The Greatest Love Of All.

“Good evening everyone, we are The Maine from Phoenix and we are happy to be here for the inauguration of this amazing skate park in Gilbert!”

The show started and the fans were going crazy. Some of them came from California, others from Texas, others even from Oregon. Their dedication left me speechless, because it was something amazing to see. I was sure they loved the music, but I knew they also thought the guys were nice guys with their feet on the ground. At least, I was sure Kennedy was. Now that John and I were trying to be cool to each other, I started to forget why he made me get so mad at him even just by breathing my same air.
I tried to look at him from a different point of view. I tried to remember how I felt the first time I saw him at Warped: I liked him at first glance because he was-he is- gorgeous. Then we fought, and he apologized, we fought again, he tried to get in touch with me but I didn’t care, and now finally I gave up and tried to start everything from the beginning. I should have looked at him like a girl who liked him, like a normal girl who just liked his band and was a fan. It should have been easy, right?

“So, how was the show?” Kennedy came to us right after they finished “did you write a good review this time?”

“Have I ever written something bad about you?”

“I was just checking”

Madison interrupted us.

“Are you sure you’re being objective?”

“Of course! Didn’t you like them?”

“Hell yeah if I did, but you know, maybe you got yourself involved too much”

I knew what she was talking about and I would have killed her. Kennedy had a weird look on his face, and I really hoped he didn’t get it wrong. Actually there was no other way to get that sentence, especially after I rejected him, but I hoped he would have acted mature about it and let it go.
Jared called Kennedy out loud because some fans wanted to talk to him so he left us three alone.

“What the hell Mad, why don’t you shut your mouth for once!”

“I was just saying!”

“You don’t have to assume things about John, especially in front of Kennedy” Elliott explained why “thanks, lawyer. Anyway I’m being serious, stop putting me in awkward situations”

“You’re the one who is assuming that we are assuming. Maybe I wasn’t even talking about John”

“Yes, and I am Mother Theresa. Don’t you dare playing your little mind games with me”

They both started to laugh at me and I felt frustrated. Everybody thought I liked John, even walls at this point. Everybody assumed I did it, but I didn’t. Or well, I did it but physically speaking. I also liked Kennedy physically speaking, and actually I liked him even personally speaking, so Kennedy would have had more chances. But still, I rejected him. And I would have rejected John as well, in case something happened between us: the only thought of us kissing made me feel weird, in a good but strange way.
I barely knew how to kiss: I had some kind of boyfriends but it was just for a date because no one seemed good enough for what I always wanted. Was it that hard to find a cute and nice guy who didn’t want you just for kicks, or just to have sex with you? Apparently yes. Besides, Wintersburg wasn’t that big and I never met anyone else outside school. My only male friend was Madison’s boyfriend and I wouldn’t even call him friend. I was the one who told him what to do when they had an argument, nothing more or nothing less.
I was sure John had tons of girls around him: he could have texted me but they were the ones he would have gone for. The ones they were everything he asked for, the ones he would have fallen for.
I was just a girl he liked to tease. And now probably I stopped being that girl too. I was just ‘a girl’ for him.
So, as people shouldn’t have assumed I liked him, they should have stopped assuming he liked me.

“Sutton, why don’t you have something to drink?”

John approached us, always with a beer in his hands. He drank a lot for what I could see.

“Yes, Annie, why don’t you drink?”

I gave Elliott a killer look.

“Don’t you have coke or something?”

They all burst into a big massive giant laugh.

“Come on Annie it’s not like you get drunk with a sip of beer!”

“I never drank beer before”

“How did you live without it!?”

John was shocked.

“I just don’t feel the need to drink it, that’s all”

John looked over my two girlfriends and asked them something.

“Is she always like this or is she making this hard just for me?”

“I think you have to find out yourself John” Elliott said something to Madison and they started to walk away together “we are going to talk to Pat, see you later”

I would have so killed them after that night. They were trying to get me with him, I got it. And even John got it, even the grass got it. I felt embarrassed all of a sudden, because I didn’t know what to say to him. We never had a proper civil talk until then so I didn’t know what he liked to talk about.

“So, did you write something?”

