The Stars Don't Shine

Best friends means forever, right? Wrong.

Well, in some cases is it right. But very few. Chances are your best friend now won’t be your best friend for the rest of your life. There could be many reasons why. Like, them moving away, them dying, the both of you get in a humongous fight and never speaking again, he or she stealing your boyfriend or girlfriend, them becoming popular while you, well, you just don’t, or maybe them falling in love with you, but you don’t feel the same way, and it breaks their heart and they can't stand to even be friends anymore. Just to name a few. But none of those is the reason I lost my best friend. Oh, no. Those would have been much better than how I lost Oliver. Much less humiliating. Well, except for the dying one. Sure, it would have been less embarrassing, but still, death is worse than anything. Duh.

So how exactly did I lose my best friend?

I was fat, he was skinny, and no one wants to be friends with the fat girl.

He mooed at me. Oliver Sykes mooed at me.

Now, I know mooing isn't a normal thing people do to one another. And when Oliver did it, it wasn’t normal either. And he wasn’t alone everyone. Nearly everyone else in the Stocksbridge cafeteria was doing along with him. Oliver wasn’t even the one who started the mooing fiasco. Stacy McCall was.

Now, let me tell you a little bit about Stacy McBitchCall. She’s so beautiful, it just makes me super jealous, she’s the nicest, kindest, sweetest person you could ever hope to meet, she’s also a true brainiac, gets straight A’s and everything, she has a lot of talent, like cheerleading, drawing, being nice, especially singingand blowjobs, and she has never, ever in all her life ever said anything mean to anyone.

I’m kidding, of course. Stacy is anything but those things. I’ll tell you what the real Stacy is like: mean, purely, deeply, rottenly mean, a complete and major whore, fake, very fake, the kind of girl who doesn’t care who she hurts just as long as she gets what she wants, excessively rich, spoiled, and just the typical cliché popular head cheerleader.

Stacy had never liked me, even when we were in grade school and I was just a tad bit chubby. But as the years went on, and the bigger I got, Stacy seemed to despise me more and more. I guess because I was one of the few girls who didn’t envy her. Who didn’t gossip about her 24/7, who didn’t kiss the ground she walked on, and didn’t hope that maybe, just maybe she’d let me sit with her at lunch one day.

Actually, I ate lunch with three boys. Two of them being my best friends: Finn Turner, Oliver and Tom Sykes. Now, I didn’t really know Tom all that well. He kind of just hung around Oliver because he was too shy to go and make real friends. But Oliver and Finn were the two people who knew me better than anyone else in the whole entire world. Finn was like jelly, something sweet that everybody loved. Oliver was like peanut butter totally delicious, but if you had too much it was really gross. And I was like bread, something that could go with just about anything and held things together. We all went together perfectly.

But Oliver went and ruined it all. Took our friendship and tossed in the garbage like a rotten banana peel. Like it never meant anything to him.

And all it took was one word. A simple three letter word. A sound that cows made. Moo.