If I Lay Here

Sophie maneuvered her silver Pontiac into the parking lot of the coffee house and quickly cut the ignition, stepping out into the cool fall air. She took only a moment to breathe in the pumpkin scent that was wafting through the air from the café’s open window before speedily making her way towards the back. She passed the large brick wall and reached for the knob, giving it a good yank before the scents of all the coffee beans finally hit her. Sophie wasn’t a coffee addict and, working in a café, she often got sick of it. But there was something about the smell that drove her in; she smiled.

She carried herself in and shut the door tightly behind her before plopping her purse down on the rack. She grabbed her apron and quickly slid it on, tying her hair up into a ponytail so she could place the cap on. One of the workers glanced back at her and she smiled sheepishly, putting her finger up to her lips. No one ever told on Sophie for being late, partially because she had taken shifts for almost all the workers when something came up. She was reliable and quick, friendly with almost anyone that came along. She believed in Karma and she wanted to do everything she could to sustain a happy life. If only it were that simple for Nick, she thought.

Jenna’s wide smile appeared in front of Sophie’s face in an instant, blocking her vision and nearly making her heart jump out of her chest. She clutched the counter tightly and gave Jenna her irritated, scrunched up nose look, to which Jenna grinned even wider. If there was one thing that Sophie knew about Jenna, it was that, no matter what the circumstance was, she would always smile. Sophie found it somewhat creepy, but she was glad for her happiness… even if nothing really caused it.

“Sooo,” she drug out, rocking on her heels. Sophie eyed her suspiciously before turning her back to face the sink to begin washing her hands.

“So… what?” she asked curiously, glancing to her side where Jenna now stood. She noticed the earlier worker taking off his apron now that she was here, and Sophie gave him another apologetic smile. He didn’t seem to mind. He hadn’t been there too long, anyway.

“Mr. Joseph sent you something.” Sophie pulled her eyebrows together in confusion, though a smile graced her lips, and she quickly spun around.

“He did?”

“Uh-huh!” Jenna giggled, prancing towards the door. “It’s in here.”

Sophie followed her friend eagerly, her smile only widening once she saw the small bouquet of lavender chrysanthemums. She was almost breathless, that’s how much she loved them. They were beautiful.

“Wow,” she squeaked out, immediately reaching her small hands out for them. Jenna stood with her arms crossed beside Sophie, smiling just as wide.

“Lucky girl,” she giggled. “I wish I had a man that did that kind of stuff.”

Sophie only half acknowledged her friend’s words as she pressed her nose to the flowers. She heard Jenna, though, and blurted out the news she was currently holding.

“Joe and I talked to Nick; the four of us are going out tomorrow night,” she breathed. But as soon as the words left her mouth her eyes snapped open, and her friend squealed. She glanced over at her smiling features.

“You’re amazing, Soph. Seriously!” she gushed. Sophie barely had time to put the flowers down before Jenna engulfed her in a hug, practically lifting her small body off the ground.

Jenna was a rather tall girl; Sophie had noted that she must’ve stood around 5’7”. She was a natural blond, too, but her eyes were brown and her skin was tan. Sophie had often found herself wishing she had some of Jenna’s traits, but her father had always told her that someone would come around and like her for who she was. She hoped that someone was Joe.

“Where are we going? What should I wear? How cute is this Nick?” The questions just flew out of Jenna’s mouth and Sophie wondered if the girl ever needed to breathe.

“Well,” she started with a large breath, “I don’t know what we’re doing yet.” She turned away from her friend and the flowers, making her way back out to her station. There were no customers waiting to have their order taken, so she focused on the few sitting around and chatting instead. “What should you wear?”

Sophie wasn’t quite sure what to tell Jenna - she didn’t even know what she’d be wearing. She wondered if Joe would take them somewhere fancy, or maybe somewhere casual. She tried to step into Joseph’s mind for a moment, but she gave up quickly and sighed instead. Her mind skipped into a different direction then, and she found herself wondering if Nick would actually show up. Would he ride with her and Joe to meet Jenna at the restaurant? Or would he be on his own? Would he dress up for something fancy if that’s what Joe had chosen? She scrunched her face up in something that resembled confusion, shaking off the many thoughts.

Nick would be there one way or another, she told herself. That’s all she needed to worry about.

“Well, we’re probably going somewhere nice… so a dress, I guess,” she mumbled out, directing her eyes over to the blond for good measure. Jenna was grinning.

“What about Nick?” she prompted.

“What about him?” Sophie tried, glancing over her shoulder. She turned back around when Jenna came closer, leaning her thin frame against the glass case filled with pastries.

“How cute is he?” Jenna asked again, and Sophie noted that her voice was a little too eager. She bit her lip.

“Umm…” She didn’t find answering the question to be too appropriate, considering Nick’s brother was her boyfriend, but she heaved a sigh and decided to mull it over for a minute. For Jenna, she concluded; it was a reassurance for her own mind, one she wasn’t aware that she needed. “Like…” she tried again, another breath falling from her lip-balm covered lips.

“Explain what he looks like!” Jenna practically squealed. Sophie turned to her friend with a laugh and nodded, only a few of her waves falling out of the hair-tie that was held at the base of her neck.

