The Greatest Love Of All.

That weekend came in a blink of an eye.
I was happy to get back to Arizona for a couple of days, especially to see Kennedy. Fortunately he wasn’t angry at me for rejecting him, and that was really mature of him. I was thrilled to see Madison: I wanted her to meet Elliott too. The only thing I wasn’t really happy for was knowing that seeing Kennedy would have meant seeing John as well. I felt nervous and awkward even before seeing him.
We took the bus on Friday morning from Los Angeles to Phoenix, and it took us more than six hours to get there. Fortunately Kennedy came to pick us up at the station: when I saw him I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Girls I’m so glad to see you!”

He hugged me first and I felt his hands touching my hips too roughly. It was awkward, so I stepped back.
We got into his car and he drove to Tempe, but it didn’t take long. We would have stayed at his, even if the house wasn’t that big. Me and Elliott would have slept in his big bed, while he would have been on the couch in the living room. His parents and brother weren’t there so we couldn’t meet them.
We got into the car again, this time to Gilbert. On the way to it, Kennedy explained that the show was a free thing in a skate park they just built in town, so it was like the inauguration and a lot of people would have been there. It was sort of a trial show before heading on another big tour, from what he said.

“And here we are…”

We arrived in front of a big skate park, where a lot of guys were skating already. Next to it, people were preparing a quite small stage for the band. I saw Pat setting his drum set and Garrett wandering around. Jared was talking on the phone and Max was talking to Tim. Aaron was the only one who was working his ass off backstage trying to get everything at his place. There was one missing person, though.

“Annie Sutton”

I heard my name being called so I turned to see who it was. I was so shocked to see Madison running up to me to hug me. We both started screaming, saying we missed each other and being undecided to which one of us was the most changed or gorgeous. She had longer hair and of course, she was tanned.

“Oh my God! I haven’t been seeing you in ages! Look like years you’re gone from home!”

“Mad, I missed you so much!”

“Ahhhh come here and hug me!”

We talked alone for a while, letting everyone else out of the conversation; then I let her meet Elliott and Kennedy. At first glance it looked like the girls didn’t like each other, but maybe it was my impression.
I really hoped they would have gotten along: they were my best girl friends after all.
Kennedy told us it was time for the sound check so he left the three of us alone. We sat on a bench to watch it, and the thought of seeing John in a couple of minutes made me shiver.

“You didn’t tell me you have friends who are that cute!”

“And would you ever believe she rejected him?”

“WHAT? Are you crazy!?”

“Girls I didn’t let you meet to cooperate against me!”

“Now you have to tell me everything about that guy!”

As soon as I started, the music started too, so I had the excuse to procrastinate the talk.
The guys started to play while their tech guys helped them. John was still nowhere to be found, but that wasn’t a bad thing actually. The song they played for the sound check was ‘Everything I Ask For’ and after a couple of tries for the intro, I spotted John getting on stage with a microphone. I looked away and pretended I didn’t see him going on.

“Those guys on the skateboards are pretty good aren’t they?”

“Annie I won’t buy it”

“What are you talking about?”

Madison was really curios, and that didn’t help.

“Annie and the singer of the band aren’t in a good relationship, let’s say so”

“Why’s that? From what I see, he’s even hotter than Kennedy”

“He was rude to her and she still doesn’t want to let it go, even if he apologized. He tries to get in touch with her because it’s like obvious he likes her but looks like she hates him”

“I would forgive him”

“Madison please, don’t even start, Elliott is making my head exploding with this shit”

“I just want you to be friends with him; he would love to be friends with you…and even more”

“Elliott, please, shut up”

“Can you please explain what is happening to me too?”

And that’s when Elliott started to explain the whole story to Madison, leaving me listening without even replying. The worst thing was that Madison agreed with Elliott, so they were two against one.

“Are you done now?!”

“Don’t be grumpy!”

“I just want to see the sound check, ok? I need to write about it later”

The band didn’t even finish the whole song, so after it, Elliott ran over them to greet the other guys. I wanted to as well but the presence of John didn’t make me that happy. I looked over Elliott hugging everybody and especially hugging a very surprised John. When she pointed over us, and he looked, I avoided the eye contact. It was hard for me being there with him so close.
Pat, Garrett and Jared came to us and I couldn’t deny them a smile. They were too nice. I introduced Madison to them and she told them she never listened to them, warning them that she wasn’t a fan girl.
They laughed and then we all got backstage. I tried to be as far as possible from John until Madison told me he was insistently looking at me. I turned to see him staring with a beer in his hands.

