I Want to Be the Prettiest Wreck You've Ever Seen

The next few days went back to normal and I went back to being clumsy.

The day before I started getting ready for Thanksgiving. Jackson came over to keep me company since they had the day off again-the team was practicing again. He was leaving that night. I tried not to think about it as he sat on the counter watching me. He hadn’t brought up my family again so either Rob hasn’t told him and he just won’t ask me or Rob has told him and he won’t bring it up so I won’t burst into tears.

I was washing celery in the sink when he cleared his throat pointedly and looked at his lap.

“Uh-oh.” I said, looking up at him. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly. I frowned.

“That’s a pretty general apology. Wanna narrow it down for me? What are you sorry for?”

“Rob told me…” He started quietly. I sighed and dried off my hands. I gently took his soft hands in mine.

“Did he also tell you I’m doing a lot better since I came here?” I asked. He shook his head, still not looking at me. “Well, I am. Thanks to you guys.” I said firmly. He finally looked at me.
“Really?” He asked. I nodded. “It’s just…That sucks-it’s not fair.” He said. I smiled at him and stepped between his knees. “Don’t you miss them?” He asked softly. I blinked at him.

“Sure, I do. I just find it incredibly difficult to be sad and depressed when I’m around you guys.” I said.

“Why?” He asked, leaning a little closer to my face. My heart sped up. Poor thing’s gonna give out someday thanks to him.

“Because you all are just…so friendly that it’s easy to be my real self and move on with things.” I said lamely. He smiled, leaning closer still, his face just inches from mine.

“You’re adorable.” He breathed. I closed my eyes, smiling. ‘If he leaned just a little closer-we’d be kissing.’ I thought. ‘Girlfriend!’My brain screamed at me. ‘Who cares about the stupid girlfriend?’ I thought back sarcastically. ‘You do-you saw what cheating did to Monica-‘

“Maggie?” I heard Jackson say. I slowly became aware that the phone was ringing.

“Oh.” I said, my cheeks flushing. I went to go answer it, completely embarrassed. I took a message for Kevin’s new girlfriend and I told her I’d have him call her the second he got back. I turned back to Jackson, but he had gone. I blew out a sigh and went back to finishing the celery for the stuffing. I was humming Rehab by Rihanna as I turned back towards the fridge to see Jackson leaning against it. I jumped as he smiled apologetically.

“I would have said something sooner but you get so jumpy and you were holding the knife.” He said, smirking and eying the knife. “The very large, French knife.” He said. I smiled.

“Thanks.” I got out two loaves of bread. “I thought you left.” I said, confused.

“Just for a second. I won’t ever leave without saying goodbye.” He said softly. I smiled as he took one loaf from me.

“So what are we doing with these?” He asked.

“Cubing them for the stuffing.” I said, taking out a few slices from my bread sleeve and demonstrated for him.

“You make homemade stuffing?” He asked, surprised.

“The way my dad used to. If he could make it from scratch-he would. He hated using the box stuff.” I laughed. “Cookies, pies…bread…All kinds of stuff.” I said. I looked at Jackson when he was quiet. “Jackson, I can talk about them without crying.” I said. He cracked a smile and I bumped his arm.

“I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He said softly.

“Oh, honey, trust me. I’m more uncomfortable when Kellan is hitting on me than I am talking about my parents.” I laughed.

“Why is that?” He asked. “You must be used to guys hitting on you and flirting with you.” He said and I laughed.

“Not really. They all liked my sister. Next to her I was incredibly plain.” I said. “Even though we’re identical twins.” I finished.

“Do you have a picture?” He asked. I put down the knife and pulled out my phone, scrolling through the pictures until I found one of Monica and I at a friend’s summer birthday. I was wearing a hot pink and black bikini and Monica was wearing a lime green one. I showed it to him and he frowned. I smirked, sure he couldn’t tell us apart, no one ever could.