“He’s not too tall, you know,” she started slowly, shifting her wait, “He’s around Joe’s height, actually… maybe an inch shorter? Or maybe they’re the same.” She didn’t quite know for sure. “Umm…” She placed a hand over her mouth as she thought, her small fingers stretching out over her skin while she tried to draw up the image of Nick from the depths of her mind. She was surprised at how easily his face popped into view, his features striking out to her as if he were there. “He’s pretty thin, muscular too, I think…” She didn’t really know, however; she hadn’t seen much of his arms from behind his shirts.

“What about his face?” Jenna prompted. She sensed that Sophie was easily getting lost in her thoughts, and she was becoming impatient.

“I don’t know,” Sophie shrugged. “I’ve only seen him those two times, but I think he’s handsome.” A gush of heat ran its course to settle into her cheeks, but Jenna only smiled wider, urging her on. “The first thing I noticed, I guess, was his hair. He has curls, not like an afro or anything, but I’ve never seen anything like it…” she trailed off with a soft laugh, and for a moment she felt as if she were in high school again, giggling about her crush during freshman year.

This was different though, she reasoned. Nick was not her boyfriend, not even her crush - she knew barely anything about him personally. But she hoped that, in time, maybe he would end up with Jenna.

She wasn’t quite sure of that thought, though.

“He has brown eyes, too,” she noted, but her attention was drawn away when the door dinged open and a young girl stepped in with purpose.

“Like Joe’s?” Jenna asked. She was no longer standing by Sophie, but had moved towards the back instead. Jenna had only seen Joe once when he stopped in to visit Sophie before they had become “official”, but she had gotten a good look and was excited at the thought of him having a brother.

“No, not really,” was Sophie’s reluctant response.

She had seen Nick’s eyes, but she hadn’t compared them to Joe’s until this moment. She noted the way that Joe’s seemed lighter, not only in color but also in tone. Nick’s, however, seemed to have a darker tone, like two oval openings filled with a velvety chocolate brown iris. She found herself wondering if they sparkled like Joe’s as she took the girl’s order of a caramel drink, and then she noted to herself the way his eyes did seemed to hold some sort of intense light, but she wasn’t too sure when she compared it to Joseph’s child-like gleam.

“I mean, I guess it’s similar,” she finally answered. She gave a shrug along with her words and hoped that Jenna took it rather than have her say more.

Sophie didn’t know.

“How does he dress?” was Jenna’s next question as she handed the cup to Sophie. She proceeded to hand it to the girl and smile, thanking her for coming, and then turning back around to face her friend. She laughed.

“Jen, he wears clothes. I don’t know how he dresses.”

Smartly was a thought that came to mind despite her words. Casual, comfortable, clean. Were these good descriptive words? She held her tongue.

“Does he dress like Joe?”

“I don’t know?” She let out another laugh and let her shoulders loosen while gripping to the counter behind her. “They’re brothers, not twins. They have their own personalities.” Now that was one thing she was definitely sure of.

“Do you think he likes boxers or briefs?” Jenna blurted out, and she grinned in a playfully wicked way that made Sophie roll her eyes.

“I don’t know.” Of course she didn’t, but the thought did make her curious; she supposed that she always wondered that, though, and that it wasn’t just because of Nick. She was curious as to Joe’s preference, too. She took another look at Jenna and began to laugh, not only at her friend but at her own thoughts. She wondered how girls could be so strange sometimes, but she knew that boys were beyond them.

There weren’t many customers coming in, and with Jenna deciding to drop the questions - much to Sophie’s pleasure- she found herself becoming bored, fighting off the urge to call Joe during her work and tell him how thankful she was for the beautiful flowers. She watched Jenna move about instead, humming to herself while she bounced around happily. Sophie wondered how someone could be so bubbly. How was she able to be happy all the time? She needed lessons.

She frowned to herself when her thoughts continued, wrapping around her mother’s old words. Take lessons from Carry, she had said. Sophie realized that she had become a handful, but what else could she do when her parents decided to get divorced? Her mom wanted her to be more like Carry, but Carry had it easy. She was already out with her boyfriend, starting a life. Jason was moved out, too, and Braden was never home, so Sophie was all alone. She made it a point to go out and do everything her mother hated in her teenage years, age 15 to 18. She died her hair black, got her bellybutton pierced, and even decided to hang out with some of Jason’s old guy friends. Her hair was back to its natural brown color, she had no contact with Jason’s ex-friends, and she never wore her bellybutton ring; it was almost as if she had been fine all along.

But she wasn’t. She wasn’t and she envied Jenna, but only in a way.

She heard the familiar ding on the bell and began to turn with a sigh, ready to paint on her customer friendly smile. When her eyes traced over the visitor, however, her smile was immediate and real.

“Joe!” she giggled, clasping her small hands onto the glass case in front of her. “What are you doing here?”

“Did you get my flowers?” he asked with an amused grin. She nodded happily and watched him slide off his sunglasses, her eyes locking with his excited ones. “I was gonna’ call, but I decided that I would just swing by. You aren’t too busy, right?”

“No,” she laughed, giving her head a quick shake. She glanced around the café and noticed that only a few people occupied it, and that Jenna was no longer around. “I was actually going to call you, to thank for the beautiful flowers.”

“You liked them?” He leaned forward with a small smile, a crease on the left side of his mouth showing.

