Ways to Love Your Brother

"Hey Mikey." Gerard said, a smile on his face, "What's up?"

"Um.... Hi." I answered, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you of course." a laugh rolled easily off of his tongue. "Can I come in?"

"Oh, sure." slinging the towel I still held over my shoulder, I opened the door wider for him, "Here, let me take that." Taking the case of beer from him I lead him further into our apartment.

"Nice place you've got here, Mikey." Gee complimented, looking around.

"Thanks."

"Hey. I really don't want to seem rude, but where's the bathroom?"

"Go through the bed room and it's on your right."

"Thanks, man." setting the package he held down on the kitchen table, he followed my directions.

While I waited, I continued to wash the dishes, turning down the radio so it wasn't as loud.

I heard him flush and wash his hands, but I didn't here him leave. Instead, Gerard's hands wrapped around my waist, and pulled me closer so his lips could land on my neck.

I jumped and pulled away. He didn't let go of me, even though I turned around.

"I've missed you so much, Mikey." he said, taking my lips with his in one of his many great kisses that I've missed so much in the past three four years.

But I pulled away.

"I can't do this." I said. Looking at the clock, I broke free of Gerard's hold.

Going over to our refrigerator, I pulled out everything I needed and took the directions that Travis left out from under a magnet.

"What do you mean you can't do this?" Gerard grabbed my shoulders making look at him, "We did it before."

"Yes, but my boyfriend is going to be home in a half an hour."

I turned away from him quickly, not wanting to see his face as he comprehended what I just said.

I started doing everything that was written out on the piece of paper I had in front of me. Finally, when it got to putting the meal into our oven, I set our timer and at last, turned to Gerard.

"What's his name?" he asked.

He was seated at the table, his elbows on the top, his thumbs at this lips with this fingers curled tightly. Under the table, I could see that his denim covered legs were crossed.

"Travis."

"Does Travis have a last name as well?"

"Travis Lynam."

"You mean that jock from high school? Mikey, you're dating him You've got to be kidding me right?"

I didn't answer.

"You are joking right?"

Again, I didn't answer.

"Holy fuck, Mikey!"

"What? Am I not allowed to date him?"

"No, it's just I can't believe you would date someone like him. Might I remind you, it was because people like that who made you snap your rubber bands till you bled."

"That wasn't Travis. It was Derrick and Jason. And besides, that's all in the past."

"Philosopher now, too? Come now, Mikey, you can't do it all."

"What?"

"Since when have you ever said, 'that's all in the past'?" Gerard was now standing, and I was by the kitchen sing, "You've changed so much."

"You could have seen me change too." I said, my eyes suddenly stinging with tears, "Why didn't you write? Why didn't you call?"

"Why are you dating Travis?" he said his name like a disease.

"Because, I thought you hated me. Didn't love me, didn't want anything to do with me. Trav was there through that first year, when it really stung the most. He loves me Gerard. He tells me so all of the time."

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I do." I answered, "But you haven't answered me."

"I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"Mom and dad." tears shown in his eyes as well, "I was scared that they would only get madder if I wrote, it I called."

"You never thought of staying at Ray's over the summer? At Matt's, Frank's?"

"No. I never thought of that."

"I've missed you so much." I said, going over to him, pulling him into a hug, "So fucking much."

"I've missed you too, Mikers." Gerard said, hugging me with equal force.

That's when the oven dinged, and the apartment door opened.

"Mm, smells great, Mikey." called, Travis at the door.

Letting go of Gerard, I took our meal out of our oven, and set it on the stove to cool off. Travis entered the kitchen and stopped.

"Who's this?" he asked, looking at Gerard.

"This is my older brother." I answered, "The one in the art school."

"Oh! This is Gerard?" Travis smiled, "I'm sorry man. It's been too long. How are you?"

"I've been good. And you?"

"Amazing."

Travis gave his toothy grin. The one that a movie actor would kill for, and the one that made me swoon.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" I asked, reaching out to Travis, pulling him close.

"Almost." he answered, kissing me," Thanks for reminding me."

"Anytime." I answered.

Letting Travis go, I went back to preparing our lunch, only to be booted out of the way by Trav. Sighing, I took a seat at the table, quietly followed by Gerard.

"So, Gerard." Trav said, his back to us as he finished what I started, "How did you find us?"

"Well, Mikey came to get coffee in the cafe I worked at. I'm not sure if he saw me, but I noticed him talking to someone. I later talked with them, told them who I was, and he gave me your address."

"You didn't tell us you saw Gerard."

"I told you." I reminded him.

"Oh, right. Never mind, I remember now."

He finally turned around, holding out three plates. Gerard and I cleared the table, setting the small case of beer and the package he brought on the floor.

Travis set the plates on the table, along with silverware. Gerard grabbed three beers and passed them around the table.

"So, what are you studying?" Travis asked, as we ate.

"Graphic Design." Gerard answered, "I'd really like to make cartoons or graphic novels, but I'm not completely sure yet."

Even after these long years, I was still very proud of my brother. He was doing something with his life; unlike me who has no idea what I want to do.

"What are you studying, Travis?"

"I would like to be a doctor." he answered, "I would like to become either a pharmacist, or a surgeon."

I was proud of Travis as well. I felt good to know I was with someone with goals like that and was dedicated to them.

"How about you, Mikey?" asked Gerard, "What are you studying?"

"Right now, nothing really, but I'm thinking about doing something with music. Trav said I should, but I'm still only thinking about it."

"You should." Travis said, "You're always talking about it, or listening to it."

"Yeah." I agreed.

"You should join the band or something. You can play your bass."

"You have a bass?" Gerard asked.

"Yup."

"That's great!"

"Thanks."

"You should see him," Trav said, pausing to drink from his beer, "Once he had that thing, he won't put it down. Playing songs from Anthrax to Smashing Pumpkins, plus some patters he made up himself. He truly is incredible."

His last statement made me blush.

"I would love to hear you sometime." Gerard said, smiling, "Maybe if you ever come over to my apartment, you could bring your bass."

"That sounds plausible." I said. Gerard smiled, and we continued to eat.

When we were finished eating, I took the dishes, and Trav was getting ready to leave.

"Nice meeting you," he said, shaking Gerard's hand.

"Same here."

Trav kissed me goodbye, and left to go back to work.

"What's in that package? I've been meaning to ask you."

Gerard bent over, allowing me to gaze gratefully at his well shaped ass. He has lost a great deal of weight since his senior year, and he was looking hot good.

"I know this is greatly overdue, but housewarming gifts." he explained, handing me the box.

Taking it from him, I set it on the table and opened it.

Movies. It was a box filled with movies. Going through them, I smiled as I read the titles.

Friday the 13th
Nightmare on Elm Street
Halloween
Dawn of the Dead
Jaws
Hellraiser

Movies we both grew up on.

As I removed the last movie, I found an envelope at the bottom with my name on it. I opened it and pulled out a letter with a check to me paper-clipped to it.

Opening the letter, I smiled.

I O U

Looking at the check, I saw that it was made out for the same amount of money I gave Gerard four years ago when he was leaving me.

Turning to Gerard, I smiled and hugged him.

"Thank you, Gerard." I said.

"No problem." he released me and added, "It was the least I could do."

Gerard stayed a few hours more when finally time was late, and he had to go.

"Thanks for coming over." I said.

"Thanks for having me." he quickly scribbled something down on a piece of paper which he handed to me.

Placing a kiss on my cheek, he turned and walked down the flight of stairs down to the parking lot.