“No…you’re prettier.” He said finally. “And I don’t like that lime green on her-it makes her look sickly.” He said, handing the phone back. I stared at him. “What? You don’t think so?” He asked, confused.

“No one has ever been able to tell us apart.” I said dumbly.

“Oh-it’s not that hard.” He said.

“Oh really?” I asked skeptically.

“Your smile is genuine, beautiful. Her smile is fake-like she’s only smiling because you’re taking the picture. Also, your eyes are darker, but they have some gold in them, her eyes aren’t as…mesmerizing.” He said. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. “Besides-it’s quite obvious she’s the plain one. She can’t hold a candle to you.” He said. I covered my face in pure embarrassment and he pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me, laughing.

“You blush so easily.” He whispered.

“I’m sorry.” I said into his chest.

“Don’t be-I love it.” He said, his soft lips brushing my ear. A small part of my brain screamed that this was wrong but I knew I wouldn’t let anything happen even though I really wanted him to kiss me. My sister had been cheated on and it almost killed her. She was depressed for weeks. I won’t do that to another person-no matter how much I love Jackson.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and I jumped away. He laughed and pulled it out. He motioned to me he’d be right back and he went outside to answer it. I finished chopping the bread and I put it in a bowl, clicking the lid on just ask Jackson came back in, sighing loudly. He put an arm casually around me, looking at me.

“Can I ask you something?” He asked suddenly, stepping away from me.

“Sure.”
“Ok-let’s say you had a boyfriend who was busy when you called him-what would you do?” He asked, watching me intently.

“Well, for starters-I’d probably have text him first. And if he doesn’t text me back right away, I’d give him three hours or so. I mean-he should be done by then and then I’d call him. If he doesn’t answer I’d leave a message and trust that he’d call me back when he got a chance.” I said, thinking it over.

“Hmmm.” He mused.

“Why?” I asked.

“I missed my girlfriend’s call and now she’s calling me every five minutes.” He sighed.

“Turn it off-and when you see her tomorrow just tell her it died.” I said. He nodded.

“You’re good.” I laughed.

“Thanks.”

We finished getting all the stuff ready and he had to leave to catch his flight. He gave me a tight hug and kissed my cheek.

“Have fun.” I said sincerely.

“You, too.” He smiled. I waved as he left. Kellan was driving him to the airport so Rob came over with Ashley to keep me company. Kevin was in a meeting all day. I was lying on the couch upside down, my head over the edge, just above the floor, and my legs over the back when they came in.

“That looks comfy.” Ashley said, joining me excitedly. I smiled.

“So how’d today go?” Rob asked. I sighed.

“Good.” I said dully.

“Really? It sounds it.” Ashley joked.

“Too good-I almost kissed him.” I groaned.

“Oh-why’d you stop?” Rob asked, sitting in front of my face. I shrugged as best I could.

“Monica’s boyfriend cheated on her and it almost killed her. I don’t want to be the other woman and plus his girlfriend called.” I said.

“Ugh.” Ashley rolled her eyes.

“He was getting so annoyed with her that he turned his cell phone off. She was calling him every five minutes.” I said.

“Well, she sounds lovely.” Rob smirked.

“Why was she calling him so much?” Ash asked.

“Because he missed her first call.” I said.

“Well, I can see why he likes you better.” Rob said.

“You’re insane.” I said, laughing.

“No-he has a point. You’re nothing like his girlfriend and now he’s seeing what he does and doesn’t have.” Ashley explained.

“Ok-I love you guys to death-but you’re both crazy.” I said, laughing. Rob looked at me.

“Why is it so hard to believe that guys like you?” He asked, sighing.

“Because guys don’t like me. They like Ashley and Kristen and Nikki and Monica.” I said exasperatedly.

“What makes them any different?” Rob asked. I looked at Ashley who was watching me, waiting for my answer.

“They’re gorgeous, confident…They know where they belong.” I mumbled.

“You belong with us.” Ashley whispered.