“Loved them,” she muttered in response. She leaned forward and pecked his lips, smiling a little wider when he did. “Did you want to talk about something?”

“Yeah. I thought we could talk about tomorrow night, you know?” Sophie had a feeling he’d say that. “I was thinking we could go somewhere nice… that way Nick can’t just get up and leave.” He gave her a wide smirk and she laughed in return, shaking the strands of hair away from her face.

“So, somewhere dressy?”

He nodded. “It’ll be something nice for Nick. He always liked to get dressed up and stuff, and he hasn’t been able to in a while; the McDonalds playhouse doesn’t really call for that.” Sophie nodded thoughtfully, slowly taking her bottom lip between her teeth as she digested Joe’s words. Was Nick some type of hermit? She wondered. Maybe child-friendly places were the only places he saw these days. Sophie just didn’t know, but she didn’t plan on asking - even if she was curious.

“I talked to Jenna,” she pointed out, and Joe smiled. “Needless to say, she’s definitely excited.”

“This is so great!” Joe practically exploded, his eyes shining like he had just won something when, in fact, all he had gotten was a date for his brother. “I really hope this goes well. Nick hasn’t been on a date since Sarah…” He didn’t finish his sentence and Sophie hoped she didn’t look too eager to know more. They both let it drop. “Well, I’ll pick you up at 6, kay? Nick’s driving himself. Oh, and tell Jenna to meet us at Mimi’s.”

Sophie nodded quickly and leaned forward to give him another quick kiss, sensing his urgency. He gave her a wave on the way out the door and she watched him walk down the sidewalk until he disappeared, her soft smile still alive.

Everyone seemed to be excited.

Everyone but Nick.

Nick didn’t know what to think when he picked up the phone, only to be met with Joe’s enthusiastic voice. He was told to dress nicely and meet his brother at Mimi’s around 6. He was tempted to say he had caught a cold, maybe even add a fake cough in, but Joe would know that it was just a cover-up. Nick was nervous and scared, and it almost felt like he were a young teenager again, about to go on his first date. The difference in the scenario was the feeling of excitement, or in this case the lack of.

He told himself over and over that this was not a date. He didn’t care if that’s what Joe and Sophie, and most likely Jenna, thought; no. This was not a date. He was simply being friendly, that was it. He nodded to himself at the thought and allowed his body to loosen up, resting his head on the back of the couch.

Nick had been cleaning for hours, refusing to let his mind wander off. He needed to focus so he didn’t think and let himself go; he had to have on his extra best cover for tonight. When he wasn’t bothered with cleaning, when he had finished everything there was to clean, he focused on Isabelle. He fixed her lunch, combed her hair when she tried to braid it and knotted it up instead, helped her change her clothes when she spilled her juice over her dress, and he even sat her down to watch a movie, though she had fallen asleep within the first half hour. So he sat on the couch now, nothing to clean and no Isabelle to take care of, and he felt his mind begin to stir. He never knew if he wanted to erase all the images of his Sarah, or if he wanted to just bottle them up.

Anyone that saw Nick in the state he could put himself in while just thinking about his wife knew that he wasn’t good. He needed someone to help out, a mother for Isabelle, a companion for Nick. He didn’t need to be isolated from the world with only his daughter and his shattered memories. But he held on despite everything, only to let himself fall every once in a while.

He could feel the tears begin to blur his vision while he saw his Sarah holding baby Isabelle, when he saw how happy she was - how happy he was. The tears began to trickle down his cheek when he blinked, but it did nothing to faze him; he was numb. He continued to force the memory of Sarah to the front of his mind, like he always did when he was alone, and soon he found his chest tightening with a familiar ache, and his stomach quivered as another tear dribbled down. Was he hurting as badly as everyone thought? Or maybe he was hurting worse than what they had predicted. No one knew; Nick didn’t let anyone know, he didn’t even let them try to guess. He’d plaster on an encouraging smile and go on his way, but his eyes always gave him a way. He knew they must look dead like the way he felt inside, like Sarah.

He squeezed his eyes shut tight and balled his fists up, weakly dropping them onto his thighs. He couldn’t let this happen now. His eyes flew open and through the blur of the tears he read the clock, immediately taking in that he had only a half hour before he was supposed to meet Joe at Mimi’s. How had the time escaped him like that? He still had to get Sophie up to take her to Mr. Neel, and explaining to her that he’d be gone for a while always made her nervous, and he knew that took a while in itself. And he wasn’t even ready yet! He couldn’t go down there to meet his brother and Sophie and this girl that wanted to meet him looking like this - red eyed and sniffly, dressed in looser than normal faded jeans and an old t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, complete with a new grape-colored stain from Isabelle’s juice.

He lifted himself to stand on his wobbly legs and used the back of his hand to wipe away any wetness that sat on his skin. This is not a date, he repeated to himself, and he continued to say it under his breath while he trudged over to Isabelle’s bedroom.

• • • •

Sophie rolled her eyes while Jason continued to laugh, her closed bedroom door doing nothing to drown out his obnoxiousness. He had been on the phone with Braden for hours, obviously spending the first half making fun of Sophie while she readied herself. She could hear Jason go off about her boyfriend, telling his little brother all about how crazy this family had to be. He knew nothing; she didn’t even. But he was set on picking on his little sister and there was nothing she could do about it.

