Just Smile, That's All I Ask.

The soft breeze blew through my hair making it fan out to the side and across my forehead. The sun was warm and heavy on my skin but the wind balanced it out perfectly.
It’s been a while since we have got such a nice sunny day, it was actually a really nice feeling just being out here. It was calming I guess I could say.

And for once I was actually calm and peaceful.

I wasn’t worried, stressed, anxious or anything. I felt like I could breathe again and that I didn’t have such a huge weight constantly sitting on my shoulders.

Over the last couple of months so much has changed it amazed me.

Just thinking that just those months ago I was living with two housemates from hell, which made mine and Danny’s lives stressful. It felt like I didn’t have a home anymore, just a house I was living in that I didn’t even wanted to touch with a thirty foot pole.
I was afraid that something would happen, that one day someone would just crack and the whole house would explode in hatred anger where someone would seriously get hurt.

It got to the point where I was waiting all day, every day for it to happen.

I was scared to be there, I was at Rhianna’s all the time or I was out somewhere so at least for a while I didn’t have to live in it. But even then it felt like it followed me, making me tense all the time.
Hell I was that stressed out I didn’t even realise I was falling for one of my friends, I feel so stupid and embarrassed admitting that to myself – but it was true.
And I’m glad that I figured that out.
Though Rhianna did help.

I’m glad that I have my home back. I finally had a place other then Rhi’s that I felt safe in, felt welcome in and a place that I was content being in.
I haven’t felt that way towards that house for about a year, it was almost weird, but it was heart warming to have that back again.
I can actually say I have a great home and that I‘m happy.

I could smile, be happy, laugh, have fun and everything else like that without any worry.
I have a boyfriend I really like, that also happens to be a close friend. I’ve gotten closer to my other friends and just all around happy.

I think the only thing that hasn’t changed all that much is my insomnia, but honestly I am sleeping a slight but more without all the stress; which I’m thankful for. It might be only a slight bit more sleep but to me it made a world of a difference.
Maybe after a while I can get that better, at least I could try.

But right now that didn’t bother me so much.

A random gust of wind whipped past making my hair fan out all over my face. Sighing I shut my eyes before trying to move it away. Just as I got it back behind my ear, it got loose and did it again.
I felt someone else’s finger tips slide across my skin. When I felt that my hair wasn’t all over my face I opened my eyes and looked up above where my head was laying on the grass.

Chandra smiled before leaning down pressing his lips to my temple.

“Hello.” I smiled as he pulled back.
“Hey.” He grinned.
I watched as he moved to lay down beside me on the grass.
“The others are still getting the stuff ready for the BBQ, Issac making the salad and he’s eaten probably a quarter of it already.”

I laughed softly shaking my head. How does that not surprise me?
Sightly softly I rolled over into my side resting my head on his shoulder looking past him to the kitchen window where I could see Rhianna was wanting to disappear as Danny chased Issac around her, for whatever reason this time.
Normally I would help, but I think she can handle it, plus I could see it in her eyes that she just wanted to laugh.

I smiled softly and moved my eyes back to the sky and the clouds, what I was looking at before.
“So were you cloud watching before?”
“Yeah and thinking.” I nodded.
“Thinking about what?” Chandra asked softly looking down at me.

I moved my eyes away from the sky to him. He gave me a curious look.
“Just about the last few months, how everything isn’t stressful anymore, how those idiots are gone...” I trailed off.
Chandra nodded looking at me with soft eyes.
“...And that, I’m a lot happier now.” I added.
“You are and it’s nice to see that. I love your smile and while all that shit was happening I missed it.”

I chuckled lightly but didn’t fail to feel my cheeks warm up slightly, but that’s alright.
Smiling I moved to quickly peck his lips leaving him grinning brightly.

“Can I ask you one thing?”
“Yeah, what’s that?”

“Just keep smiling for me.”