“And what about when it’s all over? You will have to stop filming eventually. Where do I belong then?” I asked. They didn’t answer for a long minute. “See?”

“What do you mean they’re gorgeous?” Rob asked, talking over my last word and looking at me. “You’re just as gorgeous as Ashley.” I scoffed.

“More so, I think.” Ashley added. I rolled my eyes.

“Anyways-Jackson likes you-end of story. Accept it…don’t-that’s up to you.” Rob said.

“That’s cheating.” I pouted. He kissed my forehead.

“Yes, but I can.” He smirked. I looked to Ashley for help but she was nodding in agreement.

“Alright-cheaters. I’m taking a shower and then I’m going to bed. I shall see you both tomorrow.” I said, struggling to get up. Rob helped me and I smiled at him. “Thanks.” He grinned.

“No problem.” Ashley got up without any help and she still managed to be more graceful than me. I sighed as Rob put an arm around my shoulder.

“We all love you, clumsiness and boxing included.” He whispered.

“Really? You don’t get sick of my tripping?” I asked, surprised.

“Nope. It’s endearing. You wouldn’t be you if you weren’t a little klutzy.” He said. I smiled.

“Thanks, Rob.” I said softly. He kissed the side of my head and he got ready to go as I gave Ashley a big hug.

“I love you, sweetie. Get some rest.” She said. “I’ll be over in the morning to help.” I smiled.

“Alright.” They left and I went up to get in the shower.

The next day I woke up at seven thirty and went downstairs to make coffee. I started to get ready for the day. At around ten Ashley walked in with Kellan. Kevin was watching the parade on the big TV.

“I’m sorry-he said he had to come.” She said apologetically as he came into the kitchen. I could tell right away he was upset.

“Why’s he breathing like that?” I asked worriedly.

“Jackson gets to get you presents.” He huffed. I sighed, relaxing.

“That’s what you’re mad about?” I asked. “Listen-he tricked me. I told him no presents after I told him when my birthday was.” I said. He pouted. “Oh, alright. Yes.” I groaned. He broke into a huge grin and picked me up in a giant bear hug.

“Thank you.” He whispered. I rolled my eyes.

“Does that mean we all get to get you something?” Ashley asked. I nodded, sighing.

“Why not?” She squeaked and clapped.

The others came over around eleven thirty and Kellan told them the ‘good’ news. I stayed in the kitchen, humming to myself, as I cooked, the others stayed in the living room with Kevin.

Kellan came into the kitchen and slid on the counter, watching me.

“Hi, Kellan.” I said, smiling.

“Hey, beautiful.” He smirked. I paused and turned to him.

“Can I ask you something seriously? Like-I want a God’s honest answer.” I said. He nodded.

“Sure, anything.”

“Do you mean it when you say that stuff to me? Or do you say it to everyone?” I asked quietly. He slid off the counter and hugged me.

“I say it because it’s true. In every way possible you are truly a beautiful person.” He said honestly. I looked up at him and motioned for his face to come closer. I kissed his cheek and he grinned.

“Thank you.” I said.

“You have a problem with being beautiful.” He said and I wasn’t sure if it was a questions or an observation.

“No-just a problem accepting that everyone seems to think I am.” I said.

“Well-then, we’ll just keep telling you until you do accept it.” He said, smiling.

“Alright-I can handle that.” I smiled back. We were silent for a moment and I started humming again.

“What are you singing?” He asked. I looked up.

“What? Oh-just a song I heard on the radio the other day.” I said, my cheeks blushing slightly.

“What’s it called?” He asked, tilting his head.

“Angels on the moon.” I said, closing my eyes and picturing the words in my head.

“Sing it.” He prompted. I shook my head.

“No way, Jose.” I said. He laughed.

“Please? For me?” He gave me a puppy dog face and I frowned.

“You suck.” I muttered. He smirked. I rolled my eyes and mentally started the song over in my head as I kept working. I could remember the words better that way.