She huffed.

She slid her hands through her loosely curled hair and wondered if she should’ve put it up, but decided against it yet again and slid her hands down her black knee-length skirt. Her top was a faded black and hugged her a little tighter than the skirt did, the V-neck not as dramatic as a few of the other shirts she had. She wanted to make a good impression, though she didn’t know why considering she knew everyone who was intending, one of them being her boyfriend. Who was she trying to impress?

She slid her small feet into the gray pumps, wobbling a bit before she was able to steady herself. They didn’t make her as tall as she wanted, but her favorite pumps were now in the trash, the broken heal unfixable. It didn’t matter though; she would have a good time without having to worry about her looks. Tonight was Nick and Jenna night.

She frowned a bit.

Sophie carried herself back over to the dresser with her mind whirling, her frown still intact. Her father had taught her to weigh the pros and cons when there was a situation she was unsure of; she felt that this was one of those situations.

The cons, she thought slowly, would be that her best friend would end up with her boyfriend’s brother. While that didn’t really sound bad at all, Sophie knew it couldn’t be too good. What could Jenna and Nick possibly have in common? She slid her tongue across her bottom in thought, her eyes taking in her reflection in the mirror on the wall. Jenna and Nick would clash, she tried to tell herself while pushing the waves that framed her face up for volume, only to have it settle back down a moment later. She knew it wasn’t fair to judge Nick, but she knew - could sense, or the better word - that he wasn’t exactly like Jenna. Maybe that would be a pro after all, she mused; she quickly scolded herself though. This was Nick and Jenna night, and Joe was excited. There had to be pros, right?

She cleared her throat and smoothed her hands down the soft fabric of her shirt, watching her reflection with nerves. The obvious pro would be that Nick liked Jenna and he decided to see her again - that’s what Joe was aiming for. Sophie would help in any way she could, no matter what her gut was telling her. She just didn’t want anyone to get hurt.

“Soph!” Jason shouted from the other room. She instantly snapped her head around and waited for his next words, knowing he wouldn’t wait for a response. “Lover-boy is here!” She felt her cheeks instantly burn and she rolled her eyes, mentally noting to talk to him about Joe’s nickname.

She wobbled towards the bed in a rush and pulled the gray sweater over herself, happy that it was only a little shorter than the skirt; she liked like sweaters. Her purse was in her grasp not even a second later and she took one quick glance in the mirror, rushing away before she could find anything to fix. This night was Nick and Jenna night, she repeated to herself. She sighed.

She spotted Joe almost instantly after pulling open her bedroom door, smiling slightly at the sight of Jason’s grin. He was getting along with Joe and that was good, very good. She just hoped her brother hadn’t said anything embarrassing.

“Hey,” she said in a soft voice, instantly gaining Joe’s attention. She mirrored his smile and took a step forward, holding her arms to her side awkwardly while Jason watched.

“Hey,” Joe said smoothly. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek, smiling a little brighter when her cheeks reddened. “You look amazing.”

She took the compliment with a small thanks and linked her arm with his, tracing her fingers over the black fabric of his suit-jacket that covered his forearm. Mimi’s wasn’t too dressy, but it was a nice enough place, and Sophie knew that Joe was dressed perfectly for the part. She wondered what Joe and Jenna would be wearing.

“How long you guys gonna be?” Jason questioned casually. Sophie turned her head to face her brother and took in his slouched posture, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Just a couple hours,” Joe answered brightly, his words accompanied by a shrug. Sophie nodded with agreement, giving her brother a knowing smile.

“No girls, Jay.”

“Sophie, you know-” he started, but he quickly closed his mouth and shook his head instead. She grinned.

“Well, it was nice seeing you, Jason,” Joe said. He led Sophie towards the door after giving him a small wave. “Maybe we’ll meet up sometime?” Sophie raised her eyebrows and glanced between the two, rolling her eyes when Jason gave him a wide smile. She didn’t get a chance to ask when they decided to bond before he led her out the door.

It was silent on the way to the car, leaving both of them to their thoughts. Sophie knew there was no reason to be nervous, especially since Jenna had sent her a text saying that she was sitting at their saved table in Mimi’s. She noted how Joe practically sped to the restaurant, bouncing up and down in his seat like a child. He hoped Nick was already there, though Jenna didn’t mention him to be. Sophie sighed. The pros outweighed the cons, she thought. In fact, there weren’t really any cons at all, just her doubt.

She relaxed a little.

Joe pulled his car into the partially filled lot and easily slipped into a spot, glancing over at Sophie while he cut the ignition. She offered him a smile but kept her mouth shut, not sure of what there was to say. She could see in his eyes how excited he was; she didn’t want to ruin that.

A sigh fell from her lips while she unbuckled herself, opening up her door just as Joe stepped out. He stepped in front of the car and offered an outstretched hand, giving it a light squeeze when she accepted. She could see him take a quick look around, most likely to search for Nick’s vehicle. Sophie didn’t even know what he drove. Maybe his car was fancy like Joe’s, she thought, but it didn’t really matter. It was getting dark and she knew she couldn’t see too well.