“Yes, I will update it on my blog in a few days”

“I will check it out then” I nodded and looked away. His eyes made my legs weak “listen; there’s a party at my house tomorrow night. Are you coming?”

Was he really inviting me at a party at his house?

“Ehm yes I guess it’s ok…can I bring Madison and Elliott?”

“Bring whoever you want as long as they’re girls” I didn’t get that last part, but I didn’t pay attention at all “are you staying at Kennedy’s tonight?”

“Yes, yes, he invited us to stay at his”

“You could stay at mine, my house is bigger and we could sleep in bunk beds. Besides my mom makes an amazing grilled cheese” he smiled and I smiled too because the thought of him loving his mom was cute.

“It’s ok John, let’s just…don’t try to push this”

He looked like falling down from the sky. Like he didn’t know what I was talking about.

“Excuse me?”

“This whole being nice with Annie thing. Ok, we are trying to be…friends or whatever, but don’t try it too hard” he looked shocked.

“I wasn’t doing anything like that. I invited you because I wanted you to stay at mine because Kennedy’s house is smaller than mine, that’s all. Stop thinking that everything I do has a second aim”

I nodded. I wanted to disappear, right there and then. I felt weird next to him and I didn’t know why.

“I’m sorry if I’m aggressive sometimes”

“I can take it, as long as you don’t eat me alive”

“I won’t”

“Good to know” he smiled again and I melted “are you sure you don’t want a sip?”

“I’m ok, thanks”

“Great. So, I guess I’m going to see you tomorrow night”

“Sure, count me in”

He looked around and scratched his head, messing his hair. He felt embarrassed as much as I did, I could tell. He sighed and we had this brief eye contact that lasted before I avoided his eyes: they were hypnotizing. I started to look at my feet and at his not so white vans shoes. That silence was killing me.

“I’m gonna go…Garrett is waving at me, I think I’m needed back there…”

“Yeah, of course, go”

He smiled weakly and went off. I puffed and tried somewhere to hide, because I couldn’t take that feeling anymore. My heart was beating so fast I couldn’t count the beats, and I felt my legs shaking. John was making me feel harmless, like I had no protection, like I wasn’t safe.
I sat on the same bench I sat on at the sound check, looking from the outside. Pat was setting off the drum set and everyone, even John, was working to put everything back in their van.
I was so into my thoughts that I didn’t see Kennedy sitting next to me.

“Hey writer, what’s up?”

“Nothing much really, I was looking at empty stage” he nodded “you were great tonight by the way”

“Thanks Annie, you know your opinion means a lot to me…to us”

I smiled and suddenly felt the need to hug him. That guy became one of the people I cared the most in a few months and I’m not one of those people who trust someone so easily. Kennedy was always nice with me and made me understand he was mature, and ready for a real friendship.

“Is that weird if I ask you for a hug? I bet you are used to it”

He laughed out loud and he hugged me, kissing my forehead.

“Annie Sutton you seriously are amazing”

“Kennedy Brock, I think the same about you”

He became silent and sighed.

“Can I ask you a question? But you need to be honest, with me, and with yourself too”

“Sure, shoot it”

“Are you really sure you don’t like John?”

No, not again. Not now. Why do you have to ruin this perfect moment.

“Yes Kenny, I’m sure” I replied immediately

“No, I mean, seriously Annie” he looked at me and he really was serious “we all think you do but you”

“You’re all wrong then. I don’t like him, I barely know him”

“I can see how you look at him, there’s no problem if you like him! I know, maybe I will be pissed for a while, but it’s ok, he’s my friend and you are too, I’m not angry or anything if you choose him over me”

“I don’t need to choose anyone over you, and again, I don’t like him. You all need to stop saying that”

“Why do you get so mad when we ask you if you do, there’s no need to be shy”

“I’m not being shy or anything, I’m saying the truth. I don’t like John that way ok? He’s a good looking guy but nothing more than that. Are you happy now?”

He nodded.

“As long as you’re sure”

I didn’t answer to that. I puffed and asked him if we could just go home, because I was tired. Tired of that whole day and tired of listening to everyone assuming bullshits. I didn’t like John, period. I didn’t.
I didn’t, did I?