swear the teachers only want to make us suffer!

Mom pulled into the school's parking lot, and stopped, "Have a nice day, Mikey," she leaned over, and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.

"I will mom," I said glumly, opening the door, I got out, and watched mom drive off.

"Hey Mikey," Frank greeted, solemnly, "What's up?"

"Nothing much," I replied. I could feel my face scrunch in disapproval, as I stared at my exact outfit on my friend, in front of me.

"That's how I feel too," Frank said, reading my obvious face.

"Why do they do this to us," I asked, not really expecting an answer.

"How's Gerard," he asked.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "I'm not allowed to visit him."

"He's there isn't he."

"Duh!"

"Sorry," Frank cringed away as if I looked like I was about to hit him.

"He'll be back to school next wee," I said, trying not to sound too pained.

"Do you know why he did it?"

"He saw us kiss," was all I said. Frank gave a nod to show that he understood.

"Do your parents know?"

"No."

"How do they not know?"

"I lied." I ended the conversation by walking over to the tree where we had met on the day my brother,sexually, helped me disentangle my shirt from my body.

Sitting down in the roots of the tree, Frank sat next to me, and took my hand in his.

"What is this," Ray exclaimed from behind us, "Are you two holding hands?"

"Announce it to the world," Matt said, jokingly.

Frank released my hand, "Mikey's just going through a rough time.... You know...."

"And that has to do with your hands... how," Ray asked, standing in front of us, arms crossed over his chest, a smirk on his face.

"He was just being a good friend," I answered, "You're not helping much though."

"Sorry," Ray said, ashamed.

We remained silent for the rest of the time we had before school. The bell ran, and we all made our way to our class. We were all zombies.... And that's how we were for the rest of the week.

*_*Sunday Afternoon (End of the Week)*_*
I sat on our living room couch, doing nothing. The t.v. was on, but I wasn't watching it. My parents were talking to each other, but I wasn't listening to them.

This is how I have been all week. Silent, emotionless, inanimate. I would move silently through the house, like a ghost, feeling miserable without my older brother, my lover.

Growing tired of sitting on the couch, surrounded by all of the noise, I slowly got up, and made my way up the flight of stairs, and into my room.

Not bothering to take my glasses off, or my shoes for that matter, I crawled into bed, and burrowed under my covers.

I didn't try to fall asleep, I just laid there, staring into space. Not caring at all what was happening around me.

"Mikey," mom called, "Mikey, your father and I are going on a few errands, we'll be back in an hour or two," I didn't answer, but she know I had heard her.

The mumbled voiced of a worried mother, and a comforting father drifted through the floor, and soon, I herd the garage door open, and eventually their car pull out of the driveway.

Now, what I did those two and a half house was nothing. I did move from my bed to the couch, but when I heard the garage door open, I was in my room again.

Mom and dad could be heard talking down stairs, and soon, footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs.... Mom no doubt.

The bedroom door opened, and closed. I could feel a pair of eyes staring at me, but seeing as I'm in the state I'm in, I didn't care.

Then, something different happened. A pressure came to the bed, as if someone was crawling on it. A hand placed itself on my shoulder, and with great force, the hand flipped me onto my back, and someones lips came crashing down on mine.

Instantly, I knew who 'someone' was. Tangling my fingers in his hair, I pulled my brother in for a deeper kiss.

Pulling away, slightly, I whispered, "I missed so much," I pulled him back in, and forced my tongue into his mouth.

His hands moved up my shirt, and was about to pull it off, when a knock came on our door.

"Gerard," mom called, "Are you hungry?"

"Kind of," he replied.

"Is Mikey sleeping?"

"No."

"Is he hungry?"

"Yes," I called.

"Pizza," mom asked from behind the door.

"Sure," we both answered.

"The usual?"

"Yes," we both answered again.

"I'll call you two down when it gets here."

"Alright."

The sound of mom's footsteps could be heard making their way downstairs again.

"Now...," Gerard asked, "Where were we," he gave me a smile, and reattached our lips.

Once again, his hands slipped up my shirt, ultimately, taking it off. I did the same to him, and ran my hands eagerly over, and over his skin.

"I missed that," Gerard breathed into my mouth, "I live it when you touch me like that."

"What about this," reaching down, I placed my hand between his thighs, and slowly slid my hand back up, but forcefully back down, rubbing him through his denim jeans.

"Uh, yes," whispered Gerard. Looking at him, I smiled as he bit down on his lip.

Flipping us over, I placed my lips at the base of his neck, kissing my way down. Dipping my tongue into his bellybutton, I expertly undid his pants, and kissed the rest of the way down, enveloping him with my mouth.

Instantly, his hands tangled themselves in my hair, and his back arched. One hand left my hair to grab a pillow to smother the sounds of his moans.

With every flick of my tongue, Gerard's moans grew louder.

"I'm close," I heard him mumble into my pillow. I'm sure he could feel me smile against his skin, and with one flick of my tongue, he released.

Swallowing everything he had to give, I made my way back to Gerard's mouth.

"I really missed that," Gerard said, "You've gotten good at that too."

"Don't know how," I answered, honestly, "I haven't done anything all week."

"Mom told me you were like a zombie," Gerard replied.

"I was.... Until you came home," I added. I placed a kiss on his plump, sweet lips.

"Gerard! Mikey," mom called.

"Yeah," Gerard answered.

"I'm going to get the pizza. Your father went to watch a game. He'll be home around ten."

"What are you doing," I asked.

"I'll drop the pizza off, then I'm going to Linda's."

"Okay."

"Frank's grounded, so I'll tell him you both said 'hi'."

"Thank you," we yelled. Mom's footsteps could be heard making their way to the garage door.

"We've go the house to ourselves," Gerard whispered, hugging me close.

"Lets fuck," I said.

"Haven't done that in a long time," Gerard agreed. Rolling onto me, he started at my belt buckle.