Joe held the door open for her and she immediately entered, the warmth hitting her. She hadn’t realized how flimsy her sweater was until the air around - filled with a slight aroma of tasty food and the heat of people - hit her. Her stomach growled, too, protesting to the lack of food in her system. She had been waiting all day for good food like this, careful not to eat much more so she could fit in the skirt without feeling bloated. She felt silly, but with the way Joe was looking at her she knew it was worth it.

“May I help you?” a male voice asked suddenly, and she immediately turned to see a man standing close by, glancing between the two when Joe popped up next to her.

“Jonas,” he said easily, and the man nodded with acceptance.

“You have someone at your table already.” Sophie smiled at the mentioning of Jenna. She wondered if she was nervous.

The man led Joe and Sophie through the aisles between the different tables, the people around all keeping to themselves and their quiet conversations. She felt herself smiling at the scenery. The last time she had been to somewhere remotely fancy was Braden’s wedding; she was excited. She looked up at Joe at that instant, her smile just as soft as his, and she could see how ready he was for this to work.

Nick hadn’t agreed to go on any sort of date since Sarah had passed, and Joe understood at first, but a year was a long time. Nick had gone a year without any female contact aside from his family; a year without that feeling he had once loved, without a kiss or a soft hug, or even just someone to talk to. Joe knew how much Nick had embraced love with Sarah, but it seemed like love was hopeless to his brother now, like he had only one spot and it belonged to Isabelle. Joe understood, he had to, but he wanted to take action. Sophie’s friend Jenna was perfect for him, he thought. He had seen her a couple times when he stopped by the coffee shop, thought she was pretty and bubbly - bubbly was something Nick needed.

Sophie disagreed.

Nick struck Sophie as the quiet type, the kind that could sit in a silence and still allow it to be comfortable, whereas Jenna constantly needed to talk. Sophie also thought that Nick struck her as a sweet man, one that would give you a rose or Valentine’s Day and take you out just because. Jenna didn’t have a single romantic bone in her body. And, although it didn’t really matter, Sophie somehow thought that maybe Nick preferred brunettes. It was just a thought.

“Here we are,” the man said once they reached a more private booth in a corner, but Sophie’s eyes were already on Jenna, and they held a mixture of emotions.

She had smiled at the first sight of her best friend, but her eyebrows rose once she took in her outfit. Jenna stood as her company neared, giving Sophie and Joe a good look at her. The faded charcoal color of her dress was dark but it held a shimmering undertone, and it clung to her thin body in all the right places. There was a plunging neckline that suddenly made Sophie’s outfit look more than modest, and it seemed to enhance the fullness of bust, making Sophie a little more envious. Sophie could see the fabric ending at her knee, but it felt as if it were so much shorter than her black skirt.

The man informed the group that he would be back shortly to take their orders, but Sophie paid more attention to Jenna’s smiling face. Would Nick like her? She glanced over at Joe - she knew he already did. She sighed.

“Sophie, you look so pretty,” Jenna gushed, but the compliment didn’t do anything to lift her spirits. Pretty, she sneered in her head. Pretty made her sound like a young girl. “And Joe,” she grinned, “you look very handsome.” Joe took this compliment better than Sophie had taken hers.

“Thanks. You look amazing.”

Sophie gave a soft laugh and hoped it didn’t come off as dry or nervous, but it had its desired effect on catching Joe’s attention. He immediately stepped behind her and pulled her light sweater off to set on the back of the leather bench. She pulled her skirt down and slid onto the bench, moving until she was seated by the curve of it. Joe slid in next to her, Jenna in front of him, which left either Nick to sit on the outside of Jenna or on the inside by Sophie if Jenna wanted the corner. She didn’t like this very much anymore.

“I’m excited!” Jenna gushed in a light whisper, like it were some big secret. But Sophie still smiled along with Joe, shifting on the bench. “Do you think I’m dressed alright?” Sophie was prepared to answer, but Joe beat her to it.

“You’re dressed fine,” he said. “You and Soph look like models.” Sophie laughed at his comment, knowing it wasn’t true. Jenna looked like a model, not plain Sophie.

Sophie took a quick look around when Jenna decided to set her gaze on her, something possessing her to blurt out her question. “Where’s Nick?” Joe immediately pulled out his phone and looked down, scrunching up his cleanly-shaven face.

“He should be here soon…” he trailed off, but Sophie could hear the hint of worry in his voice. Would he show up? Would he bail on them? No one knew.

Joe tried to make small talk with the ladies as they sat and waited for Nick. He even told the waiter that they were waiting for someone else, holding out on their ordering. Sophie didn’t want to complain, but she was hungry and she hoped Nick would hurry up. Then again, she sort of hoped he didn’t show. She didn’t know what possessed her thoughts, but taking another glance at Jenna’s appearance helped her decide.

She didn’t want her boyfriend’s brother being seduced by her friend.

She cleared her throat and continued to squirm around in the tight skirt, becoming uncomfortable as the two stared at her and spoke. She felt like a child again, burning under her parents’ hot gazes. She offered them a small smile, but her attention was immediately drawn from them, zeroing in on the door that seemed so far away. It opened in a rather rushed manner and a body stepped in hurriedly. The first thing Sophie saw was a mixture of neat and messy curls - Nick. She felt herself smile a little, almost wanting to laugh for no reason at all. Just seeing him, especially with the way he looked so frazzled, made her want to giggle like a schoolgirl.