“He’s fucking hot Annie, why don’t you forget what happened, it’s no big deal”

“Madison, I reckon he is a very good looking guy, but I don’t like his personality”

“Just because he treated you like shit once, that doesn’t mean he will forever…besides he apologized, right?” I nodded “you can’t say you know someone until you really get to know him better, and I say you should go for it, before someone else does…”

“Oh well, let people do that. Apparently he likes everybody but me”

“From what I see, it’s the exact opposite”

“Whatever”

“Give him a second chance. I gave Hunter tons of chances”

“You and Hunter are together, it’s different!”

“It doesn’t matter. John clearly wants to work things out with you and I suggest you to try. He can’t be that bad, can he? Maybe he is always in a bad mood when you’re around”

“That should cheer me up?!”

She laughed and walked away, going to talk to Elliott and Kennedy. I sighed and mentally listed all the reasons why I should have ran away as soon as I could, before the worst would have happened.
Before I could walk somewhere I felt a presence next to me, but I didn’t look.

“You didn’t say hi”

“Neither did you”

“I guess you’re avoiding me. Like you avoided my emails, my phone calls, my texts”

“You guess right”

“I just can’t understand why you’re still acting like this with me. I tried everything to get in touch with you and every time you let me down”

“Make your count”

“Are you really still mad for what happened at Warped?? How many times do I have to apologize?”

“It’s not about Warped John! It’s your attitude! Every time you get close to me you made me get so mad, because you look like you know it all, but you really don’t know anything! Stop acting so superior, it makes me nervous! You make me nervous and embarrassed and I can’t be friends with someone like you”

“Well at least I know what you think”

“Perfect”

“Awesome”

He walked away and I just wanted to clear my mind up. I tried to find a little space where to think, and I did, going back to the stage. It was getting dark, and everybody went grabbing something to eat so I really was alone, maybe. I sighed and wanted to scream out loud. That whole mess stressed me.
The way I reacted wasn’t the best and I reckoned it, but John wasn’t the best to deal with either. He didn’t understand, he never did in the first place. He was the first who led me down at Warped, when I felt like he sort of liked me, but then he told me I looked like a bitch who wanted to get in people’s pants.
I felt hurt, and the way he always talked to me, even trying to apologize, was useful. I cared about what people thought of me, and that was bad, because I should have given a fuck. I was raised that way and I couldn’t change. I cared about what everyone’s thought and especially what he thought.
I didn’t know why: he was the first telling me I didn’t fool him with my niceness, even if he was wrong about me. He hurt me because he told me straight to my face something no one else did before.
His words were like a slap. And everything he said to me since that day made the difference to me.
I always was the girl everyone liked, always searching for someone to tell me I was a nice girl, but seeing someone like him sticking up to me that way was hard to swallow. That’s why he made me nervous when he was around: I was in constant fight with myself, because I knew he was the only one he didn’t fall for how I wanted people to see me. He wasn’t right about what he thought in the first place, but still, he was different. His apologies were just useful to my ego, but inside I felt a burning volcano.
I felt somewhat attracted to him and I knew it, even if I denied it. From the first look I gave him at Warped, and still then. That’s why I wasn’t completely myself around him. Hard to take and hard to reckon, but true.

“Do you want something to drink?”

I looked up, to see John offering me a beer. He was insistent, but that time I didn’t want to push him away.
I shook my head, so he sat down next to me on the stairs that lead to the stage. I didn’t know what to say so I hoped he talked first. He sighed and took a sip from a bottle of Corona.

“Can we just try it all over again? I’m tired of us fighting”

I just nodded. He gave me his hand, and I took it, shaking it.

“I’m John, nice to meet you”

“I’m Annie, nice to meet you too John”

He smiled and I felt those weird butterflies again. I smiled back at him, before looking in front of me, where the sun was going down. The sight was beautiful, and I never thought I would have shared it with him.