Ways to Love Your Brother

When Sunday rolled around, so did reality. I was crushed with the knowledge that I had cheated on Travis willingly, and not once thought of him all weekend.

What a monster I was.

I know I've cheated in the past, once of Gerard then on Frank, but I've been with Travis longer than any of those relationships.

It hurt a lot more.

My bag was packed and I was ready to go. Gerard walked me to my car, helping me load my bass and amp into my back seat.

"I had fun," I said, as I opened the driver's side door and tossed my nap sack onto the passenger seat.

"I'm glad you did," Gerard answered, "Thanks for coming over."

"Thank you for having me over," I replied.

Gee gave a smile, then leaned in and placed a kiss on my lips, his soft and smooth, warm and inviting. I just couldn't help but fall helpless to his kisses.

Pulling away, I told Gerard that I would call him, and I got into the car, pulled out of the parking lot, honked twice, then headed down the road and back to Travis.

When I got home, Travis was eagerly awaiting my return. Helping me get my things into the apartment, where Derrick and Jason were sitting. We moved everything into the bedroom, where I rewarded Travis for his efforts.

"Ah," cried Derrick, "I can't see! Ugh!"

We hadn't noticed that Derrick or Jason had come to the door, so when we pulled apart, we watched as Derrick covered his eyes and fell onto Jason.

Turning, Derrick grabbed fistfuls of Jason's shit, pulling him closer.

"Don't go in there, soldier," he whispered in a mock pain looking at Jason, "Tis a horrible, scarring sight. You'll go blind!"

Derrick gave a few more 'cries of pain', then became totally serious and added, "But no, really.... Close the door."

Trav and I smiled, and with our foot, kicked the door shut.

*_*Two months Later*_*
"Harder," I cried, "Harder!"

Gerard quickened the pace of his hips, obeying my plea.

Sweat dripped off of us onto his bed sheets, dampening them as we reached out, rolled over, or whatever. Our shining skin glistened in the lamp light, as we moved together, pressing each other close, digging our nails into each other's skin.

Our hips worked together, the friction from it warming our skin and also giving it a red tint as we moved. My back was pressed against the bed sheets, my legs wrapped around Gee's waist, the bottom of my feet pressing against his ass. He was on his knees, hands on my hips, thrusting upward as I pushed down onto him.

"Mikey," Gee gasped, "Oh, my Mikey, oh shit."

He threw his head back, my name and more curses streaming out of his mouth. I was right behind him, calling out.

We were both getting close, so close, and finally, with a violent shudder, Gerard came, pouring inside of me, and I came after over our stomachs and onto the damp sheets.

Rolling off of me, we pulled the sheets over us, and slid into each other's arms, our naked bodies pressed against each other, our lips finding each other.

Pulling away, we lay on the bed, out sweaty chests heaving, exhausted, our hair sticking to our foreheads, bodies aching.

"I love you, Mikey," Gerard said, placing a kiss on my temple.

"I love you too, Gerard."

"Mikers?"

"Yeah, Gees?"

"I've thought a lot about this, and I want you to tell me what you think."

"Okay."

"I want you to move in with me."

Pulling away from his embrace, I stared him in the eye.

"I can't do that," I said.

"Why not?"

"Because I love Travis."

"You love Travis?"

"Yes."

"If you love him, then why are you here with me, in bed?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't. I know he was waiting for a reply, but frankly, I don't have one.

He was becoming impatient.

"Mikey. If you love him, why have you been sleeping with me, behind his back, cheating on him, for the past two months? Do you really call that love?"

I thought about it for a moment, then replied in a whisper, "No."

Shifting on his side, his face loomed over mine, his warm hand resting on my stomach.

"Then, do you love me," he asked, his eyes filled with unsureness.

"Yes."

"Do you really love me?"

"Yes," my voice became pleading.

"Then move in with me. Please, we'll be together, no more lying, no more sneaking around. All you have to do is say yes, and this could be ours."

"But Travis-"

"Forget Travis! I know it sounds cruel, but.... We're together now. No parents, no one to tell us no. Think about it. We could lay here, just like this, every night, clothes or no clothes."

His last comment made me smile.

"I'll think about it?"

"Sure."

Gerard settled back down next to me, and I snuggled into him, pressing our still-too-warm bodies together.

Resting my head on his chest, I fell asleep.

Waking up, I found Gerard to already be awake and gently rubbing my arm, his steady breathing causing my head to rise and fall. I sighed at the peacefulness of the moment, and hugging him close to me, also letting know that I was awake.

"Good morning, sweet heart," Gerard said softly, his voice vibrating in his chest.

"Mm," I replied.

Gee let out a laugh and continued to gently rub my arm.

We stayed there for a while, just us laying there, silence surrounded us. My eyes started to droop with sleep again, but it passed when Gerard started to squirm underneath me.

I moved my head and Gee sat up. He yawned, gave a moan while stretching, turning me on a little bit, and leaned down to place a kiss on my forehead, nose, and lips.

"I'm going to go make breakfast, okay," he asked, standing up.

He wasn't wearing anything, just like we were while we were sleeping.

He moved to grabbed pair of pants, but I stopped him.

"No," I said, a sly smile on my face.

Gerard seemed confused.

"I'll let you go, but you are not getting dressed. You're too hot for that."

Gerard blushed, then asked, "Can I at least put on some pants?"

"You put pants on, and you can come right back to bed."

Giving a great sigh, he gave in and walked out of the room with no clothes on.

"Call me when you start," I called after him.

"Yeah, yeah," he replied.

Making sure that he wasn't coming back, I got up from the bed and got dressed, changing into a pair of his boxers and a tee shirt that I had thrown off last night.

Being fully dressed, I made my way to the kitchen to find my beautiful, naked, older brother cracking eggs into a skillet, making his famous umlauts with cheese and weird spices.

Taking a seat on the counter space that he wasn't using, I watched him put together our breakfast with much enthusiasm, making sure that everything was perfect.

It wasn't until he was finished, that he turned around and found me on his counter top.

"What the hell," he exclaimed.

"Sorry, did I scare you," I replied.

"No. You're dressed!"

I gave a suggestive smile and said, "I'll let you take them off in the most dirtiest way you think would serve as a good punishment."

A smile appeared on Gee's face as he came over to me, pulling me off of the counter and taking my lips with his, sucking in my lower lip and softly nibbling on it.

"No," he said suddenly.

"What," my voice was airy.

"Why don't you go home, and have Travis do it."

"What?"

"I'm not going to let you cheat on him anymore."

"That's not what you thought last night."

"That was after we had sex-"

"Yeah, after."

"Mikey, please. If you do love him as much as you say you do, then you wouldn't be here. But you're here, with me. And I really want to be able to call you my Mikey, but your Trav's. Just go home and do what you think is right."

I didn't answer him. I couldn't.

Nodding, I went back to the bedroom, got dressed, packed my bag and left.

I didn't hug Gerard.
I didn't kiss him.
I didn't say goodbye.
I didn't have to.