Joe caught the way Sophie’s attention had zoomed away and he, along with Jenna, immediately glanced over to what her eyes were trained to. He sighed in silent relief when he spotted his brother, his own smile creeping over his lips when he saw the distant body slouch. He was late, almost twenty minutes late, and he was embarrassed. Joe knew his brother.

Jenna leaned over to Sophie when Nick turned to follow the man that had escorted Sophie and her group, and she whispered a low “whoa.” Sophie understood her surprise, of course, because she couldn’t deny that Nicholas was very good looking. The twenty-three year old male still had a boyish charm to him, Sophie decided as her eyes followed his moving figure, watching as he shied away from their gazes without even looking up. His curls, though they held a messiness to them, were still neat and kept to a good length, one that made him look more mature, and the way he carried himself always gave off the sense of purpose. She could easily compare him to Joe and find the differences.

“Here we are,” the man repeated, and Sophie wondered how many times he said that in his shift. “I’ll be back to take your orders,” he informed them again, and Joe nodded with acceptance this time.

The three let their gazes’ burn into Nick as he looked up, his eyes scanning around the faces for a quick moment before they shied away again. He himself felt like a timid adolescent again, letting himself fall into an uncomfortably quiet act. He wasn’t good with these kinds of things. He wanted to be home with Isabelle, watching a movie with her instead of having Mr. Neel keep her company. He sighed.

“Hey, Nick,” Joe greeted easily; always the one to break the ice. Both Joe and Jenna decided to stand then, leaving Sophie to wonder why Jenna needed to move. Did she want to show herself off? Sophie squirmed again and trained her eyes to the table, but the soft voice that sounded almost unexpectedly made her glance back up.

“Hey,” he greeted back lowly, his tone smooth despite his guarded demeanor. He gave his older brother a soft smile before scanning his eyes over Sophie to land on the new girl.

“Jenna,” she said eagerly, holding out her hand. Nick glanced down to see the her lightly tanned skin and red nail polish, slowly pulling his own hand up to shake hers politely. She gave his hand a firm squeeze and then allowed their short grasp to release, relieving Nick in some way. This can’t be so bad, he told himself. He just needed to get through the night and act as if he were doing okay. He cleared his throat.

“Nick.”

Jenna gave a soft giggle and nodded, slipping a little closer to him. Sophie noted how he almost jerked at the proximity, but calmed down once he realized that she wanted him to slide in so she could take the edge. Sophie noted his reluctance. She’d be sitting next to him, too?

Nick obliged to Jenna’s want and slowly slid in, settling himself a little ways away from Sophie. She could’ve sworn she saw his eyebrows knit together, but she was positive that his eyes trailed over her for a quick moment, then shooting over to Jenna. Their appearances were quite drastic and she suddenly felt underdressed. Sophie took that moment to look at Nick, silently comparing his choice of attire to Joe’s. Joe had on a casual black suit-jacket over a white button-up and a pair of snug fitting dress pants, his boots shining. Nick however, though he was dressed nicely, seemed to be different. He had a snug gray t-shirt underneath his own black suit-jacket, but his sleeves were rolled up his forearms to rest at his elbow. His pants, although they were similar to Joe’s, seemed to have more of a denim look, and his boots were just clean rather than shining.

He looked nice.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he said in the same low voice. Sophie noted that he was no longer at Jenna, but at his brother instead. “Isabelle got a little… difficult.”

Joe nodded at Nick’s words with enthusiasm, but Sophie couldn’t imagine Isabelle being difficult. She was so cute, and if she was anything like Nick then she had to be pretty quiet.

“Who’s Isabelle?” Jenna asked softly, truly confused. Sophie bit her lip. She had forgotten to mention that her date had a daughter.

Nick glanced up to meet his brother’s eyes through his lashes, a slow sigh allowing his chest to deflate. He was surprised that Joe hadn’t told Jenna his life story in the almost-twenty-minutes he was late. He glanced over at Sophie for a moment, but she said nothing and it’s surprised him that she kept her gaze down to her lap instead.

“Umm,” he tried, giving his throat a nervous clear. Maybe Jenna would have a problem with the information he was about to give her. Maybe he could get out early-

“Izzy is Nick’s daughter,” Joe said clearly. He kept the smile on his face while looking straight at Jenna, and Sophie noticed the way his eyes sparked, seeming to say that he would have a problem if Jenna didn’t like it. In a polite way though, of course.

Jenna looked at Nick with a hint of shock, and then back to Joe, eventually landing her eyes on Sophie. She knew she should’ve told her, but then she thought that maybe it wasn’t her business to tell. She kept her face blank.

“Oh…” Jenna trailed, slowly turning her head to gaze back at Nick, her straight strands flowing easily. “Well, umm… how old is she?”

“Three,” Nick answered. Sophie couldn’t get over how foreign his voice seemed to sound.

“Oh, well that’s new…” Jenna gave a little laugh and a wide smile that told everyone it didn’t really matter to her. What else could she do? Sophie knew Jenna was too nice to say anything bad about it. Surely she wasn’t so attracted to Nick that she’d stick around to know deeper things, things that Sophie was curious about, right?

She watched Nick open his mouth a little, only to closet it a second later and nod instead. Joe glanced between the two and smiled, squeezing Sophie’s thigh through her skirt. He was ready to say something, to break the sudden awkwardness, but the waiter took his drop.