Do you dream that the world will know your name?
So tell me your name
Do you care about all the little things, or anything at all?
I wanna feel all the chemicals inside, I wanna feel
I wanna sunburn just to know that I’m alive
To know I’m alive

Don’t tell me if I’m dying cause I don’t wanna know
If I can’t see the sun maybe I should go
Don’t wake me cause I’m dreaming of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know never leaves too soon

Do you believe in the day that you were born?
Tell me, do you believe?
Do you know that every day’s the first day of the rest of your life

Don’t tell me if I’m dying cause I don’t wanna know
If I can’t see the sun maybe I should go
Don’t wake me cause I’m dreaming of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know never leaves too soon

I trailed off and looked at him to see he was grinning.

“That’s all I know.” I said.

“That’s my new favorite song.” He said, still grinning. I felt my face flush slightly. “Hmmm.”

“What?” I asked.

“I see what he meant about that.” He said, watching me.

“What who meant about what?” I whined. He smirked.

“What Jackson meant about your blushing.” He said. My face got even hotter.

“What’d he say about it?” I stammered.

“That you’re adorable when you blush and he has a hard time taking his eyes off you.” He said.

“Oh, he did not, you liar.” I scoffed. He just continued to smirk at me. “Go away now. Everything’s almost ready.” He hopped off the counter, smacked my butt and went into the living room with the others.

I got everything on the table and Kevin cut the turkey and we all started eating.

After two hours of sitting at the table with everyone I got up to start doing the clean up. Rob pulled me into his lap and wouldn’t let go.

“Why do you always try to break the rules?” He asked.

“What rules?” I asked, confused. Ashley looked at me.

“The rules that say they do clean up while we don’t.” She said simply. I laughed.

“But I made the mess.” I protested.

“Yeah, you did.” Kellan agreed. “But you’re still not allowed in the kitchen.” I pouted. Rob softly kissed my neck as he pushed me to my feet and Kristen and Ashley linked arms with me and marched me into the living room.

We watched music videos on the big screen and then played guitar hero for a bit until they were done with the clean up.

Kevin changed the channel to the football game and he and Kellan were watching that. Ashley, Nikki and Kristen were playing go fish on the floor and I was laying down with my head in Rob’s lap, watching them. Occasionally I’d throw in ‘Ask me’ and they would start to before they realized I wasn’t playing.

At five thirty I asked if anyone wanted dessert and Kellan looked at me like I was his personal savior.

“You have dessert?” He asked in awe. I nodded.

“There’s apple pie, pumpkin or blueberry.” I said.

“Did you make them?” Nikki asked.

“Yeah, yesterday.”

“Homemade?” Kellan asked skeptically.

“No-the pie fairy made them.” I said sarcastically.

“Listen-that’s enough outta you.” He said, pointing at me. I laughed and stood up, pulling Rob with me.

“So, no pie for Kellan. Anyone else?” I asked. Kellan jumped up and I skipped into the kitchen and picked up one of the pies.

“That’s cheating!” He said. I smirked.

“Yeah-but I’m allowed.” He nodded, backing off.

I served everyone their pie and Kellan licked my face as I handed him his piece. I groaned and wiped my face on his shirt. He just laughed at me.

At around eight thirty Rob and Kellan left for the airport to get Taylor, Jackson and his girlfriend. The girls stayed with me until about ten when I started to fall asleep. I saw them to the door and trudged up to my room and fell asleep almost instantly.

I woke up the next morning and my neck was killing me. I tried taking a hot shower to see if that would help, but it only made it worse.

I got dressed, straightened my hair and applied some eyeliner and mascara, making my chocolate eyes darker.

I went out to my car and put the heat on full blast. I sped off for the lot and parked poorly, wanting to get inside where it was warm. I skipped past the guard and into the building.

Upon rounding one of the corners I crashed right into someone. I looked up and saw Jackson standing next to a gorgeous blonde. Cara.