“Are you ready to order yet?” he asked politely, but Sophie knew she wasn’t. She had been so focused on the tension around that she hadn’t even picked up the menu, and she noticed that no one else had either.

“Um, yeah,” Joe answered despite everything. She’d rely on him to order for her, then. “Do you want the smoked salmon like me, Soph?” he asked quietly. She scrunched up her ace without thought, causing him to laugh a little louder. “Guess not,” he muttered with amusement. “So what do you want then?” Sophie was aware that all the eyes were on her now - all eyes but one pair, and he was looking down at the menu now instead of guessing like the rest of them as the waiter patiently waited.

“Umm… I don’t know,” she whispered with a quick glance to the man. She didn’t like feeling rushed. Especially when Joe was the only one taking charge.

“You know, I think I’ll have the salmon, too,” Jenna piped up finally. “My parents used to cook it all the time, so it sounds good to me.” Joe nodded as she smiled and proceeded to glance at the waiter to watch him write it down.

“What about you, Nick?” he questioned. Sophie saw the chocolate eyes dart up and then back down before a second even passed, keeping silent. “You want the steak?” he questioned again. This caught his attention. He opened his mouth to speak but Joe was already telling the waiter to put that down.

“No,” Nick interrupted. The man stopped his scribbling and looked down with raised eyebrows. “No, I don’t want the steak.” Sophie noticed something in his voice and it caught her attention, especially when Joe’s expression changed.

“Nick, you always get the steak…”

“No,” he refused again, shaking his head this time. “No, I don’t. I don’t want it.”

Jenna glanced over to Sophie, their confusion matching. But while Jenna was more curious as to why Nick was getting so upset over an order of steak Sophie felt more concerned.

“Okay, Nick,” Joe sighed, holding up his hands to mock surrender. Nick immediately looked down, his cheeks tinting as the two girls stared. Sophie eyes Joe then and instantly saw his eyes soften, and she knew that he knew why his brother was upset over steak. “I’m sorry.”

Nick cleared his throat and kept his eyes to the menu, acknowledging his brother’s apology with a short nod. “I’ll, um, I’ll just have the pasta alfredo…” The waiter gave him an extra-long look to make sure that’s what he wanted before slowly writing it down, and Sophie couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him. She felt like she needed to break the ice now.

“You know what, that sounds really good, actually,” she said softly, but she was being honest. “I’ll take the same.” Nick glanced over at her then, taking in the small smile that she offered, but she didn’t get one in return. She wondered what was going on inside his head.

“What about drinks?” the man responded once a silence came over them again. Sophie’s mind was just dying for her to get out the sarcastic words of how great this night was so far. She bit her tongue.

“I think it’s safe to say that we’ll all have diet cokes,” Joe announced, and everyone seemed to agree.

The silence washed over them again, only breaking when Jenna decided to ask Nick a few questions. These moments caught Sophie’s attention. Jenna had asked him basic questions, ones you would ask in a child’s game of twenty-questions, but Nick was thankful for it. Her questions consisted of “What’s your favorite color? What’s your favorite food? Do you like basketball?” To which he answered, “Blue. I don’t really know anymore. Basketball is fine.” They didn’t say much about him, but she felt like maybe he was opening up. Or he could be lying. She’d never know, not with Nick.

The food had come and Jenna kept up her questions, and Nick kept his cool. He tried to answer as politely as he could and take some sort of interest in her words, but he also tried to keep the answers simple. When she asked what he liked to do on the weekends he answered with the truth - spending time with Isabelle. He wished he would have lied, though, when she began to ask about his more personal life.

“So…” Jenna trailed off. She picked at her salmon with a fork, slowly chewing on each bite before taking a sip of her coke. “You’re Joe’s younger brother then?” Sophie took her eyes away from the pasta to scan over Jenna’s curious face before landing on Nick while she chewed slowly. She watched him, analyzing the way he kept his head down for a moment longer before turning to glance at Jenna. Sophie had almost forgotten that she was sitting next to him, but his scent was a constant reminder.

“Yeah,” he answered, but then he looked back down at his plate. Was he really uncomfortable? Sophie wondered.

“He’s pretty much the baby in the family, even though Frankie’s the youngest,” Joe commented with a slight smirk. Jenna gave off a soft laugh and Joe chose that moment to wink at Nick, acting as if everything were going okay. Nick wanted to ask him I he was blind.

“Well, he is pretty adorable,” Jenna giggled again. Sophie didn’t know if those words bothered him, but she could see by the tint in his cheeks that it did embarrass him. Joe grinned at her attempted flirting, encouraging it with his eyes. Sophie shoved some food into her mouth. “It kind of makes me wonder how he could be so young and have a child.”

That sentence didn’t seem like much, but it weighed a ton to Nick. Did this Jenna think that his Isabelle was a mistake? That what he shared with Sarah never existed? Granted she didn’t know about the love of his life, but it didn’t ease any of the pain or frustration. He kept quiet though, his chest tightening while he held himself together. Sophie noticed, though. She was beginning to notice a lot about Nick.

“He was married,” Joe said in a quieter tone, trying to comfort Nick and talk about him to his “date” at the same time. It didn’t help Nick though; it made things worse. Why were they speaking about him like he wasn’t even there? He was. He was sitting right next to Sophie.

He glanced at the young brunette then, almost forgetting that she was there. She was quieter than he expected. He found his mind flashing quickly to the idea that this girl was not his type, but he couldn’t worry about his brother. He had himself to fend for now that he was at a table with people who seemed to be against him.

“He was?” Jenna almost gasped at the new information, snapping her head towards Nick to see him tense up. He almost dropped his fork and he found himself wanting to shoot a glare at Joe, but he had to keep his cool. He knew what would happen if he didn’t - he would blow up. He would become angry and do something embarrassing, and then he would burst into tears and run away to lock himself up with Isabelle. Nick wasn’t one for the dramatics, but it had happened before. And it had happened with Joe.

And it was close to happening again.

“Mhm,” Joe hummed. Sophie found that his casualness as he spoke of this irritated him and she wondered - did it irritate Nick? Joe picked at his salmon but refrained from putting anything into his mouth, choosing to look up at Jenna instead. “His-”

“Joe,” Nick stated sternly. It surprised them all. Sophie glanced at him through her bangs, biting the inside of her lip while the silence took over. Nick was aware of her stare and that those piercing green eyes were burning into the side of his face, but he was also aware of Jenna’s gaze on him, and Joe’s. “I can speak for myself.”

Joe wanted to laugh at his brother’s words, to ask him if he really could. He wasn’t saying anything, only answering simple questions, and even that seemed to be difficult. He was just trying to help.

“I know,” Joe answered lowly, like the two girls couldn’t hear. Sophie was intent on listening. “I’m just trying to help.”

“I don’t need help, Joe,” Nick hissed. They weren’t the only ones surprised by his unusually harsh tone; Nick was even more shocked. “I would ask for it if I did…” he tried a little more softly, but Joe scoffed.

“No, you wouldn’t.” He balled up his napkin and tossed it onto the table, leaning back against the leather bench with his arms crossed over his chest. Sophie watched Nick, surprised when he stayed in his position, only straightening his posture a little. “I’m just trying to help you get over being shy in front of your date.”

Date. Nick wanted to jump up and yell ‘HA!’ This was not a date. This was not a date and he certainly didn’t need his brother to fend for him.

“I’m tired of you talking like I’m not sitting right here, Joe,” he tried again, but the sternness in his voice returned at the end of his sentence.

“Are you still mad about the steak thing?” Sophie’s eyes darted between the brothers that sat on opposite sides of her, her eyes wide. “Jesus, Nick!” Joe hissed, throwing his hands up to level with the table. “It’s food. Why does it matter if you and - “

“Don’t bring that up.” His voice was harder now, making Sophie jump. She hadn’t pictured Nick like this, holding a dark expression while he practically glared at Joe. She wanted to glance over at Jenna to see what she thought, but her eyes stayed glued to Nick. “It’s not right for you to bring that up here.”

“When is it right to bring up then, huh? Tell me, Nick, because I never know what I can and can’t say with you anymore. It’s like walking on damn eggshells whenever you’re around!” Sophie could see the people from nearby tables glance over at them to see what the commotion was from Joe’s raised voice. She set her hand on his thigh and gave it a squeeze, hoping to calm him, but Nick was the one who needed some sort of support.

“How about you don’t bring it up?” he practically spat out. “How about you leave it alone?” He smacked his own napkin down on the table, leaving his fingers curled around the fabrics in a tight grip. “Oh and here’s an idea, Joe. How about you leave me alone, too.”

To say Joe wasn’t stunned would be a lie. He looked at his brother with a softer expression and took Sophie’s silent encouragement to calm down. His brother was hurting, he told himself. He didn’t know how long Nick could stay hurting, but he had to be a little more understanding. Nick was sensitive.

“You don’t mean that,” Joe said in a calmer tone. Nick knew Joe was right. He needed his brother, but it was just so difficult all the time.

Sophie took in the way Nick stared at Joe. She turned her body the best she could to get a better look at his eyes; they seemed so lifeless all of a sudden, the intensity she had thought of before being present. She didn’t know when or even if Joe would make this situation less awkward. She had to do something.

“Umm… I have to use the restroom,” she blurted out quietly, and her cheeks instantly flushed when Nick’s eyes landed on her first. They roamed her face with an expression she didn’t quite recognize, but she could see that he was lost for a moment, almost forgetting where he was. He was losing it - she saw it. He flickered his eyes back down to his plate and let his hands slide into his lap when Joe looked at his girlfriend, a gentle smile on his lips. He took his time sliding out and helping her stand, roaming over Jenna for a moment as she followed Sophie in standing. Nick had heard her address him and for a moment he wondered why, but then he remembered that he was her date. He glanced up to see her give him a smile and say that she would go with Sophie and that they’d be back in a moment, leaving him and Joe to nod.

He wished they’d stay in the bathroom so he could leave. He just wanted to go home and lie down. Not only had he embarrassed himself, but he was starting to lose his cool and he knew by the look Sophie gave him that she saw it. He couldn’t let her see that he was hurting; she was a stranger to him, nothing more than Joe’s girlfriend. And for a moment he wanted to blame her for getting him into this mess, but he couldn’t.

She had just saved him from digging himself further into a hole while they were in public, and he felt like he owed her somehow.

This was just one reason why he hated socializing.